Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Where Is My Mind?
Chapter Ten
5 MONTHS LATER
It had been five months and I hadn't seen Gerard since that day I told him to forget. I was still getting over him. It was hard. I had been on a few dates with a few strangers but it always ended the same: I made some excuse not to get into a long term relationship.
I went to New Jersey every now and then to visit, my mom's grave, Frank, Frank's mom and Mikey. Visiting the boys on a regular basis was hard because they had music commitments. Green Day phone nearly every day, just to talk to me. They also try and get me back as their P.A. Sometimes I almost say yes. I was dying to see them and hopefully I would get to see them when I paid a visit to my dad in California.
So it was Saturday night, I was sitting on my lumpy couch, painting my nails, with hair dye in my hair and a towel around my shoulders to stop any hair dye getting on my shirt. It was an old shirt and I wouldn't mind if it got stained. I was glad that it was a button down shirt, that would make it easier to get off when I went into the shower to wash all the hair dye out.
There was a light knock on my apartment door. Great. My nails are still wet. I struggled to get up and when I did, turning the door knob was a lot harder that I thought it would be. When I opened the door, I was incredibly shocked. It was Gerard. His long dark hair had been cut and oddly, it suited him, made him look younger.
"Hi." I said. "What are you doing here?" What else am I gonna ask? And I actually wanted to know what he was doing here.
"I can't forget." He said simply. "I can't just forget about you. I love you." I was about to tell him to go away and try but then he spoke again. "Can I come in?" I nodded. I moved aside and he came in. I shut the door and put on the chain lock.
"Can I get you a drink?" I asked him.
"No thank you." He said. "This is a nice place."
"Its not cheap." I replied. I need a drink. A large, strong whiskey perhaps. "Did you come to tell me something more?"
"I did." Gerard replied. "I need you to know something."
"Ok."
"Ever since we were kids, I'm always been in love with you. I never did anything because I was the adult, I could have gotten into tons of trouble. When we were together on the tour, it was best thing that ever happened to me. It meant more to me than anything this stupid world. I know you felt the same way too. Don't try and tell me that you've just forgotten everything. Every touch. Every kiss. Every time we made love..."
I let out a big puff of air slowly. I looked at the clock. It was about time for my hair dye to come out. I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to get it all out without any help. Maybe it was a good thing Gerard had decided to stop by.
"Can you help me with something?" I asked him.
"Um...sure." He said unsurely.
"See, I'm not very good at washing all the hair dye out of my hair...Would you be able to help me out?"
"Ok...sure..."
I showed Gerard the bathroom and turned on the shower. I put my head over the bath and listened to Gerard, taking down the shower head from its holder. The hot water started running through my hair and so did Gerard's fingers.
"What colour is this supposed to be anyway?" He asked.
"Red." I replied. "The hair dye actually looked like blood with I was putting it in."
"Cool." Gerard said. I couldn't see his face but he sounded excited.
About 20 minutes later and the dye was completely out of my hair. Gerard grabbed a towel and started drying my hair with it. It felt nice being close to him again. It was familiar and secure. I felt content with him.
We went into the living room and sat on my couch. Gerard spotted my hair brush on the table and pulled me so I was sitting between his legs. He started brushing through the wet tangles and soon my hair was poker straight. I closed my eyes and rested on Gerard. His arms wrapped around my waist and he started kissing my neck and my shoulder. The only thing lighting up the room was the light from the T.V. I shivered against Gerard.
"You cold?" He asked in a whisper.
"Oh...I don't think I'm going to be cold for a long time." I replied. My head was lying on his shoulder. I looked up at him. I lifted my hand to his face and I pulled him down to kiss me.
I turned my body, my arms wrapped around his neck and I started grinding against the bulge in his pants. He groaned and his arms moved around my back, stopping at my ass. But then Gerard stopped kissing me.
"What are we doing?" He asked.
"Isn't obvious?" I asked with a chuckle but then I got serious. "Look, Gerard. I love you. I have since I was 17. You were the one person I was never able to forget about. I tried and I tried. I moved to the other side of the country."
"Thats the other thing I don't get, why did you move to forget about me?"
"I was scared. I had never felt that way before. I was also scared that you would just laugh at me and think I was a stupid little girl with a crush." I replied with a shrug.
"I never thought that you were stupid little girl. I thought you were beautiful." He kissed my cheek. "I..." He sighed. "I thought you were perfect. And I was scared too."
"Are you scared now?" I asked him.
"Terrified." He whispered.
"Me too." I replied softly. I brought my hand up and felt his hair. "You cut it." He nodded.
"Don't change the subject." He warned.
"Sorry." I replied. "Y'know these past five months have been horrible for me."
"Mikey said you were having the time of your life." Gerard replied. I sat up and got off of Gerard. He sat up too.
"I told him that I was fine. But I lied. I have been trying to forget you but its harder now that we've been together. Its been hard." He nodded.
"Then lets not forget. Lets just be together and-"
"Its not that simple, Gerard. You had a girlfriend and you never told me. I could have waited for you." I stood up and turned off the T.V. The room was in total darkness now. I found the lamp and switched it on. "I don't think you understand how much that hurt me, Gerard!"
"I was so,so stupid." Gerard said. "I know, I should have told you but I couldn't find the courage, I thought you would just break it off with me and I need to have you in my life, Roxy. I love you. I'm just a pathetic wimp and you're right I don't understand how much I hurt you. But I'm willing to spend the rest of my life, making it up to you."
"Okay." I whispered
Silence.
"Okay?" Gerard asked. "We're giving it a shot?" I nodded
"But you have to promise me something first." I said. He nodded. "Don't ever hurt me again. Don't ever leave me. Don't ever lie to me. Just promise to love me everyday and I will make you the same promise." And then I had another thought. "You have to buy me something pretty to go in my new hair." Gerard chuckled.
"Deal." Gerard stood up and came over to me. He kissed me with so much impact, I nearly fell over. My hands cupped his cheeks and his arms encircled my waist. We were together at last.
When we broke apart I couldn't help but smile. He smiled back at me.
"And you're not a pathetic wimp. You're fucking perfect to me." I whispered.
"Not as perfect as you." Gerard whispered back. We leaned together and our foreheads touched. I had planned on telling him he was more perfect but he would just say the same thing back and we would be there all night. I let him whisper perfect, over and over again as we entered the bedroom. We made love in a way that we never had before and I felt complete. The large hole in my chest had finally closed up. While Gerard held me I thought about our future together. And then another thought came into my head.
"What are we going to tell Frank and Mikey?" I asked Gerard.
"The truth of course." Gerard replied. "Oh, but they hate me for what I did...yeah...that's all you!" Gerard got up and I checked out his nude body.
"Wimp." I whispered.
"Yeah but I'm your wimp." He replied. I smiled And it was true. He was mine.
**
A FEW WEEKS LATER
"You..." Frank pointed at me. "...and you..." He pointed at Gerard. We both nodded.
"Its ok Frank. Everything is ok now. Gerard and I love each other and we're going to make a proper go at a relationship." Mikey who had been silent through the whole unveiling, finally spoke.
"Are you guys happy?" He asked. We both nodded. "Then thats all that matters." Mikey smiled. "I'm happy for you. Frank?"
"I guess I'm happy for you guys too. I just didn't see it coming." Frank replied. I shrugged. Gerard snaked an arm around my waist and rested his hand on my hip. Frank smiled, a genuine smile. "Are you guys gonna get married? Ooh! Can I be the best man!?"
"We're not going to get married yet." Gerard replied. He looked at me and smiled. "But we made a few vows. Ones that won't be broken." I smiled up at him and he kissed me.
"AW!" Frank said. "I didn't need to see that!" He averted his eyes but we just ignored him.
"So are you guys gonna like live together?" Mikey asked.
"Not yet. I'm going to go back and work for Green Day for now, you guys are going to record your next album and Gerard and I will just see each other when we can. And then hopefully after that, I can work for you guys. So we can be together all the time."
"Thats cool." Mikey replied. Gerard nodded. "Right, come on Frank. Lets leave these guys alone for a while." I mouthed a thank you to him and he nodded with a smirk. Gerard pulled me to his body and we kissed some more.
"I love you Gerard Way." I whispered.
"I love you Roxy Roller." Gerard whispered back. He kissed my nose and a single tear slipped down my cheek. "Whats wrong?"
"I'm just happy." I replied. Gerard caught the tear on his finger. "So happy."
"Me too." He whispered.
We were finally together and we had a whole future ahead of us. I couldn't wait.
THE END.
**
Hey! Thank you all for reading, review and considering this story! I hope you've enjoyed it and keep a watch out for a new story that I'm going to post very soon!! Thanks!! XO
5 MONTHS LATER
It had been five months and I hadn't seen Gerard since that day I told him to forget. I was still getting over him. It was hard. I had been on a few dates with a few strangers but it always ended the same: I made some excuse not to get into a long term relationship.
I went to New Jersey every now and then to visit, my mom's grave, Frank, Frank's mom and Mikey. Visiting the boys on a regular basis was hard because they had music commitments. Green Day phone nearly every day, just to talk to me. They also try and get me back as their P.A. Sometimes I almost say yes. I was dying to see them and hopefully I would get to see them when I paid a visit to my dad in California.
So it was Saturday night, I was sitting on my lumpy couch, painting my nails, with hair dye in my hair and a towel around my shoulders to stop any hair dye getting on my shirt. It was an old shirt and I wouldn't mind if it got stained. I was glad that it was a button down shirt, that would make it easier to get off when I went into the shower to wash all the hair dye out.
There was a light knock on my apartment door. Great. My nails are still wet. I struggled to get up and when I did, turning the door knob was a lot harder that I thought it would be. When I opened the door, I was incredibly shocked. It was Gerard. His long dark hair had been cut and oddly, it suited him, made him look younger.
"Hi." I said. "What are you doing here?" What else am I gonna ask? And I actually wanted to know what he was doing here.
"I can't forget." He said simply. "I can't just forget about you. I love you." I was about to tell him to go away and try but then he spoke again. "Can I come in?" I nodded. I moved aside and he came in. I shut the door and put on the chain lock.
"Can I get you a drink?" I asked him.
"No thank you." He said. "This is a nice place."
"Its not cheap." I replied. I need a drink. A large, strong whiskey perhaps. "Did you come to tell me something more?"
"I did." Gerard replied. "I need you to know something."
"Ok."
"Ever since we were kids, I'm always been in love with you. I never did anything because I was the adult, I could have gotten into tons of trouble. When we were together on the tour, it was best thing that ever happened to me. It meant more to me than anything this stupid world. I know you felt the same way too. Don't try and tell me that you've just forgotten everything. Every touch. Every kiss. Every time we made love..."
I let out a big puff of air slowly. I looked at the clock. It was about time for my hair dye to come out. I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to get it all out without any help. Maybe it was a good thing Gerard had decided to stop by.
"Can you help me with something?" I asked him.
"Um...sure." He said unsurely.
"See, I'm not very good at washing all the hair dye out of my hair...Would you be able to help me out?"
"Ok...sure..."
I showed Gerard the bathroom and turned on the shower. I put my head over the bath and listened to Gerard, taking down the shower head from its holder. The hot water started running through my hair and so did Gerard's fingers.
"What colour is this supposed to be anyway?" He asked.
"Red." I replied. "The hair dye actually looked like blood with I was putting it in."
"Cool." Gerard said. I couldn't see his face but he sounded excited.
About 20 minutes later and the dye was completely out of my hair. Gerard grabbed a towel and started drying my hair with it. It felt nice being close to him again. It was familiar and secure. I felt content with him.
We went into the living room and sat on my couch. Gerard spotted my hair brush on the table and pulled me so I was sitting between his legs. He started brushing through the wet tangles and soon my hair was poker straight. I closed my eyes and rested on Gerard. His arms wrapped around my waist and he started kissing my neck and my shoulder. The only thing lighting up the room was the light from the T.V. I shivered against Gerard.
"You cold?" He asked in a whisper.
"Oh...I don't think I'm going to be cold for a long time." I replied. My head was lying on his shoulder. I looked up at him. I lifted my hand to his face and I pulled him down to kiss me.
I turned my body, my arms wrapped around his neck and I started grinding against the bulge in his pants. He groaned and his arms moved around my back, stopping at my ass. But then Gerard stopped kissing me.
"What are we doing?" He asked.
"Isn't obvious?" I asked with a chuckle but then I got serious. "Look, Gerard. I love you. I have since I was 17. You were the one person I was never able to forget about. I tried and I tried. I moved to the other side of the country."
"Thats the other thing I don't get, why did you move to forget about me?"
"I was scared. I had never felt that way before. I was also scared that you would just laugh at me and think I was a stupid little girl with a crush." I replied with a shrug.
"I never thought that you were stupid little girl. I thought you were beautiful." He kissed my cheek. "I..." He sighed. "I thought you were perfect. And I was scared too."
"Are you scared now?" I asked him.
"Terrified." He whispered.
"Me too." I replied softly. I brought my hand up and felt his hair. "You cut it." He nodded.
"Don't change the subject." He warned.
"Sorry." I replied. "Y'know these past five months have been horrible for me."
"Mikey said you were having the time of your life." Gerard replied. I sat up and got off of Gerard. He sat up too.
"I told him that I was fine. But I lied. I have been trying to forget you but its harder now that we've been together. Its been hard." He nodded.
"Then lets not forget. Lets just be together and-"
"Its not that simple, Gerard. You had a girlfriend and you never told me. I could have waited for you." I stood up and turned off the T.V. The room was in total darkness now. I found the lamp and switched it on. "I don't think you understand how much that hurt me, Gerard!"
"I was so,so stupid." Gerard said. "I know, I should have told you but I couldn't find the courage, I thought you would just break it off with me and I need to have you in my life, Roxy. I love you. I'm just a pathetic wimp and you're right I don't understand how much I hurt you. But I'm willing to spend the rest of my life, making it up to you."
"Okay." I whispered
Silence.
"Okay?" Gerard asked. "We're giving it a shot?" I nodded
"But you have to promise me something first." I said. He nodded. "Don't ever hurt me again. Don't ever leave me. Don't ever lie to me. Just promise to love me everyday and I will make you the same promise." And then I had another thought. "You have to buy me something pretty to go in my new hair." Gerard chuckled.
"Deal." Gerard stood up and came over to me. He kissed me with so much impact, I nearly fell over. My hands cupped his cheeks and his arms encircled my waist. We were together at last.
When we broke apart I couldn't help but smile. He smiled back at me.
"And you're not a pathetic wimp. You're fucking perfect to me." I whispered.
"Not as perfect as you." Gerard whispered back. We leaned together and our foreheads touched. I had planned on telling him he was more perfect but he would just say the same thing back and we would be there all night. I let him whisper perfect, over and over again as we entered the bedroom. We made love in a way that we never had before and I felt complete. The large hole in my chest had finally closed up. While Gerard held me I thought about our future together. And then another thought came into my head.
"What are we going to tell Frank and Mikey?" I asked Gerard.
"The truth of course." Gerard replied. "Oh, but they hate me for what I did...yeah...that's all you!" Gerard got up and I checked out his nude body.
"Wimp." I whispered.
"Yeah but I'm your wimp." He replied. I smiled And it was true. He was mine.
**
A FEW WEEKS LATER
"You..." Frank pointed at me. "...and you..." He pointed at Gerard. We both nodded.
"Its ok Frank. Everything is ok now. Gerard and I love each other and we're going to make a proper go at a relationship." Mikey who had been silent through the whole unveiling, finally spoke.
"Are you guys happy?" He asked. We both nodded. "Then thats all that matters." Mikey smiled. "I'm happy for you. Frank?"
"I guess I'm happy for you guys too. I just didn't see it coming." Frank replied. I shrugged. Gerard snaked an arm around my waist and rested his hand on my hip. Frank smiled, a genuine smile. "Are you guys gonna get married? Ooh! Can I be the best man!?"
"We're not going to get married yet." Gerard replied. He looked at me and smiled. "But we made a few vows. Ones that won't be broken." I smiled up at him and he kissed me.
"AW!" Frank said. "I didn't need to see that!" He averted his eyes but we just ignored him.
"So are you guys gonna like live together?" Mikey asked.
"Not yet. I'm going to go back and work for Green Day for now, you guys are going to record your next album and Gerard and I will just see each other when we can. And then hopefully after that, I can work for you guys. So we can be together all the time."
"Thats cool." Mikey replied. Gerard nodded. "Right, come on Frank. Lets leave these guys alone for a while." I mouthed a thank you to him and he nodded with a smirk. Gerard pulled me to his body and we kissed some more.
"I love you Gerard Way." I whispered.
"I love you Roxy Roller." Gerard whispered back. He kissed my nose and a single tear slipped down my cheek. "Whats wrong?"
"I'm just happy." I replied. Gerard caught the tear on his finger. "So happy."
"Me too." He whispered.
We were finally together and we had a whole future ahead of us. I couldn't wait.
THE END.
**
Hey! Thank you all for reading, review and considering this story! I hope you've enjoyed it and keep a watch out for a new story that I'm going to post very soon!! Thanks!! XO
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