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"Thanks," Kyo said quietly, taking the mug that was offered to him. "Sorry that I'm getting your couch all wet," he mumbled before taking a sip of the hot tea.

Toshiya waved his hand in a dismissive manner, "It'll dry." He dropped into a chair, holding a mug of his own. "You know," he started. "None of us would be happy if you got sick and died," He took a sip from his mug. "Not happy at all."

Kyo stared into the steaming drink, a deep frown creasing his face, "I don't know . . . Maybe the others would be happy."

"Shinya would be torn up inside," the younger man looked over at him, frowning. "And you know it. He'd blame himself and would never forgive himself, Kyo."

He laughed, "Who said I was talking about Shinya? Maybe I meant ---"

"We all know, Kyo," Toshiya ran a finger around the lip of his mug. "You knew he'd tell Die, and Die can't keep his mouth shut when he's drunk."

Kyo's frown deepened, "Yeah, well, how do you know if he'd care or not?" He snapped. "He's the one who left me, so that shows that I didn't mean shit to him."

He frowned, "You meant something to him," he said quietly. "If you didn't, he wouldn't have chosen you as his shoulder to cry on."

"I was the closest, easiest thing he could get his hands on," Kyo took another drink from the cooling liquid. "I was nothing but a free ride, and a whore to him."

"Are you even listening to yourself when you talk?" Toshiya set his cup down on the table. "You aren't a whore, and that sure as hell isn't the reason he went to you."

The blonde sighed, setting the mug down, and put his head in his hands. "Then why'd he leave?" His voice shook slightly. "Die wouldn't change. They'll fight, break up, and get back together," Kyo shook his head, a quiet laugh escaping him. "If he's patient enough to deal with that, then why wouldn't he give me a chance to change for him?"

"You weren't meant for each other. That's why he left," he murmured. "Fate didn't ---"

"Don't start that, 'It wasn't in the stars,' shit with me, "Kyo said into his hands. "The stars don't rule people, Toshiya, looks do," he wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "And, let's face it, compared to Die I'm not pleasing to the eye."

Toshiya sighed and shook his head, "There's no getting through to you, is there?" Kyo shook his head. He sighed again, and moved in front of him, "Look at me." He glanced up at him before looking back at the floor. "I meant 'keep eye contact, '" Toshiya told him, but Kyo didn't look up. "Fine," he rested his hands lightly on Kyo's knees and offered a small smile. "Just because Shinya left you doesn't mean he did it because of your looks," he explained. "Hell, I don't know why he did at all, but he did and you can't change that."

Kyo muttered something under his breath, but Toshiya ignored it and went on, "No one can, so don't beat yourself up while trying to figure out why and move on. There are other fish in the sea, Kyo, you just need to look."

The older man looked up at him, keeping eye contact for a moment, before he completely broke down, "I don't know what to do, Totch." He put his head back in his hands. "I mean, I feel used! Yeah, I figured he'd go back to him, but I thought he'd at least treat me like something more than a friend after what happened! I thought that'd make us closer, but it didn't!"

Toshiya moved next to him on the couch, and pulled him into a hug. "Shh," he stroked his hair gently as he held him. "Shh.. It'll be all right, Kyo," Toshiya rested his chin on his head while Kyo cried into his hands. "It'll be all right.."

...

On. Off. On. Off.

The flame flickered, then disappeared when the cap of the lighter flipped back over it. On and off. It was hypnotizing.

Kyo's dark eyes watched with dull fascination, while Toshiya spoke with Kaoru down the hall. They were talking about him, he could feel that they were . . . The room was to tense for it to be about anything else. It was all because of last night . . . Figured, the one time he decided to express emotion, other than anger, about someone it raised flags and set alarms off.

"It's tearing him up, Kao," Toshiya whispered, glancing back at Kyo. "You should have seen him last night . . . "

Kaoru looked back at Toshiya, frowning, "It couldn't be hurting him that badly . . . He had to know Shin would go back."

"He did," he sighed. "But he didn't think Shinya would treat the way he did before."

The blonde-haired man nodded slowly, "I guess that would cause some depression and confusion," he said. "But not as much as he showed you." Kaoru sighed, "I mean, he didn't show that much anguish over any girl he was with."

"Yes, but this was Shinya," he said quietly. "not just some girl."

Kaoru sighed again, running a hand through his hair, "Yeah, but he knows that no matter how many times they break up they'll just get back together.."

Toshiya frowned, "He knows that, but he figured he'd at least-"

"Are you two done talking?" Kyo asked, his usual scowl present on his face. "The two lovers are here, and they're getting rather nauseating."

"Kyo," Die called from the other room, his voice holding an annoyed tone. "Why do you have to be such an ass?"

The younger blonde man looked over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing slightly, but he bit his tongue. There was no point in shooting back an insult that would escalate into an argument that would have Kaoru screaming at both of them.

"Not everyone wants to watch you two make-out, Die," Kaoru called to the other guitarist as he slid his hands in pockets.

Kyo looked back at him and laughed softly, "Don't reprimand them on my behalf, Kaoru. You know you don't mind." With that said, the vocalist turned and wandered back down the hall before Kaoru had a chance to respond.

Toshiya chewed on his bottom lip as he watched Kyo fall back on the couch, "I'm worried about him, Kao..."

"So am I, Totchi," Kaoru said quietly. "So am I."

..