Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We were suppose to be forever...
Don't Stop If I Fall And Don't Look Back
4 reviewsFrank and Jamia talk about Frank and Gerard's future. Will she comply to Frank's wishes or crush them?
1Exciting
Chapter 8
“Jamia?” I called, worried. I was just about to explain why I was leaving her for Gerard. This was going to be tricky, but it had to be done. It was going to hurt now, but I’d be happier in the long run.
“Frank, oh thank god you’re here,” She seemed so much calmer now, than she was on the phone. She hid herself in my chest and I put one arm around her, wondering what the fuck was going on. “I’m sorry I sounded so horrible, I just can’t believe that you’d leave me. You wouldn’t leave me, would you?”
While searching my head for a valid thing to say, I realised how in love she was with me. I was about to throw this away. But for Gerard, I’d do anything.
“I am. Jamia, I’m sorry,” She looked away from me. “But you have to understand, I’ve had these feelings since I met him,”
“I don’t… Frank, why? … I just…” She was trying to fight back tears. I sat in silence and let her sob. After a while, she sighed, I thought maybe she’d pulled herself together. “I understand,” I looked up at her, her mascara had smudged around her eyes and a few tears still rolled down her cheeks and fell from her face.
“What do you mean, you understand?” As much as I was glad she understood me, it seemed odd.
“You and Gerard. A forbidden love, and now you’ve got the chance for it to blossom. I know what it’s like, Frank. I… Sorry, I… Just ignore me,” She said, hiding her face even more.
“No, I want you to explain, I don’t care what it is. I can’t really judge you after this, can I?” I reassured her that whatever it was that was bothering her was going to be okay with me. No matter what it was.
“You and me, when we first started dating, I’d just broken up with a different guy and he said he hated you because you were a ‘dumb-ass queer’, so you were really a revenge relationship, to get back at him. I still loved him and you were the only way I could cause him pain. He asked me to break up with you because he wanted me back,” I stared blankly at her. I didn’t know what to say. “But, I fell in love. I fell in love with you, Frank. Me and him, we did what you and Gerard did. Saw each other behind your back. I broke it off with him when I realised how much you meant. And I thought that maybe we were forever, obviously not now.”
“I understand,” I murmured. She looked at me, quite shocked.
“Frank, do you still love me?”
“Well, yeah. It doesn’t take 2 seconds to fall out of love with someone. I’ll still love you because you’re the mother of my children, though. That’s all we’ll ever be,”
“So we’ll still be friends?”
It was like she wanted me in her life forever, we’d been through olot together, so did she want me in the rest too?
“Of course we will. We’ll still have to see each other because of Cherry and Lily,” I told her, she smiled at me. I grinned back.
“How long have you and… Him… been going on?” She sounded quite bitter at the thought of me and Gerard together. I wanted to lie, but the truth came out.
“Since we met, 10 years ago. I fell in love. I left because I was trying to get over him, but he started drinking and having panic attacks, so I came back. I proposed to him and he rejected. Tonight, he went to file divorce with Lyn-Z, came back and proposed to me,” She listened carefully, trying to understand the things I’d been through. She wasn’t upset, she wasn’t crying anymore.
“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”
“Yes…” I choked on my words, I didn’t know if I should have said that.
“Happier than I do, well did?”
“Yes…” I struggled again. I looked her in the eyes for every question she asked me, so she could see my sincerity. Single tears rolled down her cheeks each time I answered.
“I-I-“
“Jamia, I know you still love me,”
“Frank, I was going to say that I’ll sign the papers,” She said, smiling. “All I want is for you to be happy, and if this is what you want then you can have it.” I grinned at her; she only wanted me to be happy. She wasn’t selfish, like I was.
“I don’t know what to say, I mean, thank you, but…”
“Why am I being so kind about this and not giving you hell?”
“Yeah…”
“Because I’ve known there was something going on. The on-stage kissing wasn’t just for the crowd; it was for both of you. I could see that you loved each other and that I was almost nothing compared to him. I saw how hurt you were after Projekt Revolution. And when you were in LeATHERMOUTH, I used to read the songs you wrote, the papers had ‘I love him’ all over them,”
“You were something to me, sometimes more. He hurt me so much, but I went back to him,”
“Because…” She started crying, “Because you love him.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “But, I’ll still be here. I still love you.” I sat next to her and put my arm around her. “It’s going to be okay.”
She rested her head on my shoulder, I like I did with Gee. This was the last time we could do this, so I made the most of it. This was it. Me and Gerard were going to be forever now, just like I’d always hoped.
Author's note: Sorry it's short, I didn't know what else to put >.< I hope you're all enjoying this story, i don't even beleive this is me writing all this. o.O (so totally wishing this all happens)
“Jamia?” I called, worried. I was just about to explain why I was leaving her for Gerard. This was going to be tricky, but it had to be done. It was going to hurt now, but I’d be happier in the long run.
“Frank, oh thank god you’re here,” She seemed so much calmer now, than she was on the phone. She hid herself in my chest and I put one arm around her, wondering what the fuck was going on. “I’m sorry I sounded so horrible, I just can’t believe that you’d leave me. You wouldn’t leave me, would you?”
While searching my head for a valid thing to say, I realised how in love she was with me. I was about to throw this away. But for Gerard, I’d do anything.
“I am. Jamia, I’m sorry,” She looked away from me. “But you have to understand, I’ve had these feelings since I met him,”
“I don’t… Frank, why? … I just…” She was trying to fight back tears. I sat in silence and let her sob. After a while, she sighed, I thought maybe she’d pulled herself together. “I understand,” I looked up at her, her mascara had smudged around her eyes and a few tears still rolled down her cheeks and fell from her face.
“What do you mean, you understand?” As much as I was glad she understood me, it seemed odd.
“You and Gerard. A forbidden love, and now you’ve got the chance for it to blossom. I know what it’s like, Frank. I… Sorry, I… Just ignore me,” She said, hiding her face even more.
“No, I want you to explain, I don’t care what it is. I can’t really judge you after this, can I?” I reassured her that whatever it was that was bothering her was going to be okay with me. No matter what it was.
“You and me, when we first started dating, I’d just broken up with a different guy and he said he hated you because you were a ‘dumb-ass queer’, so you were really a revenge relationship, to get back at him. I still loved him and you were the only way I could cause him pain. He asked me to break up with you because he wanted me back,” I stared blankly at her. I didn’t know what to say. “But, I fell in love. I fell in love with you, Frank. Me and him, we did what you and Gerard did. Saw each other behind your back. I broke it off with him when I realised how much you meant. And I thought that maybe we were forever, obviously not now.”
“I understand,” I murmured. She looked at me, quite shocked.
“Frank, do you still love me?”
“Well, yeah. It doesn’t take 2 seconds to fall out of love with someone. I’ll still love you because you’re the mother of my children, though. That’s all we’ll ever be,”
“So we’ll still be friends?”
It was like she wanted me in her life forever, we’d been through olot together, so did she want me in the rest too?
“Of course we will. We’ll still have to see each other because of Cherry and Lily,” I told her, she smiled at me. I grinned back.
“How long have you and… Him… been going on?” She sounded quite bitter at the thought of me and Gerard together. I wanted to lie, but the truth came out.
“Since we met, 10 years ago. I fell in love. I left because I was trying to get over him, but he started drinking and having panic attacks, so I came back. I proposed to him and he rejected. Tonight, he went to file divorce with Lyn-Z, came back and proposed to me,” She listened carefully, trying to understand the things I’d been through. She wasn’t upset, she wasn’t crying anymore.
“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”
“Yes…” I choked on my words, I didn’t know if I should have said that.
“Happier than I do, well did?”
“Yes…” I struggled again. I looked her in the eyes for every question she asked me, so she could see my sincerity. Single tears rolled down her cheeks each time I answered.
“I-I-“
“Jamia, I know you still love me,”
“Frank, I was going to say that I’ll sign the papers,” She said, smiling. “All I want is for you to be happy, and if this is what you want then you can have it.” I grinned at her; she only wanted me to be happy. She wasn’t selfish, like I was.
“I don’t know what to say, I mean, thank you, but…”
“Why am I being so kind about this and not giving you hell?”
“Yeah…”
“Because I’ve known there was something going on. The on-stage kissing wasn’t just for the crowd; it was for both of you. I could see that you loved each other and that I was almost nothing compared to him. I saw how hurt you were after Projekt Revolution. And when you were in LeATHERMOUTH, I used to read the songs you wrote, the papers had ‘I love him’ all over them,”
“You were something to me, sometimes more. He hurt me so much, but I went back to him,”
“Because…” She started crying, “Because you love him.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “But, I’ll still be here. I still love you.” I sat next to her and put my arm around her. “It’s going to be okay.”
She rested her head on my shoulder, I like I did with Gee. This was the last time we could do this, so I made the most of it. This was it. Me and Gerard were going to be forever now, just like I’d always hoped.
Author's note: Sorry it's short, I didn't know what else to put >.< I hope you're all enjoying this story, i don't even beleive this is me writing all this. o.O (so totally wishing this all happens)
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