Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Gene-Spliced Harry

Chapter 1

by Cypher3au 9 reviews

Alternate Order of the Phoenix. Harry is, quite naturally, a little ticked off at his friends and the Headmaster. Muggle science has developed a way to splice animal DNA into humans. Fawkes has ...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Sci-fi - Characters: Fleur, Harry, Tonks - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-05-26 - Updated: 2006-05-26 - 2702 words

5Funny
First off, I'm only going to say this once, so this disclaimer covers this chapter and every chapter that follows after it. I do not own Harry Potter, or anything you may recognise from those books. The gene-splicing idea came from Redpriest17, and I hear he got it from Batman Beyond. I don't watch Batman Beyond, and I don't own that either.

Now, on with the show...





Leaning against the wall along the side of Number 4 Privet Drive, the skinny wizard known to the magical world as the Boy-Who-Lived strained his ears, trying to catch any hint of Voldemort's movements in the muggle news...


"Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would!"


...but unfortunately, it seemed like it was going to be a long, boring, scorching hot summer. He spent most of the time wandering around Little Whinging, digging newspapers out of bins and doing everything in his power to avoid thinking about the graveyard, Cedric's lifeless face, and his best friend's and Godfather's vague, pointless letters.


"WHAT KIND OF FREAKISH NONSENSE IS THIS!?"


Harry flinched at Vernon's bellowing roar, and contemplated heading to the park before curiousity got the better of him. Slowly standing up in the gap between the hydrangea bush and the wall, Harry peeked into the open window. Vernon was sputtering at the television, his mustache twitching and face purpling with indignation.


On the big-screen TV, a reporter was interviewing a man with a thin mustache and goatee in a black silk suit and tie, with a navy-blue silk shirt and a pair of black reflective sunglasses. The white streak in his hair and his pointed ears were an interesting touch.


The female reporter, Kim Shanahan, asked her first question. "Dr. Kay Mera, where did the whole idea of Splicing begin?"


"Health related issues." Dr. Mera stated simply. "As well as funding from certain military-supporting wings of governments that wish to remain unnamed for security reasons."


"So, Splicing was mean to be the basis of bio-weapons?" Kim questioned.


Sitting up, Dr. Mera frowned indignantly- "Of course not! First and foremost, it was to be used in health-related issues. The first experiment in such a fashion was using reptilian DNA so a person could regrow lost limbs, and then be changed back to a human, with new limbs intact."


Kim looked a little green at the idea, but forged on. "And was it a success?"


"Of course!" Dr. Mera said proudly. "A complete success. Currently I've been sharing such findings with hospitals and the FDA. Such a process, I am proud to say, will be brought to public and private hospitals very soon, but for now I hope to introduce the general Splicing process to the British people."


"But what about those who can't take the process?" Kim asked. "There's already been some reports of people not being able to take the gene-mutation."


"Of course, there are some people who have allergies or bad reactions to the splicing cocktails." Dr. Mera admitted. "I mean, not everyone can take penicillin, can they?"


"But this is hardly a form of mold." The blonde reporter countered.


"Of course it isn't." Dr. Mera agreed. "Which is why when we start the Splicing process, we have the antigen on hand to start injecting should anything go wrong. Nine times out of ten, the person that has had antigen administered immediately after reaction will be completely fine."


"And that other ten percent?" Kim asked.


"Mostly mild reactions. Upset stomach, diarrhea, nausea...we've even had a few cases of migraines and insomnia." Dr. Mera chuckled. "Of course, none of this is any worse than compared to the bad reactions most people get from over-the-counter medicines."


The woman nodded her head to that. "Since there is an antivenin, does it have to be administered right then and there to be effective, or can it be taken any time?"


"It can be taken at any time." Dr. Mera said. "Splicing does not have to be permanent unless a person wants it to be. If a person decides they're tired of being Spliced, or want to be Spliced with something else, they can come in, have the first set of Spliced DNA removed, and either leave here like their old selves, or they can be Spliced with a new animal."


"All right, Dr. Mera." Kim said. "What does the whole Splicing set-up cost to have done? It must be expensive."


"It could be." Dr. Mera agreed. "Considering the gene-coding that has to be done for each and every customer. But it isn't." He told the news-anchor.


"It isn't?" Makiko asked.


"No." Dr. Mera agreed. "I want as many people as I can get to enjoy the wonders of Splicing, so I make the prices very affordable. Only thirty pounds per Animal Splice."


"That's very cheap." Kim agreed.


"I see it as being reasonable." Dr. Mera said as he held up his hand to make a `peace' sign. It was then that the viewers could see that his fingernails were black, hard, and pointed; almost like claws.


Nodding her head, Kim wrapped up the interview. "Very well... If there anything else you'd like to say about Splicing?"


"Yes," Dr. Mera said. "I would like to reaffirm that Splicing is not only one-hundred-percent safe, but it has many benefits, be it for artistic or physical reasons. And remember folks..." Dr. Mera removed his sunglasses, revealing a set of very green feline eyes. "I'm not just the founder of Splicing, I'm also a client." He then smiled, showing a set of unusually sharp teeth.


The interview finished, the news report continued with the general effect of Splicing; turning a human into a part-animal to achieve varying looks and effects. A number of Spliced and non-Spliced people on the streets of London shared their own opinions with a roaming news crew, but on the whole, it seemed to Harry that Splicing was a cross between an all-purpose cure-all for physical shortcomings, and Hermione's little adventure with cat hairs and polyjuice potion back in their second year at Hogwarts.


As a veritable parade of Spliced individuals were briefly questioned, Harry's interest was piqued when a woman with cat-like eyes praised the process for curing her vision problems, and he slipped off his chunky glasses and glared at them while a bear-man flexed his newly bulging biceps for the camera.


'We can't say much about you-know-what, obviously... we've been told not to say anything important in case our letters go astray... we're quite busy but I can't give you any details here...' The whole summer had been spent waiting for news from his 'friends', waiting to be rescued from the Dursleys, and all he got from them was vague promises and half-hearted reassurances.


"I'd say it's about bloody time I stopped waiting for other people to help me out around here, and about time I started doing something about it myself." Peeking back into the loungeroom, Harry grinned as the address of several Splicing Centers was rattled off, as well as the news that they were open until late at night.


Ignoring a sudden cracking sound and a yowling cat, Harry shoved his way out of the garden and made his way inside, strolling casually past his older relatives, both of whom were bitching and moaning about this whole new brand of freakishness invading their bland little lives. He made it to his room and retrieved his wand, tucking it into the pocket of his oversized, second-hand trousers, and heading back downstairs, planning his little excursion the whole way. 'First off, I'll need to get to Gringott's to exchange some Galleons for muggle cash...' Stepping into the kitchen, he froze at the sight of his uncle's hefty wallet parked quietly on the kitchen table. '...no, I couldn't steal, not even from Uncle Vernon.' He blinked, then shook his head. 'Of course I could steal from bloody Vernon! Lock me in a cupboard, will he?!' Luckily, Vernon always considered it a point of pride that his wallet was bulging with cash, so he wouldn't miss the two hundred pounds that the young wizard slipped from the wallet (particularly when you factored in Dudley's 'borrowing').


With a bounce in his step the Boy-Who-Lived left Number 4 and headed for a quiet little back-street, plucking his wand from his pocket and holding it high. He barely even flinched when a purple triple-decker exploded into sight.





BING!


Stepping inside as the automatic doors slid open, Harry studied the waiting room of Splicing Inc. It looked a little like the waiting room of the Doctor's Office Petunia had occasionally deigned to take him to in his childhood, only much newer and more modern. The young catgirl filing her her claws at the desk was also a pretty big difference. Somewhat nervously, Harry walked up to the counter.


The catgirl - Stacy, judging by her nametag - glanced up as he approached smiling broadly. "Hello there! Looking to get Spliced?"


Somewhat nervously, Harry nodded.


"Do you have an appointment?"


Wincing, Harry shook his head. "Sorry, but no, I don't."


Narrowing her eyes, the marmalade-furred female studied him carefully. "How old are you?"


"I turned fifteen a couple of days ago."


Stacy hmm'd in thought, checking the computer before shrugging dismissively. "Well, there aren't any more clients booked for today, so I guess we can squeeze you in." She rummaged around in a drawer before pulling out a pen, several sheets of paper, and a clipboard. "Just fill these out, then we can get started."


Taking the forms, Harry sat down in a chair and looked them over. The questions seemed innocent enough; name, date of birth, address, any allergies, medical history, and a few multiple choice questions regarding where he had learned about Splicing and weather or not he'd been Spliced before. Finishing the whole process off inside of half an hour, Harry handed in he paperwork, then spent several minutes watching as the catgirl entered it all into her computer.


"Well, it looks like it all checks out." She grinned up at the wizard, her sharp teeth somehow NOT ruining the cheery image as she pointed down a hallway. "Just go straight through to Splicing Room 1 and wait for Doctor Rackam, and he should be with you in a couple of minutes. Good luck, and I can't wait to see the new you!"





After a little waiting in the operating room, the door swung open with a BANG!, and a tall, disheveled man with rabbit ears and a labcoat quickly slammed the door behind himself, locking it and slumping to the floor. The brief mewling and scratching at on the other side made him shiver, and he breathed a sigh of relief as it stopped. "...damn that insatiable woman." Climbing to his feet, the Doctor began straightening out his clothing and smoothing out his soft, white fur. "So, Mr Potter, I presume? Oh, and I'm Doctor Rackam, as I'm sure young Stacy has told you."


Harry coughed to stifle his snickering. "Uh, your barn door is open."


"Hmm?" The bunny man glanced down, then jumped in shock, doing up his fly at a potentially dangerous speed. "Sorry about that. Gaining a new form through splicing naturally adds a certain curiosity about one's new body, and given the added energy most people experience...well, 'experimentation' is common."


"...I see..."


Clapping his hands, the good doctor dropped himself into the seat in front of a computer and booted it up. "So, my good man, what are you in for today?"


"Well, I'd like to get my eyes fixed, for starters..." He blushed a little self conciously. "...maybe make myself a little taller and add some more muscle."


Chuckling, the Doctor picked up a digital scanner. "Nothing to be ashamed of, young man; you seem like a fit enough specimen, and genetics can stifle even the most determined efforts to get into shape. I for one used to be not a little overweight, and no amount of dieting and exercising could get rid of my extra girth. Thank god for Splicing..." He took a quick snap of Harry, then plugged the scanner into the computer. "That little scan will give me a picture of what we've got to work with, as well as a computer model of yourself for us to tinker around with before we get into the actual procedure." As the scan finished loading, the Doctor's eyes widened considerably. "My word!"


Harry frowned. "What?"


"...if I didn't know better, I'd swear you had already been Spliced with equine DNA." The bunnyman shook his head, amused. "That's one part of you we won't be tinkering with, at least. Unless you want to severely injure any future girlfriends..." He finished that last bit in an undertone.


"I'm sorry, what was that?"


"Oh nothing, just mumbling to myself, as any mad scientist will. Anyway, with regards to your desired changes, ie, muscles and eyes, I think a feline of some sort will be a good match, possibly a melanistic jaguar, given your natural hair coloration."


"A what jaguar?"


"A melanistic jaguar, also known as a black panther." Typing away at the keyboard, the good doctor made the necessary changes (and added pants) before turning the screen to face the patient. "This is what you'd look like with the maximum amount of alteration."


Staring at the image of himself with a panther's head and black fur, not to mention utterly ripped with muscle, Harry was reminded of several pictures he'd once seen in school of Egyptian gods. "I was thinking something a little more human looking."


Turning the screen back to himself, Rackam made a few alterations before showing them off. "This is what you'd look like as an almost-human, with just feline eyes, claws, and slighly elongated canines, with some added muscle."


"...hmmm..." That was a better look, in Harry's opinion. He certainly didn't look like someone Malfoy would screw around with, and claws were pretty tempting, if potentially high maintainance.


A beeping sound drew both men's attention, and Doctor Rackam cursed as he fished a mobile phone out of the pockets of his coat. "Sorry, Harry, but I should take this outside. Feel free to mess around with the settings, see what looks good." With that, Harry was left alone again.


He was pretty sold on the image already on the screen, but something was nagging at him; some people on the news had gotten themselves Spliced with DNA from their pets. He wouldn't mind being closer to his first companion, but he didn't know how Hedwig would take it, and he didn't think any wings he had grown onto his body would allow him to fly; the human body just wasn't made for flight. It was too heavy, for one thing.


A sudden flash of inspiration shot through Harry's head, and he grinned to himself. 'Oh...that is good!'





Hundreds of miles away, in the office of a certain meddlesome Headmaster, the phoenix known as Fawkes cocked his head. The young human whom he had helped to slay Slytherin's monster was calling to him...the young man needed his presence once more. Glancing around the empty office at all of the sleeping portraits, the eternal firebird gave an avian equivalent of a shrug and burst into flames, leaving Hogwarts and reappearing in all of his splendor before the Boy-Who-Lived. Despite his vast age, Fawkes was a little confused on arrival; the child was not in harm's way. The phoenix was also more than a little disturbed by the predatory gleam in the boy's emerald eyes.


"...hello, Fawkes."





Stepping back into the room and closing the door, the rabbit Splice apologised for the interruption. "Sorry about that, Harry. Now where were...what happened to you!?"


Despite his clothes being torn, and all of the scratches over his arms, Harry was grinning like a loon. "Oh, nothing. Tell me, do you think you can do anything with this?" He held out his hand, showing off a single, gleaming, red and gold feather.





Well, theres the first chapter. I've already got about a dozen more to add (I've been posting them on a Yahoo group) so there should be plenty to read by the time I'm finished.


Cypher3au
Sign up to rate and review this story