FicWad

This is rather rushed and I'm not too fond of it:/ meh, it'll have to do seeing as i don't know when i'll be able to update again and i didn't want to leave you guys thinking i abandoned you. (if anyone is reading this at all, which i highly doubtxD)

so sorry in advance for my likely to happen disappearance for...i dunno; until things get normal again.

hope this is at least a tad enjoyable:) (means it doesn't burn your eyes out while reading:D)

I'LL MOST LIKELY DELETE THIS CHAPTER AS SOON AS I HAVE THE TIME TO PROPERLY WORK ON THIS.

so long, katie xoxo

Blank.

Sheer nothingness.

Shrouded black clouds were circling my mind, their thick bulgy presence like bloated corpses hindering the tiniest bit of information from breaking through.
No spark, no glimmer, no nothing to enlighten the inner walls of my skull. My whole mind was left in a daze, somewhere deep in oblivion, like I was walking on a fluffy white line of cotton, a field of forgotten memories unfolding itself in front of my eyes, slowly fading and becoming one with the horizon, with tiny pieces catching my eye, like a pair of eyes here or a phrase there, but it couldn't be put together. They were just tiny debris of a forgotten past, disjointed snippets. They made no sense, showed no signs of resemblance at all.

I tried to recall names, people, family, friends, anything but nothing came out of it.

Everything was gone.

Maybe I was lucky not to be aware of the past's events, not to remember what drama's taken place in my life, what misery it must have been.

Every time I try to think about it I get this strong vibe. This instinct telling me to stay away from it. That it's no good. It's shaking me to the ground, making my bones chill and my insides churn and jolt in fear.

That's the reason I know it had been torture living before and the reason I'm kind of relived I'm currently unaware of my past.

But then again, how could you be happy when you're standing, on white cotton flooring surrounded by blurry pictures and voices mingling together in your head like a fucking Bolognese, opposite an invisible but very decrepit brick wall, barely restricting your whole memories, some funny and lovely, some horrendous and gruesome or simply just heartbreaking- you don't know- and some you wish to never ever face again and keep the fuck locked up in the farthest back corner of your head, ready to collapse on top of you at any minute, burying you underneath its detrital and ashes .

Nice vision eh?

You don't know when or if it's going to happen, but you can never let your guard down.
You need to constantly be prepared.

Do you really want to live like that?

Hiding away from your problems instead of facing them?

But what was I supposed to do when I didn't know my problems, didn't know what I was hiding from.

I just knew I was hiding, and I couldn't stay this way.

I needed to get away. Fast.

I know it seems like there is no progress at all, but this story is meant to be that way.
it's mainly inner thoughts and barely action for a prolonged time, but when we get faaaaar into the story, there will be some action, promise;)

see you again when my ma's out of hospital and fully recovered from her operation. until then i'll have to take care of her...

xoxo k