Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Save me from myself
Three days. Three days of the same cycle. A cycle that mostly consisted of eat, sleep, mope, and clinging to Mom and Mikey when they got home. The first day wasn't too bad at first. I had drawn a few really good pictures, went through all my CD's, flipped through the channels on the televison, but that soon became old. I was well past the point of barn cat and I could tell that my family was growing a bit impatient with my never-ending game of follow the leader. Not that I could help it, I had been cooped up for days. Which brings me to where I am now. Laying on my bed on a Friday afternoon, looking at the ceiling, and waiting to hear the front door swing open to greet me with the sound of Mikey's shoes plunk against the wood floors above.
I waited... and waited... and waited. Mikey must be late today. I have got his arrivel burned in my brain now and it would only be off by a few minutes at most. I check my clock on the night stand. 15 minutes late... What could be taking him so long? Doesn't he know he has a big brother to entertain? He must be avoiding me... Why am I so disliked by everyone around me?
Sighing, I sluggishly sit up on the bed, wrinkling a few of the paper that I had been previously sketching on. I groan and begin to shuffle them into a messy pile when I suddenly hear the door click shut up stairs. I was ready to bolt up to say hello until I remembered about my constant clinginess and desided to give Mikey some space for a change. I once again busied myself with cleaning up my mess while listening to Mikey walk past the front hall and into the kitchen. I was a bit surprised to hear the little pitter patter of feet tip toeing behind him. Must be his one of his little school friends. I never really cared much for his friends, they were quite judgementle about my lifestyle and always tried to give tips on how I should change my ways. I heard the smaller's feet stop in the kitchen while Mikey's continued on before he stopped right outside the basement door that was my room.
"Gerard, you down there?" Mikey called as he cracked the door a bit to peek down. The sunlight's ray trickled in my dark cave. Not much natural light had touched the place, for I only had one small window near my bed which almost always was used as an extra place to store my comic books.
"Um, yeah... Whatcha need?" I said without looking up from my work, now moving at turtle speed to keep myself busy for a longer period of time.
"Could you come up for a sec?" I could hear his fingers drum casually against the frame of the door as he spoke.
"For what?" I whined.
"Just get your ass up here, okay?" Mikey said growing impatient as he dashed away. I sighed and slid off my bed, towards the stairs. I slowly climbed my way up, keeping my eyes to the floor until I reached the kitchen where my brother and the guest awaited. My eyes creeped past the tiled floor and rested on a pair of shoes that looked fimilar, but weren't Mikey's. My gaze snaked up the black skinny jeans, creeped past the Misfist's hoodie, traced the lip ring on the perfectly plump lips, and rested on the russet orbs that peer right into my hazel ones. There he was and this time it wasn't a dream. I was speechless, to say the least.
"Hey Gee... Sorry to interupt," Frank squeaked nervously as he tried not to break eye contact, even though I could see he really wanted to look away as he always did when things became awkward.
"Um.. H-hey Frankie. How did- Why are you-... I'm confused...." I babbled as Mikey suppressed a small giggle.
"I saw him sitting on the curb outside of his house on my way home. He looked kinda bored so I invited him over to hang out with you for a bit, besides you need some company," Mikey laughed trying to lighten the mood. "Catch you guys later... I have some important business to attend to," he winked and skipped up the stairs to his room, leaving Frank and I to stand awkwardly beside the table.
I drew my attention back to Frank to find him looking at me intensely, eyebrows knit together. His gaze burned on my skin as he silently inspected my bed ridden figure.
"You look better. I can bearly see the bruises and the swelling looks like it went down a lot too, but the cuts may take a bit longer..." He smiled, trying to break the tension breifly before he became suddenly very serious, "I'm glad your brother recongnized me today... I've wanted to talk to you for awhile," he said sternly with a hint of sorrow. "Would you please give me the chance to understand before you run away this time?" His eyes pleaded. I studied his face and let his words sink in before nodding my head. I motioned for him to follow me into the basement. He treaded on my heels all the way down until we reached my bed were we both plopped down.
"So... What do you want to know exactly?" I mumbled while pulling my pillow into my lap for comfort.
"Tell me anything you feel comfortable talking about... I am definitely not forcing you, but I am trying to help as best as I can," Frank said as he fixed himself in a laying position so he was on his stomach and propping his hands under his chin to look up at me with his chocolate sausers.
"Well, let's start with what you already know, I guess..." I said glumly as I rolled up my sleeves to, once again, reveal my marks of shame and self hatred. Frank cautiously reached out and traced a finger over some of the older scars to find that they were deeper than he first thought. I saw him wince and he recoiled his hand slowly. "I-I... Yeah... things just became harder and harder with each new school year. No one liked me, my old friends left me because their popularity was at risk, I became the school punching bag, I was constantly teased for who I was... The first time I ever cut was just to see what it was like. One became two and two became three cuts. Each one deeper than the last. It just progressed and became a need, something to ebb away the emotional pain. Something I became dependant on." As I spoke, I stared into space with a blank expression on my face, reliving my past. Frank reached out once again and soothingly placed his tiny hand over my own, giving me a meaningful look. I return a weak smile and rest my eyes on my cuts. The emotion was too overwhelming and just looking at them made me want to slice open my skin yet again.
"I would like to help you, if you'd let me.... I don't want you to harm yourself anymore. I don't know exactly what you are going through... but I, too, am constantly getting my ass kicked and not just at school." He spoke softly as his voice wavered a bit. I looked up to see him gesturing towards his torso as he lifted his shirt to reveal, rather new looking, dark bruises along his hip bone. Also pointing out some slashes, deep and shallow, around his stomach and collar bone before turning his back towards me and using one hand to pull the hem of his shirt over his head. More bruises, scars, and what looked like old cigarette burns were scattered on the surface of his skin. At first, I didn't know what to make of all the wounds. All I could do was stare. A numbing sensation embraced me and my stomach twisted itself into knots as my eyes traced every inch of the damaged tissue.
"W-wha-," was all I could peep. My eyes were blocked of the shocking scars as Frank lowered his shirt and faced me once again. His eyes were so glassy and pain ridden that my heart felt as if it was ready to engulf itself in a black hole of disappear. His face contorted and his lower lip trembled uncontrollably as he spoke with a single tear streaming down his angelic face.
"M-my parents. They beat me."
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