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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

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• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) aredphxbird2 2011-09-19

  Good story so,Looking forward to seeing what Sirus and Harry do to mess with Dumbledore and Voldemort.I also want to see how your going to bring Hermoine back into the fold.Keep the good work.

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) Cateagle 2011-09-19

  Okay, this is getting quite interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing where matters go from here. Methinks Hermione is going to come to regret paying so much attention to what Albus told her (I have to wonder just how much of the current mess in wizarding Britain is due to his manipulations). 'Twill be fascinating to see if Hermione ends up isolating herself or comes to see reality and returns to join her friends.

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) ROBERT_1958 2011-09-23

  If Harry wants to get rid of anyone, all he has to do is stun them and push them down the whole to The Chamber of Secrets & while they are going down the whole Harry says "/STAIRS/", then CRUNCH, they are NO More!

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) dhampirkinfolk 2011-10-16

  http://webs.anokaramsey.edu/wrobel/1121/Course%20Materials/Exercises/basic_dialogue_format_for_narrat.htm
  
  Please, for the love of all that is holy, learn to write a paragraph. Learn how to write dialogue. Learn some basic rules of written English. THEN go back and try to fix this nightmare.

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) Ashestoashes 2013-09-26

  While better written, and in the Hermione scene even being somewhat original, believable and perhaps even a bit moving, this chapter still jumps everywhere with insufficient background and fleshing-out of the little fragments and story ideas you put together. The other original points you added were lost causes because of a lack of story flesh.
  
  It's better, but I can't call it a coherent story.
  
  (And btw, the later chapters being better is not an excuse for the first chapter. The first chapter is the first impression you make on the readers of your story. It also puts them in a better and more forgiving mood if they read on. It's in your own benefit to have a first chapter that represents the quality of the rest of the story.)

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) fanficboy 2013-09-30

  your time jumping makes this story unreadable. just trying to read the first chapter makes my head spin. did not try for the second chap.
  
  if you put your first time jump chapter in 3 real chapters, your story could become a good one. right now, it is a *@'#
  
  my 2 cent

• Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts

  (#) TxA_GunFighter 2014-03-26

  Good start and good story so far.
  
  gunny

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