Categories > Anime/Manga > Gravitation > My Lover, My Darkness
My Lover, My Darkness
Summary: Shuichi was given something Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Gravitation, though I wish I did. But I just have to live with my ever increasing Gravitation collection.
Rating: R - Content, Language, Adult Themes
A/N: Based on the Gravitation Megamix Panda. I believe I have covered enough in the body of the story for you if you have not read it, but still go and find and read it. It gives a deeper look into Yuki’s past and his trauma.
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Chapter 3
Yuki and Shuichi’s mother hurried out of the kitchen and found Maiko picking up broken pieces of porcelain.
“Excuse me please,” Yuki said and stepped over Maiko quickly making his way upstairs.
Shuichi was pacing frantically. Yuki would have found out he was home with his whirlwind entrance. He did not want to see Yuki! At all! Shuichi forced himself to stop and think, “Come on, Shuichi! Focus…wallet, just grab that and go!”
Shuichi looked around his room for a moment before remembering his wallet was downstairs on the hall cabinet by the door. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and his mind started to blur until he saw his bedroom window. He made a dash for it, wrenching it open and climbing out with well-practised ease (his mother didn’t think he was a teenaged delinquent for nothing). Shuichi was about to swing off the veranda roof when he saw a flash of blonde in his window.
Yuki hurried upstairs and to Shuichi’s room. Stepping inside, Yuki took in the mess; papers were everywhere, his Nittle Grasper video collection was overturned, the bed sheets were all over the floor and instead of Shuichi unpacking his suitcases, the contents were simply spilling out of them. Shuichi was nowhere to be found in the room and Yuki noticed the window wide open. He hurried over to the window to see Shuichi grab onto the edging of the veranda to swing down to the ground.
“Shuichi!”
Shuichi doubled his pace and hauled open the front door, coming face to face with his shocked mother and sister. Hurried footsteps came down the stairs and Shuichi dove for his wallet, turning on heal and sprinting out of the house.
Yuki made it to the last stair to see Shuichi’s back heading for the front gate.
“What the hell?” he gave a perplexed look to Shuichi’s mother before taking off after Shuichi.
Shindou-san grabbed her keys and handbag and ushered Maiko out of the door, “I…we have some shopping to do. Come along Maiko-chan.” She had Maiko deposit the broken cup in the rubbish bin outside.
Maiko dropped the pieces in the rubbish bin as she was asked and stopped, “But Okaa-chan, don’t you want to know what is wrong with Oni-chan?”
Shindou-san smiled, “Of course I do,” she hoped in the car with Maiko doing the same, “But Eiri-san is Shuichi’s partner. He is the person who should find out first.”
“Oh, I see,” Maiko nodded as her mother pulled out of the driveway.
They drove passed Yuki trying to stop their struggling family member from running down the street. Shindou-san sighed disappointedly, asking herself, ‘What has happened to them this time?’
Yuki bypassed the front gate and scaled the short wall framing the property, his longer stride helping him to catch up to Shuichi before his lover made it to the end of the block. He grabbed onto Shuichi’s shoulders and forced him to stop running, “Shuichi, stop! Stop!”
Shuichi tried to struggle out of Yuki’s grip, “Let go of me!”
Yuki was starting to become upset, he had never seen Shuichi like this and the worry was getting to him, “Not until you tell me what is going on.”
Shuichi’s eyes focused on something unseen, refusing to look in the direction of his lover, heaving his breath through gritted teeth. After a moment, a look of misery rippled across Shuichi’s face and his entire body just slumped.
Yuki’s worry spiked to unheard of levels at the depressed gaze in Shuichi’s eyes. Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Yuki gently led Shuichi back to the house.
Shuichi let Yuki lead him back upstairs to his bedroom and as Yuki let go of his shoulders to turn and close the door, Shuichi went over to his writing desk and slumped into the chair with his head buried in his arms, suddenly sobbing violently.
Yuki quickly closed the door and rushed through the mess over to Shuichi, taking him in his arms, “Shuichi! Please tell me what is wrong!”
Shuichi started crying harder and Yuki was not prepared for his question, “Why are you here?!”
Yuki was taken aback and pulled away from Shuichi slightly to look at him, “Shuichi, of course I would come looking for you if I found out something was wrong!”
“Bullshit!” Shuichi looked up at Yuki no longer crying but visibly seething.
Yuki stood up and took a step back staring down at his enraged lover, “What?”
“I said bullshit!”
Yuki brought his fingers to his temples, “I know what you said! I want to know why you think I am bullshitting you! Damn it Shuichi! When you did not step off that train this morning, and knowing that you were not at home, what do you think I would have done? When you did not answer your fucking phone, I called you enough times, how did you think I was feeling? I did not know where the fuck you were or if something had happened to you! And now that you just tried to take off…”
“Don’t you dare act like you care about me! How long have you been lying to me Eiri? Huh?” Shuichi continued to yell.
Yuki came out of his stupor and glared back at Shuichi, “What the fuck are you talking about Shuichi? Where the hell has this come from?”
Shuichi jumped up with enough force to knock the desk chair back several paces and against the wall, “You fucking bastard!” He picked up an empty glass that was on the table and threw it at the wall above his Nittle Grasper videos, sending a shower of glass over the shelving and dishevelled tapes, “You cheated on me!” he screamed, rage and anguish laced in his voice.
Yuki reflexively lifted his arm to shield his eyes as the glass smashed. Yuki’s eyes widened, “Excuse me? When the fuck did I cheat on you?!”
This time it was Shuichi’s turn to step back from his lover, “You…you liar…you don’t even have the…spine to admit it?”
Yuki’s eyes had hardened considerably and he was glowering at Shuichi dangerously, “I have not cheated on you!”
Shuichi growled and grabbed the television remote, which Yuki had not even spotted in the mess, and turned it on, “Well what the fuck is that then?”
Yuki stood still as the television showed footage of Tohma and Tatsuha hammering into him hard. Yuki’s blood ran cold and his face paled as he backed away until he was up against Shuichi’s bedroom door. Shuichi stood there glaring at him while his own moans and pleasured cries filled the room and pounded into his head.
Yuki turned away and put his hand up towards the television, “Turn…turn it off!”
“Why Yuki? This is not even the best part! But I am having trouble deciding which part I do like the best!” Shuichi’s anger and sarcasm were throbbing in his words as he turned the television off, “The part where you are actually satisfied during this, or the part where you begged for more from Kitazawa-san!” Shuichi threw the remote in the general direction of the floor not noticing it break and the batteries spill out over the floor. “I am still just a stand-in for that man, aren’t I, Yuki? You have lied to me all this time!”
Yuki’s breaths were coming in short, shallow wheezes and he brought his hand over his mouth as he started to cry, “No…I…sorry Shuichi…”
Shuichi held his hands out to the side of him as he shrugged his shoulders, “You are sorry? Sorry about what? That you actually did this?” He started approaching Yuki, who was hunched up against the door. “Or are you sorry that I found out? That I now know your little secret that my dominant partner likes it so much up his own ass! That I have found out that I am still not enough for you?” Shuichi shrieked.
Yuki could not look at Shuichi’s face.
Shuichi continued yelling, however his voice was beginning to crack, “Fuck Eiri! I have given you everything I have and put up with some serious shit from you! How the fuck could you do this to me…with them?! It would have hurt less if you had done it with a total fucking stranger!”
Yuki sucked in a choked breath as his tears continued to fall.
“Damn it Eiri! Why didn’t you come to me if you needed it that badly? You are my lover! Not theirs!” Shuichi had tears running down his face as he weakly beat at Yuki’s chest, “You are mine!” Shuichi stopped hitting at Yuki and gripped on to Yuki’s shirt, “Why didn’t you come to me? How can my love still not be enough?” Shuichi continued to bawl his eyes out as he slid to the floor at Yuki’s feet, his hands sliding down Yuki’s clothes to grip onto the material at the knees of Yuki’s pants, “You told me you loved me…”
Yuki slid down the door until he was sitting by Shuichi’s crumpled and weeping form. He grabbed at Shuichi and pulled Shuichi to him, “I am sorry Shuichi…I do love you…” He clutched Shuichi tightly as his lover continued to cry and buried his head in Shuichi’s shoulder, sobbing.
After some time had passed, Yuki lifted his face from Shuichi’s tear soaked shoulder to find Shuichi staring at nothing, though Shuichi still had not relinquished his vice-like grip on his clothes. Yuki lifted Shuichi’s head so he could look at him. Shuichi’s eyes were red, puffy and so dull that Yuki thought he was looking in someone else’s eyes. He could see the fatigue etched across Shuichi’s face and that his lover had lost weight. He could see Shuichi’s cheekbones more than usual and feel Shuichi’s hip and shoulder bones as he hugged his lover to him.
Yuki picked Shuichi up and carried him over to the bed, placing him down on it to rest. He picked up the strewn sheets and blanket, and gently placed them over Shuichi’s body before climbing onto the bed and holding Shuichi to him. “Get some sleep. I will be here when you wake up and we will talk more about this then.” Yuki leaned in slowly and tentatively kissed Shuichi on his dry lips. The kiss was not responded to, nor did Yuki expect it to be, but it was not rejected either. Yuki continued to hold Shuichi until he was certain Shuichi was in a deep sleep.
Yuki stood up, took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes that were feeling the aftermath of his own release of emotion. While Shuichi slept, Yuki went about reorganising the bombed out room as quietly as he could. It was a small task compared to the explaining he had to prepare before Shuichi woke. Shuichi now knew his darkest secret; one that he never wanted Shuichi to find out about, and Yuki was really frightened that he would not be able to take Shuichi back home this time.
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When Shuichi woke up, he actually felt better; it was overwhelming to know that even though he did not want to see his lover, in his lover’s presence was the only time he could rest. As his eyes came into focus, he did not recognise his room. The place was spotless. Everything had been tidied and cleaned up. Even his suitcases had been repacked for him. He looked up and found Yuki sitting on his desk chair by the open window. Shuichi could see that the sun had set outside, a heavy dusk remaining across the sky. Yuki was watching out the window and had a cigarette between his lips.
Shuichi sat up in the bed and hugged his legs, the movement alerting Yuki that he was awake. Yuki flicked his cigarette out of the window and came up to the bed, “I thought you were never going to wake up.” Yuki gingerly sat on the bed near Shuichi, “Are you feeling any better?”
Shuichi shrugged and muttered, “Better than I have done, I guess.”
Yuki nodded, “That is good…Look, Shuichi, I…”
Shuichi grimaced, still groggy from his sleep and put his hand up to stop Yuki, “Eiri, right now I do not want to hear your explanation, not yet. First thing’s first let me get over you cheating on me.”
Yuki closed his eyes for a moment before putting his hand on Shuichi’s knee, “Shuichi…I do not want to lose you over this. Without you…there is nothing in my life.”
Shuichi sighed and placed his hand on Yuki’s, “Eiri, I love you, I always have and knowing me I always will. I cannot stop loving you or love you any less. Just, answer me this one question for now.”
Yuki nodded.
Shuichi looked directly at him, “When did this happen?”
Yuki swallowed, “I had a moment of writer’s block less than a week before the deadline.”
Shuichi studied Yuki’s face for a moment before he let relief flood through his body. In a quiet whisper, he thanked his gods. Shuichi made to stand up from the bed. Once he stood, he popped a few joints and stretched his weak limbs.
Yuki looked up at him as he made for the bedroom door, “Where are you going?”
Shuichi raised his eyebrow slightly and looked down at Yuki, “Just to the bathroom.”
“Oh, right,” Yuki shook his head faintly at his own paranoia before looking back to Shuichi, “Why did you ask me that?”
Shuichi stopped as he opened the door enough to pass through, “Because if this had been after your deadline, when you were free to come to me, I do not think I would have been able to stay with you, no matter how much I love you,” Shuichi answered honestly. He waited a moment before continuing to the bathroom.
Yuki sat still on the bed stunned by Shuichi’s confession and just how close he had come to losing the only person he loves. After Yuki was able to somewhat rejoice at the reality that he was not going to lose his precious Shuichi, he turned his thoughts to how Shuichi had gotten that tape; that tape that nearly cost him everything. Seguchi Tohma. There was no other person on this planet capable of this. Yuki knew his brother would not dare cross him this way. Oh, he was going to have words with Tohma, and fists…and kicks…hell weaponry if it came to that!
Shuichi returned to his bedroom after brushing his teeth and washing his face to find Yuki sitting tensely on his bed with a murderous glower in his eyes as he glared through the window with enough force to melt it. He put his hand on Yuki’s shoulder, “Eiri?”
Yuki was jarred out of his mental negotiations of the demise of his brother-in-law when Shuichi’s hand touched his shoulder, “Huh? Oh, sorry Shuichi…”
Shuichi raised his eyebrow, “What is with that look? You look like you are about to execute someone.”
Yuki coughed at Shuichi’s innocent banter at his past and pulled Shuichi down to perch on his knee, “Not far from it actually.”
Shuichi shifted so he sat on one of Yuki’s legs, “Oh?”
“Who do you think sent you that tape?” Yuki surmised, “What the hell did he think he was playing at! Seguchi nearly cost us our relationship and threw my trust in him out the window!” Yuki took in Shuichi’s expression, “Yes I know; we can argue about the fact that there should not have been anything to film in the first place later, but you said you did not want to discuss that yet.”
Shuichi kissed Yuki’s cheek, “I know I did, but do not think you will ever get out of doing so.”
Yuki groaned, “Does that prick even know what position he has put me in?”
Shuichi put his arms around Yuki’s shoulder and held him. Shuichi was also aware that if Tohma and Eiri did confront each other about this (especially in the methods that Yuki was viciously considering) it could leak out to his sister’s ears and cause a break down in their marriage, which would fall back onto Yuki’s father and the entire family. All hell would break loose if the media ever found out. Shuichi also knew that this ran deeper than just having sex with Seguchi and Tatsuha for the fun of it, as Yuki had been calling for his dead sensei. Shuichi wished that the dead man did not have such a strong hold on Yuki and ached for the day Yuki could let go of his past.
After a moment Shuichi looked to his repacked suitcases, “So I take it I am coming home with you tonight?”
Yuki looked up, “I had hoped so.”
Shuichi smiled softly and nodded lightly leaning in to rest his forehead against Yuki’s, “Please Eiri, never do this again, I will not be able to take any more.”
Yuki took hold of Shuichi’s cheek and he brought Shuichi to him for a bruising kiss. Shuichi was quick to respond this time, letting Yuki make his promise with his kiss. The romance novelist was never really one to use words in his own life. Shuichi shifted so that he straddled Yuki’s legs in order to kiss him more deeply.
Yuki’s kiss was washing Shuichi’s anger and sadness at the man away, allowing Yuki to take back what was infinitely his; Shuichi. Why Shuichi loved him so much to forgive him every time he ripped his heart out, Yuki will never know, he just knew that he did love him. Yuki gripped onto Shuichi tightly and broke the kiss, “Shuichi…I am never letting you go…”
Shuichi pulled back a little and Yuki could see love poking through his lover’s purple eyes again, “As tempting as that is, that will make going home a bit difficult though,” Shuichi giggled.
Yuki fought the urge to roll his eyes at Shuichi and pinch his backside, “Are you ready to go home?”
Shuichi nodded and climbed off Yuki’s lap, making his way over to his suitcases. He and Yuki heaved his cases down the stairs and Shuichi plopped his down at the front door. His mother was waiting for him and she came towards him as he approached her. Shuichi hugged her, “I am sorry I snapped at you yesterday Okaa-chan.”
His mother returned the hug, “That is alright. Is everything okay, Shu-chan?” she asked as Shuichi pulled away, glancing knowingly at Yuki for a moment.
Shuichi smiled lightly and nodded, “It will be.”
“You are heading back home now?”
Shuichi nodded and stood with Yuki when he came back inside from loading the luggage in the car, “Yeah. Thank you for letting me stay, despite my attitude.”
“Oh Shuichi, don’t be ridiculous! You will always have a room to stay here in when you need it. Now you two have a safe trip and call me when you get home,” she told him.
Shuichi was sceptical about that; he was expecting his room to become something else in the not-too-distant future. He smiled and waved goodbye to his dad. He would have to call when Maiko was home so he could apologise to her. Yuki put his arm around Shuichi as they walked out of the house and to the car.
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It was after midnight when Yuki and Shuichi opened the door of the apartment. Shuichi’s luggage was left in the passageway, as Shuichi was too tired to shift and unpack them. Because of the hour, Shuichi only sent his mother a text message to tell her that they had arrived safely. Yuki tiredly dropped his keys on the side table and out of habit led Shuichi to their bedroom.
The moment Shuichi saw the bed, he knew he would not be sleeping in it that night, “Uh Eiri…I…I think I will sleep on the couch tonight…I am sorry but I just…”
Yuki looked between the bed and Shuichi and saw the look on Shuichi’s face. He knew instantly that Shuichi would not be able to share that bed with him tonight. As much as he would have preferred to be able to hold Shuichi tonight, he nodded in understanding, “If that is what you need to do then alright.”
Shuichi smiled gratefully and nodded before quickly getting himself and the couch ready. He had gotten the couch set up and changed into his pj’s when he went into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth.
Yuki was sitting up in bed reading when he heard the sound of brushing. Lowering his book, he looked to the bathroom, “You are brushing your teeth again?” The brushing paused and he heard Shuichi spit.
“Habit,” came from the bathroom before the brushing resumed.
Yuki went back to his book and after a few minutes Shuichi came out of the bathroom. He grabbed a spare pillow from the wardrobe and bid Yuki goodnight, before heading into the other room.
Yuki hadn’t been reading for five minutes before Shuichi came back into the room with the pillow, agitatedly got into bed and turned his back on his lover when he laid down to sleep.
Yuki turned his page, “I thought you were going to sleep on the couch…”
“I was,” Shuichi mumbled, “I forgot how uncomfortable it was.”
“Ah,” replied Yuki. He put his book down and took his glasses off, flicking out the light, “Goodnight.”
“Hn,” grumbled Shuichi, “We are getting a new bed…tomorrow,” he declared.
Yuki had settled down to sleep and he twisted his body to look at Shuichi, “What? Why?”
Shuichi sighed, a ‘duh’ aura surrounding him, “Because I refuse to sleep in this bed tomorrow night!”
Yuki took a deep breath, “I will replace the mattress for you but not the frame…you were there when we got it and saw how much it cost.”
“Fine…and you are going to get rid of that sheet set too.”
Yuki’s eyebrow was starting to twitch, ‘That is a $500 silk set…’
“Or the next time I see it I will burn it.”
Yuki just sighed.
“And so are those clothes you were wearing…”
‘This is going too far,’ thought Yuki, “Shuichi…” Yuki said in a warning tone.
“Yuki…” challenged Shuichi in the same warning tone.
Yuki settled back down in the bed, “Fine! Just go to sleep, baka.”
Shuichi elbowed Yuki, “Do not call me baka!”
Yuki opened his eyes, “Did you just elbow me?” he asked incredulously.
Shuichi was perfectly straightforward with him, “Yes!”
Yuki glared, “Do you want to end up on that uncomfortable couch?”
Shuichi tapped his fingers on the bed next to him before grabbing his pillow and hitting Yuki with it, “You are not kicking me out of here tonight Eiri!”
Yuki took a moment to blink and pushed Shuichi’s pillow away from him. Yuki threw the covers off him enough to remove them partially from Shuichi’s body as well. Yuki pounced on Shuichi and spent a few moments manoeuvring himself between Shuichi’s legs, grabbing hold of his flailing arms and pinning them by Shuichi’s sides. Shuichi glared heatedly up at Yuki before he suddenly hoisted his body up to crash his lips against Yuki’s.
Shuichi pulled back and gasped in a deep, shocked breath as Yuki’s hardened member thrust up against his entrance, “Gya!” Shuichi’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as he bucked his hips in response.
Yuki and Shuichi intermittently kissed with bruising force, teeth scraping at each other’s mouth and lips, as their clothing were quickly removed. Yuki hastily grabbed the lube off the bedside table and wasted no time in beginning to prepare Shuichi. Shuichi arched off the bed as Yuki entered two fingers into him, scissoring his insides and brushing against his prostate.
“Ah! Yuki! Enough…take me now…please!”
Yuki had been too long without his incredible lover to keep preparing him any further and satisfied Shuichi’s begging. Yuki grabbed Shuichi’s hips, certain there would be bruises there the next morning, and hastily entered his lover’s body.
Shuichi cried out at the sudden, but pleasant, intrusion. He needed Yuki to take him hard and fast, to possess him. Shuichi had tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he and Yuki grasped onto each other’s bodies relentlessly, their fingernails leaving scratches and imprints.
“Harder Yuki! Faster! More…fuck me Eiri!” Shuichi chanted.
Yuki groaned as Shuichi met his fast, hard thrusts with equal fervour and Shuichi reached his hand between their bodies to grasp himself as Yuki urgently delved into his lover over and over again.
Shuichi moaned as lust shuddered through his body. He wrapped his arms and legs around Yuki’s waist and shoulders pulling the older man closer to his body, “Eiri…Tell me you still love me!” Shuichi cried.
Yuki was panting heavily as he placed nipping kisses over Shuichi’s shoulders and chest, “I never stopped loving you.”
Shuichi threw his head back gasping as pleasure-filled sensations swept through him, “Please! Tell me you are still mine!”
Yuki was hammering into Shuichi’s prostate making the younger man howl in pleasure. Yuki moaned as Shuichi’s tight passage started to clench around him, “I am always yours,” he groaned out as he climaxed and started to see stars behind his eyes.
“Ah! EIRI!” Shuichi yelled his lover’s name for the heavens to hear as he came to his orgasm hard, intense and fast with Yuki’s seed spilling into him.
Yuki tried to fall to Shuichi’s side so as not to squash him, but Shuichi’s tight grip on his body prevented him from doing so. Yuki ended up collapsing on top of Shuichi and so buried his head in Shuichi’s shoulder, his body heaving in gasps of breath as he recovered from their hot and demanding session.
Shuichi held his arms loosely around Yuki’s shoulders as he lay panting, “Eiri, I missed you so much!”
Yuki had been softly working on a love bite and nodded against Shuichi’s skin before he pulled out of his beautiful lover. Yuki grabbed the bedcovers and brought them over his and Shuichi’s sweaty bodies. Yuki pulled Shuichi tight into his arms, softly whispering, “I love you, Shuichi,” and fell asleep with his head buried in the nape of Shuichi’s neck, Shuichi falling into unconsciousness with him.
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Woah! What a crazy chapter! So much happens!
Thank you for reading again!
Please leave a review!
Love to you all!
KittenCeez!
xxx
Summary: Shuichi was given something Yuki thought he would never ever even know about let alone see and now Yuki has to pick up all the pieces.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Gravitation, though I wish I did. But I just have to live with my ever increasing Gravitation collection.
Rating: R - Content, Language, Adult Themes
A/N: Based on the Gravitation Megamix Panda. I believe I have covered enough in the body of the story for you if you have not read it, but still go and find and read it. It gives a deeper look into Yuki’s past and his trauma.
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Chapter 3
Yuki and Shuichi’s mother hurried out of the kitchen and found Maiko picking up broken pieces of porcelain.
“Excuse me please,” Yuki said and stepped over Maiko quickly making his way upstairs.
Shuichi was pacing frantically. Yuki would have found out he was home with his whirlwind entrance. He did not want to see Yuki! At all! Shuichi forced himself to stop and think, “Come on, Shuichi! Focus…wallet, just grab that and go!”
Shuichi looked around his room for a moment before remembering his wallet was downstairs on the hall cabinet by the door. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and his mind started to blur until he saw his bedroom window. He made a dash for it, wrenching it open and climbing out with well-practised ease (his mother didn’t think he was a teenaged delinquent for nothing). Shuichi was about to swing off the veranda roof when he saw a flash of blonde in his window.
Yuki hurried upstairs and to Shuichi’s room. Stepping inside, Yuki took in the mess; papers were everywhere, his Nittle Grasper video collection was overturned, the bed sheets were all over the floor and instead of Shuichi unpacking his suitcases, the contents were simply spilling out of them. Shuichi was nowhere to be found in the room and Yuki noticed the window wide open. He hurried over to the window to see Shuichi grab onto the edging of the veranda to swing down to the ground.
“Shuichi!”
Shuichi doubled his pace and hauled open the front door, coming face to face with his shocked mother and sister. Hurried footsteps came down the stairs and Shuichi dove for his wallet, turning on heal and sprinting out of the house.
Yuki made it to the last stair to see Shuichi’s back heading for the front gate.
“What the hell?” he gave a perplexed look to Shuichi’s mother before taking off after Shuichi.
Shindou-san grabbed her keys and handbag and ushered Maiko out of the door, “I…we have some shopping to do. Come along Maiko-chan.” She had Maiko deposit the broken cup in the rubbish bin outside.
Maiko dropped the pieces in the rubbish bin as she was asked and stopped, “But Okaa-chan, don’t you want to know what is wrong with Oni-chan?”
Shindou-san smiled, “Of course I do,” she hoped in the car with Maiko doing the same, “But Eiri-san is Shuichi’s partner. He is the person who should find out first.”
“Oh, I see,” Maiko nodded as her mother pulled out of the driveway.
They drove passed Yuki trying to stop their struggling family member from running down the street. Shindou-san sighed disappointedly, asking herself, ‘What has happened to them this time?’
Yuki bypassed the front gate and scaled the short wall framing the property, his longer stride helping him to catch up to Shuichi before his lover made it to the end of the block. He grabbed onto Shuichi’s shoulders and forced him to stop running, “Shuichi, stop! Stop!”
Shuichi tried to struggle out of Yuki’s grip, “Let go of me!”
Yuki was starting to become upset, he had never seen Shuichi like this and the worry was getting to him, “Not until you tell me what is going on.”
Shuichi’s eyes focused on something unseen, refusing to look in the direction of his lover, heaving his breath through gritted teeth. After a moment, a look of misery rippled across Shuichi’s face and his entire body just slumped.
Yuki’s worry spiked to unheard of levels at the depressed gaze in Shuichi’s eyes. Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Yuki gently led Shuichi back to the house.
Shuichi let Yuki lead him back upstairs to his bedroom and as Yuki let go of his shoulders to turn and close the door, Shuichi went over to his writing desk and slumped into the chair with his head buried in his arms, suddenly sobbing violently.
Yuki quickly closed the door and rushed through the mess over to Shuichi, taking him in his arms, “Shuichi! Please tell me what is wrong!”
Shuichi started crying harder and Yuki was not prepared for his question, “Why are you here?!”
Yuki was taken aback and pulled away from Shuichi slightly to look at him, “Shuichi, of course I would come looking for you if I found out something was wrong!”
“Bullshit!” Shuichi looked up at Yuki no longer crying but visibly seething.
Yuki stood up and took a step back staring down at his enraged lover, “What?”
“I said bullshit!”
Yuki brought his fingers to his temples, “I know what you said! I want to know why you think I am bullshitting you! Damn it Shuichi! When you did not step off that train this morning, and knowing that you were not at home, what do you think I would have done? When you did not answer your fucking phone, I called you enough times, how did you think I was feeling? I did not know where the fuck you were or if something had happened to you! And now that you just tried to take off…”
“Don’t you dare act like you care about me! How long have you been lying to me Eiri? Huh?” Shuichi continued to yell.
Yuki came out of his stupor and glared back at Shuichi, “What the fuck are you talking about Shuichi? Where the hell has this come from?”
Shuichi jumped up with enough force to knock the desk chair back several paces and against the wall, “You fucking bastard!” He picked up an empty glass that was on the table and threw it at the wall above his Nittle Grasper videos, sending a shower of glass over the shelving and dishevelled tapes, “You cheated on me!” he screamed, rage and anguish laced in his voice.
Yuki reflexively lifted his arm to shield his eyes as the glass smashed. Yuki’s eyes widened, “Excuse me? When the fuck did I cheat on you?!”
This time it was Shuichi’s turn to step back from his lover, “You…you liar…you don’t even have the…spine to admit it?”
Yuki’s eyes had hardened considerably and he was glowering at Shuichi dangerously, “I have not cheated on you!”
Shuichi growled and grabbed the television remote, which Yuki had not even spotted in the mess, and turned it on, “Well what the fuck is that then?”
Yuki stood still as the television showed footage of Tohma and Tatsuha hammering into him hard. Yuki’s blood ran cold and his face paled as he backed away until he was up against Shuichi’s bedroom door. Shuichi stood there glaring at him while his own moans and pleasured cries filled the room and pounded into his head.
Yuki turned away and put his hand up towards the television, “Turn…turn it off!”
“Why Yuki? This is not even the best part! But I am having trouble deciding which part I do like the best!” Shuichi’s anger and sarcasm were throbbing in his words as he turned the television off, “The part where you are actually satisfied during this, or the part where you begged for more from Kitazawa-san!” Shuichi threw the remote in the general direction of the floor not noticing it break and the batteries spill out over the floor. “I am still just a stand-in for that man, aren’t I, Yuki? You have lied to me all this time!”
Yuki’s breaths were coming in short, shallow wheezes and he brought his hand over his mouth as he started to cry, “No…I…sorry Shuichi…”
Shuichi held his hands out to the side of him as he shrugged his shoulders, “You are sorry? Sorry about what? That you actually did this?” He started approaching Yuki, who was hunched up against the door. “Or are you sorry that I found out? That I now know your little secret that my dominant partner likes it so much up his own ass! That I have found out that I am still not enough for you?” Shuichi shrieked.
Yuki could not look at Shuichi’s face.
Shuichi continued yelling, however his voice was beginning to crack, “Fuck Eiri! I have given you everything I have and put up with some serious shit from you! How the fuck could you do this to me…with them?! It would have hurt less if you had done it with a total fucking stranger!”
Yuki sucked in a choked breath as his tears continued to fall.
“Damn it Eiri! Why didn’t you come to me if you needed it that badly? You are my lover! Not theirs!” Shuichi had tears running down his face as he weakly beat at Yuki’s chest, “You are mine!” Shuichi stopped hitting at Yuki and gripped on to Yuki’s shirt, “Why didn’t you come to me? How can my love still not be enough?” Shuichi continued to bawl his eyes out as he slid to the floor at Yuki’s feet, his hands sliding down Yuki’s clothes to grip onto the material at the knees of Yuki’s pants, “You told me you loved me…”
Yuki slid down the door until he was sitting by Shuichi’s crumpled and weeping form. He grabbed at Shuichi and pulled Shuichi to him, “I am sorry Shuichi…I do love you…” He clutched Shuichi tightly as his lover continued to cry and buried his head in Shuichi’s shoulder, sobbing.
After some time had passed, Yuki lifted his face from Shuichi’s tear soaked shoulder to find Shuichi staring at nothing, though Shuichi still had not relinquished his vice-like grip on his clothes. Yuki lifted Shuichi’s head so he could look at him. Shuichi’s eyes were red, puffy and so dull that Yuki thought he was looking in someone else’s eyes. He could see the fatigue etched across Shuichi’s face and that his lover had lost weight. He could see Shuichi’s cheekbones more than usual and feel Shuichi’s hip and shoulder bones as he hugged his lover to him.
Yuki picked Shuichi up and carried him over to the bed, placing him down on it to rest. He picked up the strewn sheets and blanket, and gently placed them over Shuichi’s body before climbing onto the bed and holding Shuichi to him. “Get some sleep. I will be here when you wake up and we will talk more about this then.” Yuki leaned in slowly and tentatively kissed Shuichi on his dry lips. The kiss was not responded to, nor did Yuki expect it to be, but it was not rejected either. Yuki continued to hold Shuichi until he was certain Shuichi was in a deep sleep.
Yuki stood up, took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes that were feeling the aftermath of his own release of emotion. While Shuichi slept, Yuki went about reorganising the bombed out room as quietly as he could. It was a small task compared to the explaining he had to prepare before Shuichi woke. Shuichi now knew his darkest secret; one that he never wanted Shuichi to find out about, and Yuki was really frightened that he would not be able to take Shuichi back home this time.
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When Shuichi woke up, he actually felt better; it was overwhelming to know that even though he did not want to see his lover, in his lover’s presence was the only time he could rest. As his eyes came into focus, he did not recognise his room. The place was spotless. Everything had been tidied and cleaned up. Even his suitcases had been repacked for him. He looked up and found Yuki sitting on his desk chair by the open window. Shuichi could see that the sun had set outside, a heavy dusk remaining across the sky. Yuki was watching out the window and had a cigarette between his lips.
Shuichi sat up in the bed and hugged his legs, the movement alerting Yuki that he was awake. Yuki flicked his cigarette out of the window and came up to the bed, “I thought you were never going to wake up.” Yuki gingerly sat on the bed near Shuichi, “Are you feeling any better?”
Shuichi shrugged and muttered, “Better than I have done, I guess.”
Yuki nodded, “That is good…Look, Shuichi, I…”
Shuichi grimaced, still groggy from his sleep and put his hand up to stop Yuki, “Eiri, right now I do not want to hear your explanation, not yet. First thing’s first let me get over you cheating on me.”
Yuki closed his eyes for a moment before putting his hand on Shuichi’s knee, “Shuichi…I do not want to lose you over this. Without you…there is nothing in my life.”
Shuichi sighed and placed his hand on Yuki’s, “Eiri, I love you, I always have and knowing me I always will. I cannot stop loving you or love you any less. Just, answer me this one question for now.”
Yuki nodded.
Shuichi looked directly at him, “When did this happen?”
Yuki swallowed, “I had a moment of writer’s block less than a week before the deadline.”
Shuichi studied Yuki’s face for a moment before he let relief flood through his body. In a quiet whisper, he thanked his gods. Shuichi made to stand up from the bed. Once he stood, he popped a few joints and stretched his weak limbs.
Yuki looked up at him as he made for the bedroom door, “Where are you going?”
Shuichi raised his eyebrow slightly and looked down at Yuki, “Just to the bathroom.”
“Oh, right,” Yuki shook his head faintly at his own paranoia before looking back to Shuichi, “Why did you ask me that?”
Shuichi stopped as he opened the door enough to pass through, “Because if this had been after your deadline, when you were free to come to me, I do not think I would have been able to stay with you, no matter how much I love you,” Shuichi answered honestly. He waited a moment before continuing to the bathroom.
Yuki sat still on the bed stunned by Shuichi’s confession and just how close he had come to losing the only person he loves. After Yuki was able to somewhat rejoice at the reality that he was not going to lose his precious Shuichi, he turned his thoughts to how Shuichi had gotten that tape; that tape that nearly cost him everything. Seguchi Tohma. There was no other person on this planet capable of this. Yuki knew his brother would not dare cross him this way. Oh, he was going to have words with Tohma, and fists…and kicks…hell weaponry if it came to that!
Shuichi returned to his bedroom after brushing his teeth and washing his face to find Yuki sitting tensely on his bed with a murderous glower in his eyes as he glared through the window with enough force to melt it. He put his hand on Yuki’s shoulder, “Eiri?”
Yuki was jarred out of his mental negotiations of the demise of his brother-in-law when Shuichi’s hand touched his shoulder, “Huh? Oh, sorry Shuichi…”
Shuichi raised his eyebrow, “What is with that look? You look like you are about to execute someone.”
Yuki coughed at Shuichi’s innocent banter at his past and pulled Shuichi down to perch on his knee, “Not far from it actually.”
Shuichi shifted so he sat on one of Yuki’s legs, “Oh?”
“Who do you think sent you that tape?” Yuki surmised, “What the hell did he think he was playing at! Seguchi nearly cost us our relationship and threw my trust in him out the window!” Yuki took in Shuichi’s expression, “Yes I know; we can argue about the fact that there should not have been anything to film in the first place later, but you said you did not want to discuss that yet.”
Shuichi kissed Yuki’s cheek, “I know I did, but do not think you will ever get out of doing so.”
Yuki groaned, “Does that prick even know what position he has put me in?”
Shuichi put his arms around Yuki’s shoulder and held him. Shuichi was also aware that if Tohma and Eiri did confront each other about this (especially in the methods that Yuki was viciously considering) it could leak out to his sister’s ears and cause a break down in their marriage, which would fall back onto Yuki’s father and the entire family. All hell would break loose if the media ever found out. Shuichi also knew that this ran deeper than just having sex with Seguchi and Tatsuha for the fun of it, as Yuki had been calling for his dead sensei. Shuichi wished that the dead man did not have such a strong hold on Yuki and ached for the day Yuki could let go of his past.
After a moment Shuichi looked to his repacked suitcases, “So I take it I am coming home with you tonight?”
Yuki looked up, “I had hoped so.”
Shuichi smiled softly and nodded lightly leaning in to rest his forehead against Yuki’s, “Please Eiri, never do this again, I will not be able to take any more.”
Yuki took hold of Shuichi’s cheek and he brought Shuichi to him for a bruising kiss. Shuichi was quick to respond this time, letting Yuki make his promise with his kiss. The romance novelist was never really one to use words in his own life. Shuichi shifted so that he straddled Yuki’s legs in order to kiss him more deeply.
Yuki’s kiss was washing Shuichi’s anger and sadness at the man away, allowing Yuki to take back what was infinitely his; Shuichi. Why Shuichi loved him so much to forgive him every time he ripped his heart out, Yuki will never know, he just knew that he did love him. Yuki gripped onto Shuichi tightly and broke the kiss, “Shuichi…I am never letting you go…”
Shuichi pulled back a little and Yuki could see love poking through his lover’s purple eyes again, “As tempting as that is, that will make going home a bit difficult though,” Shuichi giggled.
Yuki fought the urge to roll his eyes at Shuichi and pinch his backside, “Are you ready to go home?”
Shuichi nodded and climbed off Yuki’s lap, making his way over to his suitcases. He and Yuki heaved his cases down the stairs and Shuichi plopped his down at the front door. His mother was waiting for him and she came towards him as he approached her. Shuichi hugged her, “I am sorry I snapped at you yesterday Okaa-chan.”
His mother returned the hug, “That is alright. Is everything okay, Shu-chan?” she asked as Shuichi pulled away, glancing knowingly at Yuki for a moment.
Shuichi smiled lightly and nodded, “It will be.”
“You are heading back home now?”
Shuichi nodded and stood with Yuki when he came back inside from loading the luggage in the car, “Yeah. Thank you for letting me stay, despite my attitude.”
“Oh Shuichi, don’t be ridiculous! You will always have a room to stay here in when you need it. Now you two have a safe trip and call me when you get home,” she told him.
Shuichi was sceptical about that; he was expecting his room to become something else in the not-too-distant future. He smiled and waved goodbye to his dad. He would have to call when Maiko was home so he could apologise to her. Yuki put his arm around Shuichi as they walked out of the house and to the car.
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It was after midnight when Yuki and Shuichi opened the door of the apartment. Shuichi’s luggage was left in the passageway, as Shuichi was too tired to shift and unpack them. Because of the hour, Shuichi only sent his mother a text message to tell her that they had arrived safely. Yuki tiredly dropped his keys on the side table and out of habit led Shuichi to their bedroom.
The moment Shuichi saw the bed, he knew he would not be sleeping in it that night, “Uh Eiri…I…I think I will sleep on the couch tonight…I am sorry but I just…”
Yuki looked between the bed and Shuichi and saw the look on Shuichi’s face. He knew instantly that Shuichi would not be able to share that bed with him tonight. As much as he would have preferred to be able to hold Shuichi tonight, he nodded in understanding, “If that is what you need to do then alright.”
Shuichi smiled gratefully and nodded before quickly getting himself and the couch ready. He had gotten the couch set up and changed into his pj’s when he went into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth.
Yuki was sitting up in bed reading when he heard the sound of brushing. Lowering his book, he looked to the bathroom, “You are brushing your teeth again?” The brushing paused and he heard Shuichi spit.
“Habit,” came from the bathroom before the brushing resumed.
Yuki went back to his book and after a few minutes Shuichi came out of the bathroom. He grabbed a spare pillow from the wardrobe and bid Yuki goodnight, before heading into the other room.
Yuki hadn’t been reading for five minutes before Shuichi came back into the room with the pillow, agitatedly got into bed and turned his back on his lover when he laid down to sleep.
Yuki turned his page, “I thought you were going to sleep on the couch…”
“I was,” Shuichi mumbled, “I forgot how uncomfortable it was.”
“Ah,” replied Yuki. He put his book down and took his glasses off, flicking out the light, “Goodnight.”
“Hn,” grumbled Shuichi, “We are getting a new bed…tomorrow,” he declared.
Yuki had settled down to sleep and he twisted his body to look at Shuichi, “What? Why?”
Shuichi sighed, a ‘duh’ aura surrounding him, “Because I refuse to sleep in this bed tomorrow night!”
Yuki took a deep breath, “I will replace the mattress for you but not the frame…you were there when we got it and saw how much it cost.”
“Fine…and you are going to get rid of that sheet set too.”
Yuki’s eyebrow was starting to twitch, ‘That is a $500 silk set…’
“Or the next time I see it I will burn it.”
Yuki just sighed.
“And so are those clothes you were wearing…”
‘This is going too far,’ thought Yuki, “Shuichi…” Yuki said in a warning tone.
“Yuki…” challenged Shuichi in the same warning tone.
Yuki settled back down in the bed, “Fine! Just go to sleep, baka.”
Shuichi elbowed Yuki, “Do not call me baka!”
Yuki opened his eyes, “Did you just elbow me?” he asked incredulously.
Shuichi was perfectly straightforward with him, “Yes!”
Yuki glared, “Do you want to end up on that uncomfortable couch?”
Shuichi tapped his fingers on the bed next to him before grabbing his pillow and hitting Yuki with it, “You are not kicking me out of here tonight Eiri!”
Yuki took a moment to blink and pushed Shuichi’s pillow away from him. Yuki threw the covers off him enough to remove them partially from Shuichi’s body as well. Yuki pounced on Shuichi and spent a few moments manoeuvring himself between Shuichi’s legs, grabbing hold of his flailing arms and pinning them by Shuichi’s sides. Shuichi glared heatedly up at Yuki before he suddenly hoisted his body up to crash his lips against Yuki’s.
Shuichi pulled back and gasped in a deep, shocked breath as Yuki’s hardened member thrust up against his entrance, “Gya!” Shuichi’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as he bucked his hips in response.
Yuki and Shuichi intermittently kissed with bruising force, teeth scraping at each other’s mouth and lips, as their clothing were quickly removed. Yuki hastily grabbed the lube off the bedside table and wasted no time in beginning to prepare Shuichi. Shuichi arched off the bed as Yuki entered two fingers into him, scissoring his insides and brushing against his prostate.
“Ah! Yuki! Enough…take me now…please!”
Yuki had been too long without his incredible lover to keep preparing him any further and satisfied Shuichi’s begging. Yuki grabbed Shuichi’s hips, certain there would be bruises there the next morning, and hastily entered his lover’s body.
Shuichi cried out at the sudden, but pleasant, intrusion. He needed Yuki to take him hard and fast, to possess him. Shuichi had tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he and Yuki grasped onto each other’s bodies relentlessly, their fingernails leaving scratches and imprints.
“Harder Yuki! Faster! More…fuck me Eiri!” Shuichi chanted.
Yuki groaned as Shuichi met his fast, hard thrusts with equal fervour and Shuichi reached his hand between their bodies to grasp himself as Yuki urgently delved into his lover over and over again.
Shuichi moaned as lust shuddered through his body. He wrapped his arms and legs around Yuki’s waist and shoulders pulling the older man closer to his body, “Eiri…Tell me you still love me!” Shuichi cried.
Yuki was panting heavily as he placed nipping kisses over Shuichi’s shoulders and chest, “I never stopped loving you.”
Shuichi threw his head back gasping as pleasure-filled sensations swept through him, “Please! Tell me you are still mine!”
Yuki was hammering into Shuichi’s prostate making the younger man howl in pleasure. Yuki moaned as Shuichi’s tight passage started to clench around him, “I am always yours,” he groaned out as he climaxed and started to see stars behind his eyes.
“Ah! EIRI!” Shuichi yelled his lover’s name for the heavens to hear as he came to his orgasm hard, intense and fast with Yuki’s seed spilling into him.
Yuki tried to fall to Shuichi’s side so as not to squash him, but Shuichi’s tight grip on his body prevented him from doing so. Yuki ended up collapsing on top of Shuichi and so buried his head in Shuichi’s shoulder, his body heaving in gasps of breath as he recovered from their hot and demanding session.
Shuichi held his arms loosely around Yuki’s shoulders as he lay panting, “Eiri, I missed you so much!”
Yuki had been softly working on a love bite and nodded against Shuichi’s skin before he pulled out of his beautiful lover. Yuki grabbed the bedcovers and brought them over his and Shuichi’s sweaty bodies. Yuki pulled Shuichi tight into his arms, softly whispering, “I love you, Shuichi,” and fell asleep with his head buried in the nape of Shuichi’s neck, Shuichi falling into unconsciousness with him.
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Woah! What a crazy chapter! So much happens!
Thank you for reading again!
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Love to you all!
KittenCeez!
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