FicWad

I sat in my bed wondering things like ‘why would Jamia do this?’ and ‘why do they love me?’

But I can’t figure it out. I don’t have friends, or any real family, or…anything.
I don’t have money, or fashion sense.

I am a nobody. Why would they want me? So, I picked up a book, like a journal when I went with Lyn-z to get clothes. I hope she didn’t notice.

I filled it with my darkened ideas, which were MAW’s songs. My suicidal thoughts, my wishes, and thoughts.

My darkest days fill this book. And I hide it, in plain view. It actually sits on my desk, but no one comes up here anymore. I actually lock it when I leave, Dad gave me a key.

I sometimes feel as someone reads it though. Just a gut feeling I suppose. Sometimes I wake and a shadow is hovering over me, but when I put on my lamp, it’s not there.

I’m just paranoid.

“Avenge, you in here?” Frank asked, I stood up and opened the door.

He stood there with a magazine, with me and him on the cover. We had our hands linked, it said Frank was a pedophile. He smiled and started laughing. “How is this funny?” I asked, he led me to a computer. Fans were commenting stuff like-

KiljoyFan1893- I don’t believe this BS

Destroya7294-Frank’s a friendly person, and a child at heart.

GerardWayIsSex- So what? THAT IS GERARD’S DAUGHTER! FRANK IS BEING FRIENDLY! DUHH!

Frank giggled and said Lyn-z posted the last one. I smirked. “I’m sure that is her username!” I giggled. He smiled at me, just smiled. Didn’t do his sexy smirk or anything.

I smiled my fake smile and walked to the kitchen. Were, I got a popsicle out and slowly ate it, even though I was starving for not eating since last week. Ray came in, with his Ipod on and stopped when he saw me. He took his Ipod out and stared at me.

“Are you sick Hun?” He asked, I nodded. In the head I am.

“Yea, just a cold. I’m going to go outside,” I said and walked outside, Alicia saw me and smiled. She made her way to me, when Mikey walked towards her, she looked between us. Her eyes sparkled when Mikey got closer. I nodded towards him, she smiled and walked towards him. He smiled and touched her hip with one hand, and her face with the other. I walked by the scene to Dad, who was playing with Bandit. He started ti smile at me, but stopped when he saw me.

“When was the last time you ate??” He blurted out, this guys to good.

“I just ate a popsicle. Go ask Ray,” I said, he nodded. Bandit ran off somewhere, and I sat on the ground with him. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me comfortably. It felt nice.

“Dad…” I whispered.

“Yes?” He whispered back.

I gulped. “Could you help me make dinner tonight?” I asked, feeling confident in his arms.

“Sure, it’s 5, lets get started.” He said, he picked me up. I squirmed but his grip just tightened. I smiled and cuddled into his chest.

“What do you want to make?” He asked me, truthfully, nothing.

“nothing. But, I want to do something with you.” Those are the words that slipped from my mouth.

He smiled “Okay Avenge, lets go for a walk then?” He asked, I nodded. Even though I felt like I couldn’t walk anymore.

We walked for about 7 minutes, a couple blocks from home when my knees gave out.
I fell to them and I felt dizzy. Dad whipped out his cell phone and called Ray.

“Daddy, I feel very tired.” I said, he sat by me.

“Don’t close your eyes, talk or something.” He said frantically.

I tried. Through my dizziness I said “Sing!” Off the top of his head he started singing Planetary (Go!). I focused on his voice more than anything.

“Dad...” I whispered, it wasn’t working and fell into him, I could hear his sobbing from where I was fading.



It’s been so long, but alas, the story is being worked on!