FicWad

"Me?" she gasped.

"And Vil," I sighed and she let me go.

I fell back limply and everything around me was slowly blurring. Was I really going to die this time? Or maybe I'm just a fucking moron. I was just overthinking it. I wasn't going to die. I wasn't lucky enough...

"Why?" she squeaked. "Darlin', why would we make you suicidal?"

"Because the ones that I love never love me back the same..." I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, Harly. Nothing. Sometimes I just think that it would be better if I weren't in the way of everyone! It's not like I have any use in the world!"

"What makes you so special?" she snapped and I shot up as I looked at her. "You think that everyone but you has a place is this God-awful world? You think that you should just off yourself so that no one has to see you anymore? Well, here's a news flash for ya! You're no more special than any of the rest of us! And you think you should destroy yourself to make others happy? Do you realise what that would do to Vil? Or Sally? Or even me? Zia, I've loved you ever since the first day I met you! And you think I was making out with Vil because I love him? No! I was making out with him to get your fucking attention! I never expected you to lose it like this!"

I gasped and just stared at her, my eyes watering. Badly, I might add. I just shook my head and stood up. I took off the cloth, threw it on the floor, and wabbled out of the kitchen. I was literally swaying through the halls down to my room. I couldn't tell if it was from blood loss or from the fact that Harly just told me something so obvious that it actually hurt. As I neared the door, I reached for the doorknob, but instead fell onto the floor and just laid there. I wasn't going to move. Hell, I wasn't going to be leaving my room except for group now....I couldn't face Harly like this now. There was no possible way...

After about an hour of me laying there, someone finally noticed me.

"Zia!" a girl exclaimed.

I lifted my head and looked at the floor in front of me. There was a puddle of blood underneath my hand. I lifted it and looked at the gash. The blade had gotten me deeper than I thought. How long had I been bleeding? And I still hadn't stopped. The girl dropped beside me after a minute and wrapped something around my hand. I felt dizzy, so I laid my head back down and closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I was in a white room on an actually comfortable bed. I lifted my head and looked around then down at my hand. I realised that my arm was extended in front of me. There were stitches in my hand where the knife had sliced. Then, I looked behind me the best I could. I was all alone, with a bunch of beeping machines.

"Where the fuck am I?" I asked myself quietly.

I sat up and ran the fingers on my free hand through my hair. I kept glancing to each corner of the room and then down to my arm at the IV and the stitches. I traced the gash line with my free hand and then realised that I was in the hospital. Who was it that had fallen to their knees beside me when I was in the middle of the hallway?

The door opened, so I looked at it with jolt. A nurse walked in and smiled softly at me. She came over and set down a few pill bottles. She then opened them one-by-one, taking out certain tablets as she did. She poured them into my hand, closed the bottles, and handed me a tall glass of water. I slipped in the medications and drank them down. She then bowed slightly and left. I tilted my head at the now closed door.

"What. The. Fuck?" I squeaked.

I couldn't comprehend any of this. So, I stood as best as I could and dragged the IV stand with me. I opened the door and looked around. It wasn't the fucking hospital. It was just the hospital wing of Greyman's. I shook my head and walked down the hallway. I saw Vil, Harly, and Sally sitting in chairs in the "waiting room," and they were all asleep. I smiled and shook my hand. Vil's eyes fluttered open and he stretched before he realised that I was standing right in front of him. He gasped and jumped up, wrapping me in his arms tightly.

"Calm down there, stud," I chuckled and he pulled away, wiping his eyes as he did.

"They wouldn't let us in to see you!" he exclaimed. "We all thought you were dead! When Nurse White told us that you were here-"

"Lily?" I gasped.

"Yeah," Vil nodded. "She was the one who found you bleeding to death."

"Oh..." I had to process this one. I was pretty convinced she wanted me dead. Then again, she did work there to make sure I didn't kill myself...

"Anyway, I have to ask you, Zia, what it was that made you wanna kill yourself?"

"You really do not want to know," I shook my head, sending my hair flying in all different directions.

He grasped my arm and led me from the two sleeping girls. We walked outside into the fenced-in area right outside the medic ward and he helped me carry the IV stand across the grass to the bench beneath the tree. I sat down, as did he.

"Now, tell me, Zia," he said quietly as he gazed among the other injured and sickly mental patients.

"I'm surprised Harly didn't tell you," I sighed. "She was the one who caught me trying it..."

"Well, she wanted you to tell us yourself," he shrugged.

"Fine," I snapped. I softened my tone. "You aren't gonna wanna hear this, but it was because of you and Harly..."

"US?" he squeaked.

"When you two were making out," I shrugged and pulled my knees to my chest. "It hurt me, y'know? I think I love the girl..." He nodded in understanding. "But, I didn't say anything because you're my best mate and I didn't want to hurt you. I know you love her too..."

"I don't love her, though, Zia," he scoffed and I gasped, my eyes widening. "Sure, I have feelings for her, but I'm in love with someone else."

I nodded, suddenly feeling more guilty about trying to off myself. We sat there for a good ten minutes before heading back in. This was turning out to be the weirdest year of my entire fucking life...