Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Save me from myself
My brain and stomach were doing summersults as I watched Frank sob into his hands. He started off with such confidence and ended crushed, broken, and most definitely beaten. How could I have been so selfish? I had been so wrapped up in my own self pity that I had completely forgotten that I'm not the only one in the world that has problems. I had just assumed that my life was unbearable and now here I am, staring blankly at a friend in need who is constantly abused by his parents for reasons unknown.
The air was stale and heavy with dread; with every wail my heart sank more and more. I felt as if I were going to vomit, but I had to stay strong. Frank needed me now. I scooted over to his small, shaking body and gently placed my hand on his half exposed back, causing him to stir.
"Shhhh... It'll be okay... I promise." I cooed softly, trying to sound more convincing than I actually felt. I began to rub in small circular motions to comfort him; it was the least I could do to provid him some comfort. His sobs quieted into sniffles as he lifted his head slightly, only to drop it heavily onto my theigh to use as a pillow. I could feel how soft his cheeks were on my lap. Not to mention the damp tears that also soaked their way through my jeans. He was so delicate in my hands. He was my perfect, little ball of clay that melted at my touch and molded his petite body against me. How could anyone hurt such a gorgeous being?
"S-sorry Gee..." He mumbled, pitifully as he peeked at me through the corner of his now puffy, blood-shot eyes. "I came here to help you and.. I kind of lost focus. I just wanted you to know you aren't completely alone." He sat back up and wiped the streaks from his cheeks. I was about to reply when Mikey came stomping down the basement steps.
"Hey Gerard," he said with his eyes fixed on the small, square case in his hands, "Have you seen the disk for my Smashing Pumpkins CD? I just noticed it was gone and I was wondering if you had borrow- Oh... Am I interupting...?" His head finally swiviled in our direction and began to feel the awkwardness settle in. His eyes darted between our faces, taking in the whole scene.
"No-no... Its fine.." Frank spoke, trying to hide the fact that just moments before he had been bawling his eyes out, "I had better get home anyway..."
I watched Frank hop off my bed and sulk towards the door. "Thanks for having me over," he mumbled without looking back as he hurried up the stairs. I listened as his shoes creaked against the ceiling with each step and the front door slam behind him.
"Um... Sorry I walked in on you guys... I'll be in my room if you need me," Mikey said uneasily as he fled from the room to, again, leave me alone to bathe in my thoughts.
I sigh and toss the pillow onto the matress to bury my face in its feathery forgiveness. I needed to scream. I needed a release. I thought about my razors in the drawer right near my bed. Thought about the booze I had hidden in my closet. The ideas comforted me, but then my mind slipped back to Frankie. How much he cared even though he too was in immense pain. Although, his pain was out of his control. How I want to help him, but I hadn't the faintest idea how. I certainly don't know the reason of why... Questions. No immediate answers. That was the frustrating part. I wonder if I should ask Mikey. I couldn't... It wasn't my secret to tell. A mental game of tug of war plagued my thoughts.
Tap... Tap, tap, tap
My head shot up to seek out the sudden disturbance. I craned my neck this way and that to find the source had been coming from the small window above my desk. It was the only window in my entire room and only let in a thin beam of light due to all the comic books I had shoved in it to mimic a small bookcase. I quickly spring from my matress and scurry over to yank my tresures aside. Peeking through the glass while sheilding my eyes from the bright rays of the setting sun, I am surprised to be greeted with big chocolate eyes staring back at me. Frankie? Why is he still here? I fumble with the rusty handle on the window sill and failed. Glancing around for something to aid me, I choose the rolling chair beside my desk. Making sure I had both feet steadily perched on the seat, I finally manage to yank it open, almost falling flat on my face. I can hear Frank giggle from the outside of the glass at my attempt to keep my balance. It always amazes me how easily he can shift from utterly depressed to a bouncing, ball of energy.
"Sorry... You did a funny looking dance. Anyway, I just wanted to give you my home number if you ever needed to reach me. Um, do you have a pen?" He said with his famous lopsided grin that always seemed to send me into a spiralling trance. I wordlessly snatched the tool from the desk top and placed it into his small hand, smirking. He took it and with the other hand he yanked my arm back through the window, giggling as he wrote all 7 digets. He then released his grip and passed the pen back through the window. He held out his arm this time. "Now you."
I blushed and delicately took hold of his forearm. He was so muscular for such a small person. The thick veins would bulge out of his skin without him even flexing. I wrote slowly to savior the bitter-sweet moment. Finished, I loosed my hold and let him slip back through my fingers. He brought his face back to the window and peered in, looking into my eyes with his own. They sparkled with amusment as well as many other swirling emotions I hadn't even begun to understand.
"Thanks, Gee... Keep in touch. Just know that I am here if you ever need me." And with that, he spun about and took off down the damp pavement. I stood with my head almost fully out the window as I watched him gallop at full speed towards the house where I had first bumped into him. Sighing with relief and a bit of disappointment, I closed the window and placed my comics back where they belonged. Mind a foggy mess, I noticed my arm was still warm and tingled where his fingers had lingered.
I made my way back to my bed and jumped on the squeaky matress, unable to contain my joy. My smile was so huge and pure that my cheeks felt as though they may tear through my skin. I rolled up my sleeve to gaze at the digets that had been inked on my skin.
555-8849
Those seven numbers held so much hope.
The air was stale and heavy with dread; with every wail my heart sank more and more. I felt as if I were going to vomit, but I had to stay strong. Frank needed me now. I scooted over to his small, shaking body and gently placed my hand on his half exposed back, causing him to stir.
"Shhhh... It'll be okay... I promise." I cooed softly, trying to sound more convincing than I actually felt. I began to rub in small circular motions to comfort him; it was the least I could do to provid him some comfort. His sobs quieted into sniffles as he lifted his head slightly, only to drop it heavily onto my theigh to use as a pillow. I could feel how soft his cheeks were on my lap. Not to mention the damp tears that also soaked their way through my jeans. He was so delicate in my hands. He was my perfect, little ball of clay that melted at my touch and molded his petite body against me. How could anyone hurt such a gorgeous being?
"S-sorry Gee..." He mumbled, pitifully as he peeked at me through the corner of his now puffy, blood-shot eyes. "I came here to help you and.. I kind of lost focus. I just wanted you to know you aren't completely alone." He sat back up and wiped the streaks from his cheeks. I was about to reply when Mikey came stomping down the basement steps.
"Hey Gerard," he said with his eyes fixed on the small, square case in his hands, "Have you seen the disk for my Smashing Pumpkins CD? I just noticed it was gone and I was wondering if you had borrow- Oh... Am I interupting...?" His head finally swiviled in our direction and began to feel the awkwardness settle in. His eyes darted between our faces, taking in the whole scene.
"No-no... Its fine.." Frank spoke, trying to hide the fact that just moments before he had been bawling his eyes out, "I had better get home anyway..."
I watched Frank hop off my bed and sulk towards the door. "Thanks for having me over," he mumbled without looking back as he hurried up the stairs. I listened as his shoes creaked against the ceiling with each step and the front door slam behind him.
"Um... Sorry I walked in on you guys... I'll be in my room if you need me," Mikey said uneasily as he fled from the room to, again, leave me alone to bathe in my thoughts.
I sigh and toss the pillow onto the matress to bury my face in its feathery forgiveness. I needed to scream. I needed a release. I thought about my razors in the drawer right near my bed. Thought about the booze I had hidden in my closet. The ideas comforted me, but then my mind slipped back to Frankie. How much he cared even though he too was in immense pain. Although, his pain was out of his control. How I want to help him, but I hadn't the faintest idea how. I certainly don't know the reason of why... Questions. No immediate answers. That was the frustrating part. I wonder if I should ask Mikey. I couldn't... It wasn't my secret to tell. A mental game of tug of war plagued my thoughts.
Tap... Tap, tap, tap
My head shot up to seek out the sudden disturbance. I craned my neck this way and that to find the source had been coming from the small window above my desk. It was the only window in my entire room and only let in a thin beam of light due to all the comic books I had shoved in it to mimic a small bookcase. I quickly spring from my matress and scurry over to yank my tresures aside. Peeking through the glass while sheilding my eyes from the bright rays of the setting sun, I am surprised to be greeted with big chocolate eyes staring back at me. Frankie? Why is he still here? I fumble with the rusty handle on the window sill and failed. Glancing around for something to aid me, I choose the rolling chair beside my desk. Making sure I had both feet steadily perched on the seat, I finally manage to yank it open, almost falling flat on my face. I can hear Frank giggle from the outside of the glass at my attempt to keep my balance. It always amazes me how easily he can shift from utterly depressed to a bouncing, ball of energy.
"Sorry... You did a funny looking dance. Anyway, I just wanted to give you my home number if you ever needed to reach me. Um, do you have a pen?" He said with his famous lopsided grin that always seemed to send me into a spiralling trance. I wordlessly snatched the tool from the desk top and placed it into his small hand, smirking. He took it and with the other hand he yanked my arm back through the window, giggling as he wrote all 7 digets. He then released his grip and passed the pen back through the window. He held out his arm this time. "Now you."
I blushed and delicately took hold of his forearm. He was so muscular for such a small person. The thick veins would bulge out of his skin without him even flexing. I wrote slowly to savior the bitter-sweet moment. Finished, I loosed my hold and let him slip back through my fingers. He brought his face back to the window and peered in, looking into my eyes with his own. They sparkled with amusment as well as many other swirling emotions I hadn't even begun to understand.
"Thanks, Gee... Keep in touch. Just know that I am here if you ever need me." And with that, he spun about and took off down the damp pavement. I stood with my head almost fully out the window as I watched him gallop at full speed towards the house where I had first bumped into him. Sighing with relief and a bit of disappointment, I closed the window and placed my comics back where they belonged. Mind a foggy mess, I noticed my arm was still warm and tingled where his fingers had lingered.
I made my way back to my bed and jumped on the squeaky matress, unable to contain my joy. My smile was so huge and pure that my cheeks felt as though they may tear through my skin. I rolled up my sleeve to gaze at the digets that had been inked on my skin.
555-8849
Those seven numbers held so much hope.
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