FicWad

Frank and Gerard walked back to the hospital in silence. Neither one of them knew what to say, which was a first. They had always been able to talk to each other no matter what was going on. Sometimes it seemed like the ‘Ferard’ on stage was more then an act. The hospital reeked of sanitization and it burned Frank’s nose. Mikey was sitting outside the room with his head in his hands. He knew Riley was pregnant. He was the first one Frank had told.

Mikey heard them coming and stood up quickly, trying to hide the tears. He failed however and Gerard saw the glimmering objects in his eyes.

“Mikey, what happened?” Gerard’s voice was full of concern.

Mikey shook his head, looking at Frank. “Don’t go in there……please”

Frank stopped, his hand resting on the doorknob. “Why…..”

Mikey closed his eyes, looking away “because she’s not there”

Frank froze. His whole body going rigged. “Where is she…..”

Mikey stayed silent. Frank let go of the door and walked over to him, tears in his eyes. “Mikey….please….where is Riley?”

Mikey choked back a sob, burring his face in his brother’s chest. He couldn’t tell Frank. He couldn’t be that person. Frank knew what had happened, he knew why Riley wasn’t in the room but his mind wouldn’t let him accept it. He refused to accept it.

“She can’t……she isn’t….she…..” Frank whispered, trying to form a sentence. His eyes glanced at the door, praying it was all a dream. That this was just some seriously fucked up nightmare and he was going to wake up, holding Riley in his arms and everything was going to be ok. All he wanted was to wake up with her wrapped around his body. To see her beautiful eyes smiling at him as her black hair fell in her face, making her toss her head to the side in an attempt to remove it. She would giggle and he would laugh at her. He knew it was a lie, that this wasn’t a dream but he wanted it to be so fucking bad.

Gerard stood, holding his younger brother in shock. He hadn’t seem Mikey cry like this since their grandmother died. He hadn’t clung to him like this since he was 12. All he could do was hold him close and burry his face in the top of his brown hair.

“Mikey….shhhh” He looked up at Frank, not sure how he was taking it. He was just standing there, his arms at his sides, staring at the door. He reminded Gerard of a child who was standing in front his closet, trying to work up the courage to fight the monster inside.

The doctor walked up next to them, pulling all of them out of their daze. He looked at Frank with sad eyes. “May I speak to you alone for a moment?”

Frank shook his head defiantly. “I’ll just tell them anyways. Make it easy and tell us all.” His voice was harsh and angry.

The doctor nodded sadly, “I’m afraid Ms. Frezuno didn’t pull through like we thought she would…..there was….a complication with her heart.….there was nothing we could do….i’m sorry”

The tears Frank had been holding in finally slipped as he fell to the floor, clutching his hair. He couldn’t stop crying and he really didn’t want to. His body shook as his fingers brought blood to his scalp. They scraped and pulled at the skin, digging in to anything that would give. His face was twisted in agony and he wanted nothing more than to disappear.

The sky was dark and the wind blew softly at Gerard’s hair. His eyes were fixed on the casket being lowered into the ground. His heart ached and his face was stained with tears. Frank hadn’t said a word since the hospital. He never looked at anyone and if he did, it was a glance or a glare. He had become so bitter towards the world. Gerard knew it was his fault. It was always his fault he just could never admit it until now. Mike stood next to him, his black jacket was slightly faded but he had done his best to look nice. He had even taken his glasses off and replaced them with contacts.
Gerard had just decided to wear his “Revenge” attire. Black suite and red tie. Frank and Ray did the same. For the most part, he found that everyone looked as if they were back on the set of Helena.
A set…..wouldn’t that be nice. If Riley would only stand up and dance. Mark Webb would call cut and they would laugh about how Frank wanted to be in the coffin with her.
Gerard supposed Frank still wanted to be in the coffin but not as a joke this time.

“Gerard…..” Mikey whispered.

Gerard could tell Mikey had been crying by the way he spoke. It was a funeral after all. “Mikey…”

Mikey looked up at Gerard with tears in his eyes “What’s going to happen to us?”

Gerard looked down at the floor, not really sure himself.

“I don’t know…..” His eyes still fixed on the ground.

“We won’t last….We are falling apart.” Mikey’s voice was a whisper and his eyes begun to tear again.

Gerard moved so he was in front of his brother, his back to the casket. He slowly took Mikey’s face in his hands.

“Mikey….My Chemical Romance will NOT fall apart.”

“How do you know Gee? How can you say that?”

Gerard smiled “We have too many people to save”