Categories > Cartoons > Class of the Titans > Surprise!
Surprises and More Surprises
7 reviewsIt'd Theresa's birthday and she's getting lots of surprises, but the last one she can do without.
1Exciting
Reviews
Surprise!
(#) princessofoyownworld 2006-05-29
Nice! (Ok Paige you really have to get a new word!) Loved it. Perfect length to, its a cliffhanger but if you keep them that lenght it should not take to long to update right?? (like mabey by sunday?) Please update soon.Surprise!
(#) Pheonee 2006-05-30
A bit of constructive critism her though--I think you should elaborate the present-giving a bit more. And when she discovers the party, a bit more detail? For example when she gets the spells she could, instead of
"Theresa tore off the red wrapping paper and a brand new book of spells lay in her hands. 'Thank you so much Archie and Atlanta! It's wonderful,' Theresa remarked as she lay the sleek black book down beside her."
You could have
"Theresa stroked her finger down the red wrapping. Gently she wedged one fingernail under the tape holding it together and peeled it off. Through the folds of red paper lay a sleek new spellbook, ornate leather cover giving off a soft chocolate golw. She gasped happily and looked up from the marvle to beam at Archie and Atlanta with stars in her eyes."Thank you!" She cried. "It's great! It's...its's...it's...it's perfect!! I've been wanting 'Spellman's Diary' ever since it came out!" She looked as though she was about to cry as she laid the book gently down on a table and asked Herry if he wanted to go next." Or something more detailed like that. Its sounds a little like she's just being polite when you do it...Author's response
Ya I'm sorry about that but I am not, i repeat, I am not very descriptive! Thanks for the reveiw though!
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