Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Life Is Full of False Hopes
Have you ever woken up in a strange room that's about ten feet tall, the only window being at the very top corner of one of the high walls, the only door being a large metal door bolted to the frame with a single slot for eyes to peer in at you? Because it's not a comfortable feeling at all. The room I found myself in was completely empty. There was no bed. No water. Nothing. Just dust and dirt that covered the floor, with an occasional drop or two of blood. It made me sick to my stomach as I looked the small empty room over. What was I supposed to do? It didn't seem like there was anyone I could ask why the hell I was in the cramped empty room.
The walls were plain concrete, matching the hard ground that I was sitting on. There were bars on the small window that I couldn't even reach if I tried. Not that I was in any mood to try. At this point, I couldn't help but wonder why I bothered living. Why I hadn't just offed myself when I had the chance. It just seemed like it would be a lot less painful than this. And I hated this room. So empty and dry, the only real light coming in from the tiny window. There must have been a sink nearby, or something like it, because the only sound I could hear was a constant drip of the sink. After about an hour of listening to it, I wondered if it was the steady drip of blood coming out of a body from a person in the same situation as me.
Being alone in a small room with absolutely nothing other than the clothing on your back leaves you bored, the only thing you really can do is think. I chose to pick at the scabs on one of my wrists as I thought about everything. About my parents, my mother's family, the few friends I had made and the way that they were going to stab me in the back. About how amazing it would be to have a smoke with me. I closed my eyes, straining my ears to try and hear something from outside the window. Nothing. Just that constant drip.
I couldn't help but imagine what it was like to be a normal kid. To have a normal family that gets along perfectly and actually takes an interest in your life. To have friends who genuinely care, and aren't only there to throw a pity party for you. What it would be like to actually know love for what it's said to be. Or to stay in one school and not get beat up everyday of your fucking life. I ran a hand through my hair. To not be judged like a piece of meat every day. To not have to turn to illegal things to numb the pain. To be able to cope with life like a normal human. I couldn't help but think what an amazing feeling it would be to know a life like that.
I rested my head against the hard wall, my back against it as I sat criss-crossed on the floor. I felt sick, but that could have just been because I hadn't taken my medicine yet. My head dropped into my hands as the sudden realization hit me: I was totally alone. My real family was dead. My relatives didn't want me. The few friends I had would eventually disappear like they always do. I let my hand go down to my necklace.
It was gone.
It left along with my sanity.
I started to cry, breaking down into heavy sobs as my whole body shook. I didn't even realize that I had stopped until I heard an odd noise. I let my eyes wander over to the door, where a small opening was at the bottom. A tray of food slid in, and I quickly stood, rushing over to the door so I could ask a few questions while I had the chance.
"Why am I in here?" The small opening for eyes to peer into opened, and I looked into a pair of peircing brown eyes.
"You caused a fight. You'll be in here until sundown, then we'll put you back in your place. In the mean time, eat, and then take your pills." I just stared at him, the opening quickly closing. I could hear the soft sound of his footsteps slowly walking away, and looked over at the food. I wasn't hungry. And even if I was, I don't think I would have been able to stomach the slop that had been placed on the tray. It just looked gross.
I found myself banging my head against the hard wall, trying to have time to go faster. I just wanted out. Of course, I knew that as soon as I got out I would be wishing for something better again. I stared up at the plain ceiling, wishing would get me nowhere. And even nowhere seemed far away from where I was at.
I ended up staring at the window for the majority of the time. I couldn't see anything other than the light that came out of it. That was until the sun slowly started to set. The small window ended up looking like it held a fire, and I felt my heart drop with it. I didn't want to go back with the crazies. I liked it in solitary confinement, I just need a notebook or something to do. The door swung open, a guard standing there like it was prison. The only thing that was missing was the jumpsuits on the people in the place. I followed him down the hall and into the mental wing, walking to my room by myself.
I wasn't at all happy with what I found.
All of my belongings littered the ground in shards and broken pieces. My violin was sitting half broken against one of the walls, what little clothing I had left was torn to shreds, and my CD player and CD's were missing. The only thing that was left was the book that my sister gave me. It was on the floor, knocked down and forgotten. I gave a small sigh when I realized that all of the money was still in it, and decided to keep it on my person at all time.
It was the one thing that wasn't destroyed.
"Hey, you the kid that lives in this room." I turned around to see a young kid with deep bags under his bright grey eyes smirking at me. I nodded once and watched as he pulled a lighter and a small piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolded the paper, showing it to me. It was the only picture I had of my family. He put the lighter to it as I watched with wide eyes, terrified to do anything.
"Please don't." I whispered as the flame got close to the picture. He lit on fire, letting it fall to the floor.
"Poof!" He said laughing like crazy before running off. I watched as my family slowly burned.
And all that was left was ash.
~~~~~
PartyPoison:I thought about having Ryan show up or something, but that would be to easy. I'm probably going to drag the whole thing out for a ridiculously long time. But it will (hopefully) be worth it.
I'm not sure how long this story will be, but by the looks of it, it will probably make it to fifty chapters.
marissasorrentino:Glad you think that my writing is great. :) I've been trying, and I'm sure that if I went through and edited everything that it would be a million times better. I think I'll probably start doing that with my finished stories.
AnotherKnifeInMyHand:I know. I have to admit, sometimes I feel bad for putting him through all of this crap. But hey, it is a story that's mainly based on angst, so it should be DRAMATIC. (I had the urge to write that in all caps.) I do try to make it angsty, because I love me some angst. :)
LePanicFan:But Brendon has to suffer. (Even though he hasn't done...anything.) Poor little thing will have to wait to actually get to know his love.
-xoxo Pansy.
The walls were plain concrete, matching the hard ground that I was sitting on. There were bars on the small window that I couldn't even reach if I tried. Not that I was in any mood to try. At this point, I couldn't help but wonder why I bothered living. Why I hadn't just offed myself when I had the chance. It just seemed like it would be a lot less painful than this. And I hated this room. So empty and dry, the only real light coming in from the tiny window. There must have been a sink nearby, or something like it, because the only sound I could hear was a constant drip of the sink. After about an hour of listening to it, I wondered if it was the steady drip of blood coming out of a body from a person in the same situation as me.
Being alone in a small room with absolutely nothing other than the clothing on your back leaves you bored, the only thing you really can do is think. I chose to pick at the scabs on one of my wrists as I thought about everything. About my parents, my mother's family, the few friends I had made and the way that they were going to stab me in the back. About how amazing it would be to have a smoke with me. I closed my eyes, straining my ears to try and hear something from outside the window. Nothing. Just that constant drip.
I couldn't help but imagine what it was like to be a normal kid. To have a normal family that gets along perfectly and actually takes an interest in your life. To have friends who genuinely care, and aren't only there to throw a pity party for you. What it would be like to actually know love for what it's said to be. Or to stay in one school and not get beat up everyday of your fucking life. I ran a hand through my hair. To not be judged like a piece of meat every day. To not have to turn to illegal things to numb the pain. To be able to cope with life like a normal human. I couldn't help but think what an amazing feeling it would be to know a life like that.
I rested my head against the hard wall, my back against it as I sat criss-crossed on the floor. I felt sick, but that could have just been because I hadn't taken my medicine yet. My head dropped into my hands as the sudden realization hit me: I was totally alone. My real family was dead. My relatives didn't want me. The few friends I had would eventually disappear like they always do. I let my hand go down to my necklace.
It was gone.
It left along with my sanity.
I started to cry, breaking down into heavy sobs as my whole body shook. I didn't even realize that I had stopped until I heard an odd noise. I let my eyes wander over to the door, where a small opening was at the bottom. A tray of food slid in, and I quickly stood, rushing over to the door so I could ask a few questions while I had the chance.
"Why am I in here?" The small opening for eyes to peer into opened, and I looked into a pair of peircing brown eyes.
"You caused a fight. You'll be in here until sundown, then we'll put you back in your place. In the mean time, eat, and then take your pills." I just stared at him, the opening quickly closing. I could hear the soft sound of his footsteps slowly walking away, and looked over at the food. I wasn't hungry. And even if I was, I don't think I would have been able to stomach the slop that had been placed on the tray. It just looked gross.
I found myself banging my head against the hard wall, trying to have time to go faster. I just wanted out. Of course, I knew that as soon as I got out I would be wishing for something better again. I stared up at the plain ceiling, wishing would get me nowhere. And even nowhere seemed far away from where I was at.
I ended up staring at the window for the majority of the time. I couldn't see anything other than the light that came out of it. That was until the sun slowly started to set. The small window ended up looking like it held a fire, and I felt my heart drop with it. I didn't want to go back with the crazies. I liked it in solitary confinement, I just need a notebook or something to do. The door swung open, a guard standing there like it was prison. The only thing that was missing was the jumpsuits on the people in the place. I followed him down the hall and into the mental wing, walking to my room by myself.
I wasn't at all happy with what I found.
All of my belongings littered the ground in shards and broken pieces. My violin was sitting half broken against one of the walls, what little clothing I had left was torn to shreds, and my CD player and CD's were missing. The only thing that was left was the book that my sister gave me. It was on the floor, knocked down and forgotten. I gave a small sigh when I realized that all of the money was still in it, and decided to keep it on my person at all time.
It was the one thing that wasn't destroyed.
"Hey, you the kid that lives in this room." I turned around to see a young kid with deep bags under his bright grey eyes smirking at me. I nodded once and watched as he pulled a lighter and a small piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolded the paper, showing it to me. It was the only picture I had of my family. He put the lighter to it as I watched with wide eyes, terrified to do anything.
"Please don't." I whispered as the flame got close to the picture. He lit on fire, letting it fall to the floor.
"Poof!" He said laughing like crazy before running off. I watched as my family slowly burned.
And all that was left was ash.
~~~~~
PartyPoison:I thought about having Ryan show up or something, but that would be to easy. I'm probably going to drag the whole thing out for a ridiculously long time. But it will (hopefully) be worth it.
I'm not sure how long this story will be, but by the looks of it, it will probably make it to fifty chapters.
marissasorrentino:Glad you think that my writing is great. :) I've been trying, and I'm sure that if I went through and edited everything that it would be a million times better. I think I'll probably start doing that with my finished stories.
AnotherKnifeInMyHand:I know. I have to admit, sometimes I feel bad for putting him through all of this crap. But hey, it is a story that's mainly based on angst, so it should be DRAMATIC. (I had the urge to write that in all caps.) I do try to make it angsty, because I love me some angst. :)
LePanicFan:But Brendon has to suffer. (Even though he hasn't done...anything.) Poor little thing will have to wait to actually get to know his love.
-xoxo Pansy.
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