FicWad

He sat, hands running along the porcelain tub, waiting to get inside. His breaths were shallow, getting caught up in his throat, nearly exploding in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it all meant. He wasn’t sure of anything. The tile floor had become damp from the steam. His skin sticky. Using all of his strength, he pushed against the floor and lifted himself from the ground. He turned toward the mirror, and wiped the fog away to reveal himself. He stared into his own empty eyes, glassy and red. He stood there, motionlessly. Finally he lifted one hand and wiped at the make-up that was streaming down his face.
Ryan had done his make-up that night.
He started viciously scrubbing at it. He needed it to go away. His fingers pulled, and smeared the black and red, until his skin was raw. His salty tears seeped into his pours, stinging. He squeezed his eyes closed, not willing to look at himself anymore. He ran both hands through his hair, squeezing just a little too hard, and pulling a few strands out of his scalp. He opened his eyes again, and looked back in the mirror. The door was open, Ryan standing and staring in. Brendon turned around quickly, but did nothing to cover his make-up streaked face. Ryan held back his tears, and opened his mouth to speak.
“Bren.”
Brendon didn’t speak. He just continued to let the tears spill onto his face. He was tired of dealing with his bullshit. He was tired of being walked all over by the man he loved.
“Bren, please talk to me.” Ryan pleaded. Brendon shook his head.
“I have nothing to say to you.” Brendon whispered. Ryan nodded, trying to be understanding. He turned around and closed the bathroom door behind him. The door clicked shut, and Brendon nearly collapsed onto the floor again. He balanced himself on the edge of the sink. He couldn’t breath.
Brendon began to hear voices outside.
“I can talk to him if you want.” Jon’s voice said on the other side of the door. Brendon could feel the heat in his chest begin to rise.
“Are you nuts? That’s the worst thing you could do.” Ryan said.
“Well someone needs to. We can’t let this fuck the band over.”
Brendon’s hands began to shake. He was hyperventilating.
“Jon, not right now.”
“What? He’s gonna fuck everything up!” Jon yelled. Brendon grabbed the door handle, and nearly tore it off it’s hinges. He stormed into the hotel room and looked directly at Jon. He shoved his palms into Jon’s chest, sending him into the wall behind him.
“No! You fucked everything up! You fucked everything up when you fucked him!” He screamed, not caring that Ryan stood by, hand over his mouth, tears falling from his eyes.
“Brendon, calm down.” Jon said, putting his hands up.
“Calm down? Fuck you!” He turned to Ryan, “And fuck you! How could you do this to me? You fucking liar!”
“Bren-”
“No! I don’t want to hear it. Fuck both of you.” Brendon stormed into the hotel hallway, sobbing. He was almost running, not really knowing where he was going.
“Brendon!” Ryan called from down the hall. But Brendon ignored him, and just kept moving. He needed to get out of here. He needed air. He needed to be away from Ryan.
“Brendon?” Spencer’s voice asked, as he came up the stairs. Brendon turned to see his friend, a look of terror written on his face. Brendon’s knee’s went weak, and he practically fell into Spencer’s arms. “Brendon, what happened?” Spencer asked, running his hand down Brendon’s back.
“He cheated. He fucking cheated.” Brendon sobbed into Spencer’s jacket. Spencer hushed Brendon, still rubbing his back. He glanced up the stairwell to see Ryan standing at the top, one hand over his mouth, one in his hair. They caught each other’s gaze, but quickly Ryan squeezed his eyes shut, and ran back down the hallway.
“He doesn’t love me, Spence.” Brendon whispered. Spencer squeezed him a little tighter, still looking at where Ryan had been standing.
“It’s okay,” He comforted, “I’m right here.”