Categories > Anime/Manga > Gravitation > My Lover, My Darkness
My Lover, My Darkness
Summary: Shuichi was given something Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Gravitation, though I wish I did. But I just have to live with my ever increasing Gravitation collection.
Rating: R - Content, Language, Adult Themes
A/N:
Based on the Gravitation Megamix Panda. I believe I have covered enough in the body of the story for you if you have not read it, but still go and find and read it. It gives a deeper look into Yuki’s past and his trauma.
A/N2:
Thank you for your reviews! They are much appreciated and I love them!
Chapter 3 certainly generated the response I was expecting. It is true that any normal person would not forgive such a thing ever happening, but this is Shuichi we are talking about…he has a habit of forgiving everything Yuki does. From the reader’s point of view, it can be upsetting to see Shuichi put himself through all of this, but I find when it is just Shuichi and Yuki on their own, working through their problems together; everything feels right with the world. However, when other people involve themselves, such as Hiro, Tohma, Mika…even Ryuichi…everything goes to pieces and I start to get steamed. I just want to jump in the manga/anime/fics and tell everyone to go away and leave the couple alone in not so nice words, haha!
I think this chapter will answer some questions and create more. I hope you all enjoy it, especially after this ridiculous wait!
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Chapter 4
Yuki woke with Shuichi still curled up in his arms and a firm, cat-like grip on his arms that surrounded Shuichi's body. It was as if they had not shifted at all during the night and it felt like it too. Yuki’s muscles were heavy and stiff, and he took a moment to stretch his back and legs. He looked over Shuichi and could see the dry track marks along Shuichi's cheeks where his lover had been crying overnight. Yuki was uncertain if Shuichi had been awake or crying in his sleep and a sharp pang drove through his chest. He knew that he was the cause of Shuichi's tears (although, it was rare for him not to be the cause of them) and he pulled Shuichi tighter into his arms, holding his lover to him and eventually falling back to sleep.
Some time later, Yuki woke to Shuichi wriggling in his arms. He groaned when he heard the phone ringing and vowed to disconnect the thing, permanently, “Ignore it Shu-chan…It has already rung this morning.”
Shuichi kissed Yuki on the cheek, “Well, if it is ringing again, it must be important. Let me up.”
Yuki reluctantly let Shuichi out of his grasp so he could reach the telephone. Shuichi finally answered the phone, albeit groggily, “Moshi moshi…oh morning Hiro!”
“Yo Shuichi! I called your parents house earlier to see if you were up for coming into the studio today, but since you are back at home, K is already on his way to pick you up. I thought I would give you the heads up,” Hiro explained over the phone.
Shuichi yawned, “Yeah, I came back home last night…what time is it…EE-YAH! It is 10:30am!” Then it registered that K was coming to get him, “How long ago did he leave?” Shuichi asked urgently.
“Um, about…five minutes ago. I will catch you when you get here.” Hiro then hung up.
Shuichi had hardly put the phone back down before he was up and running for the bathroom, diving into the shower.
‘What the hell,’ Yuki thought as he dragged himself out of the nice warm bed and threw on his yukata. He leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom while Shuichi speedily showered, “What are you doing?”
Shuichi poked his shampooed head out of the shower door, “K will be here any minute!”
Yuki sighed, “Do you have to go to work today?” Yuki would have preferred to spend the day with Shuichi. He had just gotten him back. They had a lot that they needed to do; buy a new mattress, Yuki now needed some new clothes, the pantry was almost empty, Yuki would not even bother looking in the fridge, and they had a month’s worth of intimate bonding to catch up on…and Yuki needed to find some time to talk to Shuichi.
Shuichi had ducked his head back under the water, “If I was not needed K would not be on his way here.”
Yuki was still unimpressed, “What the hell is so important that it cannot wait one more day? You have just come back from a tour!”
Shuichi had conditioner in his hair and was scrubbing his body with his favourite soap, “We started putting bits and pieces of a new album together while we had some spare time. Complain to your brother-in-law if you want me to have more time off.”
“Oh I will!” vowed Yuki.
Shuichi poked his head out to see his lover leaning against the sink next to the shower with his arms folded and an annoyed scowl on his face. Shuichi smiled, “Hey…”
Yuki looked at Shuichi who leaned forward to kiss him.
“Love you,” Shuichi told him and stole another kiss before going back to his shower.
Yuki’s annoyance generally dissipated when Shuichi showed him that he loved him. Yuki smirked before taking up his previous scowl and poked his head into Shuichi’s shower, also admiring the damage his hands had done to his lover’s body the night before. He was certain he had similar scratches and bite marks to show, “Oi! Hurry up and brush your damn teeth! You have morning breath!”
Shuichi turned around to poke his tongue out at Yuki and went back to finishing his shower.
Yuki sighed and headed into the kitchen to begin his morning ritual; coffee, cigarette, food, more coffee, another cigarette, shower, dress, and another cigarette before retreating to the study with a can of beer. It was like clockwork, although when the ritual began depended on when he felt like getting up.
After making his coffee and lighting his cigarette, Yuki began making a basic breakfast of toast and sliced fruits while listening to the music of his lover rushing to get ready. Honestly, it was a comedy-musical in itself. The overture consisted of Shuichi’s shower followed by the first act of Shuichi drying his body and running around finding his clothing for the day. The second act followed consisting of a rather hilarious display of Shuichi rushing to get dressed. There was always a drama of losing one item or another, usually a sock and the dance routine with the hopping, stumbling and falling steps. The build up to the grand finale was Shuichi doing his hair. Yuki believed that if he could, he would even pay money to see when Shuichi declared that he was having a ‘bad hair day’. The grand finale was when a clean, tidy and fully dressed Shuichi made his entrance into the kitchen to wolf down his breakfast. Shuichi would then make his loud exit from the stage receiving a farewell from his audience member and head off to work. Every now and again, there would be an encore with the little idiot forgetting something.
Yuki had started nibbling on his breakfast when Shuichi made his grand entrance all clean, tidy and fully dressed. Too often this was when the big bad gun-wielding villain of the musical appeared explosively on the stage and literally dragged Shuichi out of the door and today was no different.
Shuichi was about to follow K out of the apartment when Yuki spoke up, “Hold on a moment Winchester.”
K let his assault rifle rest on his shoulder as the tall American looked down at Yuki. Shuichi turned to Yuki and looked up at him.
“You still have not eaten anything.”
Wanting to avoid a K/Yuki confrontation, Shuichi cut in, “I am okay though, I will get something at the studio, okay?” Shuichi kissed Yuki on the cheek before heading out the door, “I love you Yuki!”
“Hn,” Yuki grumbled in reply before adding, “Oi, I will pick you up today. 5pm.”
Yuki’s reply was a flying Shuichi barrelling into him in a tight glomp, “Yay! Yuki loves me!” Shuichi declared for the neighbours to hear.
Yuki rolled his eyes, “Whatever, just quit it with the mush brat! Now get off!”
Shuichi was pulled off Yuki’s body by his manager’s strong grip on the back of his clothing. Instantly Shuichi’s hysterics began as he cried, “IwannastaywithYuki!” again for the neighbours to hear.
K’s grip on the flailing pink-haired idiot did not falter as he held up his assault rifle, “Have you two met?”
Shuichi’s wailing and flailing limbs came to a grinding halt and with slumped shoulders, he dragged his feet out of the apartment door. Yuki closed the door and secured the locks, letting a small smile free as he retreated to the quiet of his study intent on doing some writing before he had to go to N-G.
After intermittently typing for a little over an hour, Yuki decided his current novel idea was not going anywhere. All that the budding novelist had managed during Shuichi’s days away were twenty pages of random scenes and only two of them he had managed to fit together. Instead of sitting around and glaring at the passages of text in an attempt to coerce the ideas together, Yuki called his editor and, after she had gotten over the shock of him being the one to call her, they came up with a plan for Yuki to write several short stories as an alternative.
Yuki was pleased with this suggestion and began editing and rearranging his current work. When Yuki finally sat back from his laptop to stretch and take a break, he found it was already 3:30pm.
“Shit!” Yuki cried to himself and saved his work before rushing into the bathroom to shower and get ready. He was ready to leave twenty minutes later throwing on his sunglasses, picking up his keys and heading out the door.
It seemed the traffic knew he was out to get his brother-in-law as it took Yuki twice as long to get to the N-G building as it normally did. Yuki felt a headache coming on and took a couple of headache tablets before getting out of his car. Yuki sometimes loathed his celebrity status at having his life documented by the media but at times, he loved it. He never had problems getting through the security and reception area of N-G’s ground floor and simply walked through as if he owned the place. Upon reaching the top floor, he walked up to Tohma’s office, ignored his protesting secretary, threw open the doors and strode into the room, “Seguchi!”
Tohma sat at his desk reading over several band schedules and after jumping a mile high in his chair at the bursting intrusion, looked up in surprise when Yuki exploded into his office with no announcement other than the bellowing of his name. After he had picked up his lost papers and his heart rate had slowed back down, Tohma looked behind Yuki to his apologetically bowing secretary and waved to her that it was all right before she quickly closed his office doors.
“Eiri-san. What are you doing here?” Tohma enquired.
“Give me one damn good reason why I should not rip you apart with my bare hands!” Yuki yelled approaching the desk menacingly.
Tohma blinked, “What in the world are you talking about, Eiri-san?”
Yuki was plainly furious, “Do not give me that shit Seguchi! What the fuck were you thinking when you sent Shuichi that fucking tape?”
Tohma continued to stare at Yuki, still having no idea what the taller man was on about, “Tape? What tape? Eiri-san, I have not sent Shindou-san anything. The closest things to me sending him mail are his payslips and they come from my accounting department. Now please sit down and tell me what has happened.”
Yuki did not know what to do with himself. He was so angry, but he knew Seguchi well enough to know when the man was telling the truth, and he was definitely telling the truth this time. Yuki silently took a seat in one of the desk chairs, “Shuichi…he…found out.”
Tohma started to think what it could have been that Shuichi knew about. He had one idea and hoped he was wrong, “What did he find out about, Eiri-san?”
Yuki continued with his head down, refusing to meet Tohma’s piercing gaze, “Someone sent him a copy of the tape you took…last time I called you and Tatsuha…”
Tohma cringed visibly, “I see.”
Since the unstable beginnings of Yuki’s relationship with Shuichi, Yuki had only called upon Tohma for his help twice, whereas before meeting Shuichi, Yuki would slip into that dark, submissive personality on a frequent basis. Tohma would never deny that he had enjoyed these visits, especially since his physical relationship with his wife was never a regular or altering thing. Now that she was surprisingly pregnant, he had taken Yuki’s latest slump eagerly and lengthily.
Both of Yuki’s slumps had pivoted around Shuichi being away on tour, indicating to the veteran synth player that Yuki’s mentality was now centred on his younger lover. Tohma loved having Yuki depend on him just that little bit, and would admit to being jealous that Shuichi had captured Yuki’s heart so deeply and so quickly. Whether Yuki acted like it or not, Shuichi was good for him and Tohma silently respected the kid for it.
Yuki cut Tohma from his thoughts, “So why would Tatsuha do this then? What does he have to gain from this?”
Tohma sat back and thought for a moment, but drawing a blank, “I am sorry, Eiri-san, I cannot answer that one for you.” Tohma was starting to inwardly get angry at the younger Uesugi and was going to approach Tatsuha before Yuki did, other wise the kid would not live through their meeting.
Yuki stood up and continued his fitful rage, “This has nearly cost me my relationship! You have no idea how close he was to walking out on me! I would have lost him!”
Tohma looked at Yuki straight in the eye, “However you have not, have you?”
“Thankfully no,” Yuki gritted out. He paused for a moment before setting off again, eyes blazing at his way too calm brother-in-law, “Fuck, Seguchi! Do you have any idea what that tape did to him?”
Tohma looked at Yuki assuredly, “I am sure it shocked the life out of him and threw him into a complete tailspin.”
Yuki latched on to the back of the chair in front of him in a tight enough grip to rip the upholstery if he had sharp enough nails, “No shit! He has spent the last four days in utter misery, not to mention starving himself, because he thought I had blatantly cheated on him!”
“Well, I am sorry to say, but you have, Eiri-san,” Tohma told him outright, “Though not with me or Tatsuha-kun.” Tohma spun his desk chair around to stand up and came around the desk to stand before Yuki. Yuki’s warning eyes and coiled stance didn’t do a thing to stop him putting his hand up to touch Yuki’s cheek, “Your eyes did not see either of us that day, but Kitazawa-san.”
Yuki took in a shocked breath and was about to vehemently protest when he admitted to himself that Seguchi was right.
Tohma took hold of Yuki’s arm and led the novelist over to sit on the couch, propping himself on the coffee table in front of it and took hold of Yuki’s hands, “It is time you told Shindou-san everything about your past and Kitazawa-san; let Shuichi be the one to heal you now, completely. That ‘eternal, unfulfilled promise’ of Kitazawa’s you get yourself lost in, lies in the grave with Kitazawa, not in Shuichi’s heart.”
Yuki had tears in his eyes and he looked away from Tohma, “I never wanted him to know…”
Tohma placed his hand on Yuki’s shoulder, “I know, Eiri-san, and we will figure out how this happened and what to do.”
Yuki had always been ashamed of his psychological slumps that lead to him using his brother and brother-in-law, calling himself the worst human being and he never wanted Shuichi to ever see him this way; Shuichi had seen enough of his bad sides. Tohma ignored his telephone ringing in the background, having noticed the sounds of a helicopter landing on the roof of the building above him, but too occupied to enquire why.
Yuki wiped at his eyes, “I nearly lost him Seguchi, and not just like one of our arguments, I mean really lost him…and I cannot lose him…”
When the telephone ringing cut off, there was a timid knock on the door. Tohma raised his eyebrow and went to open the door. His secretary stepped in and bowed before himself and Yuki.
“I apologise for the interruption, Seguchi-sama, but you told me to interrupt you with any emergencies.”
Tohma mentally kicked himself for ignoring his secretary when she told him it was for an emergency, finally waking up to the fact that a helicopter had landed on his building roof, “I do apologise…what has happened?”
“Shindou-san collapsed during recording and has been taken to St Luke’s International Hospital. K-san organised a helicopter to take him.”
Not one second later than she had finished her sentence, Yuki was already out the door.
Yuki was about to give up on the elevator and make for the steps when Tohma caught up with him, “You are coming, are you?”
Tohma stepped into the elevator and nodded as he slipped his suit jacket on, “Of course.”
Yuki tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator took them down to the ground floor. A poor, unsuspecting sole was blasted for also trying to use the same elevator, “TAKE THE NEXT ONE DAMMIT!”
Tohma made a mental note to apologise to that employee later.
Yuki and Tohma made their way through the gathered employees on the ground floor that had stopped to chat about Shuichi’s grand exit. Hiro, Suguru and K were about to walk out the main doors when they caught up with them.
Yuki called out to Hiro, “Oi! Nakano! What the hell happened?”
Hiro stopped his frantic digging for his keys to his motorcycle and turned around to speak to the novelist, “Hey Yuki-san. We do not know what was wrong with him; one minute he was belting out tunes and rocking around in the recording booth, the next he was passed out on the floor. But the mike stand fell with him and it folded, part of it stabbed his side…the ambulance officers said it only…where the hell are my keys? …went in about an inch so there should not be any major damage…” Hiro was about to tip his bag contents on the concrete floor when he finally heard the jingle of his keys.
Suguru was looking a little pale and Sakano was doing what he did best: running around panicking. K put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, “It is not your fault…really. You had no way of knowing.”
Suguru gave K an incredulous look as he felt, rather than saw, Yuki’s eyes boring holes into his person right now.
Yuki stared down at the young boy, “Come again?”
Suguru stood up a little straighter and turned to face one irate Yuki, “We all skipped lunch today. We had all been too immersed in the tracks we were working on to notice the time, and Shuichi had been more energetic than I have ever seen him in the recording booth. I said to him ‘for once you might run out of energy’ and fifteen minutes later he was lying on the ground!” Suguru had become hysterical towards the end of his speech. Superstitious and supernatural happenings always freaked him out.
Yuki got the picture as to what had happened with Shuichi, “So he has not eaten…all day?”
Hiro shook his head, “Nope, neither of us have.”
Yuki flicked the ash off his cigarette before swinging around and punching K square on the cheekbone, “I told you this morning that he had not eaten yet! Did either of you notice how thin he has become since your tour ended?”
Tohma grabbed hold of Yuki’s arm before it swung into K’s face again, “Eiri-san! Stop this! Shindou-san will most likely be in the Hospital by now…we should get moving…”
Hiro had a very strong hold of K’s arms to keep the keen gunman from retaliating. Now that he had been alerted to it, he woke up to the fact that Shuichi did seem thinner than normal and further realised something else, “Yuki-san, when you say he has not eaten, has he eaten at all since he left us in Hiroshima?”
Yuki shrugged Tohma off him, “Apparently not.”
Hiro was shocked and let it show on his face, “That was like…two days ago! And even then he had not eaten much!”
Yuki was really gagging to let all his pent up anger out at someone and K was good enough. However, he receded and followed Tohma to his parked car. Tohma tried to convince Yuki to let him drive instead, but was given a “Drop dead,” as Yuki got into his driver’s seat; no one drives Yuki’s car but Yuki. Tohma sighed and hopped in the passenger seat, telling Yuki to keep calm and drive safely. He was certain Shuichi did not want his partner lying in a hospital bed next to him.
During the drive, Yuki addressed Tohma, keeping his eyes on the road, “Look…Shuichi is really cut up right now…he was not exactly happy to see me yesterday, I do not know how he will react when he sees you.”
Tohma nodded, “I understand, Eiri-san.”
Yuki took Tohma’s earlier words and used them well; they got there safely enough, though not as much could be said about the car of the ‘lane-hogging moron of a bastard whore’ who tried to cut Yuki off in his efforts to get to Shuichi. That driver mysteriously lost control and ended up driving off the road into a ditch. Yuki rushed through the hospital grounds to the emergency ward. He fidgeted impatiently while waiting in line to enquire about Shuichi’s whereabouts as Tohma would not let him go look for Shuichi himself. When his turn finally came, the clerk, who instantly recognised them, instructed Yuki that Shuichi had been admitted and were given the floor and ward to find him on.
Yuki rushed off to the elevators at the main entrance with Tohma following behind him. They walked up to the nurse’s station were greeted by a young male nurse.
“I am here to see Shindou Shuichi,” Yuki told him.
The nurse looked up at Yuki before asking, “Can I have your name and relation to Shindou-san? Only relatives are allowed to see him.”
Yuki just blinked, about to snap at the kid before the intern behind the young nurse interrupted him.
“What planet have you been living on? This is Yuki Eiri and Seguchi Tohma,” she scolded with a smile, before calmly writing down Yuki and Tohma’s details and handed them their security passes for Shuichi’s room. Absolutely no recognition had passed over this kid’s face as the intern gave their names and Yuki agreed that this kid had not been living on planet Earth.
The nurse tried to disguise his impatient sigh as he went to do a round of the ward. The intern sniggered, “That nurse has only been out of Medical School for three months, he tries really hard but needs to learn some people skills. Anyway, Dr Nishimura is looking after Shindou-san. His side wound has only just been cleaned up and stitched under general anaesthetic so he should still be under. The doctors got to him quickly. Thankfully, there was minimal damage so the procedure was quite quick. Shindou-san was still asleep when I checked on him ten minutes ago, but I can page the Doctor for you now, if you would like.”
Yuki shook his head, just wanting to go to Shuichi’s room, “Not right now, thank you. I just want to see him.”
The intern smiled and gave them the number and directions to Shuichi’s room. At least the security guard posted near the door recognised him. Yuki was not prepared for the sight that greeted him as he opened the door.
Shuichi was lying on his back with tubes and wires coming from his body. A drip had been placed in his left arm and an oxygen mask rested on the bed next to him, clearly having been used. Shuichi was also hooked up to a heart monitor.
Yuki’s heart jumped, ‘What the hell is he hooked up to a heart monitor for!?’ Yuki took in Shuichi’s appearance. His face was hollow, showing his protruding cheekbones. The skin that covered them was pale and his darkened eyes made it look like he was on his deathbed. Yuki was trembling at the sight of his lover.
Tohma walked in behind Yuki and gasped at the sight of Shuichi. Perhaps the kid was in worse health than he had thought. Tohma put his hand on Yuki’s shoulder and left the room to ask the intern to call Shuichi’s doctor after all, leaving Yuki to spend time with Shuichi on his own.
Yuki stepped up to the bed and took Shuichi’s hand, trying to hold back his forming tears. He had hospitalised and killed many of his characters, putting them through their emotional paces. It was true that nothing prepares you for the real thing.
Yuki bent down and softly kissed Shuichi’s dry lips, “You baka,” he whispered.
Shuichi stirred a little and murmured Yuki’s name before slipping back into the rhythm of sleep. Yuki was relieved, as this often proved to be a good sign.
Tohma returned with Shuichi’s treating doctor soon after. Yuki turned to the man, not letting go of Shuichi’s hand and looked at the man expectantly. Dr Nishimura gave a small smile, “Shindou-san will be fine. He is resting now. We were a little concerned with his low oxygen and blood pressure levels that would have been caused by his lack of nutrition. They are now at normal levels, but we will continue to monitor them overnight. We should be able to take him off the monitors in the morning.”
Yuki took in the information concerning Shuichi’s health, “I see. Good.”
Dr Nishimura put his hands in his pockets, “How long has Shindou-san reduced his eating?”
Yuki looked at Shuichi, “About four days or so now.”
Dr Nishimura looked at Yuki surprised, “Oh? That recently? He is showing symptoms of severe anorexia nervosa, which normally develops several weeks down the track.”
Yuki looked towards the man, “Shuichi is not anorexic,” he stated defensively.
Dr Nishimura did not look convinced.
Yuki glared at the doctor, “Trust me. I cook all of Shuichi’s meals. He is naturally lithe, but he eats like a horse and has the energy to match. I think that recent…personal events…have caused him to lose his appetite. He has not eaten anything in the last four days.”
Dr Nishimura gave an, “Ah, I see now,” in understanding. “He is going to be a little sore from the minor surgery to his side. There was only minimal penetration from a relatively blunt object. The tissue damage should be mostly healed in around four week’s time and the stitches removed in say, two week’s time.”
Yuki looked down at Shuichi tenderly and stroked his forehead, relieved that the man did not press on for more answers. Shuichi stirred again, this time waking for a moment. He saw his lover standing next to his bed before registering that Yuki was holding onto his hand, “Eiri…”
Yuki’s attention immediately left the doctor and was solely on Shuichi, “Hey, Shu-chan. How are you feeling?”
Shuichi smiled softly, ‘Yuki is here with me, everything will be fine now.’ “I think I am okay…a bit sore…what happened? Why am I in hospital?”
Dr Nishimura merely stared at the boy on the bed. Normally a general anaesthetic would keep a patient under for several hours and he quickly checked Shuichi's hospital notes, confirming that Shuichi was given the correct dosage of anaesthetic.
Yuki sat on the bed next to Shuichi and helped the groggy singer sit up. Shuichi shifted back on the bed too quickly, suddenly crying out in pain and clutching the side of his stomach.
Dr Nishimura was quickly at his side, getting the boy to sit upright and still, “Do be careful Shindou-san; you have only just woken from minor surgery. You had a microphone stand penetrate your side and have stitches. Now get yourself settled and let me check to see that you have not broken any of the stitches.”
Shuichi gingerly settled himself against his pillows before allowing his doctor to check his stitches.
“All intact,” Dr Nishimura announced, “Just be careful not to break them.”
Shuichi thanked the doctor before asking, “Umm…why did a mike stand stab me?”
Yuki answered for the doctor, “Because you passed out from not eating! What the hell were you thinking Shuichi, not eating again. You told me this morning that you would eat when you got to the studio.”
Shuichi ducked his head, “I am sorry Eiri…considering I was so late in the first place and being so close to lunchtime anyway, I thought I would wait until lunch, but we ended up working all the way through. I remember feeling a little dizzy at one point, but that went away and I just continued singing…I was singing so well today, I did not want to stop…but then I suddenly felt really sick and I cannot remember what happened after that but that I woke up here,” was Shuichi’s longwinded explanation.
Dr Nishimura was a little surprised at the young man’s sudden revival of energy, despite the lingering anaesthetic. Looking at the two other men in the room, he noticed neither of them was perturbed and decided that this was the boy’s normal behaviour. “Well, it sounds like you are recovering quite well, Shindou-san. I will have one of the nurses come in and take you off the monitors. You may even be able to go home in the morning.”
“Awesome!” Shuichi exclaimed, “So…when does dinner come? I am kinda really hungry now.”
Dr Nishimura laughed and began writing on Shuichi’s chart, “The trolleys come around at 6:00pm, but I am sure one of the nurses could order something small for you while you wait. Considering you have not been eating lately, just remember to take many small, nutritious meals and avoid as many fats, sugars and strong flavours as possible until your digestive system has healed enough to take less, larger meals.” He put the chart back in its place, “I will be back to see you in the morning.”
Yuki added, “Which means no pocky until you are better.”
Shuichi’s eyes widened and he gasped in indignation, “What? No fair!”
As Shuichi watched the laughing doctor walk out of the room, his attention was brought to the other blonde standing in the room. Calmly, Shuichi started picking at his nails, “Yuki.”
Yuki looked up at his lover, “Yes, Shu-chan?”
“What is he doing here?” Shuichi asked.
Yuki inwardly cringed.
“Get out!” Shuichi turned from Tohma to Yuki, “I do not care if he holds my entire career in his hands…I want him out now!” Shuichi turned back to look at Tohma and interrupted whatever it was his boss had to say, “You have nothing to say to me right now…” Shuichi’s eyes turned murderous, “You touched my lover…Eiri is mine…not yours! You married his sister dammit! You need to stay away from my lover.” Angry tears had formed in Shuichi’s eyes as he glared nastily at Tohma.
Tohma held his ground firm, “Shindou-san, we all need to discuss…”
Shuichi threw his head back in disbelief, “I told you to leave. You are not welcome here! Now get out before I come over there and give you a real reason to rip up my contract!”
When Tohma hesitated and further tried to speak - he really wanted to remain and assist Eiri in at least part of his explanations, he found had no other choice as Shuichi sharply reached around to the bedside hospital cabinet and picked up the nearest projectile object, being a box of tissues. Tohma stood frozen in shock as Shuichi twisted his body around to throw the box, only to drop it and cry out in agony, clutching at his side.
“Shuichi!” Yuki cried out. Yuki had his arms around his younger lover instantly as he gently coxed the distressing vocalist back on to the bed properly.
Tohma could clearly see the increasing blood spot on Shuichi’s robe. “I wish you a quick recovery, Shindou-san…I will fetch the Doctor.” Tohma turned and left the room.
Shuichi’s anguished tears had returned anew and he cried into Yuki’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his lover’s back, “Eiri! It hurts!”
Yuki had one arm wrapped around Shuichi, the other hand pressing on Shuichi’s wound, trying to slow the bleeding down. Yuki had tears running down his face as he hugged his crying lover to him. He knew Shuichi would have reacted badly to seeing Tohma, but maybe not this badly. Yuki drew in a shaky breath. Why did his family have to keep doing things like this? Hadn’t they tried them enough? Yuki quickly decided that it was time his family stopped this charade.
The intern came rushing in and looked over at the bed. Yuki looked up at her and tried to coax Shuichi back onto the bed for her, which was not an easy task. The intern came over and inspected the bleeding wound on Shuichi’s side. “Doctor Nishimura is on his way back down. Looks like you have reopened your wound, Shindou-san…and torn it even further.” She saw Yuki looking down at something on that side of the bed and shifted herself to look, “And upset your IV.”
Shuichi had more blood and IV fluids trickling down his arm as he had jerked both hands to his side when he had torn open his wound, thus shifting the needle and forcing it out of his arm with a small tear.
Doctor Nishimura came striding into the room and examined Shuichi’s injuries, “This will need to be treated in surgery, Shindou-san, as the further wounding will need to be examined for the extent of any internal damage.”
Shuichi’s tears continued to fall and he looked up at Yuki, “I am sorry Eiri! I really am.”
Yuki continued to hold Shuichi around his shoulders and leaned down to kiss his lips, “It will be okay, Shuichi. I promise.” Yuki closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Shuichi’s, his own slow tears falling onto Shuichi’s face.
The intern had since run out of the room and back in carrying a surgical consent form, which Shuichi shakily signed. A team of nursing staff who started compression on Shuichi’s wound and prepared him for the surgery followed her.
In the haste, Yuki had moved back and away from his lover’s side. Doctor Nishimura looked over to him, “It is a very simple procedure and we will have him back to you in no time.” After that, the doctor left the room.
As Shuichi was wheeled out of the room voicing how much he loved Yuki, Tohma slipped back into the room and looked over to Yuki, the dishevelled state of the tall man alarming him. Yuki stood in the room with slumped shoulders and a pale, tear-stained face. Traces of blood were on his shirt and his hands had blood all over them. Tohma quickly approached Yuki, “Eiri-san! Where are they taking him?”
Yuki blinked tears away from his eyes, “To theatre…he tore open his wound and made it worse…and now they have to operate on him again…” Yuki looked down at his hands, “This is Shuichi’s blood,” Yuki paused for a moment and burst into tears, “I have my lover’s blood on my hands!”
Tohma guided Yuki into the en suite and gently helped his suffering brother-in-law wash the blood off his hands. Tohma then helped Yuki back into the room to sit in the provided chairs.
Yuki had calmed down considerably, but was still miserable, “You know, I have never physically hurt him and I still get his blood on my hands…just like before-”
Tohma had to cut Yuki off immediately, “This is not just like before Eiri-san and please do not ever think it is.”
Before Yuki had the chance to come up with a retort, they were interrupted by a small commotion outside, namely Nakano Hiroshi demanding to know where Shuichi was. A mere five seconds later, Hiro appeared at the door, stopped, and stared at the room’s occupants, “How the hell did you get here before me? I am on a bike…I can legally overtake like there is no tomorrow.”
Yuki simply looked back at the guitarist with his eyebrow raised, who took the response as a ‘don’t ask a stupid question’.
Hiro looked around the room, “Where is he anyway? Is he still in surgery?”
Yuki scoffed bitterly, “Still? Try ‘again’.”
Hiro could not believe his ears, “Wait…again? Why again?” he then saw the blood stains on Yuki’s shirt, “Is that…is that Shuichi’s blood? What the hell happened?” he demanded, his voice gaining volume quickly.
Tohma answered for Yuki, “When Shindou-san woke up from his initial surgery, he managed to tear his stitches…”
Yuki growled, “Well no wonder, Seguchi! I told you in the car that I did not know how Shuichi would act when he saw you!”
Tohma looked at Yuki unimpressed. “Eiri-san, as you said, neither of us knew or expected such a strong…”
Neither of them noticed the temperature in the room had dropped rapidly and that Hiro had the darkest expression on his face when he cut off their little bickering-match, “What the hell is going on here? Clearly this whole thing has to do with Shuichi’s mood over the last few days,” he was looking darkly between them both, “I do not know the details; Shuichi felt that he could not confide in me this time and that is extremely upsetting enough. But I do know Shuichi well enough to read him like a book and I know it has something to do with the both of you.”
Tohma stood, “I need to make a few calls to N-G. Please excuse me. Eiri-san, Nakano-san,” he said, leaving the room before he fired the guitarist for his insolence as a reflex. Today had probably been one of the worst days Tohma had to deal with since that day in New York when he found Eiri. Whether Hiro was right or not, he stepped out to clear his head for a few minutes.
When Yuki failed to respond, Hiro continued, “Look, I really do not care what happened, just stop hurting Shuichi! Yuki-san, I asked you to look after him and now he is in surgery in hospital! What is going on in your relationship, Yuki-san? Whatever it is, it is clearly hurting Shuichi.” Hiro took the now vacant seat and sighed deeply.
Yuki stepped out of his silence, “I am sorry he could not confide in you with this, but Shuichi and I are working it out. Just know that we are not splitting up.”
Hiro had shifted so he had his hands folded behind his head, he turned slightly to glance at the crestfallen novelist, “Well, I suppose that is a good thing. Come on man, grow a pair and stop all this fucking drama; not only the people around you both cannot stand it, but look at how Shuichi has been affected this time.”
Several moments later, Yuki said, “When he is over the surgery, I am taking him away for a while, to recover and get settled again.”
Hiro nodded next to him, “That is the best comment I have heard come from you since I met you.”
The two men sat in silence as they waited for Shuichi to be returned to them, Tohma being the only interruption carrying three coffees and a small bite to eat.
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Okay, hands up who saw that coming? Hehe
Please leave a review to let me know you still love me!
KittenCeez
xMeowx
Summary: Shuichi was given something Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Gravitation, though I wish I did. But I just have to live with my ever increasing Gravitation collection.
Rating: R - Content, Language, Adult Themes
A/N:
Based on the Gravitation Megamix Panda. I believe I have covered enough in the body of the story for you if you have not read it, but still go and find and read it. It gives a deeper look into Yuki’s past and his trauma.
A/N2:
Thank you for your reviews! They are much appreciated and I love them!
Chapter 3 certainly generated the response I was expecting. It is true that any normal person would not forgive such a thing ever happening, but this is Shuichi we are talking about…he has a habit of forgiving everything Yuki does. From the reader’s point of view, it can be upsetting to see Shuichi put himself through all of this, but I find when it is just Shuichi and Yuki on their own, working through their problems together; everything feels right with the world. However, when other people involve themselves, such as Hiro, Tohma, Mika…even Ryuichi…everything goes to pieces and I start to get steamed. I just want to jump in the manga/anime/fics and tell everyone to go away and leave the couple alone in not so nice words, haha!
I think this chapter will answer some questions and create more. I hope you all enjoy it, especially after this ridiculous wait!
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Chapter 4
Yuki woke with Shuichi still curled up in his arms and a firm, cat-like grip on his arms that surrounded Shuichi's body. It was as if they had not shifted at all during the night and it felt like it too. Yuki’s muscles were heavy and stiff, and he took a moment to stretch his back and legs. He looked over Shuichi and could see the dry track marks along Shuichi's cheeks where his lover had been crying overnight. Yuki was uncertain if Shuichi had been awake or crying in his sleep and a sharp pang drove through his chest. He knew that he was the cause of Shuichi's tears (although, it was rare for him not to be the cause of them) and he pulled Shuichi tighter into his arms, holding his lover to him and eventually falling back to sleep.
Some time later, Yuki woke to Shuichi wriggling in his arms. He groaned when he heard the phone ringing and vowed to disconnect the thing, permanently, “Ignore it Shu-chan…It has already rung this morning.”
Shuichi kissed Yuki on the cheek, “Well, if it is ringing again, it must be important. Let me up.”
Yuki reluctantly let Shuichi out of his grasp so he could reach the telephone. Shuichi finally answered the phone, albeit groggily, “Moshi moshi…oh morning Hiro!”
“Yo Shuichi! I called your parents house earlier to see if you were up for coming into the studio today, but since you are back at home, K is already on his way to pick you up. I thought I would give you the heads up,” Hiro explained over the phone.
Shuichi yawned, “Yeah, I came back home last night…what time is it…EE-YAH! It is 10:30am!” Then it registered that K was coming to get him, “How long ago did he leave?” Shuichi asked urgently.
“Um, about…five minutes ago. I will catch you when you get here.” Hiro then hung up.
Shuichi had hardly put the phone back down before he was up and running for the bathroom, diving into the shower.
‘What the hell,’ Yuki thought as he dragged himself out of the nice warm bed and threw on his yukata. He leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom while Shuichi speedily showered, “What are you doing?”
Shuichi poked his shampooed head out of the shower door, “K will be here any minute!”
Yuki sighed, “Do you have to go to work today?” Yuki would have preferred to spend the day with Shuichi. He had just gotten him back. They had a lot that they needed to do; buy a new mattress, Yuki now needed some new clothes, the pantry was almost empty, Yuki would not even bother looking in the fridge, and they had a month’s worth of intimate bonding to catch up on…and Yuki needed to find some time to talk to Shuichi.
Shuichi had ducked his head back under the water, “If I was not needed K would not be on his way here.”
Yuki was still unimpressed, “What the hell is so important that it cannot wait one more day? You have just come back from a tour!”
Shuichi had conditioner in his hair and was scrubbing his body with his favourite soap, “We started putting bits and pieces of a new album together while we had some spare time. Complain to your brother-in-law if you want me to have more time off.”
“Oh I will!” vowed Yuki.
Shuichi poked his head out to see his lover leaning against the sink next to the shower with his arms folded and an annoyed scowl on his face. Shuichi smiled, “Hey…”
Yuki looked at Shuichi who leaned forward to kiss him.
“Love you,” Shuichi told him and stole another kiss before going back to his shower.
Yuki’s annoyance generally dissipated when Shuichi showed him that he loved him. Yuki smirked before taking up his previous scowl and poked his head into Shuichi’s shower, also admiring the damage his hands had done to his lover’s body the night before. He was certain he had similar scratches and bite marks to show, “Oi! Hurry up and brush your damn teeth! You have morning breath!”
Shuichi turned around to poke his tongue out at Yuki and went back to finishing his shower.
Yuki sighed and headed into the kitchen to begin his morning ritual; coffee, cigarette, food, more coffee, another cigarette, shower, dress, and another cigarette before retreating to the study with a can of beer. It was like clockwork, although when the ritual began depended on when he felt like getting up.
After making his coffee and lighting his cigarette, Yuki began making a basic breakfast of toast and sliced fruits while listening to the music of his lover rushing to get ready. Honestly, it was a comedy-musical in itself. The overture consisted of Shuichi’s shower followed by the first act of Shuichi drying his body and running around finding his clothing for the day. The second act followed consisting of a rather hilarious display of Shuichi rushing to get dressed. There was always a drama of losing one item or another, usually a sock and the dance routine with the hopping, stumbling and falling steps. The build up to the grand finale was Shuichi doing his hair. Yuki believed that if he could, he would even pay money to see when Shuichi declared that he was having a ‘bad hair day’. The grand finale was when a clean, tidy and fully dressed Shuichi made his entrance into the kitchen to wolf down his breakfast. Shuichi would then make his loud exit from the stage receiving a farewell from his audience member and head off to work. Every now and again, there would be an encore with the little idiot forgetting something.
Yuki had started nibbling on his breakfast when Shuichi made his grand entrance all clean, tidy and fully dressed. Too often this was when the big bad gun-wielding villain of the musical appeared explosively on the stage and literally dragged Shuichi out of the door and today was no different.
Shuichi was about to follow K out of the apartment when Yuki spoke up, “Hold on a moment Winchester.”
K let his assault rifle rest on his shoulder as the tall American looked down at Yuki. Shuichi turned to Yuki and looked up at him.
“You still have not eaten anything.”
Wanting to avoid a K/Yuki confrontation, Shuichi cut in, “I am okay though, I will get something at the studio, okay?” Shuichi kissed Yuki on the cheek before heading out the door, “I love you Yuki!”
“Hn,” Yuki grumbled in reply before adding, “Oi, I will pick you up today. 5pm.”
Yuki’s reply was a flying Shuichi barrelling into him in a tight glomp, “Yay! Yuki loves me!” Shuichi declared for the neighbours to hear.
Yuki rolled his eyes, “Whatever, just quit it with the mush brat! Now get off!”
Shuichi was pulled off Yuki’s body by his manager’s strong grip on the back of his clothing. Instantly Shuichi’s hysterics began as he cried, “IwannastaywithYuki!” again for the neighbours to hear.
K’s grip on the flailing pink-haired idiot did not falter as he held up his assault rifle, “Have you two met?”
Shuichi’s wailing and flailing limbs came to a grinding halt and with slumped shoulders, he dragged his feet out of the apartment door. Yuki closed the door and secured the locks, letting a small smile free as he retreated to the quiet of his study intent on doing some writing before he had to go to N-G.
After intermittently typing for a little over an hour, Yuki decided his current novel idea was not going anywhere. All that the budding novelist had managed during Shuichi’s days away were twenty pages of random scenes and only two of them he had managed to fit together. Instead of sitting around and glaring at the passages of text in an attempt to coerce the ideas together, Yuki called his editor and, after she had gotten over the shock of him being the one to call her, they came up with a plan for Yuki to write several short stories as an alternative.
Yuki was pleased with this suggestion and began editing and rearranging his current work. When Yuki finally sat back from his laptop to stretch and take a break, he found it was already 3:30pm.
“Shit!” Yuki cried to himself and saved his work before rushing into the bathroom to shower and get ready. He was ready to leave twenty minutes later throwing on his sunglasses, picking up his keys and heading out the door.
It seemed the traffic knew he was out to get his brother-in-law as it took Yuki twice as long to get to the N-G building as it normally did. Yuki felt a headache coming on and took a couple of headache tablets before getting out of his car. Yuki sometimes loathed his celebrity status at having his life documented by the media but at times, he loved it. He never had problems getting through the security and reception area of N-G’s ground floor and simply walked through as if he owned the place. Upon reaching the top floor, he walked up to Tohma’s office, ignored his protesting secretary, threw open the doors and strode into the room, “Seguchi!”
Tohma sat at his desk reading over several band schedules and after jumping a mile high in his chair at the bursting intrusion, looked up in surprise when Yuki exploded into his office with no announcement other than the bellowing of his name. After he had picked up his lost papers and his heart rate had slowed back down, Tohma looked behind Yuki to his apologetically bowing secretary and waved to her that it was all right before she quickly closed his office doors.
“Eiri-san. What are you doing here?” Tohma enquired.
“Give me one damn good reason why I should not rip you apart with my bare hands!” Yuki yelled approaching the desk menacingly.
Tohma blinked, “What in the world are you talking about, Eiri-san?”
Yuki was plainly furious, “Do not give me that shit Seguchi! What the fuck were you thinking when you sent Shuichi that fucking tape?”
Tohma continued to stare at Yuki, still having no idea what the taller man was on about, “Tape? What tape? Eiri-san, I have not sent Shindou-san anything. The closest things to me sending him mail are his payslips and they come from my accounting department. Now please sit down and tell me what has happened.”
Yuki did not know what to do with himself. He was so angry, but he knew Seguchi well enough to know when the man was telling the truth, and he was definitely telling the truth this time. Yuki silently took a seat in one of the desk chairs, “Shuichi…he…found out.”
Tohma started to think what it could have been that Shuichi knew about. He had one idea and hoped he was wrong, “What did he find out about, Eiri-san?”
Yuki continued with his head down, refusing to meet Tohma’s piercing gaze, “Someone sent him a copy of the tape you took…last time I called you and Tatsuha…”
Tohma cringed visibly, “I see.”
Since the unstable beginnings of Yuki’s relationship with Shuichi, Yuki had only called upon Tohma for his help twice, whereas before meeting Shuichi, Yuki would slip into that dark, submissive personality on a frequent basis. Tohma would never deny that he had enjoyed these visits, especially since his physical relationship with his wife was never a regular or altering thing. Now that she was surprisingly pregnant, he had taken Yuki’s latest slump eagerly and lengthily.
Both of Yuki’s slumps had pivoted around Shuichi being away on tour, indicating to the veteran synth player that Yuki’s mentality was now centred on his younger lover. Tohma loved having Yuki depend on him just that little bit, and would admit to being jealous that Shuichi had captured Yuki’s heart so deeply and so quickly. Whether Yuki acted like it or not, Shuichi was good for him and Tohma silently respected the kid for it.
Yuki cut Tohma from his thoughts, “So why would Tatsuha do this then? What does he have to gain from this?”
Tohma sat back and thought for a moment, but drawing a blank, “I am sorry, Eiri-san, I cannot answer that one for you.” Tohma was starting to inwardly get angry at the younger Uesugi and was going to approach Tatsuha before Yuki did, other wise the kid would not live through their meeting.
Yuki stood up and continued his fitful rage, “This has nearly cost me my relationship! You have no idea how close he was to walking out on me! I would have lost him!”
Tohma looked at Yuki straight in the eye, “However you have not, have you?”
“Thankfully no,” Yuki gritted out. He paused for a moment before setting off again, eyes blazing at his way too calm brother-in-law, “Fuck, Seguchi! Do you have any idea what that tape did to him?”
Tohma looked at Yuki assuredly, “I am sure it shocked the life out of him and threw him into a complete tailspin.”
Yuki latched on to the back of the chair in front of him in a tight enough grip to rip the upholstery if he had sharp enough nails, “No shit! He has spent the last four days in utter misery, not to mention starving himself, because he thought I had blatantly cheated on him!”
“Well, I am sorry to say, but you have, Eiri-san,” Tohma told him outright, “Though not with me or Tatsuha-kun.” Tohma spun his desk chair around to stand up and came around the desk to stand before Yuki. Yuki’s warning eyes and coiled stance didn’t do a thing to stop him putting his hand up to touch Yuki’s cheek, “Your eyes did not see either of us that day, but Kitazawa-san.”
Yuki took in a shocked breath and was about to vehemently protest when he admitted to himself that Seguchi was right.
Tohma took hold of Yuki’s arm and led the novelist over to sit on the couch, propping himself on the coffee table in front of it and took hold of Yuki’s hands, “It is time you told Shindou-san everything about your past and Kitazawa-san; let Shuichi be the one to heal you now, completely. That ‘eternal, unfulfilled promise’ of Kitazawa’s you get yourself lost in, lies in the grave with Kitazawa, not in Shuichi’s heart.”
Yuki had tears in his eyes and he looked away from Tohma, “I never wanted him to know…”
Tohma placed his hand on Yuki’s shoulder, “I know, Eiri-san, and we will figure out how this happened and what to do.”
Yuki had always been ashamed of his psychological slumps that lead to him using his brother and brother-in-law, calling himself the worst human being and he never wanted Shuichi to ever see him this way; Shuichi had seen enough of his bad sides. Tohma ignored his telephone ringing in the background, having noticed the sounds of a helicopter landing on the roof of the building above him, but too occupied to enquire why.
Yuki wiped at his eyes, “I nearly lost him Seguchi, and not just like one of our arguments, I mean really lost him…and I cannot lose him…”
When the telephone ringing cut off, there was a timid knock on the door. Tohma raised his eyebrow and went to open the door. His secretary stepped in and bowed before himself and Yuki.
“I apologise for the interruption, Seguchi-sama, but you told me to interrupt you with any emergencies.”
Tohma mentally kicked himself for ignoring his secretary when she told him it was for an emergency, finally waking up to the fact that a helicopter had landed on his building roof, “I do apologise…what has happened?”
“Shindou-san collapsed during recording and has been taken to St Luke’s International Hospital. K-san organised a helicopter to take him.”
Not one second later than she had finished her sentence, Yuki was already out the door.
Yuki was about to give up on the elevator and make for the steps when Tohma caught up with him, “You are coming, are you?”
Tohma stepped into the elevator and nodded as he slipped his suit jacket on, “Of course.”
Yuki tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator took them down to the ground floor. A poor, unsuspecting sole was blasted for also trying to use the same elevator, “TAKE THE NEXT ONE DAMMIT!”
Tohma made a mental note to apologise to that employee later.
Yuki and Tohma made their way through the gathered employees on the ground floor that had stopped to chat about Shuichi’s grand exit. Hiro, Suguru and K were about to walk out the main doors when they caught up with them.
Yuki called out to Hiro, “Oi! Nakano! What the hell happened?”
Hiro stopped his frantic digging for his keys to his motorcycle and turned around to speak to the novelist, “Hey Yuki-san. We do not know what was wrong with him; one minute he was belting out tunes and rocking around in the recording booth, the next he was passed out on the floor. But the mike stand fell with him and it folded, part of it stabbed his side…the ambulance officers said it only…where the hell are my keys? …went in about an inch so there should not be any major damage…” Hiro was about to tip his bag contents on the concrete floor when he finally heard the jingle of his keys.
Suguru was looking a little pale and Sakano was doing what he did best: running around panicking. K put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, “It is not your fault…really. You had no way of knowing.”
Suguru gave K an incredulous look as he felt, rather than saw, Yuki’s eyes boring holes into his person right now.
Yuki stared down at the young boy, “Come again?”
Suguru stood up a little straighter and turned to face one irate Yuki, “We all skipped lunch today. We had all been too immersed in the tracks we were working on to notice the time, and Shuichi had been more energetic than I have ever seen him in the recording booth. I said to him ‘for once you might run out of energy’ and fifteen minutes later he was lying on the ground!” Suguru had become hysterical towards the end of his speech. Superstitious and supernatural happenings always freaked him out.
Yuki got the picture as to what had happened with Shuichi, “So he has not eaten…all day?”
Hiro shook his head, “Nope, neither of us have.”
Yuki flicked the ash off his cigarette before swinging around and punching K square on the cheekbone, “I told you this morning that he had not eaten yet! Did either of you notice how thin he has become since your tour ended?”
Tohma grabbed hold of Yuki’s arm before it swung into K’s face again, “Eiri-san! Stop this! Shindou-san will most likely be in the Hospital by now…we should get moving…”
Hiro had a very strong hold of K’s arms to keep the keen gunman from retaliating. Now that he had been alerted to it, he woke up to the fact that Shuichi did seem thinner than normal and further realised something else, “Yuki-san, when you say he has not eaten, has he eaten at all since he left us in Hiroshima?”
Yuki shrugged Tohma off him, “Apparently not.”
Hiro was shocked and let it show on his face, “That was like…two days ago! And even then he had not eaten much!”
Yuki was really gagging to let all his pent up anger out at someone and K was good enough. However, he receded and followed Tohma to his parked car. Tohma tried to convince Yuki to let him drive instead, but was given a “Drop dead,” as Yuki got into his driver’s seat; no one drives Yuki’s car but Yuki. Tohma sighed and hopped in the passenger seat, telling Yuki to keep calm and drive safely. He was certain Shuichi did not want his partner lying in a hospital bed next to him.
During the drive, Yuki addressed Tohma, keeping his eyes on the road, “Look…Shuichi is really cut up right now…he was not exactly happy to see me yesterday, I do not know how he will react when he sees you.”
Tohma nodded, “I understand, Eiri-san.”
Yuki took Tohma’s earlier words and used them well; they got there safely enough, though not as much could be said about the car of the ‘lane-hogging moron of a bastard whore’ who tried to cut Yuki off in his efforts to get to Shuichi. That driver mysteriously lost control and ended up driving off the road into a ditch. Yuki rushed through the hospital grounds to the emergency ward. He fidgeted impatiently while waiting in line to enquire about Shuichi’s whereabouts as Tohma would not let him go look for Shuichi himself. When his turn finally came, the clerk, who instantly recognised them, instructed Yuki that Shuichi had been admitted and were given the floor and ward to find him on.
Yuki rushed off to the elevators at the main entrance with Tohma following behind him. They walked up to the nurse’s station were greeted by a young male nurse.
“I am here to see Shindou Shuichi,” Yuki told him.
The nurse looked up at Yuki before asking, “Can I have your name and relation to Shindou-san? Only relatives are allowed to see him.”
Yuki just blinked, about to snap at the kid before the intern behind the young nurse interrupted him.
“What planet have you been living on? This is Yuki Eiri and Seguchi Tohma,” she scolded with a smile, before calmly writing down Yuki and Tohma’s details and handed them their security passes for Shuichi’s room. Absolutely no recognition had passed over this kid’s face as the intern gave their names and Yuki agreed that this kid had not been living on planet Earth.
The nurse tried to disguise his impatient sigh as he went to do a round of the ward. The intern sniggered, “That nurse has only been out of Medical School for three months, he tries really hard but needs to learn some people skills. Anyway, Dr Nishimura is looking after Shindou-san. His side wound has only just been cleaned up and stitched under general anaesthetic so he should still be under. The doctors got to him quickly. Thankfully, there was minimal damage so the procedure was quite quick. Shindou-san was still asleep when I checked on him ten minutes ago, but I can page the Doctor for you now, if you would like.”
Yuki shook his head, just wanting to go to Shuichi’s room, “Not right now, thank you. I just want to see him.”
The intern smiled and gave them the number and directions to Shuichi’s room. At least the security guard posted near the door recognised him. Yuki was not prepared for the sight that greeted him as he opened the door.
Shuichi was lying on his back with tubes and wires coming from his body. A drip had been placed in his left arm and an oxygen mask rested on the bed next to him, clearly having been used. Shuichi was also hooked up to a heart monitor.
Yuki’s heart jumped, ‘What the hell is he hooked up to a heart monitor for!?’ Yuki took in Shuichi’s appearance. His face was hollow, showing his protruding cheekbones. The skin that covered them was pale and his darkened eyes made it look like he was on his deathbed. Yuki was trembling at the sight of his lover.
Tohma walked in behind Yuki and gasped at the sight of Shuichi. Perhaps the kid was in worse health than he had thought. Tohma put his hand on Yuki’s shoulder and left the room to ask the intern to call Shuichi’s doctor after all, leaving Yuki to spend time with Shuichi on his own.
Yuki stepped up to the bed and took Shuichi’s hand, trying to hold back his forming tears. He had hospitalised and killed many of his characters, putting them through their emotional paces. It was true that nothing prepares you for the real thing.
Yuki bent down and softly kissed Shuichi’s dry lips, “You baka,” he whispered.
Shuichi stirred a little and murmured Yuki’s name before slipping back into the rhythm of sleep. Yuki was relieved, as this often proved to be a good sign.
Tohma returned with Shuichi’s treating doctor soon after. Yuki turned to the man, not letting go of Shuichi’s hand and looked at the man expectantly. Dr Nishimura gave a small smile, “Shindou-san will be fine. He is resting now. We were a little concerned with his low oxygen and blood pressure levels that would have been caused by his lack of nutrition. They are now at normal levels, but we will continue to monitor them overnight. We should be able to take him off the monitors in the morning.”
Yuki took in the information concerning Shuichi’s health, “I see. Good.”
Dr Nishimura put his hands in his pockets, “How long has Shindou-san reduced his eating?”
Yuki looked at Shuichi, “About four days or so now.”
Dr Nishimura looked at Yuki surprised, “Oh? That recently? He is showing symptoms of severe anorexia nervosa, which normally develops several weeks down the track.”
Yuki looked towards the man, “Shuichi is not anorexic,” he stated defensively.
Dr Nishimura did not look convinced.
Yuki glared at the doctor, “Trust me. I cook all of Shuichi’s meals. He is naturally lithe, but he eats like a horse and has the energy to match. I think that recent…personal events…have caused him to lose his appetite. He has not eaten anything in the last four days.”
Dr Nishimura gave an, “Ah, I see now,” in understanding. “He is going to be a little sore from the minor surgery to his side. There was only minimal penetration from a relatively blunt object. The tissue damage should be mostly healed in around four week’s time and the stitches removed in say, two week’s time.”
Yuki looked down at Shuichi tenderly and stroked his forehead, relieved that the man did not press on for more answers. Shuichi stirred again, this time waking for a moment. He saw his lover standing next to his bed before registering that Yuki was holding onto his hand, “Eiri…”
Yuki’s attention immediately left the doctor and was solely on Shuichi, “Hey, Shu-chan. How are you feeling?”
Shuichi smiled softly, ‘Yuki is here with me, everything will be fine now.’ “I think I am okay…a bit sore…what happened? Why am I in hospital?”
Dr Nishimura merely stared at the boy on the bed. Normally a general anaesthetic would keep a patient under for several hours and he quickly checked Shuichi's hospital notes, confirming that Shuichi was given the correct dosage of anaesthetic.
Yuki sat on the bed next to Shuichi and helped the groggy singer sit up. Shuichi shifted back on the bed too quickly, suddenly crying out in pain and clutching the side of his stomach.
Dr Nishimura was quickly at his side, getting the boy to sit upright and still, “Do be careful Shindou-san; you have only just woken from minor surgery. You had a microphone stand penetrate your side and have stitches. Now get yourself settled and let me check to see that you have not broken any of the stitches.”
Shuichi gingerly settled himself against his pillows before allowing his doctor to check his stitches.
“All intact,” Dr Nishimura announced, “Just be careful not to break them.”
Shuichi thanked the doctor before asking, “Umm…why did a mike stand stab me?”
Yuki answered for the doctor, “Because you passed out from not eating! What the hell were you thinking Shuichi, not eating again. You told me this morning that you would eat when you got to the studio.”
Shuichi ducked his head, “I am sorry Eiri…considering I was so late in the first place and being so close to lunchtime anyway, I thought I would wait until lunch, but we ended up working all the way through. I remember feeling a little dizzy at one point, but that went away and I just continued singing…I was singing so well today, I did not want to stop…but then I suddenly felt really sick and I cannot remember what happened after that but that I woke up here,” was Shuichi’s longwinded explanation.
Dr Nishimura was a little surprised at the young man’s sudden revival of energy, despite the lingering anaesthetic. Looking at the two other men in the room, he noticed neither of them was perturbed and decided that this was the boy’s normal behaviour. “Well, it sounds like you are recovering quite well, Shindou-san. I will have one of the nurses come in and take you off the monitors. You may even be able to go home in the morning.”
“Awesome!” Shuichi exclaimed, “So…when does dinner come? I am kinda really hungry now.”
Dr Nishimura laughed and began writing on Shuichi’s chart, “The trolleys come around at 6:00pm, but I am sure one of the nurses could order something small for you while you wait. Considering you have not been eating lately, just remember to take many small, nutritious meals and avoid as many fats, sugars and strong flavours as possible until your digestive system has healed enough to take less, larger meals.” He put the chart back in its place, “I will be back to see you in the morning.”
Yuki added, “Which means no pocky until you are better.”
Shuichi’s eyes widened and he gasped in indignation, “What? No fair!”
As Shuichi watched the laughing doctor walk out of the room, his attention was brought to the other blonde standing in the room. Calmly, Shuichi started picking at his nails, “Yuki.”
Yuki looked up at his lover, “Yes, Shu-chan?”
“What is he doing here?” Shuichi asked.
Yuki inwardly cringed.
“Get out!” Shuichi turned from Tohma to Yuki, “I do not care if he holds my entire career in his hands…I want him out now!” Shuichi turned back to look at Tohma and interrupted whatever it was his boss had to say, “You have nothing to say to me right now…” Shuichi’s eyes turned murderous, “You touched my lover…Eiri is mine…not yours! You married his sister dammit! You need to stay away from my lover.” Angry tears had formed in Shuichi’s eyes as he glared nastily at Tohma.
Tohma held his ground firm, “Shindou-san, we all need to discuss…”
Shuichi threw his head back in disbelief, “I told you to leave. You are not welcome here! Now get out before I come over there and give you a real reason to rip up my contract!”
When Tohma hesitated and further tried to speak - he really wanted to remain and assist Eiri in at least part of his explanations, he found had no other choice as Shuichi sharply reached around to the bedside hospital cabinet and picked up the nearest projectile object, being a box of tissues. Tohma stood frozen in shock as Shuichi twisted his body around to throw the box, only to drop it and cry out in agony, clutching at his side.
“Shuichi!” Yuki cried out. Yuki had his arms around his younger lover instantly as he gently coxed the distressing vocalist back on to the bed properly.
Tohma could clearly see the increasing blood spot on Shuichi’s robe. “I wish you a quick recovery, Shindou-san…I will fetch the Doctor.” Tohma turned and left the room.
Shuichi’s anguished tears had returned anew and he cried into Yuki’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his lover’s back, “Eiri! It hurts!”
Yuki had one arm wrapped around Shuichi, the other hand pressing on Shuichi’s wound, trying to slow the bleeding down. Yuki had tears running down his face as he hugged his crying lover to him. He knew Shuichi would have reacted badly to seeing Tohma, but maybe not this badly. Yuki drew in a shaky breath. Why did his family have to keep doing things like this? Hadn’t they tried them enough? Yuki quickly decided that it was time his family stopped this charade.
The intern came rushing in and looked over at the bed. Yuki looked up at her and tried to coax Shuichi back onto the bed for her, which was not an easy task. The intern came over and inspected the bleeding wound on Shuichi’s side. “Doctor Nishimura is on his way back down. Looks like you have reopened your wound, Shindou-san…and torn it even further.” She saw Yuki looking down at something on that side of the bed and shifted herself to look, “And upset your IV.”
Shuichi had more blood and IV fluids trickling down his arm as he had jerked both hands to his side when he had torn open his wound, thus shifting the needle and forcing it out of his arm with a small tear.
Doctor Nishimura came striding into the room and examined Shuichi’s injuries, “This will need to be treated in surgery, Shindou-san, as the further wounding will need to be examined for the extent of any internal damage.”
Shuichi’s tears continued to fall and he looked up at Yuki, “I am sorry Eiri! I really am.”
Yuki continued to hold Shuichi around his shoulders and leaned down to kiss his lips, “It will be okay, Shuichi. I promise.” Yuki closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Shuichi’s, his own slow tears falling onto Shuichi’s face.
The intern had since run out of the room and back in carrying a surgical consent form, which Shuichi shakily signed. A team of nursing staff who started compression on Shuichi’s wound and prepared him for the surgery followed her.
In the haste, Yuki had moved back and away from his lover’s side. Doctor Nishimura looked over to him, “It is a very simple procedure and we will have him back to you in no time.” After that, the doctor left the room.
As Shuichi was wheeled out of the room voicing how much he loved Yuki, Tohma slipped back into the room and looked over to Yuki, the dishevelled state of the tall man alarming him. Yuki stood in the room with slumped shoulders and a pale, tear-stained face. Traces of blood were on his shirt and his hands had blood all over them. Tohma quickly approached Yuki, “Eiri-san! Where are they taking him?”
Yuki blinked tears away from his eyes, “To theatre…he tore open his wound and made it worse…and now they have to operate on him again…” Yuki looked down at his hands, “This is Shuichi’s blood,” Yuki paused for a moment and burst into tears, “I have my lover’s blood on my hands!”
Tohma guided Yuki into the en suite and gently helped his suffering brother-in-law wash the blood off his hands. Tohma then helped Yuki back into the room to sit in the provided chairs.
Yuki had calmed down considerably, but was still miserable, “You know, I have never physically hurt him and I still get his blood on my hands…just like before-”
Tohma had to cut Yuki off immediately, “This is not just like before Eiri-san and please do not ever think it is.”
Before Yuki had the chance to come up with a retort, they were interrupted by a small commotion outside, namely Nakano Hiroshi demanding to know where Shuichi was. A mere five seconds later, Hiro appeared at the door, stopped, and stared at the room’s occupants, “How the hell did you get here before me? I am on a bike…I can legally overtake like there is no tomorrow.”
Yuki simply looked back at the guitarist with his eyebrow raised, who took the response as a ‘don’t ask a stupid question’.
Hiro looked around the room, “Where is he anyway? Is he still in surgery?”
Yuki scoffed bitterly, “Still? Try ‘again’.”
Hiro could not believe his ears, “Wait…again? Why again?” he then saw the blood stains on Yuki’s shirt, “Is that…is that Shuichi’s blood? What the hell happened?” he demanded, his voice gaining volume quickly.
Tohma answered for Yuki, “When Shindou-san woke up from his initial surgery, he managed to tear his stitches…”
Yuki growled, “Well no wonder, Seguchi! I told you in the car that I did not know how Shuichi would act when he saw you!”
Tohma looked at Yuki unimpressed. “Eiri-san, as you said, neither of us knew or expected such a strong…”
Neither of them noticed the temperature in the room had dropped rapidly and that Hiro had the darkest expression on his face when he cut off their little bickering-match, “What the hell is going on here? Clearly this whole thing has to do with Shuichi’s mood over the last few days,” he was looking darkly between them both, “I do not know the details; Shuichi felt that he could not confide in me this time and that is extremely upsetting enough. But I do know Shuichi well enough to read him like a book and I know it has something to do with the both of you.”
Tohma stood, “I need to make a few calls to N-G. Please excuse me. Eiri-san, Nakano-san,” he said, leaving the room before he fired the guitarist for his insolence as a reflex. Today had probably been one of the worst days Tohma had to deal with since that day in New York when he found Eiri. Whether Hiro was right or not, he stepped out to clear his head for a few minutes.
When Yuki failed to respond, Hiro continued, “Look, I really do not care what happened, just stop hurting Shuichi! Yuki-san, I asked you to look after him and now he is in surgery in hospital! What is going on in your relationship, Yuki-san? Whatever it is, it is clearly hurting Shuichi.” Hiro took the now vacant seat and sighed deeply.
Yuki stepped out of his silence, “I am sorry he could not confide in you with this, but Shuichi and I are working it out. Just know that we are not splitting up.”
Hiro had shifted so he had his hands folded behind his head, he turned slightly to glance at the crestfallen novelist, “Well, I suppose that is a good thing. Come on man, grow a pair and stop all this fucking drama; not only the people around you both cannot stand it, but look at how Shuichi has been affected this time.”
Several moments later, Yuki said, “When he is over the surgery, I am taking him away for a while, to recover and get settled again.”
Hiro nodded next to him, “That is the best comment I have heard come from you since I met you.”
The two men sat in silence as they waited for Shuichi to be returned to them, Tohma being the only interruption carrying three coffees and a small bite to eat.
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Okay, hands up who saw that coming? Hehe
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KittenCeez
xMeowx
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