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It was a dark and sunny day at McKinley High,Lima,Ohio,USA,North America,Earth,space,infinity.The cheerleaders were cheerin',the nerds were studying,the janitor was raping a senior.All in all,a pretty normal day.But,deep within the confines of the school,lied the Glee club,wherein Will Schuester was holding a special class for 24 Canadian animated teens.

-Hello,and welcome.My name is Will Schuester,and I will be your Glee club teacher for a while.If you have any questions,please,ask away.

-Yeah,I have a queston. said Heather.
What exactly do you DO in this crappy little club?

-We sing and...that's all. Will replied.

Everybody protested.In their latest season they were forced and they sure as Hell were not gonna go through the same shit all over again.

-This is outrageous! said Courtney.
Just as we were finished being forced to sing in wild deathly challenges,we are forced to sing AGAIN?!

-THis sucks. said Gwen.

-Wait,I forgot what we were talking about. said Lindsay.

-You just rest yo' pretty little head,baby. said Leshawna.

-I am not gonna sing again,got it? said Duncan.
I hate singing,it's fruity and gay,not to mention faggy.

-WHO SAID FAGGY?!?! Burt Hummel suddenly burst in.

-It's O.K.,Mr. Hummel said Will.
We weren't talking about your son.

-Oh okay. said Burt left.

-Anyways,where were we? said Courtney.
Oh yeah-THIS SUCKS!

-I wanna go home. said Gwen.

-Wait,I forgot what we were talking about. said Lindsay.

-WOW! Will exclaimed,out of nowhere.

-What is it,Curly? said Heather in response.

-You guys remind me so much of my Glee kids!Courtney,you are annoying and have a beatiful singing voice,just like Rachel.Duncan,if Puck had dyed his mohawk when he still had it,you'd be totally the same.Lindsay,you and Brittany are dumb blondes with big hearts.Leshawna,you are totally like Mercedes!Gwen,you're goth,just like Tina.And Eva,you and Sue are both sport-happy moody lesbians!Looking at you makes me wonder wether Ryan Murphy stole some ideas from your show.

-Whatever. said Heather.
At least nobody can copy off my character.

-Really,ever seen Heathers,Heather? said Beth.

-Lo sentimos, pero- Alejandro interrupted.
There's something that's been bugging me this whole time.

He pointed to a 25tg person,a guy with messy brown hair,glasses,a beard that looked pubic hair(or so he's been told),and who was wearing a hoodie and bermudas.

-¿Quién coño es este tío? Alejandro asked.

The mysterious stranger replied:

-Hi,my name is Luke,and I'll be joining you today.

-Wait,what?Why? said Bridgetttte.

-Cuz this is a Total Drama fanfic,and every Total Drama fanfic must have at least one original character created by the author.It's a rule of thumb among the fans who write TD fanfics.They put in a character based on themselves,just so they can be a part of the action.Ever heard of Total Drama Battlegrounds?That thing has 22 original characters plus you guys.And don't even get me started on the original fanseasons and Cody fics.

-Well,that explains a lot! said Cody,whose leg was being humped by Sierra.

-Anyways,let's get started! said Will.
Your goal is basically go thorugh a week in thi school,and each of you must sing a song reflecting on any situation you find yourself in.If you don't,you can just sing it here at the end of the week.That's all.

-Wait a minute. said Heather.
You're telling me all you do is go around and sing songs any chance you get.

-Yes.And they must be by a real singer.

-I don't know which is worse. said Gwen.
Being forced to sing on the top of our heads,or an actual song by an actual artist.At least,when we made up it was easy beacuse we didn't have to know them before hand,but with real songs you must know all the lyircs.

-Dis iz some crazy-ass white-ass shit,baby. said Lesauna.

-How do you think I feel,eh?! said Ezekiel.
I grew up on a farm,I barely know any songs!

-And most canciones I know are en Español. said Alejandro.

Everybody was murmuring,worried how they're gonna perform,until Izzy stood up and said:

-Well,I know what I'm gonna sing!A song that pefectly describes me!And I'll sing it right now!!

-Excellent,Izzy,come on over! said Will.

Izzy came in front of everybody and "started singing:":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRWSzRVg4kY

Hey!
Yeah!

I'm fly
The original
I'm sly
Unpredictable...
I'm nearly irresistible
And I don't even try
I'm easily excitable,
Completely undeniable,
And sometimes unrealible.
Don't ask me why,
Don't ask me why (why)

(chorus)
I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am
I can't change
I can't hide it
That's just the way I am
Might as well get over it
BUT Don't try to understand
I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am

From a whisper to a shout
On what the buzz
Is all about
Everybody's buggin' out
And I've only just begun
They can't rain on my parade
I'm sunshine on a cloudy day
Make lemons into lemonade
I'm just havin' fun
I'm havin' fun (I'm havin fun)

(chorus)
I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am
I can't change
I can't hide it
That's just the way I am
Might as well get over it
BUT Don't try to understand
I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am

I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am
I can't change
I can't hide it
That's just the way I am
Might as well get over it
BUT Don't try to understand
I'm strange
And I like it
That's just the way I am
Ha ha ha!

-Wow,Izzy that was great! said Will.
See,that's what I was talking about!Now go out,and do your own songs,teens!Except you,Izzy,you're off the hook.

-OHHHH YEAHHHHH. she replied.

As everybody was walking out,we follow Duncan and Courtney who were holding hands,because Duncan broke up with Gwen and got back together with Courtney during Izzy's song.

-Oh my little Dunky-poo,I'm so glad we're back. said Cortny.

-Me,too.I don't know what you do to me,but it's working,angelface! he replied.

-i know!It's like we're from 2 different worlds.I'm clean,nice and obssesive,while you're a dirty mohawk-wearing foul-mouthed bully-behaving sissy-like delinquent with a freakishly overly long torso.

-I know,we couldn't BE more different.And yet we always stay together.

-it's beacuse opposites attract,Dunkie-pie...

And they "started to sing:":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k

Duncan:
I'm M.C. Kat on the rap so mic it
Here's a little story and you're sure to like it
Swift and sly and I'm playing it cool
With my homegirl, Courtney LaPhoolle

Cortny:
Baby seems we never ever agree
You like the movies
And I like T.V.

Duncan:
I take thing serious
And you take 'em light
you go to bed early
And I party all night
Our friends are sayin'
We ain't gonna last

Cortny:
Cuz I move slowly

Duncan:
And baby I'm fast

Cortny:
I like it quiet

Duncan:
And I love to shout

Both:
But when we get together
It just all works out

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Cortny:
Who'd a thought

Duncan:
we could be lovers
She makes the bed

Cortny:
And he steals the covers

Duncan:
She likes it neat

Cortny:
And he makes a mess
I take it easy

Duncan:
Baby I get obsessed
She's got the money

Cortny:
And he's always broke
I don't like cigarettes

Duncan:
And I like to smoke
Things in common

Both:
There just ain't a one
But when we get together
We have nothin' but fun

I take--2 steps forward
I take--2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know--it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract

Repeat Chorus

Cortny:
Baby ain't it somethin'
How we lasted this long

Duncan:
You and me
Provin' everyone wrong

Cortny:
Don't think we'll ever
Get our differences patched

Duncan:
Don't really matter
Cuz we're perfectly matched

Repeat chorus twice

Duncan:
Nothing in common but this trust
I'm like a minus, she's like a plus
One going up, one coming down
But we seem to land on common ground
When things go wrong we make corrections
To keep things moving in the right direction
Try to fight it but I'm telling you Jack
It's useless, Opposites Attract

Repeat chorus to fade


And they both kiss and have HOT NASTY RAUNCHY SEX,while Gwen watches while hiding.
Once they were done,Kortny said she needed to go to the bathroom to take a gigantic dump,where Gwen confronted her.

-So,you and Duncan seem to have gotten back pretty inexplicably quickly.

-Yeah,so?We're meant for each other.

-Or maybe WE are meant for each other?

Gwen pushed Korny against the wall,and kissed her.Korny hesitated a little,but gave in.They made out for a good 10 minutes,until they finally siad:

-Holy crap! exclaimed Kory.
The shippers were wrong!The true pairing isn't you and Duncan,or me and Duncan,it's..you and me!

-Yes,and it feels so great! Gven replied.

Then they made ut for three days without gasping for air,until it struck them:

=Fucking crud!We have to tell Duncan!

Korrie and Gven went to Duncan,and Gven said:

-Dunkin,what I'm about to say,isn't easy to say...so I'll "just sing it:":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4r41vPTF8k

Jenny came over and told me about Brad
He's such a hairy behemoth she said
And dumb as a box of hammers
But he's such a handsome guy
And I opened up and I told her about Larry
And yesterday how he asked me to marry
I'm not giving him an answer yet
I think I can do better

CHORUS:
So we laughed, compared notes
We had a drink, we had a smoke
She took off her overcoat
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

So she called home to say she'd be late
He said, he worried but now he'd feel safe
I'm glad you're with your girlfriend,
Tell her "Hi" for me
then I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes
But it only lasted a little while
And then I felt your hand above my knee

CHORUS:
And we laughed at the world
They can have their diamonds
And we'll have our pearls
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me
I kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad
I kissed a girl

And we laughed at the world
They can have their diamonds
And we'll have our pearls
I kissed a girl (for the first time)
I kissed a girl (and I may do it again)
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me (but better)
I kissed a girl

I kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad
I kissed a girl (for the first time)
I kissed a girl (won't be the last time)
I kissed a girl
I kissed a girl


Duncan smiled,but soon realized what the song meant and whispered:

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--!!!

-Yeah,sorry about that. said Gwen.

[beat]

-OK,bi!

And with that,she and Kerry left.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Friday(which comes right after thursday,and saturday comes next).Ezekiel,Katie and Sadie were sitting on the steps of the schoooool,very sadd.Katie said:

-It's hopeless,guys!Everybody sang their songs,except us!

-I know said Sadie.
Beth's violin version of White and nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic was pure gold!

-Not to mention- Ezekiel said.
When Heather and Alejandro performed Macarena!I was really impressed,eh!

-Oh,and when Justin sang Too sexy for this shirt? Katie followed.
To which Leshawna responded with You're so vain?And Dj followed with Why can't we be friends?Just awesome!

-And yesterday,Cody sang I will kill you by Cannibal Corpse to Sierra,right after she sung to him Every breath you take by The Police. said Sadie.
Ehhhh,and Tyler sang Born this way after he admitted he sucks at sports.

-That's nothing,eh! said Ezekiel.
Lindsay sang Barbie girl,Bridgette sang Surfin' USA to which Geof respnded with Kokomo,and Noah,Owen,Trent and Harold performed the Caramelldansen!

-Waht the fucking heck are we gonna sing? said Katie.

Suddenly,they heard some noise behind them,and went to see what is it.They saw Eva,who was walking down nervosly to them and said:

-Okay,you 3 losers count as an audience,so I can start.

-Eva,what?

-Shut up,fattie!I haven't sung yet,but now I'm going to,and I need an audience!

-But why--

-Can it,homeschooled homeboy!"Okay now...":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc

Na na na
Come on
Na na na
Come on
Na na na na na
Come on
Na na na
Come on
Come on
Come on
Na na na na
Come on
Na na na
Come on
Na na na na na
Come on
Na na na
Come on
Come on
Come on
Na na na na

Feels so good being bad
There's no way I'm turning back
Now the pain is my pleasure
Cause nothing could measure

Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, out of line
The affliction of the feeling
Leaves me wanting more

[Chorus x2:]
Cause I may be bad
But I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air
I don't care
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But chains and whips
Excite me

Na na na na
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it

Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, out of line
The affliction of the feeling
Leaves me wanting more

[Chorus:]
Cause I may be bad
But I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air
I don't care
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But chains and whips
Excite me

Na na na na
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it

S...S...S
And
M...M...M
S...S...S
And
M...M...M

Oh
I love the feeling
You bring to me
Oh, you turn me on
It's exactly what
I've been yearning for
Give it to me strong

And meet me in my boudoir
Make my body say ah, ah, ah

I like it
Like it

[Chorus x2:]
Cause I may be bad
But I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air
I don't care
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But chains and whips
Excite me

Na na na na
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it
Come on
Come on
Come on
I like it
Like it

S...S...S
And
M...M...M
S...S...S
And
M...M...M
S...S...S
And
M...M...M
S...S...S
And
M...M...M

[beat]

Ezekiel:What?

-OKAY,tnx 4 ur time said Ewa and went away.

Then,Ezekiel had an idea:

-Guys,I know what we can sing!!

He whispered the idea to Katie and Sadie,to which they both said:

-How can we be so stupid?!It's the most awesomest song evar!!!11111!!!1!!1!!!11!!!¨


In teh Glee club,Will said:

-Well,done everybody!I'm very proud pof you!Except for Ezekiel,Katie,Sadie and Luke!What's the matta w'yall?You trippin?

-Don't worry,Mr. Shoe,I got my song right here! said Luke and went to the podium and started "to sing:":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z4m4lnjxkY

Ahhhhh ya ya yaaaah, ya ya yaaah, yaaah, ya yah.
Ohohohoooo! Oh ya yaaah, ya ya yaaah, yaaah, ya yah.
Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, oh hohohoh.
Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, oh hohohooooooooooo!
-aaaaoooooh, aaaooo hooo haha
Nah-nah-nah-nah-nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nuh-nah.
Nah-nah-nah-nun, nun-ah-nah, nun-ah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!
Nah-nah-nah-nah-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaah! Dah dah daaaaaaaaah
Da-da-daaah, daaah, daa-daah.
Lololololoooooooo! La la-laaaaaah, la la laah, lol, haha.
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Oh-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, lo-lo-loooo!
AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-eee-eee-EEEE!
Luh luh lah, lah, lah-lah.
Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo!-BOPahdududuh-dah-da dudaaah!
Da-da-daaah, daaah, daa-daah.
Lololololo, lololo, lololol, la la la la yaah!
Trolololo la, la-la-la, la-la-la-
Oh hahahaho! Hahaheheho! Hohohoheho! Hahahaheho!
Lolololololololo, lololololololol, lololololololol, lololo LOL!
Ahhhhh! La-la-laaah! La la-laaah, laaah, la-la.
Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo! La, la-laaaah, lalala, lol, haha.
Lolololo-lololo-lololo, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Lolololo-lololo-lololo, oh-ho-ho-ho hooooooooooooooooooooo!

Everybody made a standing ovation,clapped and cheered:

-That was great!

-That was awesome!

-You're better than Jesus!

-Encore!

-Super awesome!

And then,everybody had sex with Luke.
Afterwards,Kerry said:

-Well,that was great,but what about Ezekiel and Katie and Sadie?

-Don't worry,eh! said Ezekiel to Kyrie.
WE'VE got our song right here!It's from the 90's and every Canadian knows it!

-If that's what I think it is,then we should all sing along! said Heather.

-FUCK YEAH! everybody agreed.

Ezekiel,Katie and Sadie "started to sing":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF1b1pf9DRY

Katie:
Let's go to the mall everybody! Go!
C'mon Jessica, C'mon Tori,
let's go to the mall you won't be soarry.

Sadie:
Put on your jelly-bracelets,
and your cool graffiti-coat,
at the mall havin' fun is what its all about.

I haven't done my homework yet...

Ezekiel:
That's okay.

Sadie.
And you know how my parents get...

Ezekiel:
Whatever.

Sadie:
I don't care 'cause all my friends are gonna be there

All:
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall...
Today.

Katie:
Chloe, mouse, I love it.

There's this boy I like,
Met him at the food court.
He's got hair like Brettsy
and he does jumps on his skateboard.

Sadie:
I hope he asks me out,
take me to my favourite spot.
It'll be just him and me.

Ezekeil:
But don't forget the robot.

Katie:
Dad says I'm too young to date.

Ezekiel:
Lame.

Katie:
But baby I don't wanna wait.
I don't wanna wait.
Let's do it.
That's okay I'm gonna rock your body anyway.
I'm gonna rock your body till the Canada Day.

All:
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall...
Today.

Katie.
I went to the mall with a couple of friends.
I had a whole week's allowance to spend.
I want hoop earrings and a Benetton shirt.
We came here to shop and we came here to flirt.
I turned around and who should I see?
Prime Minister Brian Mulrooney.
He said, "Young lady I don't approve."
So I had to get down and bust tr�s sweet moves.
Hey Fred...c'mon...let's go to the mall!

Let's go to the mall everybody!

All:
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall...
Today.

Sadie:
Everybody loves the mall!

All:
Everybody come and play
Yeah!
Throw every last care away
I love my hoop earrings.
Let's go to the mall...
Today.

Today. [ X 32 ] Let's go to the mall. [ X 12 ]


Everybody laughed and managed to say:

-That was awesome! said Beth!

-I'm not ashamed to admit this,but I have a life-sized Robin Sparkles poster all over my wall! said Heather.

-Hell,I love her,too! said Duncan.

-Of course,baby! said Leshawna.
Every Canadian knows and loves Robin Sparkles!

-OKay,enough! said Will.
It's 3:50 a.m. right now,and the Author needs to go to bed,so let's finish this crap!

-Okay... everybody said and left.



For more wrong songs and song-wrongs,check out the next chapter!But first let's see how the Glee kids are doing so far...