Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Babe I'll Be Your Outcast
Break Down These Walls
1 reviewGerard watched in amazement at how Frank could go from angry to loving so fast. He realized just how much he admired Frank. Just how strong Frank really was.
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Frank froze. His face twisted in confusion “Excuse me?”
The doctor’s face almost mirrored Frank’s with his own confusion. “I assume she didn’t tell you then”
Frank shook his head “No…she didn’t”
The doctor frowned “Well, she was about 3 weeks pregnate. We can’t say for sure right now if the baby survived or not. We will run further testing to be sure either way. I’ll leave you alone…”
Frank stood in shock at what he had just been told. He couldn’t believe it. What scared him more was he had never slept with Riley…..only Gerard…..3 weeks ago.
Gerard walked back into the hospital with his head higher than when he left. He didn’t have a smile on his face but he was in a slightly better mood. His near suicide and his ability to talk himself out of it had made him proud. The receptionist smiled at him as he walked passed her and into Riley’s room. Frank was sitting next to her, holding her hand. He was mumbling something that he couldn’t understand.
“Frank….Can I talk to you…..or…just have you listen?”
Frank didn’t move. He didn’t even acknowledge that Gerard was there. He decided to speak anyways.
“Look. I’m sorry. Your right, I of all people should have known what it was like. You and this band……they are the only reason I’m still breathing…..still fighting….Riley…she…she’s going to be ok. She won’t die……You won’t let her”
Gerard found that during speech, he was walked over to Frank and was now standing next to him.
Frank still hadn’t looked up but he spoke “She’s pregnant…or was….maybe still is…they don’t know yet” His words were choppy but his voice was surprisingly string and clear.
This time he did look up……right into Gerard’s eyes “Its yours”
Gerard didn’t know what to say. His mind raced to find an answer; A way to respond to Frank. He looked into Frank’s eyes and found an emotion he hadn’t expected to see. He saw so much sadness and sorrow in made Gerard’s heart wrench with guilt.
“Frank…I….” He gave up with words after that.
Frank stood up, looking at Riley one last time before walking to the door. Gerard had expected that but not what Frank did afterwards. “Come on…..lets get some coffee”
Gerard nodded, not daring to argue or refuse Frank right now. He stood up, looking at Riley then over at Frank.
“Someone should sit with her.”
Frank nodded “Mikey is on his way.”
Frank walked out of the doorway, not looking to see if Gerard was following. He was, of coarse. He watched the back of Frank’s converse as he walked, being careful not to follow to closely. They exited the hospital and walked across the street to a small coffee shop that sat on the corner.
When they entered, a young woman stood at the counter. Gerard instantly recognized her. It was the woman he had brought on stage to sing Helena with. He remembered that tattoo on her wrist. She smiled when she was them, walking over to give Gerard a hug.
“Hello again. 2?” Her voice was soft and happy.
Gerard nodded, trying to smile “Yeah.”
She frowned, clearly knowing something was wrong. When she sat them down, she turned to look at him with motherly eyes. “it may not be my place to ask but…..is everything ok?”
Gerard looked over at Frank who was looking at the window. “I don’t know”
The woman followed his gaze over to Frank. “May I?” She asked, motioning to the seat next to Frank.
Frank looked up, then over at Gerard in question. He didn’t remember her.
Gerard caught what he was saying. “She sung Helena with me at the last show.”
Frank looked up at her, taking in what she looked like and running it through in memory. When he remembered, his eyes lit up in remembrance. “Sure.”
She smiled and sat down next to him, trying not to crowd him. “You really don’t realize what you have done for me. What you have helped me do. When I stood on stage, I wasn’t singing to an audience, I was letting my daughter go. I was finally able to say goodbye.”
She paused for a moment, thinking about her next word choice. “Someone is in the hospital aren’t they?”
Gerard looked over at Frank, asking permission to tell her. Frank nodded then looked out the window again.
“You remember the girl that was with me last time…..”
The woman nodded before Gerard continued. “She was attacked. I fucked up and she was attacked.”
The woman’s eyes grew wide. “Oh my….I’m so sorry….Is there anything I can do?”
Gerard shook his head. “no….if there was anything to be done, it already has been.”
The woman nodded understanding. “If there is anything I can do, please let me know.”
Her boss walked over to them. His face was twisted with anger and he was glaring at her. He was a heavyset man, bald with an unshaved beard.
“Lucy! We need you in the kitchen.” His voice was rough but it was controlled. It was like he had to force the anger back.
She nodded, frowning at Gerard and Frank. “If you need anything, I’m here.”
After she had gone back into the kitchen, her boss looked at them. “I’m so sorry about her. She doesn’t know boundaries.”
Frank looked up at him and away from the window “She was just fine where she was. It was nice….”
Gerard nodded “With all due respect, she’s a lovely lady who has been through some tough shit. We were talking it out and I was enjoying her company……..Lord knows we haven’t had it in a while”
He looked at the table, trying to avoid the gaze of the manager. Frank held his eyes where they were, not once taking them of the man Gerard was trying to avoid.
The manager lowered his head “I’m sorry……I didn’t mean to upset you. I just….she has been known to annoy people.”
Frank sighed, “I don’t really see how.”
The manager nodded “Again I’m sorry……Drinks are on me”
He walked away with a scowl on his face. Lucy returned from the kitchen with 2 cups off coffee and placed them on the table.
Frank smiled “its ok, you know.”
She tilted her head confused “Excuse me?”
“To cry. You don’t have to hold your head high for us.”
She nodded sadly “I know……I just….”
Frank opened his arms and pulled her into a sitting embrace. She rested his head on her shoulder and cried. “I miss her so much……”
“Shhhh I know. She’s never gone….just out of sight”
Gerard watched in amazement at how Frank could go from angry to loving so fast. He realized just how much he admired Frank. Just how strong Frank really was.
Lucy sat up and wiped her eyes “Your coffee is getting cold”
“Put some ice in it. I’ll make it work” Frank grinned, making Lucy giggle.
She stood up, fixed her dress and smiled at Gerard. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk. Thank you…for everything”
Gerard smiled “No….thank you.”
Lucy nodded and walked away to go take care of other customers. When she was gone, Gerard turned to Frank. “So…..”
Frank sighed “I can’t be mad forever. If Riley…..dies and the band breaks up…I’ve got nothing. I’ve got no where to go, no job, no house, nothing. You fucked up Gerard….your really did. I don’t know if I can every really forgive you but I won’t continue to hate you for it.”
Gerard felt himself relax. “Thank you Frank……..”
Frank grew serious. “We need to talk about this baby.”
Gerard nodded and a knot formed in his stomach. “If it survives…..”
“If it survives, what are you going to do with it?”
“I don’t know……we can’t keep it….we don’t have the room, the time, the energy….shit we can’t raise a kid on tour”
“Your right, we can’t. What if Riley want to keep it?”
“She won’t”
“You don’t know that.”
They both sighed, knowing they were getting nowhere.
Frank sighed “Its all up to her…..”
Gerard nodded. “We should be getting back”
They stood up, leaving money on the table for Lucy and walked back to the hospital hoping to have an answer on the baby.
The doctor’s face almost mirrored Frank’s with his own confusion. “I assume she didn’t tell you then”
Frank shook his head “No…she didn’t”
The doctor frowned “Well, she was about 3 weeks pregnate. We can’t say for sure right now if the baby survived or not. We will run further testing to be sure either way. I’ll leave you alone…”
Frank stood in shock at what he had just been told. He couldn’t believe it. What scared him more was he had never slept with Riley…..only Gerard…..3 weeks ago.
Gerard walked back into the hospital with his head higher than when he left. He didn’t have a smile on his face but he was in a slightly better mood. His near suicide and his ability to talk himself out of it had made him proud. The receptionist smiled at him as he walked passed her and into Riley’s room. Frank was sitting next to her, holding her hand. He was mumbling something that he couldn’t understand.
“Frank….Can I talk to you…..or…just have you listen?”
Frank didn’t move. He didn’t even acknowledge that Gerard was there. He decided to speak anyways.
“Look. I’m sorry. Your right, I of all people should have known what it was like. You and this band……they are the only reason I’m still breathing…..still fighting….Riley…she…she’s going to be ok. She won’t die……You won’t let her”
Gerard found that during speech, he was walked over to Frank and was now standing next to him.
Frank still hadn’t looked up but he spoke “She’s pregnant…or was….maybe still is…they don’t know yet” His words were choppy but his voice was surprisingly string and clear.
This time he did look up……right into Gerard’s eyes “Its yours”
Gerard didn’t know what to say. His mind raced to find an answer; A way to respond to Frank. He looked into Frank’s eyes and found an emotion he hadn’t expected to see. He saw so much sadness and sorrow in made Gerard’s heart wrench with guilt.
“Frank…I….” He gave up with words after that.
Frank stood up, looking at Riley one last time before walking to the door. Gerard had expected that but not what Frank did afterwards. “Come on…..lets get some coffee”
Gerard nodded, not daring to argue or refuse Frank right now. He stood up, looking at Riley then over at Frank.
“Someone should sit with her.”
Frank nodded “Mikey is on his way.”
Frank walked out of the doorway, not looking to see if Gerard was following. He was, of coarse. He watched the back of Frank’s converse as he walked, being careful not to follow to closely. They exited the hospital and walked across the street to a small coffee shop that sat on the corner.
When they entered, a young woman stood at the counter. Gerard instantly recognized her. It was the woman he had brought on stage to sing Helena with. He remembered that tattoo on her wrist. She smiled when she was them, walking over to give Gerard a hug.
“Hello again. 2?” Her voice was soft and happy.
Gerard nodded, trying to smile “Yeah.”
She frowned, clearly knowing something was wrong. When she sat them down, she turned to look at him with motherly eyes. “it may not be my place to ask but…..is everything ok?”
Gerard looked over at Frank who was looking at the window. “I don’t know”
The woman followed his gaze over to Frank. “May I?” She asked, motioning to the seat next to Frank.
Frank looked up, then over at Gerard in question. He didn’t remember her.
Gerard caught what he was saying. “She sung Helena with me at the last show.”
Frank looked up at her, taking in what she looked like and running it through in memory. When he remembered, his eyes lit up in remembrance. “Sure.”
She smiled and sat down next to him, trying not to crowd him. “You really don’t realize what you have done for me. What you have helped me do. When I stood on stage, I wasn’t singing to an audience, I was letting my daughter go. I was finally able to say goodbye.”
She paused for a moment, thinking about her next word choice. “Someone is in the hospital aren’t they?”
Gerard looked over at Frank, asking permission to tell her. Frank nodded then looked out the window again.
“You remember the girl that was with me last time…..”
The woman nodded before Gerard continued. “She was attacked. I fucked up and she was attacked.”
The woman’s eyes grew wide. “Oh my….I’m so sorry….Is there anything I can do?”
Gerard shook his head. “no….if there was anything to be done, it already has been.”
The woman nodded understanding. “If there is anything I can do, please let me know.”
Her boss walked over to them. His face was twisted with anger and he was glaring at her. He was a heavyset man, bald with an unshaved beard.
“Lucy! We need you in the kitchen.” His voice was rough but it was controlled. It was like he had to force the anger back.
She nodded, frowning at Gerard and Frank. “If you need anything, I’m here.”
After she had gone back into the kitchen, her boss looked at them. “I’m so sorry about her. She doesn’t know boundaries.”
Frank looked up at him and away from the window “She was just fine where she was. It was nice….”
Gerard nodded “With all due respect, she’s a lovely lady who has been through some tough shit. We were talking it out and I was enjoying her company……..Lord knows we haven’t had it in a while”
He looked at the table, trying to avoid the gaze of the manager. Frank held his eyes where they were, not once taking them of the man Gerard was trying to avoid.
The manager lowered his head “I’m sorry……I didn’t mean to upset you. I just….she has been known to annoy people.”
Frank sighed, “I don’t really see how.”
The manager nodded “Again I’m sorry……Drinks are on me”
He walked away with a scowl on his face. Lucy returned from the kitchen with 2 cups off coffee and placed them on the table.
Frank smiled “its ok, you know.”
She tilted her head confused “Excuse me?”
“To cry. You don’t have to hold your head high for us.”
She nodded sadly “I know……I just….”
Frank opened his arms and pulled her into a sitting embrace. She rested his head on her shoulder and cried. “I miss her so much……”
“Shhhh I know. She’s never gone….just out of sight”
Gerard watched in amazement at how Frank could go from angry to loving so fast. He realized just how much he admired Frank. Just how strong Frank really was.
Lucy sat up and wiped her eyes “Your coffee is getting cold”
“Put some ice in it. I’ll make it work” Frank grinned, making Lucy giggle.
She stood up, fixed her dress and smiled at Gerard. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk. Thank you…for everything”
Gerard smiled “No….thank you.”
Lucy nodded and walked away to go take care of other customers. When she was gone, Gerard turned to Frank. “So…..”
Frank sighed “I can’t be mad forever. If Riley…..dies and the band breaks up…I’ve got nothing. I’ve got no where to go, no job, no house, nothing. You fucked up Gerard….your really did. I don’t know if I can every really forgive you but I won’t continue to hate you for it.”
Gerard felt himself relax. “Thank you Frank……..”
Frank grew serious. “We need to talk about this baby.”
Gerard nodded and a knot formed in his stomach. “If it survives…..”
“If it survives, what are you going to do with it?”
“I don’t know……we can’t keep it….we don’t have the room, the time, the energy….shit we can’t raise a kid on tour”
“Your right, we can’t. What if Riley want to keep it?”
“She won’t”
“You don’t know that.”
They both sighed, knowing they were getting nowhere.
Frank sighed “Its all up to her…..”
Gerard nodded. “We should be getting back”
They stood up, leaving money on the table for Lucy and walked back to the hospital hoping to have an answer on the baby.
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