Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Gene-Spliced Harry

Chapter 3

by Cypher3au 3 reviews

Alternate Order of the Phoenix. Harry is, quite naturally, a little ticked off at his friends and the Headmaster. Muggle science has developed a way to splice animal DNA into humans. Fawkes has ...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Sci-fi - Characters: Fleur, Harry, Tonks - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-05-26 - Updated: 2006-05-26 - 2103 words

5Funny
Chants Me likie Tonksie, Me likie Tonksie... End Chant





It was with a broad grin that Harry strode up the path to Number 4's front door and shoved it open, not even bothering to hide his approach. It was with a slightly less broad grin that he studied the numerous wands pointed at various sections of his anatomy by the mass of wizards and witches. Of particular note was the cute purple-haired witch pointing her wand at his crotch, and- "Professor Lupin, Professor Moody. Fancy meeting you two here."


Several people relaxed their guard, but Moody, in typical Moody fashion, was unwavering in his paranoia. "How do we know you're the real Potter?"


Harry arched an eyebrow. "How do I know you're the real Moody?"


Moody grunted in mild approval, and Remus stepped forward, his voice slightly hoarse. "Harry, what form does your Patronus take?"


Seeing where this was going, Harry sighed. "A stag, not that it really helps; I cast that spell in front of the entire school in my third year, remember?"


Frowning, Remus tried again. "What is the password to access the Marauder's Map?"


"Wormtail is Voldemort's bitch, Moony. That question doesn't help either."


Flinching at Voldemort's name, and ignoring a number of yelps and flinches from his companions, it took the werewolf a minute to think up a more foolproof question. "...why did I give the Marauder's Map back to you?"


Harry nodded approvingly. "Much better question. You gave it back because you were no longer my teacher, and you didn't feel quilty about doing so. Now that that's settled, I've got a couple of questions of my own."


As most of the wand-wavers relaxed, and the whole group moved into the kitchen, Remus was the one to speak. "How can I prove my identity to you?"


Harry waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, I know it's you. What I want to know is; who are the rest of these perverts, and why have they suddenly decided to stop crawling around in the bushes and peeping on me at all hours?"


Most of the group laughed, though Remus coughed several times, and a stately-looking witch looked distinctly affronted. A tall, bald, black wizard chuckled deeply. "Definitely James' son."


A wheezy-voiced, silver-haired whizard added his his two knuts. "Lily's eyes, though."


Snickering slightly, Harry shook his head. "Not exactly, not anymore."


Moody grunted, apparently the only one who'd REALLY been paying attention. "Cat eyes. Looks like phoenix wings, too. What have you been up to, boy?"


The spliced teen shrugged. "I went to a Splicing Centre. It's a pretty recent muggle thing, but I had my genes rearranged and tinkered with. I'm now part-panther; giving me an improved physique and perfect, cat-like vision, and part-phoenix, giving me these beauties." He stretched his wings out as wide as he could in the cramped room, silencing the rest of the group as they took in the sight of his magnificent new plumage.


The purple-haired young woman stepped forward, hesitating slightly, before running her fingers over Harry's feathers after a nod from the teen in question. "...wow..."


"Cool, eh?"


Remus pulled his jaw off the floor. "Harry... how is this even possible?"


The Boy-Who-Lived shrugged. "Some muggles have been working on it for decades, and they finally perfected it and set up centres where the general public can get altered. Hey, maybe you should go in and take a look, Moody."


The former Auror stopped fiddling with his magic eye, to fix his normal eye on the Spliced teen. "And why should I do that, Potter?"


"One of the main reasons they came up with the process was to help guys like you. You know how some smaller lizards can regrow lost limbs?"


"...I'd rather stick with one leg than be turned into a lizard man."


The woman stroking Harry's feathers snickered. "Get 'em to turn you into a chameleon man; you'll be able to blend in with your surroundings, and you'll be able to look all over the place with BOTH eyes!"


Shaking away the image of a green-skinned, massively-eyed Moody screaming 'Constant Vigilance!' and snapping up insects with his tongue, Harry corrected the old Auror's misconceptions. "Just get them to change you back into a full human once you grow your new leg. This isn't necessarily permanent, you know."


Shelving the idea for later consideration, Moody yanked out his magical eye with a sickening slurp-pop and stomped over to the sink, snatching a glass off of a rack and filling it with tap water. "I take it the reason you weren't here is because you were out getting...'Spliced', was it?"


"Yeah, pretty much."


Remus shook his head. "Harry, that was very dangerous; there have been Dementor sightings throughout London all day."


Cat eyes blinked in surprise. "Huh... the Dark Lord?"


The Marauder shrugged helplessly. "We don't know, but we've decided to move you to a more secure location."


The part-phoenix grinned. "Great! If I had to stay imprisoned in this crappy little house, forced to be a house-elf for just one more day, I would have had to hurt somebody."


A number of magical individuals suddenly looked very guilty.


Harry noticed. "Get out. Now."


Remus winced. That was an almost exact replica of Lily's patented 'I'm-pissed-the-fuck-off' tone of voice. "Harry..."


The teen pointed to the hallway, his face showing nothing but distinct annoyance. "The front door is that way. Use it."


Moody plucked his eye out of a glass of water and shoved it back into his head, but kept his back to everyone else as he spoke up. "Kid, we're already members of an illegal vigilante group. A little kidnapping isn't going to get us in much more trouble if we're caught."


The purple-haired woman winced and stepped back, having stopped brushing Harry's feathers a short while ago; they'd grown much too hot to touch. "You didn't have to put it that way, Moody."


"The lad deserves to know the truth. I'm not convinced Dumbledore is right in keeping him here, or in bringing him to the house, but it'll have to do until this mess with the Dementors is sorted out. Now, Harry, are we going to do this the easy way, or the hard way?"


Crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter, Harry braced himself for the inevitable. "I'm sure as hell not going to make this any easier for you."


Moody shrugged. "Fair enough." He whipped around and flicked his wand with shocking speed, blasting off a stunner.


Harry dodged to the side, folding his wings back against his back, and swore as he found himself in the path of a second Stunner. Dropping underneath said second Stunner, he swore again as he found himself a hair away from a THIRD Stunner, with no room and no time to dodge.





"...you alright there, Harry?"


Staring up at the sea of familiar and unfamiliar concerned faces, Harry rolled his eyes. "Not in the slightest. Where the hell am I?"


Sirius Black, Azkaban escapee and canine animagus, grabbed Harry's arm and hauled him to his feet, before handing him a small scrap of paper. "Here, read this."


"The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London. So?"


Sirius grinned. "So, you're in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, which can be found at number twelve Grimmauld Place, London."


A snide voice cut through anybody else's speech. "I see your mental prowess is as dull as ever, Potter."


Harry nudged aside several people until he could get a good look at the Potions Master, seated arrogantly at what appeared to be a dining table in the grim kitchen-slash-dining room that everyone was occupying. "Hey Snape, you should look into getting that rod removed from your arse; the shit's starting to dribble out every time you flap your stupid gums."


Most tried to conceal their snickering, though Sirius gave a loud, barking laugh as Severus Snape colored angrily. "You should show more respect to your betters, Potter; you might find yourself in dire straits otherwise."


"Seriously, there's crap, right there on your lips." Harry helpfully pointed out the affected area on his own face.


Such helpful insight was evidently not appreciated, and Snape shot to his feet, drawing his wand in one sharp, practised movement, and levelled it at the bane of his existance.


Once again, a voice interrupted any further conversation or action, only this time it was elderly and chiding. "Harry, there is no need to antagonise Professor Snape. We are all on the same side, here."


Harry frowned. "Funny, I don't recall ever having the Dark Mark tattooed on my arm."


Professor Snape sneered, as most Slytherins were taught to do to show their displeasure. "Headmaster, I think it would be best if the spoiled brat were to leave the room so that we can begin the meeting."


Harry blinked and twitched, as a spark of knowledge clicked in his head unexpectedly. "You know what, Snape? I couldn't agree with you more."


*FWOOSH! FWOOSH! GRAB FWOOSH*


Before everyone's eyesight could recover from being dazzled by several bursts of flame, one last fire burst deposited Harry James Potter onto the dining room table, minus one Professor and plus one massive grin.


Apparently unfazed by Harry's new ability, but still sighing wearily, Dumbledore fixed the lightning-scarred student with an educator's disciplainary stare. "Where did you take Professor Snape, Harry?"


Harry tapped his chin thoughfully. "Hmm, maybe... sixty... seventy feet above the school lake."


Though Sirius burst into laughter once more, the Headmaster was not amused in the slightest. "Such a fall could seriously injure a man, Harry. I must confess, I am very disappointed by your behaviour."


Harry studied his fingernails, completely uncaring of Dumbledore's disapproval. "Not nearly as disappointed as I am of your behaviour, old man."


The former transfiguration Professor eyed the teen for a long moment before simply popping out of the room, choosing not to persue the matter in favour of hunting down and taking care of his spy.


In the silence, Molly Weasley swelled up, working up a full head of steam, before she was derailed by Harry hopping off the table and slipping past her.


"Hey Sirius, up for a little Godfather-Godson bonding?"


The part-time dog nodded eagerly. "You betcha! What did you have in mind?"





In one of the many studies in his vast manor, Lucius Malfoy was taking the time to relax after a long day of wheeling, dealing, and manipulating. The Dark Lord was a difficult creature to placate at the best of times, and it had taken a great many promises to survive his wrath. Once more, Lucius was placed in the uncomfortable position of making his own immediate needs secondary to his 'Master's' desires. "...why couldn't he just stay dead?"


*FWOOSH*


The blonde man's gaze snapped up from the newspaper in his hands to the merrily crackling fireplace, but the green flames of the Floo were curiously absent. After several long, tense moments, the Inner Circle Death Eater slowly relaxed, straightening out his newspaper and getting ready to read.


*CRUNCH!*


As the tall blonde slumped to the floor, unbelievably unconcious, two grinning, beater's bat wielding figures whipped off their invisibility cloaks. "Looks like you were right; that WAS pretty damned easy."


Harry plucked the Malfoy Patriarch's wand off of the floor and snapped it in one easy movement. "Kinda makes you wonder why the old man hasn't already done this."


Sirius shrugged. "Maybe he thinks it's unethical, or that he's too old to go getting his hands dirty?"


"Those are pretty weak excuses." Taking hold of the unconscious wizard, Harry disappeared in a burst of fire, but reappeared empty-handed almost immediately. "So, who's next on the list?"


Yanking a scrap of parchement from his pocket, Sirius struck out 'Lucius Malfoy' with his wand, and checked the name beneath it. "Sidious Nott."


"He was on page 386 of the road directory, right?"


"Let me take a look." A quick look at the thick, offered book, and Sirius nodded. "Yep, that's where Nott Manor is located."


Harry tucked the road directory away in his Hogwarts book bag and picked up his faithful invisibility cloak before holding out his hand. "Shall we?"


Sirius' hand grabbed Harry's in a suprisingly strong grip given the length of his incarceration and his relatively brief period of recovery. "We shall."


*FWOOSH*





There ya go; Chapter 3. Harry put up more of a fight than he did in the original chapter, but that was the biggest change; every other change was just a minor edit.


Cypher3au
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