Categories > Anime/Manga > Gravitation > My Lover, My Darkness

My Lover, My Darkness

by KittenCeez 0 reviews

Shuichi was given something that Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now he knows Yuki’s biggest secret. Somehow, Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.

Category: Gravitation - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Romance - Characters: Shuichi,Yuki - Warnings: [!!] [X] - Published: 2011-05-16 - Updated: 2011-05-16 - 1888 words - Complete

My Lover, My Darkness

Summary: Shuichi was given something that Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now he knows Yuki’s biggest secret. Somehow, Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.

Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Gravitation, though I wish I did. But I just have to live with my ever increasing Gravitation collection.

Rating: R – Content, Language, Adult Themes

A/N: Based on the Gravitation Megamix Panda. I believe I have covered enough in the body of the story for you if you have not read it, but still go and find and read it. Outside of the typical Maki-sama Megamix content (which serves as a warning to minors), it gives a deeper insight into Yuki’s past and his trauma.

A/N2: I have only just realised that this is not up here lol…well, now it is!


Chapter 1

Something was terribly wrong with Shuichi and it had Hiro worried.

They had finished their recent tour of Japan and Shuichi had not taken the next available mode of transport back home to Yuki. Instead, he had decided to stay with the band for the three days they had allocated to relax in Hiroshima.

If that had not gotten Hiro’s alarm bells clanging, Shuichi’s behaviour most certainly did. Shuichi was acting his usual bubbly, psychotic self but it was obvious to Hiro that he was really putting effort into it. Nevertheless, when Hiro confronted Shuichi about why he was upset, Shuichi brushed him off with a ‘nothing’, a fake smile and forced a happy bounce in his step to try to throw Hiro off.

“I wish I knew what was wrong with him,” Hiro sighed to Suguru.

Suguru just shrugged, “Perhaps Yuki-san has a deadline and told Shindou-san to stay here for the next few days.”

Hiro just looked down at the shorter Bad Luck member, “Do you not think we would have had Shuichi whining and crying about it?”

Suguru considered this and nodded a little, “A distinct possibility…who knows, Shindou-san has been like this before, he will get over it eventually.”

Hiro was not convinced and so he took it upon himself to keep an eye on his best friend.

Shuichi had joined them for dinner that evening but was rather subdued only randomly joining in with the conversations instead of being at the centre of them. Hiro watched carefully as emotions of love, hurt, anger and unshed tears and desperation ran wild in Shuichi’s eyes every time someone mentioned his lover’s name. What startled him the most was the utter fury that blazed in his eyes as he stared through his food whenever their Sacho’s name was mentioned.

Shuichi finished his meal before everyone else, although he left most of it and excused himself to his hotel room completely forgetting his upcoming dessert, which had to be a first for all the time Hiro had known him. The sweet-toothed hyper never skipped on dessert even if he had eaten enough to fill a horse.

Hiro called after him and made to follow but K stopped him, “Let him go Hiro, I will talk to him later on.”

Hiro sighed and sat down to quickly finish his meal intent on speaking to Shuichi before K did. Hiro also skipped on his dessert.

Suguru just hung his head as the two extra desserts appeared before him courtesy of K’s directions.

K just laughed, “Our youngest member of the group is still growing and needs to feed those growing bones!” K continued to laugh loudly in his typical strange fashion.

Suguru continued to hang his head as his eye twitched, “I am 20 already K-san…an adult…” He sighed heavily and silently cursed Hiro for leaving him here.


Hiro looked at the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging off the room’s door handle, took a deep breath and knocked on the door, “Shuichi?”

When he received no answer, Hiro knocked again, louder, “Shuichi…it is Hiro…come on, open up.”

Hiro waited a few seconds before he tried the door finding it unlocked, ‘Shuichi! What are you doing!?’

He walked in to the darkened room, closing the door and locking it behind him, “Shuichi! What do you think you are doing leaving the door unlocked, man! Any one could have walked in here; crazed fans, blackmailers, axe-wielding murderers…K would blow your brains out if he knew you left the door unlocked…”

“It would be a relief at this point.”

Hiro blinked at the remark, “Huh? Shuichi?”

Hiro walked over to the other side of the bed and found Shuichi sitting on the floor leaning against the bed and staring out the window. The curtains were drawn back and the moon shone over the room illuminating the empty bottles of alcohol that were from the mini-bar. One of the bottles was broken and Shuichi never drank alone.

“What…Shuichi…” Hiro sat next to his best friend, “Shuichi, what is wrong? Please tell me.”

Tears began to fall down Shuichi’s face. “I do not want to tell you what is wrong, Hiro.”

Hiro just looked at his miserable friend, “I um…okay. Do you want me to do something…anything?”

“Will you hold me Hiro?” Shuichi asked quietly as he continued to stare out the window.

Hiro nodded and took hold of Shuichi as he had asked. Shuichi was silent for a few minutes before he started sobbing violently. Shuichi continued to sob with his head buried in Hiro’s chest until his tears had soaked through to Hiro’s singlet.

When Shuichi’s sobbing had stopped the guitarist realised it was only because he had passed out. Whether it was from crying so much or from the alcohol in his system was anyone’s guess, but most likely a combination of both.

Hiro sat Shuichi up so he would not slump to the ground and stood, stretching and popping a few stiff joints from sitting on the ground for so long. He shifted his wet shirt so it sat properly and pulled the bed covers down. After removing Shuichi’s boots and socks, Hiro took his jumper and t-shirt off leaving him in a singlet and his shorts. Hiro scooped him up and placed him on the bed pulling the covers over his sleeping friend.

Hiro flicked a lamp on and quickly tidied up the room, picking up the empty little bottles and wrappers. He placed a glass of water and headache tablets on the bedside table for Shuichi when he woke. He drew the curtains closed, flicked off the light and slipped out of the room taking Shuichi’s spare room key with him. Hiro took a deep breath and leaned against the door he had just closed.

Suguru was walking up to his room when he spotted Hiro, “Oh Nakano-san. Is Shindou-san alright?”

Hiro looked at Suguru, clearly stressing, “No, he is not. I do not know what has happened, he will not tell me, but whatever it is, it has hurt him bad. He is completely messed up, I have never seen him this upset and Shuichi has never not told me everything in the sharpest detail. Sometimes I wonder if I know more about his sex life than his lover does!”

Suguru was taken aback, “What do you think has caused it?”

“I honestly do not know. I have been watching him during the day though and at dinner, every time Yuki-san’s name was mentioned he would get upset or angry,” Hiro explained.

Suguru thought for a moment, “Surely they have not…broken up again, have they?”

Hiro shook his head, “That cannot be it; Shuichi would have told me if it were. That is not all though, whenever Seguchi-san’s name was mentioned he would get this furious look in his eyes. Something is going on behind the scenes and he is really struggling with it. This really pisses me off!”

Suguru sighed, “It is certainly the Company’s worst kept secret that my cousin does not like Shindou-san.”

Hiro started walking towards his room, “I do not care if Seguchi-san does not like Shuichi. If Yuki-san loves him, that is all that matters. I wish Seguchi-san would stop interfering with their relationship. For crying out loud, they have been together for well over three years now. Is it so much to ask to just let them be happy?” he growled.

Suguru nodded, “I do agree with you Nakano-san; after they have still stayed together through my cousin’s efforts to break them up before, anyone would have thought Eiri-san and Shindou-san would be left to themselves.”

Hiro stood by his door, “It frustrates the hell out of me. Shuichi is my best friend and I hate the fact that he has been through so much in that relationship already. Why does he have to keep fighting your cousin, who is Yuki-san’s brother-in-law I might add? Yuki-san has already confessed that he loves Shuichi, though not in so many words, but still.”

Suguru had always admired the friendship Hiro held with Shuichi and nodded, “You are a good friend to Shindou-san and I agree this does get annoying Nakano-san, for all of us. When Shindou-san is having problems with Eiri-san, it affects the entire band. However, we are only speculating and that is all we can do if Shindou-san will not speak about his problems.”

Hiro just groaned and let his head fall back against the door.

Suguru looked up at him with a small sympathetic smile, “Do not let it worry you Nakano-san, when he is ready Shindou-san will talk to you, he usually does.”

Hiro nodded and turned his head to see K about to open Shuichi’s door, “He is asleep.”

K looked to Hiro and Suguru, “Oh?” he walked up to them, “Do you know what is wrong?”

Hiro took a deep breath and told K about Shuichi’s behaviour and his observations. K zoned out to his own thoughts for a moment before coming back out of them, “Look, so long as we all watch out for Shuichi and we are there for him when he needs us, everything will come out alright.”

Hiro rolled his eyes, “That is what everyone says each time those two are placed on rocks. How much more do you think either of them will be able to take before they snap? Although from here it looks like Shuichi has already snapped!”

Hiro was met with silence, “I am going to bed.”


The next morning they were surprised to find that Shuichi had already checked out of the hotel.

An apprehensive Hiro finally agreed with K and Suguru that the depressed singer had come to his senses and gone back home to his lover, although, something still was not sitting right with him about Shuichi. Something was viciously off about the whole situation and Hiro was aching to know what was going on with his best friend.


What is wrong with poor our Shu-chan?
This fic will be about five chapters long, maybe an epilogue…
The next chapter will be up soon.

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