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Chris McClean was standing on the dock of Camp Wawanakwa,and started his usual pre-season start monologue:

-Hi,Chris McClean here,starting off another totally dramatic season of Total Drama!We're off on season 4,but before we do that,let's make a season with REAL LIVE-ACTION TEENAGERS!Yeaahhh!That's right,these losers come from FOX,meaning they'll do anything for money!They come from Lima,Ohio,and they're ready for total craziness!We've got a Jew,a gay guy,a fat chick,a BLACK fat chick,an Asian goth,some jocks,a dumb blonde,a hot latina and more stereotypes than you can possibly imagine!So let's start this shitfest!Here they come!

The Boat of losers came,with Rachel Berry on its tip,waving to Chris.

-Hello there!I'm so psyched to be here! she said and came out of the boat.

-So,Rachel,how are you feeling? asked Chris.

-Absolutely great!I juts know I'm gonna win it,I just know!I won every competition I've ever been in,and I'm ready to--

-Yeah,that's great,now move along and go stand behind me.

-Okay!

Next on the Boat of Losers came Kurt Homo,I mean Hummel who jumped out of the boat onto the dock and said very sing-songly:

-My oh my,it's so faaaaaabuuuloooooooouuuuuusssss here!Everything is so mmmm-mmm!

He saw Chris,came over to him and said:

-Hey there,studly,you can come over to my log cabin for a nightly rendez-vous,anytime,if you know what I mean.Rawr!Mmmmm,that's so hawt!OHHHHHHHH!!

He moved on,leaving Chris in total shock,with a giant anime tear on the side of his head.Kurt saw Rachel and squealed:

-Gurrrrlllfriend,what up!Ohmygosh,I just LOVE your shoes,too bad they don't go with that skirt,but whateva,you look FFFFAAAABBBBUUUUUULLLLLOOOOOUSSSSS!!

-Wow,Kurt,now that you're here,you give a whole new meaning to camp-gay. she replied.

-Uh,like whatever!I just know I'm gonna win,because I'm FFFFFFFFAAAABUUUULLLLLL--

THWACK! Rachel punched him in the face.

Next came Noah Puckerman,AKA Puck.Chris asked him how he was and he just said "Whatever.",and moved on.Kurt said to him "FUCK ME,SAILOR!!!" and subsequently ended up in the lake.
Then came Mercedes Benz,uh Jones, and said:

-What up,mah peeps,Mercedes in da haus,and ain't no white girl gonna win,mmm-hmmm!

-What aboutAsian girls?

Tina Cohen-Chang came in and smiled.

-This place looks kinda cool.I like it!Maybe if you turn it into a graveyard--

-Nevermind! exclaimed Chris.
Bring on the next contestants.

Next came Artie...uhhh...Artie...umm...ahh...Artie...help me out here,would ya?...Artie...Abrams!Yeah,that's right,Artie Abrams!Anyways,he came,and also he also strolled down from the boat,onto the dock.

-Hey guys,what's up. he said.


Then came Finn Hudson,but I don't like him,so let's move on to the next one.It was Brittany S. Pierce,and as she was trying to get down from the boat,she tripped,and fell on her back with her legs still in the air,thus giving everyone a peek into her red Hello Kitty panties.Rachel and Kurt looked away,while Puck,Artie,Finn and Chris had massive nosebleeds.
Next came Santana Jennifer Lopez.She saw Brittany,and also had a nosebleed.Brittany pulled herself up and she and Santana moved along.
Quinn Fabray came,and at the sight of everybody else and the lousy Crap Wawanakwa said:

-Oh yeah,this is gonna be great.

Next came Jesse St. James.I'm not exactly sure if he's still with them,but (as of this writing) in the country I'm in,they're finishing season 1 ,and he's still with them,so I'll just mix up what I know,and what I found out on the Internet.Like the fact Lauren Zizes joined,and now she came after Jesse.She said hi,but you couldn't tell because her mouth was full of the hotdog she was eating.
Next we have Sam,who said nothing,because I don't know anything about him,except he looks like Justin Bieber,only older.

-Well,that's everyone! said Chris.

-What do you mean,everyone? said Rachel.
What about the rest of the Glee club?You know,Mike,Brad,that black guy...

-The Author doesn't care about them. Chris replied.

-Of course he doesn't. said Artie.

-You are right though,Rachel. said Chris.
We still got one more surprise contestant!Ladies and gentlemen,and Kurt the lady gentleman,I bring you THE ONE AND ONLY-

















































































































































































SUE SYLEVESTER!!!

-WHAT?!?!?! everybody exclaimed.

Just as she was introduced,Sue Sylvester came,got out on the dock,and spit out the box of tobacco she was chewing into the lake.She looked at everybody,who either wet their pants,or pooped them(or both,but I won't say who,hee-hee!).Then she said:

-Alright,let's get this started!I'm Sue Sylevester,but you already knew that.I'm not only here to win this crap,but also to scare the crap outta YOU.We're not on school grounds,which is why I can do what I want.Sure,I'm not a teenager,but do you dare defy me?DO YA?

Everybody shook.Rachel almost started to cry.Lauren fainted and crashed thorugh the dock right into the lake,making a splash big enough it splashe everyone,inlcludin YOU,dear reader.

Chris rubbed his hands gleefully(no pun intended.Or is it?),and said:

-Excellent,now we can all begin.Everybody,please come to the lunch-cabin,where Chef Hatchet will serve your meal.

-Good,cuz I'm hungry baby! said Mercedes.


In the lunch-cabin,everybody was struggling with their meal,mostly because of the varieties of ingredients in them;Brittany found a bird's beak in hers,Tina found a dead child's pinky finger in her,while Finn ate dog shit because I don't like him,and because I can do that.What nao?

-Ugh,this food is so totally unnnnfaaaabuuulooouuuuuussss!. said Kurt Himmler.
Eeewwww,I found a dead squirrel in it,yecch!

Santana was chewing her food and tasted a lot of things,including chicken,tartar sauce and toilet paper(she hoped it wasn't already used).She looked at Brittany,who had a very vacant look.Well,more vacant than usual.Santy asked her:

-Brittany,you seem distant.What's on your mind?

-I think my cat is cheating on me with one of my neighbours.

Everybody stopped eating as they were completely dumbfounded by this statement.But then they continued on.
Rachel was freaking out at her table,with Finn(who was eating his 11th plate of dog shit,this time with pidgeon crap sauce) listening to her.

-I mean,what if we have to do something dangerous,like jump out of an airplane in midair,or spend 15 minutes in a room with Roman Polanski without being raped?I have seen the 3rd season of this show,Finn,and I don't think I'm prepared to do a solo while being molested by a dirty old man!

-Relax,Rach,it's our first challenge,how hard could it be?


Cut to everybody on top of the giant cliff,with the lake under it,i their swimming suits.

-You just HAD to say it,didn't you Brett Fuckhead? said Tina to Finn.

-Okay,everybody let's do this! said Chris.
All you have to do is jump off this cliff,into the lake,and NOT get eaten by sharks.Ain't it fun?

-Sounds easy enough. said Sue.
I'll go first.

She jumped off the cliff,and landed straight into the lake.Two sharks came after her,but she just punched in the snouts,and moved onto the shore,where she dried off like a dog.

Chris looked with amazement,and asked who's gonna go next.Rachel interrupted him and asked him:

-Excuse me,Mr. McClean,but when do we sing?

-Uh,you don't.

-GASP! everybody was shocked and started protesting.

-What do you mean,we don't sing?

-Wat kinda crazy whiteass shit is this,baby?!

-THIS IS UNFABULOUSSSSSSSSS!

-Is goat cheese made of goats?

-WHY AM I STILL EATING DOG SHIT?

-And why am I still reading this crap?! said the reader and stopped reading.

-Do you have any idea what you've done? said Puck,of all people.
We live for singing.We live with singing.Every action we do,every conversation we make,it must involve singing,or we die.It's our oxygen,man.Without singing we're just a bunch of overused cliched stereotypes,and our show will be no different than any other teen-dramedy.Without singing,we'll be as boring and monotonous as Gossip Girl!
-I don't care. said Chris.
Jump or you won't win the million dollars.

Everybody was scared.How can they do something dangerous and deadly if they don't sing.Rachel cleared her throat and said:

-Fine.I'll go.And if I don't have to sing,so be it.Life isn't going to grant me everything I want,so I must do what I have to do if I have to be the best.

And with that,she jumped.

-GERONIMOOOOO!!

Mercedes Benz was inspired by Rachel's words.

-She's right,y'all.If life gives us a challenge,we should embrace it,and never mind if it doesn't go as per our expectations.Now come on mah brothaz and sistaz,let's do this,baby!

And so everybody jumped,and landed straight into the lake.They managed to get out of it before the sharks caught them,except Finn who was eaten by them,but then they threw him up.

-I'm okay! he said.

-Congratulations,teens! said Chris.
You managed to overcome your fears and did the challenge succesfully!

-YAY US!! everybody said.

-Now it's time for elimiations!

-QUE?!


That evening at the elimination ceremony,everybody was anxious to see who will leave the island first.Chris came up,and started:

-This is the elimination ceremony,in which we hold a ceremony to see who will be eliminated.Will it be Rachel?Finn?Quinn?Artie?Lauren?Sue??In any way,if you are given a marshmallow,you are safe from elimination.When I call out your name,I will throw that marshmallow.Right.Let's begin.Rachel.

-Yes!

-Santana.

-Oh yeah!

-Quinn.

-Phew!

-Puck.

-Duh.

-Artie.

-That's right,bitches!

-Kurt.

-FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABUUUUUUUUUUUUUULOUUUUUUUUUUUUSSS!

-Mercedes Benz.

-Oh yeah,baby!

-Brittany.

-Huh?[gets hit by marshmllow]Ow!

-Sue.

-But of course.

-Tina.

-Danke!

-Jesse.

-Yes!

-Sam.

-Yay!

-And finally...

Finn and Lauren were excited.Sweat was dripping down their faces,and they just wanted Chris to tell them who gets the final marshmallow.

-The final marshmallow goes to...


















































































































LAUREN!

-Yay! Lauren screamed,while spitting out the chips she was eating.

-No! said Finn. I lost?How?How can this be?I totally didn't foresee this!How could this have happened?

-I know,Finn,I can't believe it,too! said Rachel.

-Heck,even I am shocked. said Sue. That was some twist.

-Sorry,Finn,but your time is up! said Chris. Time for you to go to the Boat of Losers.

-Well,bye everybody! said Finn.

-We'll miss you Finn!! everyone said back.

-I won't!

-Shhh!

And with that,Finn got onto the Boat of Losers,and was no longer on Camp Whatefuckwa.

Chris started his ending monologue:

-What a piece of fucking crud this was!Seriously,why did you even read this?!Anyway,look out for more challenging challenges and twisty twists,in the next episode!Until then,waste more of your time with the next chapter!See ya!