Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Or Would it Be Forever
“Can you come home, honey? Linda is here and Mikey is a wreck and I just think it'll really help them if you were here, too.” Donna voice finally broke through Gerard's thoughts.
“Uh, mom, I dunno.” Gerard mumble, not really sure if he'd be the best company right now. He just wanted to curl up in a ball, drink, cry and sleep.
“Gerard, you're not going to come home?” Donna couldn't hide the surprise in her voice as it traveled through the phone.
“No, I have work tomorrow and I just started there so I can't be late. You know how that goes...” Gerard trailed off, lying nonchalantly. He didn't have work tomorrow and his mother knew that.
Sighing to herself, she let her head rest in her hand, closing her eyes. “You know, I've been lying a lot for you recently, Gerard.”
“Mom, I’m not..” Gerard started to retort but was cut off by his mother.
“Yes you are.” She took in a deep breath, swallowing back her tears. “Think of your brother, Gerard. His best friend is missing, and his brother just moved an hour away. He's alone here.” She paused letting this sink into her son's stubborn brain. “I don't know what happened between you and Frank, Gerard, and right now I really don't care. That boy loved you. The least you can do is come home and be with his mother. You know that if God forbid, something terrible happened to you, he'd be here with Mikey and I in a minute.”
Gerard sighed listening to the truth in his mothers words. There was this one time when Gerard and Frank had gotten into a huge fight, the older man was drunk and mouthy, attacking Frank.. So, Frank, acting too old for his age, took a deep breath and left his boyfriend's house, telling him he'd talk when Gerard could remember the conversation. He didn't want to get more upset with his boyfriend because he knew what his boyfriend's mouth was capable of saying when he was angry. That didn't sit well with Gerard and he followed Frank, after a short while of yelling at the empty couch where Frank was sitting, and didn't come home that night.
Donna ended up calling Frank in a frenzy at four in the morning and the younger, high school boy, jumped out of bed, on a school night, and rushed over the Way residence, assuring Donna that her son would come home. After hours of calling Gerard's friends and taking drives around the neighborhood, Gerard came home, hung over and cranky at eleven that same morning. Thanking Frank profusely, after suffocating her son with hugs and kisses, Donna ran off to work leaving the two boys alone.
Gerard remembered looking at Frank with a huge smile on his face, walking closer to the younger boy to wrap him in a hug when Frank stopped him. “I'm still mad at you, Gee.”
“Then why did you look for me?” Gerard had asked, suddenly defensive.
“Because your mother asked me to.” Frank retorted shortly before he started to head out of the door and he mumbled, “And because I was worried.” The small, tired boy turned around and looked at his stupid boyfriend. “I'm glad you're okay.” He whispered before walking out of the house, heading home, completely skipping his day at school.
As this memory rushed Gerard's head he could hear his mothers voice trying to break through his fogged mind and without even listening to what she was saying, he spoke, “Alright, I’ll be there in an hour.” With that, he hung up, not waiting for a response, getting dressed and heading out his apartment.
It took Gerard exactly an hour and thirty seven minutes to get to his mother's house. He had pulled over a few times and just stared out at the road. His mind wasn't ready to deal with this. He wasn't ready to deal with this. At one point he'd even turned around, but quickly turning into the next shopping center, making a u-turn in the parking lot, and heading back into the direction he was originally going.
Once he reached his mothers house, he pulled into the driveway, swallowing back the tears that were threatening to fall the entire care ride. Shutting off his car, he climbed out, walking the few feet to the front door, unlocking it with his key and heading inside. He was immediately greeted with the sight of Linda sobbing on the couch, being held by his mother, and Mikey staring idly out the back window, his knees curled to his chest. Closing his eyes as tears flooded them, he turned away from the heartbreaking scene in front of him, taking a minute to regain his composure. Once he was able to look at Frank's mother without breaking down, he walked over to her, sitting next to her and resting a large hand on her arm.
“He's gonna be okay, Linda.” The older, sad woman just nodded, obviously not believing Gerard's small attempt at comfort, but wrapped her arms around Gerard, tightly, sobbing harder into the soft cotton of his shirt.
Gerard had no choice but to hold her. He felt oddly uncomfortable being here, holding Frank's mother as she sobbed for the unknown.
“He loved you so much, Gerard.” She spoke after her sobs quieted a bit. “I remember when he first told me he was dating you.” She took a deep breath, smiling sadly. “He sat me down, real serious, right? Like he was going to tell me he got expelled or something. But he just looked at me and said, 'Ma, I found the greatest boy. And I’m gonna be with him forever. He's gonna be your son-in-law' and that's all he said. I didn't even know he was gay yet, he just dumped it all on me. But I couldn't do anything but be happy for him because he was smiling the biggest smile that I've ever seen and it's because of you, Gerard. You made my son so happy.” She finished, smiling with tears rolling down her cheeks.
As beautiful as her speech was, Gerard was flabbergasted. She was acted as if Frank was dead. Frank wasn't dead, he was just missing. They'd find him soon and he'd be okay. He'd have to be. Losing your lover only happened in books and in movies. Not in real life. Not in Gerard's life. He couldn't sit here and listen to them talk about his boyfriend like he was already buried six feet under.
“He's not dead.” He mumbled, sounding oddly childish. “He still loves me. I still make him happy. He's still alive.” He pulled away from Linda, standing up from the couch, staring at these two women in front of him.
“Honey.” He heard his mother say. “Remember when I told you that they had lost contact with Frank's troop a few weeks ago?” And he nodded, that part he heard. “Well, sweetheart, after a month the army stops the search. Sweetheart, it's been a month. Frankie isn't coming home.”He heard his mothers voice try to calm him but it didn't work. He got angry.
“What the fuck do you mean they stopped the search. They fucking sent him out there and let him get captured now they have to fucking find him! What the hell kind of bullshit is this?” He yelled, his arms flailing in anger.
“Gerard, please calm down, honey. There's nothing they can do.” Donna reasoned, standing up, resting a hand on her son's arm.
“Like hell there's not. They need to fucking find him.” Gerard yelled, his screams drowning out Linda's sobs.
“Gerard, stop. They've tried and they can't. It's over, honey. I’m sorry.”
“Well that's not fucking good enough for me.” Gerard yelled again, stepping away from his mother, walking out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He got into his car, starting it, pulling out of the driveway, tears streaming down his face. His boyfriend was not gone. He didn't care what the fucking army said. He was alive and he was coming home.
He drove for hours, circling around Jersey, not going back to Belleville and not going back to his apartment. He remembered when he and Frank used to take drives like this. Blasting the Misfit or the Smiths as they left reality behind them and just spent time together. Not needing to speak, just needing to be there with each other. He pulled onto a long deserted road and he smiled sadly to himself remembering when he and Frank came here. This was where he had taught Frank how to drive, the small boy was so nervous.
“Gee, I can't do this. What if I hit a tree and I kill you? Or kill me? Or kill us both? Our moms will kill us!” Frank said gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands, his knuckles turning white as he pressed the break hard, even though the car was in park. This caused Gerard to laugh. “And don't fucking laugh at me! I’m serious.”
“Frankie, ,you're not going to kill us. Just go slow, remember, you don't need a lot of pressure on the gas.” Frank made a small noise that was a mix between a cry and a 'yes'. “Alright,I'm going to put the car in drive for you. Is your foot on the break?” Frank nodded and Gerard shift the gears, until the car was in drive. “Alright, baby, take your foot off the break.” And Frank did, but once he felt the car moving on it's own he slammed down on it again, causing both men and jolt forward.
“Why the fuck is it moving by itself? I didn't put my foot on the gas!” Gerard laughed at his silly boyfriend.
“Baby, it does that, it's okay. Just slowly release your foot and move it to the gas. Then slowly press on the gas” Frank did as he was told, bitting his bottom lip in concentration as the car slowly moved, gaining speed as Frank pressed the tip of his sneaker on to the gas..
“Holy shit. I’m driving. Gee, I’m fucking driving!” Frank exclaimed, letting his excitement jerk the wheel and they swerved slightly into the middle f the deserted road, then yelling “Fuck!”, causing his older boyfriend to laugh.
Gerard smiled sadly at the memory of his boyfriend. This boy that he loved with all of his heart. The boy that he ignored and was angry at for a stupid thing like a dream. How could somebody be so stupid. He had lost months of talking to Frank thinking that he'd have his whole life with him. And now he didn't. He wouldn't have him ever again. He would never hold Frank in his arms and kiss him. He would never make love to the small man and watch as Frank's face contorted beautifully in pleasure, holding Gerard's body close to him. He would never tell Frank that he loved him. Because he loved him so much. He wouldn't see Frank grow up and live out his dreams. He wouldn't move in with Frank, he wouldn't get married to Frank. Everything Gerard had planned for the future, was gone along with Frank.
Little did Gerard, Linda, Donna, and Mikey know that Frank was still alive. Bruised, battered and beaten, but alive. They didn't know that Frank was fighting, being one of the three men left in his troop alive. The other seven men killed when they tried to attack back. They didn't know that he and his men had gotten word out and that at this very moment the team of American soldiers were storming the cave, killing the enemy, and saving the drained, starving, weak men of their country, pulling Frank and his team into one of their trucks speeding them to the base, getting them to a medic immediately. Yeah, the small family in Belleville, New Jersey, didn't know that as of tomorrow, Frank would be sent home on an honorable discharge.
Author's Note! :D
Well here you are!
Today is the anniversary of D-Day so I figured I had to post a chapter of this today and if you don't know what that is then........... google it! :D
Or just watch The Ghost of You video. The guys did a great interpretation of it.
Oh and I have a question for you all. Do you guys want me to stop after he comes home orrrrr should I keep going for a little bit longer?
Let me know! :D
“Uh, mom, I dunno.” Gerard mumble, not really sure if he'd be the best company right now. He just wanted to curl up in a ball, drink, cry and sleep.
“Gerard, you're not going to come home?” Donna couldn't hide the surprise in her voice as it traveled through the phone.
“No, I have work tomorrow and I just started there so I can't be late. You know how that goes...” Gerard trailed off, lying nonchalantly. He didn't have work tomorrow and his mother knew that.
Sighing to herself, she let her head rest in her hand, closing her eyes. “You know, I've been lying a lot for you recently, Gerard.”
“Mom, I’m not..” Gerard started to retort but was cut off by his mother.
“Yes you are.” She took in a deep breath, swallowing back her tears. “Think of your brother, Gerard. His best friend is missing, and his brother just moved an hour away. He's alone here.” She paused letting this sink into her son's stubborn brain. “I don't know what happened between you and Frank, Gerard, and right now I really don't care. That boy loved you. The least you can do is come home and be with his mother. You know that if God forbid, something terrible happened to you, he'd be here with Mikey and I in a minute.”
Gerard sighed listening to the truth in his mothers words. There was this one time when Gerard and Frank had gotten into a huge fight, the older man was drunk and mouthy, attacking Frank.. So, Frank, acting too old for his age, took a deep breath and left his boyfriend's house, telling him he'd talk when Gerard could remember the conversation. He didn't want to get more upset with his boyfriend because he knew what his boyfriend's mouth was capable of saying when he was angry. That didn't sit well with Gerard and he followed Frank, after a short while of yelling at the empty couch where Frank was sitting, and didn't come home that night.
Donna ended up calling Frank in a frenzy at four in the morning and the younger, high school boy, jumped out of bed, on a school night, and rushed over the Way residence, assuring Donna that her son would come home. After hours of calling Gerard's friends and taking drives around the neighborhood, Gerard came home, hung over and cranky at eleven that same morning. Thanking Frank profusely, after suffocating her son with hugs and kisses, Donna ran off to work leaving the two boys alone.
Gerard remembered looking at Frank with a huge smile on his face, walking closer to the younger boy to wrap him in a hug when Frank stopped him. “I'm still mad at you, Gee.”
“Then why did you look for me?” Gerard had asked, suddenly defensive.
“Because your mother asked me to.” Frank retorted shortly before he started to head out of the door and he mumbled, “And because I was worried.” The small, tired boy turned around and looked at his stupid boyfriend. “I'm glad you're okay.” He whispered before walking out of the house, heading home, completely skipping his day at school.
As this memory rushed Gerard's head he could hear his mothers voice trying to break through his fogged mind and without even listening to what she was saying, he spoke, “Alright, I’ll be there in an hour.” With that, he hung up, not waiting for a response, getting dressed and heading out his apartment.
It took Gerard exactly an hour and thirty seven minutes to get to his mother's house. He had pulled over a few times and just stared out at the road. His mind wasn't ready to deal with this. He wasn't ready to deal with this. At one point he'd even turned around, but quickly turning into the next shopping center, making a u-turn in the parking lot, and heading back into the direction he was originally going.
Once he reached his mothers house, he pulled into the driveway, swallowing back the tears that were threatening to fall the entire care ride. Shutting off his car, he climbed out, walking the few feet to the front door, unlocking it with his key and heading inside. He was immediately greeted with the sight of Linda sobbing on the couch, being held by his mother, and Mikey staring idly out the back window, his knees curled to his chest. Closing his eyes as tears flooded them, he turned away from the heartbreaking scene in front of him, taking a minute to regain his composure. Once he was able to look at Frank's mother without breaking down, he walked over to her, sitting next to her and resting a large hand on her arm.
“He's gonna be okay, Linda.” The older, sad woman just nodded, obviously not believing Gerard's small attempt at comfort, but wrapped her arms around Gerard, tightly, sobbing harder into the soft cotton of his shirt.
Gerard had no choice but to hold her. He felt oddly uncomfortable being here, holding Frank's mother as she sobbed for the unknown.
“He loved you so much, Gerard.” She spoke after her sobs quieted a bit. “I remember when he first told me he was dating you.” She took a deep breath, smiling sadly. “He sat me down, real serious, right? Like he was going to tell me he got expelled or something. But he just looked at me and said, 'Ma, I found the greatest boy. And I’m gonna be with him forever. He's gonna be your son-in-law' and that's all he said. I didn't even know he was gay yet, he just dumped it all on me. But I couldn't do anything but be happy for him because he was smiling the biggest smile that I've ever seen and it's because of you, Gerard. You made my son so happy.” She finished, smiling with tears rolling down her cheeks.
As beautiful as her speech was, Gerard was flabbergasted. She was acted as if Frank was dead. Frank wasn't dead, he was just missing. They'd find him soon and he'd be okay. He'd have to be. Losing your lover only happened in books and in movies. Not in real life. Not in Gerard's life. He couldn't sit here and listen to them talk about his boyfriend like he was already buried six feet under.
“He's not dead.” He mumbled, sounding oddly childish. “He still loves me. I still make him happy. He's still alive.” He pulled away from Linda, standing up from the couch, staring at these two women in front of him.
“Honey.” He heard his mother say. “Remember when I told you that they had lost contact with Frank's troop a few weeks ago?” And he nodded, that part he heard. “Well, sweetheart, after a month the army stops the search. Sweetheart, it's been a month. Frankie isn't coming home.”He heard his mothers voice try to calm him but it didn't work. He got angry.
“What the fuck do you mean they stopped the search. They fucking sent him out there and let him get captured now they have to fucking find him! What the hell kind of bullshit is this?” He yelled, his arms flailing in anger.
“Gerard, please calm down, honey. There's nothing they can do.” Donna reasoned, standing up, resting a hand on her son's arm.
“Like hell there's not. They need to fucking find him.” Gerard yelled, his screams drowning out Linda's sobs.
“Gerard, stop. They've tried and they can't. It's over, honey. I’m sorry.”
“Well that's not fucking good enough for me.” Gerard yelled again, stepping away from his mother, walking out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He got into his car, starting it, pulling out of the driveway, tears streaming down his face. His boyfriend was not gone. He didn't care what the fucking army said. He was alive and he was coming home.
He drove for hours, circling around Jersey, not going back to Belleville and not going back to his apartment. He remembered when he and Frank used to take drives like this. Blasting the Misfit or the Smiths as they left reality behind them and just spent time together. Not needing to speak, just needing to be there with each other. He pulled onto a long deserted road and he smiled sadly to himself remembering when he and Frank came here. This was where he had taught Frank how to drive, the small boy was so nervous.
“Gee, I can't do this. What if I hit a tree and I kill you? Or kill me? Or kill us both? Our moms will kill us!” Frank said gripped the steering wheel tightly in his hands, his knuckles turning white as he pressed the break hard, even though the car was in park. This caused Gerard to laugh. “And don't fucking laugh at me! I’m serious.”
“Frankie, ,you're not going to kill us. Just go slow, remember, you don't need a lot of pressure on the gas.” Frank made a small noise that was a mix between a cry and a 'yes'. “Alright,I'm going to put the car in drive for you. Is your foot on the break?” Frank nodded and Gerard shift the gears, until the car was in drive. “Alright, baby, take your foot off the break.” And Frank did, but once he felt the car moving on it's own he slammed down on it again, causing both men and jolt forward.
“Why the fuck is it moving by itself? I didn't put my foot on the gas!” Gerard laughed at his silly boyfriend.
“Baby, it does that, it's okay. Just slowly release your foot and move it to the gas. Then slowly press on the gas” Frank did as he was told, bitting his bottom lip in concentration as the car slowly moved, gaining speed as Frank pressed the tip of his sneaker on to the gas..
“Holy shit. I’m driving. Gee, I’m fucking driving!” Frank exclaimed, letting his excitement jerk the wheel and they swerved slightly into the middle f the deserted road, then yelling “Fuck!”, causing his older boyfriend to laugh.
Gerard smiled sadly at the memory of his boyfriend. This boy that he loved with all of his heart. The boy that he ignored and was angry at for a stupid thing like a dream. How could somebody be so stupid. He had lost months of talking to Frank thinking that he'd have his whole life with him. And now he didn't. He wouldn't have him ever again. He would never hold Frank in his arms and kiss him. He would never make love to the small man and watch as Frank's face contorted beautifully in pleasure, holding Gerard's body close to him. He would never tell Frank that he loved him. Because he loved him so much. He wouldn't see Frank grow up and live out his dreams. He wouldn't move in with Frank, he wouldn't get married to Frank. Everything Gerard had planned for the future, was gone along with Frank.
Little did Gerard, Linda, Donna, and Mikey know that Frank was still alive. Bruised, battered and beaten, but alive. They didn't know that Frank was fighting, being one of the three men left in his troop alive. The other seven men killed when they tried to attack back. They didn't know that he and his men had gotten word out and that at this very moment the team of American soldiers were storming the cave, killing the enemy, and saving the drained, starving, weak men of their country, pulling Frank and his team into one of their trucks speeding them to the base, getting them to a medic immediately. Yeah, the small family in Belleville, New Jersey, didn't know that as of tomorrow, Frank would be sent home on an honorable discharge.
Author's Note! :D
Well here you are!
Today is the anniversary of D-Day so I figured I had to post a chapter of this today and if you don't know what that is then........... google it! :D
Or just watch The Ghost of You video. The guys did a great interpretation of it.
Oh and I have a question for you all. Do you guys want me to stop after he comes home orrrrr should I keep going for a little bit longer?
Let me know! :D
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