Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Monster Hunter Potter

Hoggy Warty Hogwarts

by BaronDracniil 1 review

And Hogwarts makes an appearance... Sorting, anyone?

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2011-05-25 - Updated: 2011-05-25 - 3083 words

1Original
Age guide this term: Harry, Daniel and Stella: 13
Harley, Harriet and Amy: 11
Teddy:12
Orion: 10
Liliana: 9

Oh, and Daniel, Stella and Teddy are all Gryffs.
Previously: The following morning, Albus Dumbledore got a surprise. Many people were awed by his use of a phoenix to deliver mail, but even he never expected to see a juvenile Hypnocatrice delivering a letter.
Professor Dumbledore,
Hello sir, I'm Harry Potter. I believe that we got acquainted a couple of days ago. I have knowledge of magic, yes but I believe that my education is sadly lacking. Mum and I have an agreement. She'll pay for half my schooling needs and I'll pay for the other half. So, um, would it be possible for me to attend…er, Hogwarts, is it? This term?
Sincerely,
Harry James Potter
Albus smiled and popped a lemon drop on his mouth. He always loved children and their education was one of the most important things to Albus. He quickly scribbled an affirmative and gave it to the waiting wyvern. If that boy uses a wyvern to deliver mail and managed to invent a helpful potion, then he's going to enjoy the chaos that would ensue this year. It was times like these when he remembered the Marauders. He always enjoyed their pranks…
Chapter 3
Harry followed his mentor as they trudged up the snowy mountains. Today, harry is taking his test to get promoted to Hunter Rank 5, slaying a Tigrex. Although how they’re going to even see the Tigrex in this damn snowstorm is still unknown to Harry.

The red headed man who took care of him and trained him these past four years stopped in the middle of the blizzard, his right hand gripping the Red Wing, a massive sword crafted purely from Rathalos scales. His left hand was raised in the universal sign language meaning “Halt!”.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, after catching his breath.

His mentor just grunted and pulled out the sword. Frowning, Harry brought down his earth crystal goggles to his eyes and squinted. He could barely make out a shape in the furious snowstorm. It was almost summer, for heaven’s sake! Even the snowy mountains should be calm in summer times! Then, realization dawned.

Unnatural storms, a massive shape in the middle of the storm and his usually cheerful and energetic mentor acting like he had a stick up his ass. The shadowy figure in front of them stretched its wings and roared.

“Run, kid. I’ll hold it off.” His mentor said seriously. And he is never serious! But Harry knew why. They were facing a Kushala Daora. An Elder Dragon. And very few have survived an Elder Dragon attack. And those are usually part of large hunting groups. They were so screwed.

The snow cleared but the wind was still whipping around them furiously. Harry could see the glistening metal coat, the razor sharp fangs, the steel plated wings. His mentor, Evan Dracniil, grinned.

“Be well, kid.”

The next few moments were a blur as the wind roared even louder than before, throwing Harry into a stone wall, where he slumped, blood trickling down his forehead.

Harry woke up to see a limping Kushala Daora staring at him hungrily, its approach slowed by the obvious injury on its right hind leg. He gulped, and averted his gaze only for it to land on the downed form of Evan. His right arm was mutilated and his torso looked like it was run over by a thousand thestrals. Evan Dracniil, the person who took him in, the one who always laughed in the face of danger, the one who taught him ALMOST everything he knew, was dead.

Harry’s eyes flared green in anger. His body was radiating power and even the Elder Dragon hesitated to get closer. With a yell, Harry’s magic released itself. For the next two minutes, Harry felt unspeakable pain before drifting into unconsciousness.

The people of the village who saw the bright green flash from the summit rushed over to see what the hell was going on, only to find an unconscious boy, a dead hunter and a dead Elder Dragon…

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Harry woke up, coated in sweat and shaking. It was one of his more prominent nightmares, one where Trish usually sprays him with sleep inducing saliva to get him to sleep again. He looked around and panicked upon seeing the unfamiliar surroundings. Remembering that he is in the Potter Manor, with his blood family, he tried to get his heartbeat under control. He fingered his wand for comfort and looked at the clock. 5:49.

‘Trish isn’t here. So much for sleep.’ He thought. Deciding to make his time productive and not really in the mood for warm ups, Harry entered the kitchen and started cracking eggs.

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Lily woke up to the smell of bacon. Frowning slightly, she got up from the bed and looked around. She made her way down the stairs to kitchens, pondering on the identity of the mysterious cook. The only ones she knew that could cook was herself and Stella, but the Blacks were at their home.

She entered the kitchen to be greeted by the sight of her eldest son, wearing a white apron and whistling as he scrambled eggs.

“Harry?” Harry turned to her and smiled.

“Good morning.” He replied.

“You cook?” Lily asked. Harry simply nodded.

They ate breakfast in silence, while waiting for the others to wake up. They were supposed to go to Diagon Alley today to get the children’s school stuff.

Twenty minutes later, Nymphadora and Teddy stumbled sleepily out of the fireplace.

“Mornin’.” mother and son said simultaneously before yawning at the same time.

“Where’s Moony?” Lily asked them.

“Full moon last night, Lils.”

“Poor Remus. Is he okay?”

Two hours of conversation later, and the kitchen was the usual warfare. Everyone was present other than Remus who was catching up on sleep.

“Ready to go guys?” James yelled over the din as the Potter-Lupin-Black family, excluding Remus, gathered in front of the fireplace. The room was filled with shouts of assent and Teddy had to cover his ears because Harley was beside him.

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Harry looked around. Diagon Alley was different from Vertick Alley. The Wizarding population in their area was low because magic doesn’t work on wyverns and they find the idea of dragging around large swords appalling. Diagon Alley, however, was bustling with activity. Most people, however, were flocking to his brother, the Boy-Who-Lived. Poor Daniel, he thought.

Their first stop was Flourish and Blotts. Just like last year, Gilderoy Lockheart was having a book signing. How an incompetent buffoon like that managed to last the entire year and still be the teacher this year was anyone’s guess. Harley and Amy squealed and got into the line. Daniel rolled his eyes.

Everything was going smoothly, until Gilderoy decided to feel up a certain Stella Black, who yelped indignantly as the idiot just grinned cheekily and told her that she should be honored and stuff like that. Normally, Harry would glare at him and give him a warning. But normally, Harry does not have a bloodthirsty voice in his head that messes up his sense of protectiveness. Said voice was screaming, “DIE, BUFFOON, DIE!”.

And so, Gilderoy found himself unconscious after being thrown into a rather large bookshelf. The Defense Against the Dark Arts curse has claimed another victim.

Stella was blushing furiously as the women who saw the entire ordeal, was yelling at the unconscious idiot. Apparently, Lockheart now has a lot of EX fangirls. Even Harley and Amy was pissed at their ex hero. Harry, however, found himself being congratulated by the others.
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Ollivander gave Harry the creeps. Hoping that not all wandmakers end up like that, mainly because Harry made his own wand, Harry listened as his two sisters and Amy got their wands.
Harley got a fourteen inch cedar wood wand with a unicorn tail hair as its core. Ollivander said that it is a rather…energetic wand, made specifically for energetic users. Harriet got a birch wand with a unicorn tail hair core, effective in protective magic. Amy had an oak wand with a dragon heartstring core, suitable for charms work.

“Ah, Mr. Potter, you are a bit late for Hogwarts, yes?” Ollivander said as he rummaged with the boxes. Harry nodded.

“Yes sir, but I already have a wand.” He replied. Ollivander looked at him curiously.

“May I see it?” he asked. Everyone looked on curiously. No one but Harry knew what his wand was made of and they were curious.

The old wandmaker eyed the mossy green wand carefully, his eyebrows raised.

“Quite unique, Mr. Potter. Nine inches, dragonwood and…my word!” Ollivander exclaimed, surprising everybody. Ollivander rarely used expletives.

“Is there a problem, Mr. Ollivander?” Lily asked him, worried that her son had a faulty wand or something like that.

“No, no, Mrs. Potter. The wand is perfectly crafted. The core, however… I didn’t think I’d see one of these in my lifetime!”

James and Sirius looked at each other. Daniel, Teddy and Orion watched apprehensively. Harley and Amy fidgeted. Lily looked worried. Stella was watching Harry, who was shuffling his feet. Sapphire looked curious. Harriet was, as usual, impassive. Liliana just watched the others.

“Nine inches, dragonwood with a fang of a Kushala Daora, dipped in Mr. Potter’s own blood…” Ollivander finished. Gasps all around and Lily…fainted. Harry just found the floor utterly fascinating.

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“You made that wand?” James asked for the thousandth time. All of them were having dinner and Remus was filled in on Harry’s unique wand.

“Yeah.” Harry replied, wishing that he brought his cloak downstairs to hide his face. Lily finally stammered out.

“H-how?”

“Well, I, um…er…that’s…well, I made it.” He finished lamely.

Daniel snorted into his pudding and Teddy laughed. The tension eased.

“You’re a wandmaker?” Lily prompted. Harry shook his head.

“No, mine was the only wand I made.” He replied, swallowing his nervousness. Best get this over with.

After several hours of questions, clarifications, swearing (on Daniel’s part when Teddy dumped pudding on his head) and blushing, Remus finally made his announcement.

“Okay, erm, because of certain…accidents,” he started, looking meaningfully at Harry, ‘Professor Dumbledore owled me about his lack of Defense teachers, so…” he was cut off when Harley squeezed him to death, Daniel choked on the chicken, Teddy choked on water, Orion choked on air, Amy beamed and Stella congratulated him. Harry was clueless.

“I don’t get it…”

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September 1 found Platform 9 ¾ filled with noisy magical children. Daniel found a compartment with Ron and Teddy while Harley and Amy dragged Harry and Stella to one compartment, Harriet following calmly. Liliana was crying because Harry was leaving.

“You’re not even going to miss me?” Daniel asked her. She shook her head.

“I m-m-miss Har-harry!” she cried. Harry looked at her apologetically, as Harley practically threw him into the train.

“Bye, Ann. I’ll see you on Christmas! I’ll send you a letter!” he called out.

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Harley and Amy were grinning evilly. They arranged themselves in the compartment so that Stella, who was currently the vibrant red of a tomato, would be sitting beside Harry, who was clueless as ever. Harriet just rolled her eyes, before opening the Standar Book of Spells, Grade 1.

The door opened and Daniel and Teddy poked their heads in.

“Hey guys, me and Teddy are sitting with Ron third compartment from the back, okay?” Daniel said. Harry nodded.

“It’s ‘Teddy and I’, birdbrain.” Harriet drawled. Daniel rolled his eyes and closed the door.

“So, what do you like in a girl, Harry?” Harley asked her brother while Amy was giggling. Stella glared at them. Harry blinked.

“I haven’t thought about it yet.” Harry replied, looking thoughtful.

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McGonagall called out the names of the first years. Amy, being a Black, fidgeted as she waited for her turn. Why, oh why, does her name have to start with a ‘B’?

“Black, Amethyst!”

‘Calm down, Amy. You can do this. Deep breaths, deep breaths, deeper breaths.’

She sat down on the uncomfortable excuse for a chair and plopped the hat down on her head.

Another Black, eh? Said a voice in her head.

When I sorted your sister, I was surprised that the old dog actually settled down… Ah, sweet and innocent on the outside but a prankster at heart? You’re just like your father. Luckily, your sister was a rather calm type. Anyways, there’s only one place for the new Marauders…GRYFFINDOR!

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“Potter, Harley!” McGonagall called out.

“Potter, did she say?”

“Is she related to Daniel potter?”

Did you know that Daniel Potter had a sister?”

Let’s see here, shall we? Ah, a feisty one, are you?

“Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor…” was Harley’s reply. The hat sighed.

Please stop that annoying noise…

“Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor…”

I- “Gryffindor”-must-“Gryffindor”-insist-“Gryffindor”-that you pipe down!

The hat yelled the last part and the Hall went silent. Then…

“Nice one, sis!” Daniel called out. Laughter ensued.

The hat grumbled about chatterboxes before calling out, “GRYFFINDOR!”

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“Potter, Harriet!”

“Another Potter?”

“Twins?”

Harriet just walked calmly towards the stool, ignoring the whispers. She sat down stiffly (this caught Percy’s attention.) and put on the hat.

What’s this? The second Black hides her Marauder-ness beneath her innocent act while you hide your devious mind behind your ice queen mask? Slytherin would fit you…

The hat didn’t get to finish its sentence because Harriet growled, rather audibly too, as the students near the stool backed away.

“Put me in there and I’ll leave you at Uncle Padfoot’s mercy.” She thought back. The hat gulped.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

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Albus Dumbledore stood up and the Hall quieted down. He was still thinking about Harry Potter. The boy took no magical education but the tests say that he is on par with the third years, so third year he will be.

“Now, before we dig in to our wonderful feast, I would like to announce that we have another student to be Sorted. He is going to be in his third year.”

Whispers broke out as theories on the identity of the new student were exchanged. Daniel and Teddy snorted when they heard someone suggest that it the Headmaster’s son. Harley and Amy were spreading around rumors that the new guy was actually half-troll. Stella smacked them on the head and whispered, “He is not a troll!” Her dorm mates, Lavender Brown and Parvait Patil, heard this.

“Oooh, somebody’s got a crush! So, who is it?” Lavender teased. Stella turned bright red and refused to say anything.

“Potter, Harry!”

Silence.

Utter silence.

Then more whispering.

“You have a crush on Daniel’s long lost brother?” Parvati asked Stella, a wide grin gracing her face.

On the other side of the table, Ron and Hermione were pestering Daniel.

“You didn’t tell us that your brother would be here!”

“What is he like?”

“I met him already Hermione, he seems to be a cool guy.”

“Really? Well, I hope he takes grades more seriously than you two.”

Daniel rolled his eyes at the bickering. Seriously, they should just snog and be done with it.

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“Potter, Harry!”

Harry approached the stool, deafened by the silence around him. As soon, as he put on the hat, whispers broke out but he couldn’t make out the words because someone else spoke to him.

The long lost Potter?

Harry was tempted to roll his eyes. Duh!

The hat must have caught that thought because it chuckled.

Let me see… A hunter, eh? That means a lot of things. Courage in the face of danger, loyalty to friends and family…scratch loyalty, that’s a fierce determination to protect them…interesting. Resourcefulness and quite intelligent too. Eh? You’re cunning but not quite ambitious, so where to put you?

Of course, a certain ferret named Draco Malfoy just had to butt in.

“Maybe he’s a squib! If not, then he’s a street rat! Must have lived eating the dirt on the road all these years!” he yelled, the Slytherins nodding their assent as Daniel, Teddy, Harley, Harriet, Amy and Stella glared holes on his face.

You know what? I think, I’ll let you choose. Where do you want to be?

I want to be with my family. Harry thought back without a second thought.

Extreme devotion…that’s a Hufflepuff trait…

You let me choose, I choose Gryffindor.

Very well...“GRYFFINDOR!”

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Harry sat down beside Stella, making Daniel and teddy snicker and Lavender and Parvati go ‘awww’. Stella blushed again.

“So, bro. You just going to let Malfoy insult you like that?”

I’ll let that slip, but if it’s my precious ones that he hurts, no force on this planet will save him from my wrath!

Harry shook his head before answering.

“Anger clouds the mind.” He replied. He knew this from personal experience.

Incredulous looks.

“You’re not going to get back at him?” Ron asked.

Harry shook his head. The bushy haired girl beside him beamed.

“At least, he’s not like you prats who would pick a fight with anyone.” She held out her hand.

“Hermione Granger.” Harry shook it.

“Harry Potter, but you can call me-.”

He was cut off when Fred and George approached them.

“Congratulations on making Gryffindor, Ri!” George said, shaking his hand pompously. Harry beamed at the use of his nickname.

“Simply spiffing to see you again, old boy.” Fred added before both of them walked away to sit with a boy with dreadlocks.

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Harry found himself stuck in the middle of a circle of third year Gryffindors.
“So, tell us about yourself, Harry. We want to know why Stella has a crush on you.” Parvati said bluntly. A red-faced Stella glared at her.
“She has a crush on me?” Harry asked. Sweatdrops all around.
“Typical boy…” Hermione said exasperated.
Daniel was about to comment when Neville Longbottom ran towards them, waving a newspaper in his right hand.
“Look at this guys!”
He dropped the newspaper in the middle of the circle where the headlines stood out.
“PETER PETTIGREW ESCAPES AZKABAN!”
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