Categories > Original > Humor > The Sitcom Exchange Programme:"Glee" meets "Total Drama"
A few weeks have passed since the first chapter,and all you need to know is that a few campers were eliminated(for reasons related to bribery,sexual blackmail,regular blackmail,sexual bribery,sexual bribery blackmail and mass murder).These are the reamining campers:Rachel,Kurt,Lauren,Sue,Brittany and Santana.
It was a beautiful sunny morning.Chris McLean was masturbating in his bed,when all of a sudden,Kurac,I mean KURT,bust in,and said:
-Mr. McClean,cum quick!Something totally UNNNNFFFFFABOLUSSSSS happened to Rachel!
-Oh good gawd,can't a guy jack off in his bed without being interrupted?! Chris replied,put his boxers on and followed Kurt to the girls' cabin,where Rachel was lying in her bed,looking very pale,with bloodshot eyes,a runny nose,wheezing nose and stringy hair.
-Rachel! said Chris.
You look like crap,dude!
Rachel was wheezing horribly.Lauren then explained:
-It's beacuse she can't sing,Mr. McLean.She was born to sing and sings at least 6 times a day.The deprivation of singing you made caused her serious health problems.
Chris looked at Rachel.She was gasping for air,while twitching uncontrollably.
-Send her to the nurses' room.
-But,mr. McLean Brittany said
You can't eliminate someone from a challenge just beacuse they've gotten sick from not folowing in their daily routine!Isn't that agains the rules?
-Screw the rules,I make them! Chris replied.
Now go to the cabin for breakfast,and wait for further instructions.
Once everyone left,Chris lied in Santana's bed,grabbed her panties,sniffed them,took off his boxers,and continued masturbating.
Back at the cabin,everyone was talking.
Kurt:Guuuys,what happened to Rachel is so UNNNNNNNNNNNNNFABUUUUUUUUULOUSSS!And this food is UNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFABBBBBULOUUUUUUSSSS!This fic is UUUUUUUNFFFFAAAABUUULLLOUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!Why is everything so freakin' UNNNNFFFAAABUUUUUULLLLLOUUUUSSSSS?!
Brittany:IKR.
Sue:I'm not surprised.Jewwie McTalentless was always weak.
Lauren:She's not weak,it's just her biggest fear came true.Rachel was always afraid she couldn't sing,and sinc now she can't this disease the result.
Satana:I know I would react the same way if my biggest fear came true.
Sue:O RLY?And what is your biggest fear?
Santana:Cockroaches.
Lauren:Huh.Mine is broccoli.Eeew.
Brittany:Mine is nuns.They creep me out.
Sue:I hate clowns.Nobody should be that happy.
Kurt:My fear is second-hand shops.or anywhere where cheap stuff is bought.Augh.
Chris[bursting in]:GUESS WHAT,EVERYBODY!!!!
Everyone else:それは何ですか？
Chris:I have been eavesdropping on you,and decided to change today's challenge.You were supposed to walk on a clothing line from one 2500 ft tall hill to another,over a lake of sulfuric acid,while juggling 12 flaming chainsaws and a rabid monkey,also while reciting the first 20 pages of Shakespeare's Hamlet,but I decided that you should face your fears you just said!Whoever doesn't conquer their fear,will be up for elimination.Rachel didn't conquer hers,so she's the first to go!
Everyone else:Nein!
Brittany:Non e vero!
Santana:Pička ti materina,Chris!
Sue:Homo solus aut deus aut daemon!
Chris:Mais oui,motherfuckers! Allons, allons-y!
And with that,everybody gone out to the woods for the first part of the challenge.Chris showed a shower a cabin,and told Santana to come inside.
-O.K.,but I don't have a good feeling about this.
Once she got in,Chris locked it with a bigass lock,and told Chef to come on over.Chef came with a big bucket full of nasty brown Mexican cockroaches.As soon as she saw them,Santy pounded on the cabin screaming very loudily.Everybody looked in shock as Chef put a cockroach inside teh cabin from a samll hole on the top.Santana panicked and started scratching the cabin wall as the roach was crawling up her leg.Chris tolde her if she escapes,she loses and must go to elimination.Santy mu je rekla da joj puši kurac.Then,Chef poured the entire bucket of roaches into the cabin,which made Santana berserk.Suddenly she turned into the Hulk,burst through the cabin,squished all the roaches,and killed Chef with her laser beam eyes.Once she turned back to normal,Chris bitchslapped her and said:
-That was my boyfriend,bitch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the next challenge,Sue was in a boxing ring,and had to fight some clowns.She managed to punch and kick and defeat 17 clowns in 1 minute.She won.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren was given a bowl full of broccoli and had to eat all of them.Once she managed to bite the first one,she barfed all over everyone else,which made them barf on each other.She lost.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany's task was to fight 9 flying robotic ninjas dressed as nuns.She just ran way and hid under her bed in the girls' cabin.The 9 flying robotic ninjas dressed as nuns simply flew to New Jersey and destroyed it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the last part of the challenge,Chris first scolded the teens:
-I am very disappointed in all of you.Nobody excpet Sue couldn't face up and face their fear.THe whole point of this challenge was to improve your abilities and handling in difficult situations.But you cowards failed.
-We know,Mr. McLean. said Santana.
If we just fessed up an stood up to our fears,maybe we could have conqured them.After all,fears are nothing more than man's inability to face the hardships life and his own flaws.It's O.K. to be afraid,but it's not O.K. to be afraid of everything life throws at you.
-Yeah,whataver. Chris replied to Sonata.
Kurt,you're up.
Kurt stepped up,and Chris showed him a pile containg a gray beer-stained hoodie,green sweatpants,a wife beater,brown socks and dirty white shoes with a hole on each.
-Eeeewww,what do you want me to do with all of this UUUUUUNNNFFFFFFFFFABUUUULOOOOOOOOUUUSSSSS crap? Kurt said.
-Put it on. Chris replied.
-Are you serious?It's so hideous and unfashionable!
-Put them on,or it's elimination time for you!
-But I--
-Put them on,Kurt!
-Come on,Kurt,put them on! said Brittany.
There's still a chance for yout to conquer your fears!
Kurt trembled,but finally gave in,and decided to put on the clothes.He first took off his own,and revealed to everyone his Victoria's secret white lace bra and panties,complete with silk pantyhose.As he was putting on the wife beater and hoodie,he shouted and Chris:
-You happy now,McLean?!HUh?!Are ya?!Is this what your sick twisted mind wanted?!I hate you!!From now on I shall forever damn the name Chris!It's the worst name in the world!Anybody named Chris is cursed and doomed forever!!
He finally put on all the clothes.Everybody crapped and cheered,and Chris congratulated him.But suddenly they heard something coming from the bushes.It was Rachel.She was still pale looking and had stringy hair.She was wearing her white nightdress,a pair of brown boots,a sailor's hat,and she was holding a cleaver behind her back.Her eyes were still bloodshot,her pupils were unnaturally wide,and as she was walkiong over to the gang,she kept repeating over and over:
-You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.
Kurt said:
-Uh,Rachel,what are you--
She looked at him with menacing eyes.Everybody was scared shitless at the sight of Rachel's look,complete with mad eyes and a disturbing grin.She then said:
-Hu hu hu,you wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.Now you'll see what consequnces will come from your insolent behaviour.
She wielded the cleaver towards Chris,who ducked,and so the cleaver hit Kurt right in the face.Everybody screamed.Kurt's body fell down with a loud thump,as his blood stained Rachel's nighty.She looked down on him,and then looked back at everyone with a horrible look in her eyes.She said:
-Huh huh,he's dead.Ugh.Ugh.Ugh.Dead.Dead.Ugh.Ugh.Gh...gh..gh..ghhhh...hah hah.Heh heh.
She tilted her head back and laughed crazily:
-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!OOH-HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!!
She then swung her cleaver towards everyone else who started screaming and running away.Unfortunately,Rachel was faster,and managed to kill Sue and Santana by chopping their heads off.She then threw her cleaver at Lauren which hit her in the back.As soon as she fell down to the ground,Rachel picked up the cleaver form her back and chased after Chris and Brittany.Chris hid in his cabin,but before Brittany could hide in it,Rachel grabbed her ponytail,and pulled her to her side,and slit her throat.She crashed through the cabin door,and saw Chris hiding in his closet.
-Come out of the closet,Mr. McLean!I have a solo I want to show you!
She opened the closet door,and before Chris could scream,Rachel swung her cleaver at his shoulder,causing him to collapse.Rachel laughed:
-Ha ha ha hah!Yes,that's it!That's everyone!Everyone!EVERYONE!AH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
As she was laughing,Chris slowly lost his consciousness,and everything faded to black.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris later woke up in a hospital bed.
-Huh?Where am I? he said.
He felt bandages over his shoulder wound,and saw a doctor coming in.
-Ahhh,you're awake,Mr. McLean.My name is Dr. Agqueen,and I fixed that nasty wound of yours.
-Doctor,can you tell me what happened?Everything is such a blur.
-To be honest,I don't know for sure.The police is still investigating the murders on your camp.I'm very sorry to say you're the only one who survived.
Chris stared blankly at his bedsheet.
-And we're still trying to figure out who killed all of those teens,and who tried to kill you.
-Huh?What do you mean?It was Rachel!Rachel Berry,man!She's the one who committed all of those murders!
-Uh,that's impossible,sir.She was dead before all the murders occured.The inspector already checked.
-Wha-what?She was dead?
-Yes.She died from hypothermia and a really bad fever.The police suspect the killer put his murder weapon into her hands just so he could have someone to frame,but he chose the wrong girl.
-No,dude,that can't be possible!I saw her with my own eyes!We all saw her with our own yes!It was Rachel Berry,it couldn't have been anyone else!
-Well,unless she was a zombie,I don't see how that would be possible.
Chris just stopped and stared blankilly again.
-You need to rest,Mr. McLean.I will come afterwards to check up on you,and then the police will want to ask you a few questions.
The doctor left,and Chris was alone.He kept thinking over and over what just happened.
unless she was a zombie,I don't see how that would be possible
unless she was a zombie
she was a zombie
a zombie...
Suddenly,a hand came form under the bed and grabbed the bedside.Chris was frozen shocked and saw Rachel's ghostly white face with blood red eyes slowly rising from under the bed.She whispered:
-Mr. McLean...I came to get you...
These fanfics didn't end.
They are being continued...being,being continued.
Someone please end them all.
These cruel,evil,sorrowful stories.
Please end them all.
That's my last wish.
Rachel continued:
-HU HU, THAT TIME I ONLY SPARED YOU,DIDN'T I?BUT THIS TIME I CHANGED MY MIND! AH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
"End credits":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrC8GVhFTxk
It was a beautiful sunny morning.Chris McLean was masturbating in his bed,when all of a sudden,Kurac,I mean KURT,bust in,and said:
-Mr. McClean,cum quick!Something totally UNNNNFFFFFABOLUSSSSS happened to Rachel!
-Oh good gawd,can't a guy jack off in his bed without being interrupted?! Chris replied,put his boxers on and followed Kurt to the girls' cabin,where Rachel was lying in her bed,looking very pale,with bloodshot eyes,a runny nose,wheezing nose and stringy hair.
-Rachel! said Chris.
You look like crap,dude!
Rachel was wheezing horribly.Lauren then explained:
-It's beacuse she can't sing,Mr. McLean.She was born to sing and sings at least 6 times a day.The deprivation of singing you made caused her serious health problems.
Chris looked at Rachel.She was gasping for air,while twitching uncontrollably.
-Send her to the nurses' room.
-But,mr. McLean Brittany said
You can't eliminate someone from a challenge just beacuse they've gotten sick from not folowing in their daily routine!Isn't that agains the rules?
-Screw the rules,I make them! Chris replied.
Now go to the cabin for breakfast,and wait for further instructions.
Once everyone left,Chris lied in Santana's bed,grabbed her panties,sniffed them,took off his boxers,and continued masturbating.
Back at the cabin,everyone was talking.
Kurt:Guuuys,what happened to Rachel is so UNNNNNNNNNNNNNFABUUUUUUUUULOUSSS!And this food is UNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFABBBBBULOUUUUUUSSSS!This fic is UUUUUUUNFFFFAAAABUUULLLOUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!Why is everything so freakin' UNNNNFFFAAABUUUUUULLLLLOUUUUSSSSS?!
Brittany:IKR.
Sue:I'm not surprised.Jewwie McTalentless was always weak.
Lauren:She's not weak,it's just her biggest fear came true.Rachel was always afraid she couldn't sing,and sinc now she can't this disease the result.
Satana:I know I would react the same way if my biggest fear came true.
Sue:O RLY?And what is your biggest fear?
Santana:Cockroaches.
Lauren:Huh.Mine is broccoli.Eeew.
Brittany:Mine is nuns.They creep me out.
Sue:I hate clowns.Nobody should be that happy.
Kurt:My fear is second-hand shops.or anywhere where cheap stuff is bought.Augh.
Chris[bursting in]:GUESS WHAT,EVERYBODY!!!!
Everyone else:それは何ですか？
Chris:I have been eavesdropping on you,and decided to change today's challenge.You were supposed to walk on a clothing line from one 2500 ft tall hill to another,over a lake of sulfuric acid,while juggling 12 flaming chainsaws and a rabid monkey,also while reciting the first 20 pages of Shakespeare's Hamlet,but I decided that you should face your fears you just said!Whoever doesn't conquer their fear,will be up for elimination.Rachel didn't conquer hers,so she's the first to go!
Everyone else:Nein!
Brittany:Non e vero!
Santana:Pička ti materina,Chris!
Sue:Homo solus aut deus aut daemon!
Chris:Mais oui,motherfuckers! Allons, allons-y!
And with that,everybody gone out to the woods for the first part of the challenge.Chris showed a shower a cabin,and told Santana to come inside.
-O.K.,but I don't have a good feeling about this.
Once she got in,Chris locked it with a bigass lock,and told Chef to come on over.Chef came with a big bucket full of nasty brown Mexican cockroaches.As soon as she saw them,Santy pounded on the cabin screaming very loudily.Everybody looked in shock as Chef put a cockroach inside teh cabin from a samll hole on the top.Santana panicked and started scratching the cabin wall as the roach was crawling up her leg.Chris tolde her if she escapes,she loses and must go to elimination.Santy mu je rekla da joj puši kurac.Then,Chef poured the entire bucket of roaches into the cabin,which made Santana berserk.Suddenly she turned into the Hulk,burst through the cabin,squished all the roaches,and killed Chef with her laser beam eyes.Once she turned back to normal,Chris bitchslapped her and said:
-That was my boyfriend,bitch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the next challenge,Sue was in a boxing ring,and had to fight some clowns.She managed to punch and kick and defeat 17 clowns in 1 minute.She won.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lauren was given a bowl full of broccoli and had to eat all of them.Once she managed to bite the first one,she barfed all over everyone else,which made them barf on each other.She lost.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany's task was to fight 9 flying robotic ninjas dressed as nuns.She just ran way and hid under her bed in the girls' cabin.The 9 flying robotic ninjas dressed as nuns simply flew to New Jersey and destroyed it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the last part of the challenge,Chris first scolded the teens:
-I am very disappointed in all of you.Nobody excpet Sue couldn't face up and face their fear.THe whole point of this challenge was to improve your abilities and handling in difficult situations.But you cowards failed.
-We know,Mr. McLean. said Santana.
If we just fessed up an stood up to our fears,maybe we could have conqured them.After all,fears are nothing more than man's inability to face the hardships life and his own flaws.It's O.K. to be afraid,but it's not O.K. to be afraid of everything life throws at you.
-Yeah,whataver. Chris replied to Sonata.
Kurt,you're up.
Kurt stepped up,and Chris showed him a pile containg a gray beer-stained hoodie,green sweatpants,a wife beater,brown socks and dirty white shoes with a hole on each.
-Eeeewww,what do you want me to do with all of this UUUUUUNNNFFFFFFFFFABUUUULOOOOOOOOUUUSSSSS crap? Kurt said.
-Put it on. Chris replied.
-Are you serious?It's so hideous and unfashionable!
-Put them on,or it's elimination time for you!
-But I--
-Put them on,Kurt!
-Come on,Kurt,put them on! said Brittany.
There's still a chance for yout to conquer your fears!
Kurt trembled,but finally gave in,and decided to put on the clothes.He first took off his own,and revealed to everyone his Victoria's secret white lace bra and panties,complete with silk pantyhose.As he was putting on the wife beater and hoodie,he shouted and Chris:
-You happy now,McLean?!HUh?!Are ya?!Is this what your sick twisted mind wanted?!I hate you!!From now on I shall forever damn the name Chris!It's the worst name in the world!Anybody named Chris is cursed and doomed forever!!
He finally put on all the clothes.Everybody crapped and cheered,and Chris congratulated him.But suddenly they heard something coming from the bushes.It was Rachel.She was still pale looking and had stringy hair.She was wearing her white nightdress,a pair of brown boots,a sailor's hat,and she was holding a cleaver behind her back.Her eyes were still bloodshot,her pupils were unnaturally wide,and as she was walkiong over to the gang,she kept repeating over and over:
-You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.You wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.
Kurt said:
-Uh,Rachel,what are you--
She looked at him with menacing eyes.Everybody was scared shitless at the sight of Rachel's look,complete with mad eyes and a disturbing grin.She then said:
-Hu hu hu,you wouldn't let me sing,Mr. McLean.Now you'll see what consequnces will come from your insolent behaviour.
She wielded the cleaver towards Chris,who ducked,and so the cleaver hit Kurt right in the face.Everybody screamed.Kurt's body fell down with a loud thump,as his blood stained Rachel's nighty.She looked down on him,and then looked back at everyone with a horrible look in her eyes.She said:
-Huh huh,he's dead.Ugh.Ugh.Ugh.Dead.Dead.Ugh.Ugh.Gh...gh..gh..ghhhh...hah hah.Heh heh.
She tilted her head back and laughed crazily:
-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!OOH-HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!!
She then swung her cleaver towards everyone else who started screaming and running away.Unfortunately,Rachel was faster,and managed to kill Sue and Santana by chopping their heads off.She then threw her cleaver at Lauren which hit her in the back.As soon as she fell down to the ground,Rachel picked up the cleaver form her back and chased after Chris and Brittany.Chris hid in his cabin,but before Brittany could hide in it,Rachel grabbed her ponytail,and pulled her to her side,and slit her throat.She crashed through the cabin door,and saw Chris hiding in his closet.
-Come out of the closet,Mr. McLean!I have a solo I want to show you!
She opened the closet door,and before Chris could scream,Rachel swung her cleaver at his shoulder,causing him to collapse.Rachel laughed:
-Ha ha ha hah!Yes,that's it!That's everyone!Everyone!EVERYONE!AH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
As she was laughing,Chris slowly lost his consciousness,and everything faded to black.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris later woke up in a hospital bed.
-Huh?Where am I? he said.
He felt bandages over his shoulder wound,and saw a doctor coming in.
-Ahhh,you're awake,Mr. McLean.My name is Dr. Agqueen,and I fixed that nasty wound of yours.
-Doctor,can you tell me what happened?Everything is such a blur.
-To be honest,I don't know for sure.The police is still investigating the murders on your camp.I'm very sorry to say you're the only one who survived.
Chris stared blankly at his bedsheet.
-And we're still trying to figure out who killed all of those teens,and who tried to kill you.
-Huh?What do you mean?It was Rachel!Rachel Berry,man!She's the one who committed all of those murders!
-Uh,that's impossible,sir.She was dead before all the murders occured.The inspector already checked.
-Wha-what?She was dead?
-Yes.She died from hypothermia and a really bad fever.The police suspect the killer put his murder weapon into her hands just so he could have someone to frame,but he chose the wrong girl.
-No,dude,that can't be possible!I saw her with my own eyes!We all saw her with our own yes!It was Rachel Berry,it couldn't have been anyone else!
-Well,unless she was a zombie,I don't see how that would be possible.
Chris just stopped and stared blankilly again.
-You need to rest,Mr. McLean.I will come afterwards to check up on you,and then the police will want to ask you a few questions.
The doctor left,and Chris was alone.He kept thinking over and over what just happened.
unless she was a zombie,I don't see how that would be possible
unless she was a zombie
she was a zombie
a zombie...
Suddenly,a hand came form under the bed and grabbed the bedside.Chris was frozen shocked and saw Rachel's ghostly white face with blood red eyes slowly rising from under the bed.She whispered:
-Mr. McLean...I came to get you...
These fanfics didn't end.
They are being continued...being,being continued.
Someone please end them all.
These cruel,evil,sorrowful stories.
Please end them all.
That's my last wish.
Rachel continued:
-HU HU, THAT TIME I ONLY SPARED YOU,DIDN'T I?BUT THIS TIME I CHANGED MY MIND! AH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
"End credits":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrC8GVhFTxk
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