Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Mad World
Chapter Eleven: I'm A Terrible Liar
When Gerard awoke next, he could barely awaken at all. He could not lift a finger, let alone his eyelids. He knew this feeling. He was under a heavy sedation. As he concentrated, he could hear the monitors beeping. He was in the hospital. The next sound he heard was the sound of faint crying. Frank. The accident came flooding back into his mind.
Gerard so desperately wanted to ask Frank if he was okay, if he was hurt anywhere. But he could not move his mouth to speak, nor did he think he would be able to summon the words if he could. However, from the little he could remember, the car had hit him for the most part. Frank should not be too injured.
"Your husband is fine.” Gerard heard a voice say.
At first he thought it was Frank or one of the doctors speaking. The voice however, was very familiar.
"Kenneth?” Gerard thought to himself.
"Yes, Mr. Way, it's me."
"Are you in the room? How am I hearing you right now?"
"I am around in a sense."
"What do you want?"
"You made your decision. It's been over 2 months, Mr. Way. Mind, you did not successfully kill yourself. But I can fix that. At the moment, you are barely hanging on to life."
"Wait, what? No! I did not kill myself! I was just trying to protect Frankie!"
"Yes, by altering the car so that it hit you instead of him. Even though a rash decision, you still killed yourself. It was your choice. You made it."
"That is bullshit."
"Rules are rules, Mr. Way."
It was then that Gerard heard the crying next to him intensify. He felt something lightly touch his hand. Frank had begun to talk to him. It was very difficult to focus on what he was saying, as he was heavily medicated. Still, he was able to make out most of it.
"Baby please... please, stay with me. I love you so much sweetie. Please… fuck… don't make me go through this again... I'm so sorry... I'm so fucking sorry I didn't slow down when you told me to... I'm sorry I yelled at you... this is all my fault... oh god...Gerard...I don't think I can make it without you...please... please stay with me..."
'Oh Frankie...' Gerard mentally sighed. If he could cry, he would have. His heart wept with Frank instead. It felt again as though the Gerard that had lived through this reality was suffering alongside them.
"Isn't there anything I can do for him?" Gerard tried to ask Kenneth.
"Nothing. Yet what should it matter? Soon, he won't even really exist to you."
"...I, I have to say I don't know how I feel about that, Kenneth."
Again, Frank's cries broke through to him. "God Gerard...if you don't make it...I'll...I'll just die...please...I'll do anything...I'll never yell or scream at you again...I'll cherish you every fucking day... I can't wake up without you next to me...I can't...I CAN'T! I fucking need you, Gee!"
It was then that Gerard focused, and he told Kenneth sternly, "...no. I want to stay here."
"My dear boy, your choice has already been made. There's no taking it back."
"NO! I WANT TO STAY HERE!"
"Out of curiosity, why the sudden change of heart?Hmm? Not very many weeks ago, you were just begging to go back."
"I --- I..."
"Yes, my boy?"
"..I love him. I do. I fucking love him. I can't do this to him; I can't leave him like this!"
"I see. Well touching as that maybe, I don't like people playing around with my rules, Mr. Way."
"I don't fucking care Kenneth! He needs me. I'm staying. Please. You already fucked me over once; don't do this to me again. Please...I need to stay."
"And what are you willing to give me, in exchange for this abomination?"
"Anything."
"Even, say, your soul?"
"..Yes."
"Alright. It's a deal, Mr. Way."
~
Mikey Way walked into his brother's hospital room with another batch of comic books. He'd brought a few more of Gerard's favorites to read to him. He walked past Ray, who was texting someone on his cellphone.
Mikey had not spoken to Ray or Frank since that horrid night on the tour bus, where they had pressured Gerard into drinking that cup of alcohol. It was a bit silly, he knew. Still that one cup of alcohol led him to more cups, which had led him to alcohol poisoning. Gerard had been left in a coma since, showing no signs of recovery.
Immature as it was, Mikey stood on the grounds that Frank Iero and Ray Toro murdered his brother.
He waved hello at Lindsey and Bandit, who were in their usual positions by Gerard's bedside. He took his usual seat by them and wondered bitterly where the asshole he used to call a friend had gone.
Sure enough, Frank Iero came through the door looking worn and tired. Mikey could not help but feel a little sorry for him. Jamia had said he had barely slept in weeks. Mikey knew the guilt must be eating at him, which he felt was both sad yet deserved at the same time. Frank put down his usual can of coca cola and took a seat next to Ray.
They had done this for nearly every morning since Gerard had gone into the coma. They would gather around, eat some breakfast in his room. Some of them would talk to Gerard if they had something to say, hoping that he might hear it. And then they all went about their usual day’s routine. Still, sometimes Mikey would stay when everyone else had left. Sometimes Lindsey would too.
Mikey would begrudgingly admit that Frank had done this the most. Mikey had once checked on his brother, and had seen that Frank was there, hours after they had all gone home. He had heard singing, and rushed into the room. He was startled to see that Frank had been singing to Gerard, as he stroked his hand lovingly. Mikey had very seldom heard Frank sing offstage.
Today, however, was different. For around 3:00 PM, the stand still they had been stuck in for the past two months was suddenly broken by a horrible noise. The steady beep that had been coming from Gerard's monitor had slowed down. No one had noticed really, until finally it changed into a slow and steady flatline.
"Doctor?!?" Lindsey ran out the door screaming, "DOCTOR!!"
Everyone was on their feet instantly. Little Bandit looked around, confused by all the sudden hysteria. Her eyes darted to her father, and her expression showed that she knew something was wrong.
A medical team rushed in, and poked and prodded for a while. However, their efforts were futile. The sound of the flatline rung loudly in everyone's ears like nails on a chalkboard.
"He's gone. I'm calling it." the doctor said simply. "Time of death, 3:12 PM."
Lindsey had collapsed on the floor and was screaming heart wrenching screams. Bandit looked at her frightfully and Ray picked her up in his arms. Although he could not have been of much comfort as he was crying loudly himself. Frank was in a similar state as Lindsey.
Mikey was stoic. He did not cry, or break down as everyone else had. Instead he stood there in shock, only feeling his heart and his spirit being torn apart bit by bit within him.
"What... what happened?" Mikey was only barely able to whisper loud enough to be heard.
"I don't know kid. It's a bit weird. It's like he just... gave up." the doctor shrugged.
Mikey took in the doctor as he spoke. He didn't even seem to care. There was a coldness about him, which Mikey disliked. Did he not realize that his brother, his best friend just passed away?
The doctor must have seen this, as his expression softened a bit. He patted Mikey on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Way. I know this is very difficult for all of you."He looked to Frank, who now had his face buried in his hands as he screamed repeatedly into them. "I'm going to give you a few numbers for some grievance counselors you may want to try out. And I'm always here if you have any questions."
"Thank you, Dr. Robertson." Mikey muttered his gratitude.
"Please, call me Kenneth."
"Right. Kenneth."
Kenneth smiled at him and gave him one last pat on the shoulder before leaving the room. Mikey watched his tall form go out of sight before turning his attention back to his brother. He walked over to his bed and sat on the edge. The nurse looked as though she might say something, but perhaps she understood, as she thought second of it.
In the corner somewhere, he could hear Bandit asking Ray why everyone was crying. What was wrong with daddy. Everyone was too trapped in their own agony to answer. Mikey tried to lie next to his brother. He stroked his familiar hair and kissed him on the forehead. And finally, then, he began to cry too.
Yet, Mikey noticed something. Gerard's face had carried an almost troubled expression in the past weeks. Mikey had shrugged it off, sure he was imagining it. Still, now that he saw Gerard's face close to him once more, the troubled look was gone. Gerard actually looked peaceful.
Dead, yet peaceful.
Mikey comforted himself with the idea that perhaps he had moved on to a better place.
~
Next chapter: The conclusion. :)
When Gerard awoke next, he could barely awaken at all. He could not lift a finger, let alone his eyelids. He knew this feeling. He was under a heavy sedation. As he concentrated, he could hear the monitors beeping. He was in the hospital. The next sound he heard was the sound of faint crying. Frank. The accident came flooding back into his mind.
Gerard so desperately wanted to ask Frank if he was okay, if he was hurt anywhere. But he could not move his mouth to speak, nor did he think he would be able to summon the words if he could. However, from the little he could remember, the car had hit him for the most part. Frank should not be too injured.
"Your husband is fine.” Gerard heard a voice say.
At first he thought it was Frank or one of the doctors speaking. The voice however, was very familiar.
"Kenneth?” Gerard thought to himself.
"Yes, Mr. Way, it's me."
"Are you in the room? How am I hearing you right now?"
"I am around in a sense."
"What do you want?"
"You made your decision. It's been over 2 months, Mr. Way. Mind, you did not successfully kill yourself. But I can fix that. At the moment, you are barely hanging on to life."
"Wait, what? No! I did not kill myself! I was just trying to protect Frankie!"
"Yes, by altering the car so that it hit you instead of him. Even though a rash decision, you still killed yourself. It was your choice. You made it."
"That is bullshit."
"Rules are rules, Mr. Way."
It was then that Gerard heard the crying next to him intensify. He felt something lightly touch his hand. Frank had begun to talk to him. It was very difficult to focus on what he was saying, as he was heavily medicated. Still, he was able to make out most of it.
"Baby please... please, stay with me. I love you so much sweetie. Please… fuck… don't make me go through this again... I'm so sorry... I'm so fucking sorry I didn't slow down when you told me to... I'm sorry I yelled at you... this is all my fault... oh god...Gerard...I don't think I can make it without you...please... please stay with me..."
'Oh Frankie...' Gerard mentally sighed. If he could cry, he would have. His heart wept with Frank instead. It felt again as though the Gerard that had lived through this reality was suffering alongside them.
"Isn't there anything I can do for him?" Gerard tried to ask Kenneth.
"Nothing. Yet what should it matter? Soon, he won't even really exist to you."
"...I, I have to say I don't know how I feel about that, Kenneth."
Again, Frank's cries broke through to him. "God Gerard...if you don't make it...I'll...I'll just die...please...I'll do anything...I'll never yell or scream at you again...I'll cherish you every fucking day... I can't wake up without you next to me...I can't...I CAN'T! I fucking need you, Gee!"
It was then that Gerard focused, and he told Kenneth sternly, "...no. I want to stay here."
"My dear boy, your choice has already been made. There's no taking it back."
"NO! I WANT TO STAY HERE!"
"Out of curiosity, why the sudden change of heart?Hmm? Not very many weeks ago, you were just begging to go back."
"I --- I..."
"Yes, my boy?"
"..I love him. I do. I fucking love him. I can't do this to him; I can't leave him like this!"
"I see. Well touching as that maybe, I don't like people playing around with my rules, Mr. Way."
"I don't fucking care Kenneth! He needs me. I'm staying. Please. You already fucked me over once; don't do this to me again. Please...I need to stay."
"And what are you willing to give me, in exchange for this abomination?"
"Anything."
"Even, say, your soul?"
"..Yes."
"Alright. It's a deal, Mr. Way."
~
Mikey Way walked into his brother's hospital room with another batch of comic books. He'd brought a few more of Gerard's favorites to read to him. He walked past Ray, who was texting someone on his cellphone.
Mikey had not spoken to Ray or Frank since that horrid night on the tour bus, where they had pressured Gerard into drinking that cup of alcohol. It was a bit silly, he knew. Still that one cup of alcohol led him to more cups, which had led him to alcohol poisoning. Gerard had been left in a coma since, showing no signs of recovery.
Immature as it was, Mikey stood on the grounds that Frank Iero and Ray Toro murdered his brother.
He waved hello at Lindsey and Bandit, who were in their usual positions by Gerard's bedside. He took his usual seat by them and wondered bitterly where the asshole he used to call a friend had gone.
Sure enough, Frank Iero came through the door looking worn and tired. Mikey could not help but feel a little sorry for him. Jamia had said he had barely slept in weeks. Mikey knew the guilt must be eating at him, which he felt was both sad yet deserved at the same time. Frank put down his usual can of coca cola and took a seat next to Ray.
They had done this for nearly every morning since Gerard had gone into the coma. They would gather around, eat some breakfast in his room. Some of them would talk to Gerard if they had something to say, hoping that he might hear it. And then they all went about their usual day’s routine. Still, sometimes Mikey would stay when everyone else had left. Sometimes Lindsey would too.
Mikey would begrudgingly admit that Frank had done this the most. Mikey had once checked on his brother, and had seen that Frank was there, hours after they had all gone home. He had heard singing, and rushed into the room. He was startled to see that Frank had been singing to Gerard, as he stroked his hand lovingly. Mikey had very seldom heard Frank sing offstage.
Today, however, was different. For around 3:00 PM, the stand still they had been stuck in for the past two months was suddenly broken by a horrible noise. The steady beep that had been coming from Gerard's monitor had slowed down. No one had noticed really, until finally it changed into a slow and steady flatline.
"Doctor?!?" Lindsey ran out the door screaming, "DOCTOR!!"
Everyone was on their feet instantly. Little Bandit looked around, confused by all the sudden hysteria. Her eyes darted to her father, and her expression showed that she knew something was wrong.
A medical team rushed in, and poked and prodded for a while. However, their efforts were futile. The sound of the flatline rung loudly in everyone's ears like nails on a chalkboard.
"He's gone. I'm calling it." the doctor said simply. "Time of death, 3:12 PM."
Lindsey had collapsed on the floor and was screaming heart wrenching screams. Bandit looked at her frightfully and Ray picked her up in his arms. Although he could not have been of much comfort as he was crying loudly himself. Frank was in a similar state as Lindsey.
Mikey was stoic. He did not cry, or break down as everyone else had. Instead he stood there in shock, only feeling his heart and his spirit being torn apart bit by bit within him.
"What... what happened?" Mikey was only barely able to whisper loud enough to be heard.
"I don't know kid. It's a bit weird. It's like he just... gave up." the doctor shrugged.
Mikey took in the doctor as he spoke. He didn't even seem to care. There was a coldness about him, which Mikey disliked. Did he not realize that his brother, his best friend just passed away?
The doctor must have seen this, as his expression softened a bit. He patted Mikey on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Way. I know this is very difficult for all of you."He looked to Frank, who now had his face buried in his hands as he screamed repeatedly into them. "I'm going to give you a few numbers for some grievance counselors you may want to try out. And I'm always here if you have any questions."
"Thank you, Dr. Robertson." Mikey muttered his gratitude.
"Please, call me Kenneth."
"Right. Kenneth."
Kenneth smiled at him and gave him one last pat on the shoulder before leaving the room. Mikey watched his tall form go out of sight before turning his attention back to his brother. He walked over to his bed and sat on the edge. The nurse looked as though she might say something, but perhaps she understood, as she thought second of it.
In the corner somewhere, he could hear Bandit asking Ray why everyone was crying. What was wrong with daddy. Everyone was too trapped in their own agony to answer. Mikey tried to lie next to his brother. He stroked his familiar hair and kissed him on the forehead. And finally, then, he began to cry too.
Yet, Mikey noticed something. Gerard's face had carried an almost troubled expression in the past weeks. Mikey had shrugged it off, sure he was imagining it. Still, now that he saw Gerard's face close to him once more, the troubled look was gone. Gerard actually looked peaceful.
Dead, yet peaceful.
Mikey comforted himself with the idea that perhaps he had moved on to a better place.
~
Next chapter: The conclusion. :)
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