FicWad

Brendon was awoken by someone lightly pushing his shoulder. He looked up to see a grinning Jessica. She hovered over him, a smile playing on her pink flesh colored lips.
"Time to get up kid. We have to be out of here in two hours." Brendon nodded, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes and looked over to Ryan who was still soundly asleep. "You can put him in the cart, I don't care. Just get packed up." She walked out of the room and Brendon sighed, slipping on some random items of clothing before picking Ryan up. He carried the sleeping boy to their train cart, allowing him to sleep on the pillows. Brendon left him there, cleaning up camp with everyone else.
When he walked back into the train cart where Ryan was sleeping he noticed that something was off. There was a cat that was curled next to the boys sleeping head, staring at Brendon expectantly, but there was nothing to usual about that. The door closed and Brendon continued to watch Ryan as he slept, looking his body over for what was wrong. The rest of the room was fine, masks hanging off of the walls that were lined with pickled punks, the light coming from a small window and a few lamps scattered amongst the pillows blankets and trunks filled with costumes. They were the only two people in the room, everyone else in the passenger cars or their own carts stuffed with props.
Ryan looked peaceful when he slept. He stayed on his side, his arms curled around a blanket. The dim lighting caste shadows over his thin frame, his eyelashes creating pointy shadows on his cheeks. Brendon shook his head, shifting from one foot to another. With a defeated sigh he gave up and walked out of the car and into the one next to it.
It was a small passenger car, a bar lining the right side while the left was lined with tables where people could eat and drink talk and play games, a small washroom in the corner for the days they rode in the train without stopping. There was a table that had most of the other teens sitting at it, cards scattering the top of the table while everyone held their cards face down.
They all looked normal enough. Lee was wearing a pink v-neck with a black beanie that showed how long his light brown hair was, though his pants weren't visible thanks to the table that stayed in the way. All of the makeup was washed off of his face, showing the tattoo that he covered up each night, a long snake like thing that looked almost as if it was crawling out of his eye.
Tatiana sat next to him, her make up wiped off as well, though her face was still as pale as ever. She was only wearing a black tank-top that had lace at the top and blue and black shorts that laced up the sides. Her red hair was pulled into a pigtail, her glasses balanced on the bridge of her nose.
Rii had all of his piercings in, something that he only did when he wasn't expected to do otherwise. A nose piercing, spider bites, and cartilage piercings up both of his ears, though most of the time those ones were covered with his hair anyway. He was wearing a random band tee shirt, probably something so underground that not even the band itself knew it's name. He had his black bandanna around his neck, hiding the small Adams-apple that he had. His hair stuck up in every direction, showing that he hadn't bothered to do anything to it.
Max sat cross-legged on his seat, his hands toying with the hem of his pants. He was shirtless, but he hated wearing shirts, so it wasn't usual with him. Unlike Rii, his hair was perfectly combed, the normally stray locks looking perfectly groomed and in place.
Joshua's eyes kept darting back in forth between Rii and Tatiana, probably debating which one would win the round. He was makeup free, his face paint completely washed off for the day. His blond hair was braided, and Brendon guessed that it was just the works of one of the girls. He was wearing a lime green shirt that had sleeves that went down to his elbows. A locket placed over the shirt.
Everyone placed a card on the table, three of their faces scrunching and looking angry as they all placed three other cards face down on the round table.
Jerome was out, his arms folding with a huff. He was wearing a grey hoddie. His face had a star on it, and it was pouting like a five-year-old. His hair was pulled into a ponytail at the top of his head, proving that the young girls were messing with people's hair.
Brendon wondered where the others were, knowing that there were plenty of other people that would want to play, but decided it was best to just roll with it. He made his way over to the table, pulling up a chair as he watched his friends and co-workers play War. Four cards were placed on the table, and after they all counted to three they were flipped over.
Queen, Jack, Ten, Five. Tatiana won, taking all of the cards and putting them into her stack that stayed upside down.
"You're shirt looks radioactive." Brendon said as he stared at Joshua, his head tilted to the side. The rest of the group went into a laughing fit, each one adding their own comments to his practically neon lime shirt. Joshua put his hands on the table, his cards in between them.
"You're shirt makes you look fat." Brendon looked down, giving a small shrug.
"That's true." Brendon was giving him a shit eating grin and Joshua just rolled his eyes. The argument was over, everyone knew that. Brendon always won the little skirmishes that he made. It was just his pranking ways that put him in the lead.
"You can play next round." Lee said with a smile. Four more cards.
Two Kings, Seven, Three. Rii and Tatiana both put three more cards on the table, counting once more before flipping them.
Eight, Nine, Two. Ace, Ten, Four.
"Are Ace's high or low?" Brendon asked as he watched the other two play.
"High. Tatiana won." Jerome said. He still looked upset about being kicked out. Four more cards.
Ace, Queen, Nine, Six. Lee was out, and Rii won.
"So where's you're boy? Why isn't he here to join in on the fun?" Tatiana asked as she looked up at Brendon. Three cards.
Jack, Seven, Three. Tatiana took the cards once more.
"He's sleeping. He hasn't had much since we started, so I figured it wouldn't be worth it to wake him." Brendon said with a shrug. Three cards.
Eight, Five, Two. Joshua was out.
"Want something to eat? I'm going to go to the snack bar." Max said as he stood. Rii took the cards.
"I want a samwich." Jerome said as he smiled up at Max, who was a good foot taller than him when he stood.
"Can you get me a bag of chips?" Lee asked with a small smile.
"For the last time Jii, they are SANDwiches. SANDWICHES. Not samwiches." Joshua said as he shook his head in slight frustration. "I'll have a soda."
"I think they sound better being called samwiches. Makes them more unique." Tatiana said with a smile, laughing at the look on Rii and Joshua's face.
"Anymore ridiculous requests?" Max asked as he started to walk away.
"Yeah, I want a smawich in the shape of a unicorn. It needs to be whole wheat with fresh peanut butter. I mean, you have to stand there and make the peanut butter and then put it on the samwich. Oh, and it can't have crusts. And it has to be served on the expensive China." Brendon kept a straight face when he said it, but everyone was laughing again.
"Right, one more bag of chips." Max walked off to the snack bar. Two cards.
Ten, Nine. Rii took the cards.
"So Brendon, have you tried to count how many pickled punks are in your room yet?" Jerome said with a large grin.
"Hmmm.....No. I haven't really paid much attention to them. Those things may be rubber, but they creep me the hell out."
"I know right? And some of them are two headed or have those creepy ass spike things." Lee said with a shiver.
"Are you calling me ugly?" Tatiana said as she stared at Lee.
"No, never. I would never." Lee looked a lot like a frightened animal and stuttered his response.
Rii talked, "I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject."
The rest of the day continued on in that manner, something that Brendon couldn't care less about. Eventually they stopped in a town that had a carnival, setting everything up before dark. Tents connected to other tents, making it to where they covered a small space on the outside. Though, the inside looked amazing. It was at least three times the size of the outside. There was one room for all of their oddities, each member of the show wearing the masks that lined the walls of Brendon and Ryan's room. Brendon was no different, wearing a fox mask as he stood next to Tatiana, the two both watching as everyone else continued to change into their stage clothes.
The carnival opened, people crowding to the tent. They kept everything PG for the sake of not having to many crying children, though they kept a back room for the teens and parents like they always did, showing the strange and disgusting like it was nothing. To them, it wasn't anything. Just a part of life. Half of them couldn't even live in the world like normal people. They HAD to live life they way they did. It wasn't a choice, it was something they were born with.
It ate away at some of them.
And yet they all always acted like family, each one helping each other on their acts, loving every moment of being with their friends. With the other outcasts. The freaks. The losers. The deformed.
The talented.
Each and every time Brendon did a show with them, he could feel how everyone else felt. Most of them seemed indifferent, being used to life as a freak. Not that Brendon was always necessarily normal, but he could at least go to school like a normal boy. Sure his parents thought he was a monster, but didn't most parents already think that about their kids? He played the piano for each of the acts, loving the way the smooth keys felt against his calloused fingers.
The night ended and just as quickly as they set up, they packed everything away. When everything was loaded up the workers went to their carts, knowing that they had to be in a new city by the next day. After a final round of cards after supper, Brendon wondered back to the room he shared with Ryan.
And the feeling came back.
Something was wrong. Horribly wrong.
Brendon made his way over to Ryan, sitting down next to the older boy. He put the back of his hand against the other boys cheek, feeling the warmth of Ryan's body on his cold hands. His breathing. Something wasn't right with it. It was jagged, almost like it hurt him each time he inhaled. Brendon's brows furrowed as he stared at the older male. He put his hand on Ryan's shoulder gently, shaking the sleeping boy to try and wake him.
"Ry. Wake up." Brendon said when Ryan didn't respond. Brendon started to panic, his mind racing as Ryan continued to not want to wake from his peaceful slumber. Brendon looked around the room, staring at the leather masks of bunny's that looked more like Donnie Darko than a normal bunny and all of the pickled punks that lined their room. Nothing seemed to want to give Brendon an answer to what he should do. He got up, going towards the door that lead to the other train cars. The door was thin and tall, making it to where he could barley fit through it to pass to the other.
He scanned the faces, looking for someone who could help. He spotted Nubem, sipping on tea as she taught Eva how to read tarot cards. She was his best bet. He made his way over to her, clearing his throat as he looked at her with worried eyes.
"What's wrong with your boy?" She said without looking up. Eva gave Brendon a small smile, slipping out of the seat and down the line of tables to talk to some of the other people in the car.
"I don't know. He won't-"
"Wake up." She stood, putting her cards down to follow Brendon back to his car. "This is surprisingly nicer than ours." She said as she looked around. She picked up a pickled punk, staring at the baby with spikes down it's back. "How did you get this one?"
"It's the prop car, that's why there isn't that much space." Brendon said scratching the back of his head. She nodded, putting the jar down to follow Brendon over to where Ryan lay.
"How long has he been out?" She asked as she looked at Ryan, running her hand through his slightly sweaty hair.
"I don't know....Since last night after supper." Brendon stated with a shrug. She gave a small sigh, muttering something in pig Latin. She was pretty for how old she was. She looked like she was barley in her twenties even though Brendon knew that she was old enough to be his grandfathers mother. Her long blond and wavy hair went past her waist to her hips, making him wonder if she sat on her hair every time she sat. Like most people in the cirque on off days she wore normal clothing, loose black pants with a tight red shirt that showed off some of her chest. She looked a lot more like Tatiana's mother than Eva's, but everyone knew better. Her orange eyes scanned Ryan, looking past his skin and into his veins. She had white skin. Not white in the since that it was light. It was practically as white as snow, a deathly color that seemed to accent her hair. Once again Brendon wondered how she could give birth to a girl with dark tan skin and aqua eyes with black hair.
"Do you know if he had to take anything? Or if he did any drugs?" She asked as she peeled her eyes off of Ryan and into Brendon's. He shook his head, kneeling down next to her.
"He didn't have any marks on his arms and I know he doesn't have any nose bleeds or anything. Why?" Brendon asked as he looked her over.
"There's something missing in his blood stream. It's odd, I've never seen anything like it before." She said as she tilted her head to stare at Ryan a bit longer. Brendon didn't know what she was talking about and didn't really know what to say.
"Okay. I'm going to go get something. Do you want to stay with him?" She asked as she looked at Brendon who shook his head no. It was rare for the other members to invite people into their rooms. Even if they knew the for years. It was considered an insult to enter anothers room unless family or an emergency. "Fair enough, follow me." Brendon followed her threw the passenger car and to a long corridor filled with doors. She opened one that lead to a room that was larger than the cart that Brendon and Ryan shared. It looked like a gypsies room. Not that Brendon was complaining, it was truly beautiful. Heavy maroon drapes decorated the room along with gold twine. She dug through a large chest pushed against a far wall, pulling out a long needle and a silver vial. She looked at Brendon who was biting his lip.
"What's that for?"
She gave a small sigh. "It's to save your boy." The two walked out of the room, Brendon carrying a case that had cotton and rubbing alcohol while Nubem carried the needle and vial. The two made their way into his room and to Ryan. Both sat on different sides of Ryan, who stayed unresponsive to all of it.
"Will you help me?" Brendon nodded, and took Ryan's arm from Nubem, who put some of the rubbing alcohol onto a piece of cotton rubbing it at the inside of Ryan's elbow. She put the needle into the vial pulling up to get the liquid in it. It was a transparent pink mixed with a sort of quick silver looking liquid. Brendon found it to be incredibly strange. She put the needle on the inside of Ryan's elbow, pushing down on the top.
About half of it was inside Ryan when he started struggling. He was still asleep, but he could still feel it. It was burning and running through his veins. Pulsing with his blood flow to spread over his body. It hurt like a mother. He started to shake, a slight sheen of sweat appearing on his skin. He didn't like it. It was running towards his heart, trying to fill the gap that seemed to be missing.
When all of the liquid was inside of Ryan, and the needle had been pulled out, the boy stopped moving. He held still, the only movement being the steady rise and fall of his chest.
"Watch him, I'm going to turn in for the night." Nubem said as she stood and then walked out. Brendon didn't want to be left alone with Ryan, terrified that something bad might happen to him. If something bad happened to his Ryan, that night, Brendon knew it would be his fault.
"Please wake up Ryan. I gave up everything for you." Ryan didn't stir.
Brendon curled up next to him, burying his face in the crook of Ryan's neck as he inhaled the sent of watermelons and sweat. It was perfect for Ryan. Brendon felt tears forming behind his eyes, wanting to escape and run down his cheek. He didn't allow it.
Ryan moved slightly, one of his arms finding it's way to Brendon's waist.
He would be fine. It was all Brendon could hope as he snuggled as close as humanly possible to Ryan.


~~~~~

I thought a lot about this story. I thought about the fact that it wasn't all that original and seemed to be lacking in descriptions. I thought about why I was writing it and not working on a different new project instead. I thought that it was poorly written and would end up being terrible.
And then I remembered that I'm writing it for you, and I always think all of those things when I first post a story. I have got to just get over the fact that it's kind of sloppy and suck it up because I know how much you all really wanted it.
Updates soon.

patdfan:I haven't decided on an ending yet actually. I think I'm just going to go for it, and we'll see how it turns out.

PartyPoison:We're all excited to see where this goes. Not sure what direction it'll be in, or if any one will die or not yet, so it should be interesting. (But I'm pretty sure I don't really want to kill off a character)

Katrina_Adams:I'm glad you like it so far. Not sure if it's actually that amazing, but hey, I'm a pessimist. (Actually, that's what my friends call it, I say it's just being a realist.)

marissasorrentino:I know I have to do this story, not for me, but for you guys. That's really the only reason why I'm continuing it.
It's Latin. Nocte means night, and maxime means special, so it's basically saying that it's a special night circus. Because it's something that you wouldn't forget if you saw it.

patdfan: And this update should make you happy. So keep smiling, so you can at least piss off every angry person around you. :)

PartyPoison: I did think about it. I spent a really long time debating whether or not to just completely delete the story and act like it never existed or put up the side note. And then I spent a little bit longer thinking about who I was writing the story for after I had it up.
But I remembered that this story isn't for me. I don't have to make sure it's completely unique because...well....it's impossible I guess.
And to add to that, I don't want to make any one sad. Well, okay, I do want to provoke emotion, but not because I'm stopping my writing as much as I'm updating sad chapters.

LePanicFan:Explode? You know what's the weird thing? One of my friends threatened that a few days ago when I didn't finish this tattoo design for her. :) But she didn't say she was going to haunt me, which is good since it doesn't particularly sound fun.
So yeah. No more talk of discontinuing.

-xoxo Pansy.