Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Helena
“G-gee?” I croaked out, my vision blurred with tears as I clutched his hand like a lifeline in the murky water I was drowning in.
“Frankie…it’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll be fine.” He promised, clutching my smaller tattooed hand with both of his pale, long and artistically fingered hands.
“I’m scared.” I whispered, edging closer before sitting on the edge of his bed. “I can’t lose you.”
“You aren’t going to lose me, I promise. I’ll never leave you, ever.” Gee said, pulling me closer and kissing my forehead as I held back the tears. This isn’t about me; this is about him, my angel. I have to be strong, for him, I need to help him through this; the chemo, the healing of his burns and whatever other treatment and emotional turmoil this is sure to drag him through.
“I sure as hell hope you’re right.” I whispered, clutching his hand desperately and pulling away, glancing at Mikey and Donna. Donna’s expression was blank, apart from her eyes, swimming with so much sorrow and pain it tugged at my heart to look into them, even for a moment. Mikey looked devastated, his thoughts almost audible in the grim room.
Why my brother? He doesn’t deserve this, any of this. He deserves better. This shouldn’t happen to anyone, but why did it happen to a nice guy like him?
My thoughts were similar. Gerard doesn’t deserve this, he’s a good person, an amazing friend, son, brother, band-mate and fiancé. I, on the other hand…well, I’m not really a good person, and I’ve got no real talent, not like him. I’m not beautiful or graceful or looked up to. I’m not a brother, but if I was I bet I’d be a bad one. I hope he can get through this, I hope he makes it. Selfish as it is, I need him to make it.
“Gee-Gee.” Mikey cried, suddenly throwing himself on his brother, sobbing heavily as Gerard soothed his vulnerable and scared baby brother.
“Mikes, it’s okay. They said it’s only developing cancer, they’re going to be able to stop it, I promise.” He cooed honestly, rubbing his back in small circles as the smaller Way brother sniffled and looked up.
“I love you.” He whispered, cracking a small smile as Gerard did too.
“I love you too, Mikey.” Gerard whispered, kissing his younger brother gently on the lips. It tugs at my heart how close these two are, it’s inspiring, really. The way that they are close and so uncaring to the judgement of the outside world, it would kill me to see these two apart, or see them mad at each other. Gerard has to be able to fight this, if not for me, then for Mikey.
“Mom?” Gerard whispered, leaning forward in the hospital bed to get a better view of her from behind Mikey. Noticing this, the younger Way moved so his brother could see their Mum.
“Oh Gee.” She whispered, coming forward and enveloping him in a hug, stroking her long, pale fingers through his mess of raven black hair.
“Mom, seriously, I’m fine. It’s not like there’s nothing to do and the cancer has spread so far that I’m going to die within a matter of months, is it? I’m going to fight this. I’ll fight it for Frankie, for Mikey, for you, for Ray and Bob and all the fans and the people out there that I love. You don’t get rid of me this easily ma’am.” He snickered at the end as she pulled away, pouting.
“Don’t call me that! It makes me sound old.” She pretend sulked, before kissing Gerard on the head and sitting back down.
“I’ll go and get Ray and Bob.” Mikey said quietly, before shuffling out of the door.
“Do you still want to get married, Frankie?” Gerard asked, biting his lip nervously.
“Of course I do, Gee! Why would you think otherwise?!” I asked, shocked at the question. Could he really doubt that? Just because he has cancer? Um, no. I don’t think so Mr Way, you’re mine.
“Hmm, no reason. I love you.” He said and I smiled, rolling my eyes playfully.
“The amount of times we’ve said that today is ridiculous. I love you too, so much.” I promised whole heartedly, kissing the palm of his hand.
“Good.” He smirked as Ray and Bob entered the room, gripping each other’s hands tightly and looking concerned.
“Hey.” Gerard said cheerily, giving them a quick wave as they walked up to the bed.
“Is there anything wrong? The nurse looked pretty grim and I can tell Mikey’s been crying!” Ray gabbled, brow furrowing in anxiety.
“I just have lung cancer developing ‘tis all.” Gerard replied smoothly, grinning.
“Are you happy about that?!” Bob gasped and Gee scoffed, shaking his head.
“Why would anyone be happy about having cancer?” He raised his eyebrow sarcastically, “It’s only developing anyway. They’ll be able to give me the right treatment to help me fight it and everything will be fine.” He told them, smiling a little softer now.
“I’m glad you’re being positive about this bro. When’s the treatment start?” Ray asked, smiling as he stroked his thumb over the back of Bob’s hand, leaning his head on the taller man’s shoulder.
“Tomorrow.” He continued smiling, “Now, you lot better bob off home and get some food and rest because you’ll be no good to me tomorrow when you’re all knackered out.” He smirked and I sighed.
“I don’t want to leave you though and we have no home to go to.” I pointed out, tugging on my lip ring with my chipped teeth.
“Can’t you stay with Ray and Bob? Or at your place? Just until the house is fixed up. I’m not going to let you sleep in a horrid hospital bed or on the cold floor, that goes for all of you.” He practically ordered, giving warning glances around the room. Damn, he’s so demanding.
“Our place is closer to here if you want. We have another room and a pull out sofa bed.” Ray offered.
“Thanks Ray, that will be great.” Gerard said, giving him a thankful nod before turning his emerald eyes back to me.
“Go.” He whispered, giving my hand a squeeze.
“I’ll be back again tomorrow.” I promised, standing up.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiled.
“I love you, get some rest yourself.”
“I love you too and I will.” He pulled me down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, squeezing my hand again and whispering in my ear.
“Make sure Mikey eats.” He asked and I nodded, kissing his forehead and waving goodbye as we walked out of the room.
“What did he tell you?” Mikey asked and I shook my head in reply.
“Just stuff between us, you don’t need to know.” I told the younger Way, feeling like I was lying to him.
“Frank? Tell me.” Mikey said, stopping dead in front of me and placing his bony hands on my shoulders.
“He said to make sure that you eat, he worries about you, you know. We all do.” I sighed.
“Um, do you guys want to pop into that pizza place by ours and get something to eat? We have nothing in the house to cook.” Bob suggested.
“I’m not hungry.” Mikey replied.
“Mikey.” I warned in a low tone.
“Fine!” He huffed, trotting off down the corridor towards his mother as I slouched along beside Bob and Ray. Gee doesn’t deserve this, any of this. It was me that forgot to move the flipping cake, not him.
“He’ll be fine, Frank.” Ray said, slinging an arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the hospital doors. Strange, we were on the second floor at the back. I must have spaced out.
“I hope so.” I sighed, sliding into the car parked right outside the hospital which has waiting for us. I can’t believe this has happened, I still can’t. One thing that I do know, is that Gee is definitely not going to smoke anymore, so neither am I. Us two will be around for as long as possible, and be around together.
I wonder how he’s feeling right now? I know we’ve only just left him, but it must be awful to be lying in a cold hospital bed, covered in burns that your fiancé caused and knowing that you have a developing terminal illness. My heart tugs, more like wrenches, at the thought of him curled up under the cruel white sheets, feeling so alone and isolated and scared. I knew he was trying to be brave, but I can read him like a book, because he is me and I am him.
“Frankie?” I jolted from my thoughts and turned to look at where the voice came from. It was from Mikey. “You’re crying.” He whispered, I sniffed and wiped at my eyes violently, the damp patches on my hoodie sleeves told me that I was. I choked, trying to tell him I was okay, to tell them I was fine, but something was just clouding up my mind, stealing my words and strangling me with them. I managed a strangled sob, before breaking down completely. I mean, I cried before, but this is just something else. My eyes are streaming but I can barely feel it, I can’t breathe but I don’t mind, my heart is wrenching and my stomach lurches. Images, flashing in front of my eyes, so many horrible images. Our future together, only he looks so ill, so frail, his hair abandoned all his body and his bones sticking out at odd angles and protruding so much I think they may rip the skin.
“I’m okay.” I choked out the words in a hoarse voice.
“Come here.” Mikey said, pulling me into a hug as I gratefully snuggled against his bony body. I felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier until they drooped shut completely.
Wow...this took WAY too long for me to update so I'm sorry about that but I was feeling majorly depressed and if I write when I'm like that then everything goes to shit and what would probably have happened is a car crash where all the band die and then Gerard refuses chemo and kills himself slowly and painfully every day. No one wants that now, do they?
BTW, I turn 13 on Saturday!
Jackie
xxx
“Frankie…it’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll be fine.” He promised, clutching my smaller tattooed hand with both of his pale, long and artistically fingered hands.
“I’m scared.” I whispered, edging closer before sitting on the edge of his bed. “I can’t lose you.”
“You aren’t going to lose me, I promise. I’ll never leave you, ever.” Gee said, pulling me closer and kissing my forehead as I held back the tears. This isn’t about me; this is about him, my angel. I have to be strong, for him, I need to help him through this; the chemo, the healing of his burns and whatever other treatment and emotional turmoil this is sure to drag him through.
“I sure as hell hope you’re right.” I whispered, clutching his hand desperately and pulling away, glancing at Mikey and Donna. Donna’s expression was blank, apart from her eyes, swimming with so much sorrow and pain it tugged at my heart to look into them, even for a moment. Mikey looked devastated, his thoughts almost audible in the grim room.
Why my brother? He doesn’t deserve this, any of this. He deserves better. This shouldn’t happen to anyone, but why did it happen to a nice guy like him?
My thoughts were similar. Gerard doesn’t deserve this, he’s a good person, an amazing friend, son, brother, band-mate and fiancé. I, on the other hand…well, I’m not really a good person, and I’ve got no real talent, not like him. I’m not beautiful or graceful or looked up to. I’m not a brother, but if I was I bet I’d be a bad one. I hope he can get through this, I hope he makes it. Selfish as it is, I need him to make it.
“Gee-Gee.” Mikey cried, suddenly throwing himself on his brother, sobbing heavily as Gerard soothed his vulnerable and scared baby brother.
“Mikes, it’s okay. They said it’s only developing cancer, they’re going to be able to stop it, I promise.” He cooed honestly, rubbing his back in small circles as the smaller Way brother sniffled and looked up.
“I love you.” He whispered, cracking a small smile as Gerard did too.
“I love you too, Mikey.” Gerard whispered, kissing his younger brother gently on the lips. It tugs at my heart how close these two are, it’s inspiring, really. The way that they are close and so uncaring to the judgement of the outside world, it would kill me to see these two apart, or see them mad at each other. Gerard has to be able to fight this, if not for me, then for Mikey.
“Mom?” Gerard whispered, leaning forward in the hospital bed to get a better view of her from behind Mikey. Noticing this, the younger Way moved so his brother could see their Mum.
“Oh Gee.” She whispered, coming forward and enveloping him in a hug, stroking her long, pale fingers through his mess of raven black hair.
“Mom, seriously, I’m fine. It’s not like there’s nothing to do and the cancer has spread so far that I’m going to die within a matter of months, is it? I’m going to fight this. I’ll fight it for Frankie, for Mikey, for you, for Ray and Bob and all the fans and the people out there that I love. You don’t get rid of me this easily ma’am.” He snickered at the end as she pulled away, pouting.
“Don’t call me that! It makes me sound old.” She pretend sulked, before kissing Gerard on the head and sitting back down.
“I’ll go and get Ray and Bob.” Mikey said quietly, before shuffling out of the door.
“Do you still want to get married, Frankie?” Gerard asked, biting his lip nervously.
“Of course I do, Gee! Why would you think otherwise?!” I asked, shocked at the question. Could he really doubt that? Just because he has cancer? Um, no. I don’t think so Mr Way, you’re mine.
“Hmm, no reason. I love you.” He said and I smiled, rolling my eyes playfully.
“The amount of times we’ve said that today is ridiculous. I love you too, so much.” I promised whole heartedly, kissing the palm of his hand.
“Good.” He smirked as Ray and Bob entered the room, gripping each other’s hands tightly and looking concerned.
“Hey.” Gerard said cheerily, giving them a quick wave as they walked up to the bed.
“Is there anything wrong? The nurse looked pretty grim and I can tell Mikey’s been crying!” Ray gabbled, brow furrowing in anxiety.
“I just have lung cancer developing ‘tis all.” Gerard replied smoothly, grinning.
“Are you happy about that?!” Bob gasped and Gee scoffed, shaking his head.
“Why would anyone be happy about having cancer?” He raised his eyebrow sarcastically, “It’s only developing anyway. They’ll be able to give me the right treatment to help me fight it and everything will be fine.” He told them, smiling a little softer now.
“I’m glad you’re being positive about this bro. When’s the treatment start?” Ray asked, smiling as he stroked his thumb over the back of Bob’s hand, leaning his head on the taller man’s shoulder.
“Tomorrow.” He continued smiling, “Now, you lot better bob off home and get some food and rest because you’ll be no good to me tomorrow when you’re all knackered out.” He smirked and I sighed.
“I don’t want to leave you though and we have no home to go to.” I pointed out, tugging on my lip ring with my chipped teeth.
“Can’t you stay with Ray and Bob? Or at your place? Just until the house is fixed up. I’m not going to let you sleep in a horrid hospital bed or on the cold floor, that goes for all of you.” He practically ordered, giving warning glances around the room. Damn, he’s so demanding.
“Our place is closer to here if you want. We have another room and a pull out sofa bed.” Ray offered.
“Thanks Ray, that will be great.” Gerard said, giving him a thankful nod before turning his emerald eyes back to me.
“Go.” He whispered, giving my hand a squeeze.
“I’ll be back again tomorrow.” I promised, standing up.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiled.
“I love you, get some rest yourself.”
“I love you too and I will.” He pulled me down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, squeezing my hand again and whispering in my ear.
“Make sure Mikey eats.” He asked and I nodded, kissing his forehead and waving goodbye as we walked out of the room.
“What did he tell you?” Mikey asked and I shook my head in reply.
“Just stuff between us, you don’t need to know.” I told the younger Way, feeling like I was lying to him.
“Frank? Tell me.” Mikey said, stopping dead in front of me and placing his bony hands on my shoulders.
“He said to make sure that you eat, he worries about you, you know. We all do.” I sighed.
“Um, do you guys want to pop into that pizza place by ours and get something to eat? We have nothing in the house to cook.” Bob suggested.
“I’m not hungry.” Mikey replied.
“Mikey.” I warned in a low tone.
“Fine!” He huffed, trotting off down the corridor towards his mother as I slouched along beside Bob and Ray. Gee doesn’t deserve this, any of this. It was me that forgot to move the flipping cake, not him.
“He’ll be fine, Frank.” Ray said, slinging an arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the hospital doors. Strange, we were on the second floor at the back. I must have spaced out.
“I hope so.” I sighed, sliding into the car parked right outside the hospital which has waiting for us. I can’t believe this has happened, I still can’t. One thing that I do know, is that Gee is definitely not going to smoke anymore, so neither am I. Us two will be around for as long as possible, and be around together.
I wonder how he’s feeling right now? I know we’ve only just left him, but it must be awful to be lying in a cold hospital bed, covered in burns that your fiancé caused and knowing that you have a developing terminal illness. My heart tugs, more like wrenches, at the thought of him curled up under the cruel white sheets, feeling so alone and isolated and scared. I knew he was trying to be brave, but I can read him like a book, because he is me and I am him.
“Frankie?” I jolted from my thoughts and turned to look at where the voice came from. It was from Mikey. “You’re crying.” He whispered, I sniffed and wiped at my eyes violently, the damp patches on my hoodie sleeves told me that I was. I choked, trying to tell him I was okay, to tell them I was fine, but something was just clouding up my mind, stealing my words and strangling me with them. I managed a strangled sob, before breaking down completely. I mean, I cried before, but this is just something else. My eyes are streaming but I can barely feel it, I can’t breathe but I don’t mind, my heart is wrenching and my stomach lurches. Images, flashing in front of my eyes, so many horrible images. Our future together, only he looks so ill, so frail, his hair abandoned all his body and his bones sticking out at odd angles and protruding so much I think they may rip the skin.
“I’m okay.” I choked out the words in a hoarse voice.
“Come here.” Mikey said, pulling me into a hug as I gratefully snuggled against his bony body. I felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier until they drooped shut completely.
Wow...this took WAY too long for me to update so I'm sorry about that but I was feeling majorly depressed and if I write when I'm like that then everything goes to shit and what would probably have happened is a car crash where all the band die and then Gerard refuses chemo and kills himself slowly and painfully every day. No one wants that now, do they?
BTW, I turn 13 on Saturday!
Jackie
xxx
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