FicWad

Since leaving Jacob’s estate Hudson hadn’t spoken to Christa. She sighed as she looked out at the passing landscape. So much had happened in such a short time she was still trying to come to terms with everything.

Hudson’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he glanced over at her. “Are you angry with me?”

His question surprised Christa. “Oh, you mean because you didn’t tell me what was going to happen? You mean because you failed to mention I was going to have to bond with a vile creature?”

“Yeah, to both questions.” He said softly.

Christa thought a moment. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. I couldn’t have gone in there knowing what was going to happen and not have some of the stuff I knew be obvious to the others. Still, it was such a terrible thing. Her mind was so full of ugly images and thoughts.” She felt a chill run down her spine at the memory.

“Was Jacob in those thoughts?”

Christa looked over at him. “You know he was. I wish you had at least told me that ahead of time. It was hard to have my mind filled with her thoughts while at the same time trying to remember I couldn’t mention Jacob’s name. She hated him so much.”

“You understand why?”

“Oh yes. He wouldn’t turn her. She hated that he’d turned Anna and not her. God, the amount of hatred she had towards Anna was so deep.” She paused a minute. “Being in her mind was so ugly. I believe it was looking into the face of pure evil.”

Hudson released one hand from the steering wheel to reach over for her hand. “You did well. What you did saved them both.”

Christa sighed, “I hope so.”

He gave her a puzzled look. “You did. You have to know that.”

“I understand that if it had gone badly they could have ended both of their lives.”

He nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”

“But Anna feels she has no life now.” Christa whispered sadly. “And Gerard isn’t Gerard anymore. God, when I first saw him wake up…” Her voice trailed off.

“You make it sound like being a Healer has turned him into a monster.” He released her hand with a sigh.

Christa realized that what she had said must seem that way. “No, not a monster just not the Gerard I knew before.”

“The one who felt human emotions.”

“The one who felt human love. How will Anna handle all of this? She loves him with a human love.”

Hudson knew that was true. “Yes, but he will still love her as his Maker. That in itself is a strong love, an unbreakable bond.”

“But not what Anna wanted.” Christa said softly. She shifted slightly in her seat to face him. “She doesn’t plan on staying with him.”

Hudson’s head snapped around. “What?”

“I couldn’t say anything before because of Katherine but I could feel Anna’s emotions, hear her thoughts. She doesn’t plan on staying with him any longer than is required. She believes you will be able to help him when she leaves his side.”

“Fuck." Hudson muttered. “Damn woman. That’s just stupid. She has the chance to be with the one she loves for all eternity and she’s thinking of leaving him?”

Christa tried to make him understand. “She doesn’t love like a Healer, Hudson. She loves him like a mortal. Knowing he doesn’t feel the same way broke her heart.”

“But she is a Healer. No matter that she retained some human emotions she’s still a Healer.”

“She doesn’t think like you. She can’t.”

He sighed, “Shit, I wish I didn’t have to get back on tour. Maybe I should just cancel the fuckin’ thing and stay with them.”

“How could you? Gerard will be going back on tour soon too. He has to pretend he’s the same person he was before this happened.”

“He is the same person just better." Hudson said in a chipped tone.

Christa heard the anger in his voice but ignored it. “No, he’s not. After talking to His Excellence I understand so much more about your world. The Healer world and my world are so different. Gerard will go through this life he is living now devoid of human emotions. He’ll pretend to love his brother, pretend to love his friends but it will be a lie. He may still like the people who he once loved but he won’t truly love them. Only a few of us will understand that. But it will be Anna who will be the most hurt.”

“So my world pretty much sucks, is that it?”

“Hudson I never said that. I’m just trying to make you understand. I know you can’t really understand the way I feel, the way Anna feels. You can’t. I don’t fault you for not understanding something you aren’t able to feel.” She sat back and closed her eyes. “If only…”

“If only what?”

Suddenly Christa was overwhelmed with such sorrow. She was once again tapping into Anna’s feelings. “Oh.”

Hudson shot her a look and saw she had tears in her eyes. “What is it?”

“Anna.” Christa whispered. “It’s Anna.”

_____________________________________________

Gerard continued to brutally suck the blood from the wound he inflicted on Anna’s breast. As a Healer himself her blood added to the intensity of the sexual act. His penis throbbed, ready to burst. Lifting his head he closed his eyes and thrust into her.

Anna remained still, her eyes closed. As desperately as she tried her Healer nature would not take over. She could feel nothing, not even the blood lust.

Still roughly thrusting in a frenzy Gerard lowered his head to Anna’s neck. The sweet smell of her skin calling to him. He bit into that skin and began sucking.

She could no longer contain her tears. They fell freely down her cheeks. A part of her mind was telling her to stop him. As a newly Turned he still did not understand when to stop feeding. He was draining her, weakening her. If she was human, he’d kill her. Sadly now more than ever she wanted to be human, she wanted to die.

Gerard thrust once more then exploded. Still he did not stop drinking her blood. The pull of the mindless pleasure was too strong. Suddenly something wet touched his cheek. For a moment the moisture was forgotten but then full realization struck him with such force he tore his mouth away from her neck. He lifted his head and looked into her face. She was so pale.

“Anna?”

She remained completely still.

“Anna.’ He said again. “Look at me.”

Slowly her beautiful icy blue eyes opened. When she looked into his topaz eyes more tears fell.

“Oh fuck.” He rolled off her. “Fuck, what have I done? I took too much of your blood.” Thinking quickly he lifted his arm and bit into the flesh. Moving it to her mouth he said, “Drink.”

Anna closed her eyes making no attempt to take the blood he offered.

“Anna drink.” He said frantically.

She slightly shook her head. “No. I will recover.”

He didn’t know if he should believe her. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t realize how much I was taking.”

“You will learn.’ Her voice was devoid of emotion. “You will be taught so you will know.”

He sat up next to her body. “You’ll teach me.”

“You will be taught.” She said again keeping her eyes closed. “Since I am not human with no heartbeat you had no sound to gauge your feeding on. You must also remember when around mortals to breath.”

Again he was shocked. Until now he hadn’t realized he wasn’t breathing. He gazed at her body. “You’re not breathing.”

“I am not with a mortal.”

The sound of her voice, the lack of emotion caused him to swear. “What the fuck is going on?”

“You have much to learn, that is all.”

Gerard was still having trouble gathering his thoughts but now that the lust was slowly abating his mind began to clear. “Sugar, I’m sorry. I came in here and saw you and…”

“The lust overtook you.” She said softly. “I understand.”

“Yeah but that don’t make it right.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, the feeling was so strong. I feel so strong.”

“You are strong.” Anna said in a monotone. “You are immortal now.”

He looked down at her. He hated that the first thought that came to his mind was she looked dead. She was so still, so pale. “Please breathe." He whispered.

“I am sorry the truth disturbs you but it is a truth you must embrace. We are both dead.” A tear rolled down her cheek, “I killed you.”

“What? No, Anna. Don’t say that.” He touched her arm but saw her flinch. “Look, I’m sorry. I tried to get control of myself before I came in here. I fuckin’ thought I had but obviously I was wrong.”

“I understand.’ She whispered. “I knew it would be this way. Do no worry in time you will be able to handle the lust. The sexual lust and the blood lust. You will be able to interact with mortals without the worry you will harm them.” Her voice cracked, “You will be able to couple with a mortal woman without harming her.”

Gerard’s mouth fell open. “What?”

Anna’s regained some of her control. When she spoke again her voice was stronger. “The sex between us that just happened could have permanently damaged a mortal woman. You do not realize your strength.”

He gazed down at her breast and saw the angry red bite marks. “Why aren’t you healing?”

“It will take time.’ She answered.

Realization hit him. “Because I weakened you, because I took too much of your blood.”

She nodded slightly.

He reached out and gently touched her stomach. Slowly his fingers moved down lower and lower until they reached the apex of her legs. Using his other hand he pushed her legs apart and was shocked to see blood now stained the sheets. “Oh fuck.”

“I will heal." She whispered.

“Anna how could you let me do this to you?” He asked shaking his head, trying to deny what he was seeing. Hating that the sight of the blood was once more calling to him.

Anna remained silent.

He shifted his body on the bed intent on healing her body. When his tongue darted out to lick the delicate skin he’d brutalized he heard her cry out to stop.

“Let me heal you.” He said before dropping his head once again between her legs.

“Please stop.’ Anna whispered. “Please.”

He ignored those pleas. His tongue slid up and down her delicate lips healing the skin he’d mindless injured. When it was done he pulled his body over hers again and placed his lips on her nipple. It took all his willpower not to let the taste of the drying blood effect him again but he found the strength. Once the skin was healed he again looked into her face.

Anna could take no more. She could not control the sobs that came from deep within her soul.

Gerard gently touched her face. “Sugar, it’s okay.’ He crooned.

She continued to sob.

It was at that moment the truth hit him. “Oh my God.” Rolling off her he moved beside her body then pulled her on to his lap. “Anna, look at me.” When her eyes didn’t open he said more forceful, “Open you eyes."

When she gazed into his topaz eyes another sob tore from her throat.

Gerard closed his eyes and concentrated. A moment later when he reopened them they were hazel. “Sugar, look into my eyes now. Oh God, I am so fuckin’ sorry. I didn’t know. I just assumed as my Maker you’d know the truth.”

Anna stared into his eyes. “The truth?” She whispered.

He smiled as everything finally came into focus. “Yes, the truth. Anna, my beautifully wrong Maker I’m just as wrong. Shit, I’m more wrong.”

She tried to make herself believe but fear was holding her heart.

He hugged her to him. “Oh Sugar I’m so sorry. I get it now. I understand what you thought but believe me I’m wrong.”

Anna’s voice was so small and childlike it almost broke his heart. “Gee, is it really you?”

“Yes, Baby. It’s me. I’m still me.” He rained kisses on her cheeks.

“Oh, Gee.” She cried.

“Sugar, from the moment I woke up turned I knew I had to make them believe I was turned correctly. I knew that was the only chance we had. I just didn’t realize you wouldn’t be able to tell it was all an act.” His smile slipped. “Anna about that woman. Please tell me you understand I did what I had to do. I knew if I didn’t have sex with her they would realize the truth.”

Happiness began to replace the emptiness in her soul. “You truly still have your human emotions?”

“Oh fuck yeah.” He grinned. “Shit I was so scared when I woke up and saw all those people standing there but I just kept reminding myself I couldn’t let it show.” His smile faded, “I knew what I had to do for us. Please tell me I did right.”

Anna reached up to touch his cheek, “Oh Gee.” She whispered through a fresh batch of tears. “Yes, you did right.”

He nodded, “I don’t think even Jacob knows.” He paused a moment then decided to tell her a truth she needed to hear. “I wanted Jacob to turn me. It was what I had talked to him about before this happened.” He gently stroked her cheek with his fingertip. “Your Maker is wrong too, Sugar. That’s why I wanted him to turn me. He turned you wrong I figured that maybe the same thing would happen to me.”

Anna was clearly shocked. “But Jacob is a Pure.”

“Yep but he’s like us.”

Suddenly Anna sat up needing to understand all that had happened. “Judith.”

Gerard nodded. “He was in love with her years ago when she was mortal. He believed she was his soul mate but the truth of her evil nature prevented him from turning her. As much as he loved her he knew it would be wrong. Still that love kept him from doing his duty as a Pure. He didn’t erase her memories of the Healer world.”

“And she hated that he turned me.” Anna said softly.

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, she hated both of you.”

“Oh Jacob.” Anna said her heart going out to her Maker. “I always knew when he would tell me about the possibility of meeting a soul mate he was speaking from experience. I just did not realize how painful the knowledge was to him.”

“He and Hudson are both very worried about you.’ Gerard said softly. “Because Katherine was there I wasn’t sure if I should reveal the truth about myself even though she knows about you and Jacob.”

“Katherine knows about us?” Anna asked growing nervous.

“Yeah.’ He nodded. “She first started talking about how she knew you were turned wrong. Jacob asked her what she planned on doing with that information and she said she’d tell the head of the council.”

“Jacob.”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, and when he asked her what the head of the council should do she said he should go on protecting you.”

Anna was shocked, “But she’s a Pure. That has to go against her beliefs.”

“Well so is Hudson and he feels the same way.”

Still trying to understand everything Anna asked, “But how did the truth about Jacob come to light?”

“Katherine knew. She said she saw the pain in his eyes before he ended Judith’s life.”

“So no one knows you are wrong?”

“No one but you.’ Gerard smiled.

“We can not keep this from Jacob.” Anna said slowly. “Or Marcus.”

“No, of course not.” He lifted his arm and bit into the skin. “We will go talk to them but not with you so weak.” This time when he offered his blood to her she accepted. As she gently sucked he cradled her body. When she had taken enough they celebrated their now eternal love, slowly, sweetly.

__________________________________________

“What is it?” Hudson asked as soon as he’d pulled the car to a stop. “Tell me.”

Christa smiled. “She is so happy.”

Hudson frowned, “Wait I thought you said she was overwhelmed with sorrow.”

“She was.” Christa nodded. “But not now that she knows the truth.”

It took Hudson only a moment to understand. “Son of a bitch. That fucker hid the truth, didn’t he?” He laughed.

“Yep.” Christa smiled, “He did.”

Hudson sighed, “Well as a Pure I know I’m supposed to be upset by this but…”

“You are very happy for both of them.” Christa said softly.

He stared into her eyes. “Still in my head?”

She nodded, “Sorry, can’t help it.”

Hudson took her hand in his. “There isn’t another person in this world I’d rather have in my head than you.”

Christa’s eyes widened as she heard his thoughts.

Reluctantly Hudson released her hand. “And now you know why I can’t ever see you again, not like this.”

“I understand.” Christa nodded sadly.