FicWad

Gerard’s POV

I walked out of the room with Danni and we started to head back to Ashley’s room. But, I changed my mind.

“I’m gonna go find your sister,” I told Danni.

“Are you sure?” she asked me. I nodded and walked down the hall and down the stairs. I figured she might have gone outside, so I went out the doors. I looked around and I finally saw her. I started to walk to her, but then I saw what she was doing. I watched her from the shadows as she lit up a cigarette. I couldn’t believe my eyes; she was more like me than I imagined.

Suddenly feeling the urge, I lit one up myself. I watched Nikki sit down against the side of the building. I walked closer to her, but not too close. I stood there for a couple of minutes. I had a feeling that she knew I was there, but she didn’t pay any attention to me. I moved in closer, and sat down beside her.

“Nik, I think we should talk,” I said. She sighed and turned and faced me.

“About what exactly?”

“Everything…” I said.

“Well, what if I’m tired of talking? What if I don’t want to talk anymore?” I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“I’m tired of just talking too. And I’m tired of all this fighting. I just want you to realize that there’s nothing in this world that I love more than you and your sister. I’d do anything for you. I’d give up everything to be with you.” I said. I heard her sigh.

“Dad, why do you always say that? I really want to believe you, but with you being gone all those years… It’s just really hard. I have what mom says, and then I have what you say. I’m just so confused right now.”

“What happened to you Nik? I mean, you loved me more than anything. We’d spend all day together just playing around. And now? It seems like, I’m an old toy of yours, and you just threw me under your bed. Never wanting to talk or see me again.”

“I was young then. I got older. Times changed dad,” she said.

“You know, it feels really good to hear you call me dad again.” She just chuckled.

“Yippee for you. I’m glad you’re enjoying life so much.”

“Okay. Why do you always have to do that?”

“Because…” she paused, “Because I really hate that you can sit there and pretend that you care about me. How could you?” I shook my head and stood up.

“God, Nikki! Can’t you get it through your head? It’s not me who doesn’t care about you, it’s your mom! She doesn’t give a fuck about you two! Do you want to know what she said to me when Danni wanted to go home with me at the mall? ‘I never wanted her anyway.’ That’s what she said. If she doesn’t want Danni, what makes you think she’ll want you either? She just doesn’t want me to have you.” Nikki stood up and stuck her finger in my face.


“Damn it, why do you always have to blame mom? I love mom, not you.” I could see the tears building in her eyes as she yelled at me.

“Really? Then why are you crying right now?” I said, stating the obvious.

“Because you’re yelling at me, that’s why!” I watched as her tears fall harder and harder. She turned away from me.

“I don’t appreciate being yelled at all the time.” She walked a few feet away from me. I heard her mumble, ‘Why isn’t she here yet? She said she’d be here…’

“Nik, I could give you a ride home, if that’s where you really want to go.” I said to her. She turned to face me.

“I don’t want a ride from you. Plus, she said she’d be here.”

“At what time?” I asked.

“She said in the next fifteen minutes, and it’s been almost a half an hour,” she told me. I sighed.

“You know she’s not gonna show, right?” Once again, stating the obvious. She sighed and sat down once again, not saying a single word. I wonder if I was getting through to her. Probably not…

I sighed and walked over to the bench on the sidewalk. I sat down and watched the cars go by.

“Why don’t you go inside and check on your precious little Danni? She’s probably wondering where her father is. She probably thinks you’re dead. Which in my book, you are, so…”

“That’s not surprising,” I said, looking back at her.

She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“There’s a big surprise.” I laughed when she didn’t say anything.

“So childlike of you, the silent game!”

“Because I am a child. A fucked up child that doesn’t have a father, but does have a fucked up mother.”

“You know, that’s not hard to fix,” I said.

“That’s easy for you to say. You know mom would kill you before she let me go.”

“Yea, to me. She doesn’t give a fuck if you joined the circus!”

*

Two hours later, we’re still sitting outside, waiting on Amy to get here. Nik still hasn’t said a word or moved from where she was. I kept asking her if I could just drive her home, but I got the same response over and over; silence.

I looked over and I saw that Nik was shivering and she had her arms wrapped around herself. I got up and walked over to her. I took my jacket off and I put it around her. She looked up at me and smiled.

“Thanks,” she said. I was shocked by her reaction. I figured she’d throw my jacket back at me.

I took a few steps and then turned around. I sat back down beside her.

“She’s not gonna show is she?” she asked me. I sighed and shook my head.

“That’s what I thought. She always does this to me. She says one thing and then nothing.” She shook her head and put her head in her hands. I resisted at first, but I put my arm around her. I thought she would try to shrug it off, but she didn’t do anything.

“Nik, how about you let me take you home?” I asked her, hoping that she would say yes this time.

She nodded, “Yea, you probably should.” I stood up and helped her up. I called Frank to tell him what was going on, and we made our way to the car.