Categories > Original > Drama > Your Still Here
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I had friends before Jack, Many friends. His name was Andres, and he was my closest friend, it was 6th grade and in order to survive 6th grade you needed a pal. Yes we always hung out. Yes he probably knows me like no one ever will. No he never told me he loved me. Oh well, see that girl in the previous chapter (my cousin) shes the looks and im the brains, it had always been that way end of story. She often took boys into her clutches, kept them amused and then dropped them, leaving me friendless, always. Andy i thought was different so i gave him a very small prewarning about her, i tryed not to scare him off so i left it at that. 3 days before i met Jack me and him had our little falling out we fought and we fought bad exposing eatchother until there was nothing left to say. We were done my cousin could have him, she gladly took him. Is it bad to say i missed him? He knew more abotu my fucked up life then anybody, i never told Jack, he didnt need to get into my pshycho mindset.
The Second Dance:
Then there was the second dance, by now me and Jack were unseprable, wherever Jack was i was, it annoyed everyone, too bad. I loved it. He walked to my house before (apprently we were neighbors) and it was well great. We were comfortable around eatchother, i was always next to him, so close our hands almost always touched, no harm in that? Music blasting bass going we were happy, all of us with beads hanging from our necks, he was dragging me somewhere across the dance floor as usual this time i just wanted us 2 for just a moment, all just to catch a glimpse of his eyes shining in the strobed lights. instinct kicked in and i pulled him straight from his necklace. His eyes were in prefect view i felt myself falling closer into his eyes, the world slowed around me again... no. The moment of silence said a million things we never could, i felt my self inching closer staring down at his lips and him accepting. Someone knocked me over. Fuck.. i turned to see i knew exactly who it was, one of my cousins ex's out to get revenge on.. Me? Oh well. We both smiled and shyed away walking in different dirrections. Guess who was there; Andy; He came rather shaky towards me and greeted me with a warrm smile. I was dumbfounded, nope there was a loggical explaniation he was high as usual, i was still the onyl one after all this time who could talk him down and soothe him in that state.. He looked at me and with his black and blue shaded eyes he told me he had cottonmouth and could stand. I looked at him with all sympathy in the world bought him a coke and offered my shoulder for balance he took both. When i came to the conclusion he couldnt hold his coke i sat there trying to manage to get some in his mouth. Heres the scene; Both of us giggling away him leaning on me, me trying to get coke in him and not on him, here comes Jack. Shit Jack walked over prepared with what he always told me at dances. Why did you go?!, I missed you! stay by me! He saw Andy and froze, This time i was greeted with deathgrip pulling me back by my shirt and im pretty sure my bra. this time he didnt let go he held my wrist the rest of the dance, it was comforting and scary all at once, Jack hated Andy, but was him holding on to my arm for dearlife nessesary? Ill never know why but for the moment it worked.
* Two Months later*
Jack... pick up already.. i let the phone ring, it was only 6am and i was calling him to see that he was awake and ready for school. He answered sleepily and we talked for almost an hour and a half about whatever came to mind, this was now normal. Whenever i was'nt with Jack he was definitly on the phone with me, he was almost like my secrutiy blaket, We were now accoustumed to holding hands. I was so happy and completed ( i thought) i seemed to have managed to push all of my friends away, i didnt see that yet, not that it really mattered to me anyways. It was a field trip day and we were both equally excied, iw as still a tad sick from some mystery illness i had been having that week cauusing me to throw up everytime i eat, but other than that i was ready to go. It was a holocaust musuem, and form the moment we arrived to class he litterally held on to me, from whatever way he could. We never hugged so this was somehow unatrual but it was so comforting, all of my friends that day were so stand off-ish and were all talking about something they had planned today, i wasnt sure of it but i think something was going on. We went about the day with hands linked and him leaning on my shoulders with his arm almost around my waist. We were in the elevator, with 4 other kids from my class the elevator proceeded to stop and get stuck, ive never been sure why but he grabbed both of my hands and pushed them behind me, he then stared down at me smiling ready for something to happen. The students all cringed at the sight (Even though they were used to it) And the moment was quickly lost as the doors squeeked open. We walked out hand in hand and recieved a couple dozen death stares from classmates, that never happend before. Well here comes Sam, Damn it.. what now? Hello Jack! she greeted him with a smile and managed to get between us. She then decided to give him a hug, i usually didnt mind but for some reason i felt like just today iw anted a good day with no drama to it, i shyed away and decided to catch up with some other friends; Milly go with Jack.. I rolled my eyes and found another group of friends; Milly dont be stupid why are you here? To catch up with you i slowly replied. Well dont i got as a bitter response. Damn,, the ydidnt matter anyways. I walked back to Sam who was amazingly still in an warm embrace with Jack, she turned to make sure he didnt see me (He had been calling my name for a good 2 minutes) SKANK! She looked at me, mouthed it and smiled. I didnt know what to do.. Jack i managed to get out, she turned him once again this time he attempted to get out of the half headlock half hug she had him in. She didnt give in. I was confused, what happend? it was perfect... Fuck them all.. We arrived at school and the bell rang just in time, i kept to myself, holding back tears trying to just walk. I made my mind up to find Jack and remind myself things got better. I did, Sam grabbed him nearly smothering him with her hug. All i could do was walk away.
Great. im sitting at home crying.. and my ''bestfriend'' Jack and apprently he couldnt call me. I found my teased hair falling flat and my thick black eyeliner all the way around my eye drip to the floor. God, i had changed, i laughed at myself almost contently as i looked in the mirror.
I had friends before Jack, Many friends. His name was Andres, and he was my closest friend, it was 6th grade and in order to survive 6th grade you needed a pal. Yes we always hung out. Yes he probably knows me like no one ever will. No he never told me he loved me. Oh well, see that girl in the previous chapter (my cousin) shes the looks and im the brains, it had always been that way end of story. She often took boys into her clutches, kept them amused and then dropped them, leaving me friendless, always. Andy i thought was different so i gave him a very small prewarning about her, i tryed not to scare him off so i left it at that. 3 days before i met Jack me and him had our little falling out we fought and we fought bad exposing eatchother until there was nothing left to say. We were done my cousin could have him, she gladly took him. Is it bad to say i missed him? He knew more abotu my fucked up life then anybody, i never told Jack, he didnt need to get into my pshycho mindset.
The Second Dance:
Then there was the second dance, by now me and Jack were unseprable, wherever Jack was i was, it annoyed everyone, too bad. I loved it. He walked to my house before (apprently we were neighbors) and it was well great. We were comfortable around eatchother, i was always next to him, so close our hands almost always touched, no harm in that? Music blasting bass going we were happy, all of us with beads hanging from our necks, he was dragging me somewhere across the dance floor as usual this time i just wanted us 2 for just a moment, all just to catch a glimpse of his eyes shining in the strobed lights. instinct kicked in and i pulled him straight from his necklace. His eyes were in prefect view i felt myself falling closer into his eyes, the world slowed around me again... no. The moment of silence said a million things we never could, i felt my self inching closer staring down at his lips and him accepting. Someone knocked me over. Fuck.. i turned to see i knew exactly who it was, one of my cousins ex's out to get revenge on.. Me? Oh well. We both smiled and shyed away walking in different dirrections. Guess who was there; Andy; He came rather shaky towards me and greeted me with a warrm smile. I was dumbfounded, nope there was a loggical explaniation he was high as usual, i was still the onyl one after all this time who could talk him down and soothe him in that state.. He looked at me and with his black and blue shaded eyes he told me he had cottonmouth and could stand. I looked at him with all sympathy in the world bought him a coke and offered my shoulder for balance he took both. When i came to the conclusion he couldnt hold his coke i sat there trying to manage to get some in his mouth. Heres the scene; Both of us giggling away him leaning on me, me trying to get coke in him and not on him, here comes Jack. Shit Jack walked over prepared with what he always told me at dances. Why did you go?!, I missed you! stay by me! He saw Andy and froze, This time i was greeted with deathgrip pulling me back by my shirt and im pretty sure my bra. this time he didnt let go he held my wrist the rest of the dance, it was comforting and scary all at once, Jack hated Andy, but was him holding on to my arm for dearlife nessesary? Ill never know why but for the moment it worked.
* Two Months later*
Jack... pick up already.. i let the phone ring, it was only 6am and i was calling him to see that he was awake and ready for school. He answered sleepily and we talked for almost an hour and a half about whatever came to mind, this was now normal. Whenever i was'nt with Jack he was definitly on the phone with me, he was almost like my secrutiy blaket, We were now accoustumed to holding hands. I was so happy and completed ( i thought) i seemed to have managed to push all of my friends away, i didnt see that yet, not that it really mattered to me anyways. It was a field trip day and we were both equally excied, iw as still a tad sick from some mystery illness i had been having that week cauusing me to throw up everytime i eat, but other than that i was ready to go. It was a holocaust musuem, and form the moment we arrived to class he litterally held on to me, from whatever way he could. We never hugged so this was somehow unatrual but it was so comforting, all of my friends that day were so stand off-ish and were all talking about something they had planned today, i wasnt sure of it but i think something was going on. We went about the day with hands linked and him leaning on my shoulders with his arm almost around my waist. We were in the elevator, with 4 other kids from my class the elevator proceeded to stop and get stuck, ive never been sure why but he grabbed both of my hands and pushed them behind me, he then stared down at me smiling ready for something to happen. The students all cringed at the sight (Even though they were used to it) And the moment was quickly lost as the doors squeeked open. We walked out hand in hand and recieved a couple dozen death stares from classmates, that never happend before. Well here comes Sam, Damn it.. what now? Hello Jack! she greeted him with a smile and managed to get between us. She then decided to give him a hug, i usually didnt mind but for some reason i felt like just today iw anted a good day with no drama to it, i shyed away and decided to catch up with some other friends; Milly go with Jack.. I rolled my eyes and found another group of friends; Milly dont be stupid why are you here? To catch up with you i slowly replied. Well dont i got as a bitter response. Damn,, the ydidnt matter anyways. I walked back to Sam who was amazingly still in an warm embrace with Jack, she turned to make sure he didnt see me (He had been calling my name for a good 2 minutes) SKANK! She looked at me, mouthed it and smiled. I didnt know what to do.. Jack i managed to get out, she turned him once again this time he attempted to get out of the half headlock half hug she had him in. She didnt give in. I was confused, what happend? it was perfect... Fuck them all.. We arrived at school and the bell rang just in time, i kept to myself, holding back tears trying to just walk. I made my mind up to find Jack and remind myself things got better. I did, Sam grabbed him nearly smothering him with her hug. All i could do was walk away.
Great. im sitting at home crying.. and my ''bestfriend'' Jack and apprently he couldnt call me. I found my teased hair falling flat and my thick black eyeliner all the way around my eye drip to the floor. God, i had changed, i laughed at myself almost contently as i looked in the mirror.
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