Categories > Books > Cirque du Freak > Mulan: Vampire Style
(Mr. Tiny's hawk swoops down and grabs the sword. It flaps up to the roof, where a line of stone gargoyles are resting. One of the gargoyles moves and takes the sword. Vampenze remove the Kabuki masks. One of them grabs Paris and takes him into the palace.)
Vanez:
No!
Vancha:
C'mon!
[They run up to the palace, but the Vampenze close the great doors. On the roof, Mr. Tiny laughs.
The Vampire Army uses a statue to try to break into the palace.]
Mickey:
They'll never reach Paris in time.
[She looks around, then at the tall pillars by the side of the palace. She whistles to them.]
Hey guys! I've got an idea!
[The Gang of Three looks at each other and then follows Mickey, dropping the statue. They all take off their equipment, and put on kimonos and makeup, and they use the silk belts around their waists to climb up the pillars. Next to them, Vanez takes off his cape and climbs up. Inside the palace, on a balcony, the Vampenze hold Paris. Mr. Tiny sticks his head in their faces.]
Mr. Tiny:
[to the Emperor]
Boo.
[to his soldiers]
Guard the door!
[to Paris]
Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it's your turn. Bow to me.
(Outside, Mickey and the Gang of Three prepare to get past the guards.)
Mickey:
Okay. Any questions?
Vancha:
Does this dress make me look fat?
[he is slapped]
Ow!
(The four "girls" walk near the guards, giggling.)
Guard:
Who's there?
Guard #2:
women.
Guard:
Ugly women.
(An apple rolls out of Darren's dress. One of the guards picks it up. The hawk notices Vanez hiding, and tries to call out, but Ric breaths fire and torches him.)
Ric:
Now that's what I call Mongolian barbeque.
(The guard hands the apple to Darren, but the Gang of Three
all pull fruit out of their dresses and attack the guards.)
Mickey:
Vanez! Go!
[Vanez runs up the stairs and into the room where Mr. Tiny and Paris are.]
Mr. Tiny:
I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!
Paris:
No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.
Mr. Tiny:
[raising his sword]
Then you will kneel ... in pieces!
[He swings the sword; Vanez rushes in and blocks it. He is
swung around a pillar, and then kicks Mr. Tiny in the face.]
Mickey:
Kurda, get the Emperor!
Kurda:
Sorry, your Majesty.
[He picks up Paris, and, using his silk belt,
slides down the cord paper lanterns are strung on.]
Mr. Tiny:
No!
[He picks up Vanez and smashes his head against Vanez's. Mickey
winces, then looks down at the ground, where Vancha and Darren are waiting.]
Vanca:
Come on!
(Mickey looks back at the unconscious Vanez, and at Mr. Tiny who is approaching him. She pulls Mr. Tiny's sword out of the pillar and cuts the cord. People below cheer.)
Mr. Tiny:
No!
[He turns to Vanez, who is now conscious.]
You! You took away my victory!
[He is hit by a shoe.]
Mickey:
No! I did.
[She pulls back her hair.]
Mr. Tiny:
The soldier from the mountain!
[Abandoning Vanez, he chases after Mickey, who is putting on her shoe. She slams the door shut, and he rams his fist through the wood. Mickey is joined by Ric and Cri-kee, riding the feather-less hawk.]
Ric:
So what's the plan?
Mickey:
Ummmmm ...
Ric:
YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN?
Mickey:
Hey, I'm making this up as I ... go ...
[as they pass a window she notices a pile of fireworks and two men.]
Ricit--
Ric:
Way ahead of you, sister! C'mon, Cri-kee!
[They jump onto a paper kite decoration and float across to the tower. Mr. Tiny attacks Mickey, and she shinnies up a pole. Mr. Tiny cuts down the pole, and Mickey and the pole go through the wall. Mickey jumps up and grabs onto the roof and pulls herself up. She looks across to where Ric and Cri-kee are gathering ammunition.]
Ric:
Citizens. I need firepower!
Citizen:
Who are you?
Ric:
[looking fierce]
Your worst nightmare.
[The two men jump off the tower.]
Larten:
Look! On the roof!
(Mickey backs along the roof, mesuring the distance with her hands. Mr. Tiny crashes through the roof and raises his sword. Mickey pulls out a paper fan.)
Mr. Tiny:
Guess you're out of ideas.
[He stabs the sword through the fan; Mickey turns it around and readies the sword.]
Mickey:
Not quite. Ready, Ricitoshi?
Ric:
[with a rocket strapped to his back]
I am ready, baby!
[He breaths fire on a stick and hands it to Cri-kee.]
Light me!
(Mickey kicks Mr. Tinny in the face, then trips him and pins his shirt to the ground with the sword. Cri-kee lights the fuse, and the rocket slams Mr. Tiny straight into the firework tower.)
Mickey:
[picking up Ric]
Get off the roof, get off the roof!
[As the fireworks explode, she jumps, catches a lantern and swings down the cord, then drops onto Vanez, who is running down the stairs. Mr. Tiny's sword and Ric land nearby.]
Ric:
Ahahahahahaha!
[He catches Cri-kee]
You are a lucky bug!
Vanez:
No!
Vancha:
C'mon!
[They run up to the palace, but the Vampenze close the great doors. On the roof, Mr. Tiny laughs.
The Vampire Army uses a statue to try to break into the palace.]
Mickey:
They'll never reach Paris in time.
[She looks around, then at the tall pillars by the side of the palace. She whistles to them.]
Hey guys! I've got an idea!
[The Gang of Three looks at each other and then follows Mickey, dropping the statue. They all take off their equipment, and put on kimonos and makeup, and they use the silk belts around their waists to climb up the pillars. Next to them, Vanez takes off his cape and climbs up. Inside the palace, on a balcony, the Vampenze hold Paris. Mr. Tiny sticks his head in their faces.]
Mr. Tiny:
[to the Emperor]
Boo.
[to his soldiers]
Guard the door!
[to Paris]
Your walls and armies have fallen. And now it's your turn. Bow to me.
(Outside, Mickey and the Gang of Three prepare to get past the guards.)
Mickey:
Okay. Any questions?
Vancha:
Does this dress make me look fat?
[he is slapped]
Ow!
(The four "girls" walk near the guards, giggling.)
Guard:
Who's there?
Guard #2:
women.
Guard:
Ugly women.
(An apple rolls out of Darren's dress. One of the guards picks it up. The hawk notices Vanez hiding, and tries to call out, but Ric breaths fire and torches him.)
Ric:
Now that's what I call Mongolian barbeque.
(The guard hands the apple to Darren, but the Gang of Three
all pull fruit out of their dresses and attack the guards.)
Mickey:
Vanez! Go!
[Vanez runs up the stairs and into the room where Mr. Tiny and Paris are.]
Mr. Tiny:
I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!
Paris:
No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.
Mr. Tiny:
[raising his sword]
Then you will kneel ... in pieces!
[He swings the sword; Vanez rushes in and blocks it. He is
swung around a pillar, and then kicks Mr. Tiny in the face.]
Mickey:
Kurda, get the Emperor!
Kurda:
Sorry, your Majesty.
[He picks up Paris, and, using his silk belt,
slides down the cord paper lanterns are strung on.]
Mr. Tiny:
No!
[He picks up Vanez and smashes his head against Vanez's. Mickey
winces, then looks down at the ground, where Vancha and Darren are waiting.]
Vanca:
Come on!
(Mickey looks back at the unconscious Vanez, and at Mr. Tiny who is approaching him. She pulls Mr. Tiny's sword out of the pillar and cuts the cord. People below cheer.)
Mr. Tiny:
No!
[He turns to Vanez, who is now conscious.]
You! You took away my victory!
[He is hit by a shoe.]
Mickey:
No! I did.
[She pulls back her hair.]
Mr. Tiny:
The soldier from the mountain!
[Abandoning Vanez, he chases after Mickey, who is putting on her shoe. She slams the door shut, and he rams his fist through the wood. Mickey is joined by Ric and Cri-kee, riding the feather-less hawk.]
Ric:
So what's the plan?
Mickey:
Ummmmm ...
Ric:
YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN?
Mickey:
Hey, I'm making this up as I ... go ...
[as they pass a window she notices a pile of fireworks and two men.]
Ricit--
Ric:
Way ahead of you, sister! C'mon, Cri-kee!
[They jump onto a paper kite decoration and float across to the tower. Mr. Tiny attacks Mickey, and she shinnies up a pole. Mr. Tiny cuts down the pole, and Mickey and the pole go through the wall. Mickey jumps up and grabs onto the roof and pulls herself up. She looks across to where Ric and Cri-kee are gathering ammunition.]
Ric:
Citizens. I need firepower!
Citizen:
Who are you?
Ric:
[looking fierce]
Your worst nightmare.
[The two men jump off the tower.]
Larten:
Look! On the roof!
(Mickey backs along the roof, mesuring the distance with her hands. Mr. Tiny crashes through the roof and raises his sword. Mickey pulls out a paper fan.)
Mr. Tiny:
Guess you're out of ideas.
[He stabs the sword through the fan; Mickey turns it around and readies the sword.]
Mickey:
Not quite. Ready, Ricitoshi?
Ric:
[with a rocket strapped to his back]
I am ready, baby!
[He breaths fire on a stick and hands it to Cri-kee.]
Light me!
(Mickey kicks Mr. Tinny in the face, then trips him and pins his shirt to the ground with the sword. Cri-kee lights the fuse, and the rocket slams Mr. Tiny straight into the firework tower.)
Mickey:
[picking up Ric]
Get off the roof, get off the roof!
[As the fireworks explode, she jumps, catches a lantern and swings down the cord, then drops onto Vanez, who is running down the stairs. Mr. Tiny's sword and Ric land nearby.]
Ric:
Ahahahahahaha!
[He catches Cri-kee]
You are a lucky bug!
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