Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Shut Up, Mikey
Why the hell did I leave early for school, again? I wonder, making my way nervously down the side alley that is part of my route. I always walk this way with Gerard and Mikey, but now, alone, I can’t help but feel like there’s something big and bad waiting to jump out at me from any and every shadow. Like, a fucking axe murderer or some other scary shit like that. Not to mention, I have the feeling that there are spiders EVERYWHERE in the damn alley. I strongly dislike this feeling. I take a deep breath and let it out quickly. Don’t think about spiders. Just get through this fucking alleyway and get to school, Iero.
I speed up a little. So much for leaving early to have some alone time to think about... stuff. All I’ve managed to think about so far is “Oh god, dad’s going to kill me if he finds out about this” and things along the lines of “HOLY SHIT SOMETHING JUST MOVED BEHIND THAT DUMPSTER.”
So I’m walking along, freaking out because I’m pretty sure fucking Jason or someone’s about to jump out from behind the smelly dumpster beside me and chop off my head or something. Freaking out so much, in fact, that I don’t even notice the two lacrosse thugs blocking my path until the bigger one, Zach, says loudly, “Hey! Shrimp!”
I freeze.
Oh shit. No. Not again.
I start to back up slowly. They roll their eyes at my pathetic attempt to escape. Frantic, I turn and try to run, but the other guy, Matt, smaller than Zach but still bigger than me, grabs my bag, which rips at the seam, spilling its contents everywhere. I let out a small yelp and scramble for the small black book lying amongst my textbooks. I’m not fast enough. Matt grabs it and hands it to Zach, who opens it as I make panicked but ineffective efforts to stop him. The second he sees the first page, he bursts out laughing. I cringe slightly.
“A diary?!” he says loudly. “You keep a fucking diary?! What are you, a twelve year old girl?!” He flips through it. I lunge for it but Matt grabs me.
“”Last night my mom and I had a fight.” Boo-hoo, poor midget, he and his mommy had a fight!” He sneers. I want to rip him to shreds. I grit my teeth and tug against Matt’s grip. I might not be able to rip Zach apart, but I need to stop him from reading much more.
He flips forward a few pages, to the most recent entries, the ones from last month. “’Dad came for a visit yesterday and he and mom were already screaming at each other after fifteen minutes.”” He chuckles and goes to turn the page, and that’s when I lose it a bit. I don’t go apeshit on him or anything cool like that. Instead I do something that kind of makes me want to punch myself in the face- I start to beg.
“Stop it. Please, just give it back. I’ll do anything.”
Zach looks up and cocks an eyebrow. “Something in here you don’t want me to see, freak?”
I stay silent, but I guess my face is enough of a confirmation for him.
He turns the page. I cry out despite my best efforts not to.
As he reads, his face lights up with a sort of cruel delight. “Well, well, well...” he says slowly.
My life is fucking over.
He leans in a bit, grinning. “Gerard’s the fatass, right?”
“Don’t talk about Gerard like that.”
“Ooh, you don’t like me calling him a FATASS?!”
“Shut the fuck up.”
His grin falls off his face. “What?” he says dangerously.
“I told you to shut the fuck up.”
Now he’s glaring at me. “Say that one more time, faggot. I fucking dare you.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GERARD.” I’m really pissed off by now, and don’t even stop to think about why I maybe shouldn’t have said that.
He punches me in the face.
I stumble backwards a few steps, trip, and fall, hitting my head on one of the textbooks lying scattered around. Matt finds this hysterical. As he laughs, Zach rips the page he was just reading out of my notebook.
“I can think of some interesting uses for this,” he smirks, shoving it into his pocket. I whimper involuntarily. I have NEVER felt more pathetic, lying on the ground at a bully’s feet, fucking whimpering.
“Pussy,” Matt says, speaking for the first time since they confronted me. Before I can get out of the way, he kicks me. His foot connects with my gut, hard, and I’m instantly winded.
“See you at school, faggot,” Zach says. He turns and walks out of the alley. Matt sacks me as a parting present and follows him.
Everything hurts. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I’m dizzy and my head is throbbing. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I lie there blankly for maybe two minutes before I hear voices from the far end of the alleyway. Oh great, I think, they’re coming back for more.
“Will you get your nose out of that book?! I’m trying to talk to you. It’s important.”
Wait. That’s Mikey. And if that’s Mikey, then...
Shit. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not here. Not now. I cannot do this right now.
“Fine. Don’t listen to me. Motherfucker.” One set of footsteps quickens.
I look around frantically. From what I can tell, I’m half hidden to Mikey by this dumpster. I try to move over a bit so maybe he won’t see me, but I can’t. It hurts too much.
“Wait, what the hell?” Mikey mutters. The footsteps quicken even more. Shit. He’s seen me.
Within a few seconds he’s standing over me. “Frankie?” he says, alarm registering on his face. “What happened?”
“Zach happened.”
“Jesus Christ, what did he do?” Mikey crouches down next to me.
“Well, Matt winded me and then sacked me.”
“Shit.”
“And Zach punched me in the face personally.” I groan a little as I shift myself around so I can see Mikey properly.
“Wait. He did?” He asks, frowning. “Why?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling myself flush a bit. “I told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard.”
“You told Zach to shut up?!”
“Yup.”
“Are you fucking insane?!”
“Probably.”
I open my eyes to see Mikey staring at me with an agitated look on his face. And then he yells “Gerard!”
My stomach lurches.
“What the fuck, Mikey?!” I hiss.
“Look, Michael, I’m NOT discussing this with you, okay?!” Gerard shouts back. “So can you please just stop bringing it up?”
“Get your ass over here.”
“Why, so you can interrogate me?”
“No, you fucker. So that you can help out Frankie, who’s just had the shit beaten out of him by Zach and Co.”
“What?” Gerard says. His footsteps get gradually faster until it sounds like he’s running, which he probably is.
“It’s gonna be ok,” Mikey says to me.
“No it’s not,” I mumble. There’s a lump developing in my throat. Wonderful. Just fucking fantastic.
Gerard drops down beside Mikey.”Hey,” he says. His voice is gentle. Oh jeez. “What happened?”
I can’t even talk. If I open my mouth, then...
“Can you sit up?”
I try and fail.
“Here,” he says, helping me into a sitting position.
And that’s when I start to cry.
“S-sorry, I just-” I choke out.
“I’ll get your stuff together,” Mikey says, getting up.
I’m half pissed off at him and half relieved.
“Hey,” Gerard says quietly. “Do you need a hug?”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, please no. Don’t-
I nod miserably. I can’t help it.
So he hugs me, and I sit there, crying into his shoulder, feeling even more pathetic than I already did, but at the same time I can’t help thinking, Maybe getting beat up was worth it. For this.
And then I remember. Zach knows. Which means that soon, everyone will. Including Gerard.
“Guys...” says Mikey. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t get going.”
Gerard lets go of me and I reluctantly take my head off his shoulder. I’ve stopped crying by now, but I don’t particularly want to move.
“Mikey’s right. We should get going,” he says, standing. “Can you get up?”
I look up wildly. “Don’t make me go to school,” I say, sounding highly panicky.
He makes a sympathetic face at me. “If you don’t go to school, the principal will call your mom.”
He has a point. Shit.
“Don’t worry. Ray and I’ll keep those guys away from you, okay?”
“Um... how exactly?” asks Mikey.
“Shut up, Michael. We’ll figure something out. Frankie? Can you stand up?”
“Maybe,” I say, grimacing. I grope for the lip of the dumpster. Gerard rolls his eyes and offers his hands. I stare at them stupidly for a second before taking them. He hauls me to my feet.
“Ow.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault,” I say.
Wow, we’re standing really close together and, um, if I breathe right now, I’m kind of going to be breathing RIGHT on him... uh... well then...uh... Jesus, he has nice eyes. They’re pretty. They’re hazel-y. I didn’t know his eyes were hazel-y and nice. Really nice. Um. Wow. I should move, really, I should, Gerard’s not... Gerard doesn’t... but HE’S not moving. So why should I? Okay, so, that was a stupid thought, it’s because... anyway, after today I’m probably never going to get within three feet of him again, so I should enjoy this while I can, right? Right? Wait, what the fuck is Mikey doing? Is he imitating a kangaroo? A jacked-up kangaroo. Ha. That would be funny. But seriously. Wait. Is he looking at me? Is he jumping around like a fucking jacked-up kangaroo trying to get my attention or has he just lost it? Oh wait, no, he’s mouthing my name. And gesturing. What the fuck? Hands? What about h- OH SHIT.
I jump backwards, letting go of Gerard’s hands, which I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on to that whole time. He’s got a really weird look on his face, and he seems bemused.
“Sorry,” I say frantically. My face is burning. “Sorry, I’m really sorry. I didn’t- I- I’m sorry.”
“Did you hit your head?” he asks lightly.
“Y-yeah, actually.”
“I can tell. You’re all dazed and confused.”
I nod numbly. Yeah, I’m dazed and confused all right. It’s just not because I hit my head.
“Sorry,” I say again, weakly.
“It’s okay, don’t sweat it,” he says, chuckling.
There’s an awkward silence before Mikey steps forward.
“Guys, we really need to go,” he says. “Frank, can you walk?”
“What?” Gerard frowns. “Why wouldn’t he be able to walk?’
“They sacked him.”
He winces. “Oh.”
“I think I can. I’ll look ridiculous, but...” I laugh ruefully.
Gerard grins, claps me on the back and walks toward the end of the alleyway. Mikey turns to me and raises his eyebrows. I cringe and go red again.
I take a few steps and think I’m going to fall over. The idea of walking fifteen minutes to school is horrifying.
“We could get Gerard to carry you,” Mikey says.
“Fuck you.”
We walk in silence for a couple of blocks before we see a very familiar head of hair ahead of us. There is no mistaking Ray, even from this distance. Gerard grins and runs to catch up to him. I can’t help but sigh with relief.
“You told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard?” Mikey asks suddenly.
I look up, surprised. “Yeah. I told you that already.”
“Well, what did they say about him?”
“They called him a fatass.”
“And you told them to shut the fuck up.”
“Yup.”
“And they punched you in the face.”
“Yup.”
Mikey sighs. “You overprotective idiot.”
“Shut up.”
“But how did Gerard get brought into it anyway?”
“Oh,” I say uncomfortably. “Um.”
“They read your notebook, didn’t they?”
Fuck. Mikey has goddamn mind powers or some shit. HE’S READING MY FUCKING MIND. Or something. He just looked at me and knew what’s going on. HE’S LOOKING INTO MY SOUL. That’s fucking creepy.
“Um,” I say, very intelligently.
“Calm down, I found it on the ground when I was picking up your stuff.”
“Oh.” HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN.
“So they know?”
“Mm.”
“Which means the entire school will know by the end of the week.”
I glare at him. “Thanks for that, Michael.”
He rolls his eyes. “What’s with everyone calling me Michael today? It’s not like it bugs me or anything.”
“Whatever,” I say. I shove my hands into my jacket pockets and walk as fast as I can.
I speed up a little. So much for leaving early to have some alone time to think about... stuff. All I’ve managed to think about so far is “Oh god, dad’s going to kill me if he finds out about this” and things along the lines of “HOLY SHIT SOMETHING JUST MOVED BEHIND THAT DUMPSTER.”
So I’m walking along, freaking out because I’m pretty sure fucking Jason or someone’s about to jump out from behind the smelly dumpster beside me and chop off my head or something. Freaking out so much, in fact, that I don’t even notice the two lacrosse thugs blocking my path until the bigger one, Zach, says loudly, “Hey! Shrimp!”
I freeze.
Oh shit. No. Not again.
I start to back up slowly. They roll their eyes at my pathetic attempt to escape. Frantic, I turn and try to run, but the other guy, Matt, smaller than Zach but still bigger than me, grabs my bag, which rips at the seam, spilling its contents everywhere. I let out a small yelp and scramble for the small black book lying amongst my textbooks. I’m not fast enough. Matt grabs it and hands it to Zach, who opens it as I make panicked but ineffective efforts to stop him. The second he sees the first page, he bursts out laughing. I cringe slightly.
“A diary?!” he says loudly. “You keep a fucking diary?! What are you, a twelve year old girl?!” He flips through it. I lunge for it but Matt grabs me.
“”Last night my mom and I had a fight.” Boo-hoo, poor midget, he and his mommy had a fight!” He sneers. I want to rip him to shreds. I grit my teeth and tug against Matt’s grip. I might not be able to rip Zach apart, but I need to stop him from reading much more.
He flips forward a few pages, to the most recent entries, the ones from last month. “’Dad came for a visit yesterday and he and mom were already screaming at each other after fifteen minutes.”” He chuckles and goes to turn the page, and that’s when I lose it a bit. I don’t go apeshit on him or anything cool like that. Instead I do something that kind of makes me want to punch myself in the face- I start to beg.
“Stop it. Please, just give it back. I’ll do anything.”
Zach looks up and cocks an eyebrow. “Something in here you don’t want me to see, freak?”
I stay silent, but I guess my face is enough of a confirmation for him.
He turns the page. I cry out despite my best efforts not to.
As he reads, his face lights up with a sort of cruel delight. “Well, well, well...” he says slowly.
My life is fucking over.
He leans in a bit, grinning. “Gerard’s the fatass, right?”
“Don’t talk about Gerard like that.”
“Ooh, you don’t like me calling him a FATASS?!”
“Shut the fuck up.”
His grin falls off his face. “What?” he says dangerously.
“I told you to shut the fuck up.”
Now he’s glaring at me. “Say that one more time, faggot. I fucking dare you.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GERARD.” I’m really pissed off by now, and don’t even stop to think about why I maybe shouldn’t have said that.
He punches me in the face.
I stumble backwards a few steps, trip, and fall, hitting my head on one of the textbooks lying scattered around. Matt finds this hysterical. As he laughs, Zach rips the page he was just reading out of my notebook.
“I can think of some interesting uses for this,” he smirks, shoving it into his pocket. I whimper involuntarily. I have NEVER felt more pathetic, lying on the ground at a bully’s feet, fucking whimpering.
“Pussy,” Matt says, speaking for the first time since they confronted me. Before I can get out of the way, he kicks me. His foot connects with my gut, hard, and I’m instantly winded.
“See you at school, faggot,” Zach says. He turns and walks out of the alley. Matt sacks me as a parting present and follows him.
Everything hurts. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I’m dizzy and my head is throbbing. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I lie there blankly for maybe two minutes before I hear voices from the far end of the alleyway. Oh great, I think, they’re coming back for more.
“Will you get your nose out of that book?! I’m trying to talk to you. It’s important.”
Wait. That’s Mikey. And if that’s Mikey, then...
Shit. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not here. Not now. I cannot do this right now.
“Fine. Don’t listen to me. Motherfucker.” One set of footsteps quickens.
I look around frantically. From what I can tell, I’m half hidden to Mikey by this dumpster. I try to move over a bit so maybe he won’t see me, but I can’t. It hurts too much.
“Wait, what the hell?” Mikey mutters. The footsteps quicken even more. Shit. He’s seen me.
Within a few seconds he’s standing over me. “Frankie?” he says, alarm registering on his face. “What happened?”
“Zach happened.”
“Jesus Christ, what did he do?” Mikey crouches down next to me.
“Well, Matt winded me and then sacked me.”
“Shit.”
“And Zach punched me in the face personally.” I groan a little as I shift myself around so I can see Mikey properly.
“Wait. He did?” He asks, frowning. “Why?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling myself flush a bit. “I told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard.”
“You told Zach to shut up?!”
“Yup.”
“Are you fucking insane?!”
“Probably.”
I open my eyes to see Mikey staring at me with an agitated look on his face. And then he yells “Gerard!”
My stomach lurches.
“What the fuck, Mikey?!” I hiss.
“Look, Michael, I’m NOT discussing this with you, okay?!” Gerard shouts back. “So can you please just stop bringing it up?”
“Get your ass over here.”
“Why, so you can interrogate me?”
“No, you fucker. So that you can help out Frankie, who’s just had the shit beaten out of him by Zach and Co.”
“What?” Gerard says. His footsteps get gradually faster until it sounds like he’s running, which he probably is.
“It’s gonna be ok,” Mikey says to me.
“No it’s not,” I mumble. There’s a lump developing in my throat. Wonderful. Just fucking fantastic.
Gerard drops down beside Mikey.”Hey,” he says. His voice is gentle. Oh jeez. “What happened?”
I can’t even talk. If I open my mouth, then...
“Can you sit up?”
I try and fail.
“Here,” he says, helping me into a sitting position.
And that’s when I start to cry.
“S-sorry, I just-” I choke out.
“I’ll get your stuff together,” Mikey says, getting up.
I’m half pissed off at him and half relieved.
“Hey,” Gerard says quietly. “Do you need a hug?”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, please no. Don’t-
I nod miserably. I can’t help it.
So he hugs me, and I sit there, crying into his shoulder, feeling even more pathetic than I already did, but at the same time I can’t help thinking, Maybe getting beat up was worth it. For this.
And then I remember. Zach knows. Which means that soon, everyone will. Including Gerard.
“Guys...” says Mikey. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t get going.”
Gerard lets go of me and I reluctantly take my head off his shoulder. I’ve stopped crying by now, but I don’t particularly want to move.
“Mikey’s right. We should get going,” he says, standing. “Can you get up?”
I look up wildly. “Don’t make me go to school,” I say, sounding highly panicky.
He makes a sympathetic face at me. “If you don’t go to school, the principal will call your mom.”
He has a point. Shit.
“Don’t worry. Ray and I’ll keep those guys away from you, okay?”
“Um... how exactly?” asks Mikey.
“Shut up, Michael. We’ll figure something out. Frankie? Can you stand up?”
“Maybe,” I say, grimacing. I grope for the lip of the dumpster. Gerard rolls his eyes and offers his hands. I stare at them stupidly for a second before taking them. He hauls me to my feet.
“Ow.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault,” I say.
Wow, we’re standing really close together and, um, if I breathe right now, I’m kind of going to be breathing RIGHT on him... uh... well then...uh... Jesus, he has nice eyes. They’re pretty. They’re hazel-y. I didn’t know his eyes were hazel-y and nice. Really nice. Um. Wow. I should move, really, I should, Gerard’s not... Gerard doesn’t... but HE’S not moving. So why should I? Okay, so, that was a stupid thought, it’s because... anyway, after today I’m probably never going to get within three feet of him again, so I should enjoy this while I can, right? Right? Wait, what the fuck is Mikey doing? Is he imitating a kangaroo? A jacked-up kangaroo. Ha. That would be funny. But seriously. Wait. Is he looking at me? Is he jumping around like a fucking jacked-up kangaroo trying to get my attention or has he just lost it? Oh wait, no, he’s mouthing my name. And gesturing. What the fuck? Hands? What about h- OH SHIT.
I jump backwards, letting go of Gerard’s hands, which I hadn’t realized I’d been holding on to that whole time. He’s got a really weird look on his face, and he seems bemused.
“Sorry,” I say frantically. My face is burning. “Sorry, I’m really sorry. I didn’t- I- I’m sorry.”
“Did you hit your head?” he asks lightly.
“Y-yeah, actually.”
“I can tell. You’re all dazed and confused.”
I nod numbly. Yeah, I’m dazed and confused all right. It’s just not because I hit my head.
“Sorry,” I say again, weakly.
“It’s okay, don’t sweat it,” he says, chuckling.
There’s an awkward silence before Mikey steps forward.
“Guys, we really need to go,” he says. “Frank, can you walk?”
“What?” Gerard frowns. “Why wouldn’t he be able to walk?’
“They sacked him.”
He winces. “Oh.”
“I think I can. I’ll look ridiculous, but...” I laugh ruefully.
Gerard grins, claps me on the back and walks toward the end of the alleyway. Mikey turns to me and raises his eyebrows. I cringe and go red again.
I take a few steps and think I’m going to fall over. The idea of walking fifteen minutes to school is horrifying.
“We could get Gerard to carry you,” Mikey says.
“Fuck you.”
We walk in silence for a couple of blocks before we see a very familiar head of hair ahead of us. There is no mistaking Ray, even from this distance. Gerard grins and runs to catch up to him. I can’t help but sigh with relief.
“You told him to shut the fuck up about Gerard?” Mikey asks suddenly.
I look up, surprised. “Yeah. I told you that already.”
“Well, what did they say about him?”
“They called him a fatass.”
“And you told them to shut the fuck up.”
“Yup.”
“And they punched you in the face.”
“Yup.”
Mikey sighs. “You overprotective idiot.”
“Shut up.”
“But how did Gerard get brought into it anyway?”
“Oh,” I say uncomfortably. “Um.”
“They read your notebook, didn’t they?”
Fuck. Mikey has goddamn mind powers or some shit. HE’S READING MY FUCKING MIND. Or something. He just looked at me and knew what’s going on. HE’S LOOKING INTO MY SOUL. That’s fucking creepy.
“Um,” I say, very intelligently.
“Calm down, I found it on the ground when I was picking up your stuff.”
“Oh.” HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN.
“So they know?”
“Mm.”
“Which means the entire school will know by the end of the week.”
I glare at him. “Thanks for that, Michael.”
He rolls his eyes. “What’s with everyone calling me Michael today? It’s not like it bugs me or anything.”
“Whatever,” I say. I shove my hands into my jacket pockets and walk as fast as I can.
Sign up to rate and review this story