FicWad

“I don’t know,” Brendon sighed, giving up. He’d been staring at the lyrics for hours, trying to process them, elaborate on them, just like Ryan had asked him to. They were good, but vague. More vague than what he usually wrote, and those were hard enough to understand in themselves. The notebook fell onto his lap as he rubbed his stinging eyes.
“What don’t you know?” Ryan asked, hoping for some clarity. The lyrics were okay in his opinion, but he knew they lacked something. That’s normally where Brendon swooped in and saved the day. Well, apparently not that day.
“I just don’t know. I mean, they’re good-“
“But they’re not right,” Ryan nodded, disappointed in his work. Writing lyrics was always so natural to him, but lately every word fell flat. And to make everything even more frustrating, he couldn’t figure out why. Brendon passed back the notebook with a shrug.
“Just give it some time. We’re in no rush,” he smiled, placing his hand on Ryan’s thigh and squeezing.
“We can’t wait as long as we did last time,” Ryan stared down at the notebook, filled with lyrics that lacked all emotion. Talk about frustrating… He could write a song about writers block. He had plenty of ammunition for that.
“It won’t be as long. We’ll figure it out,” Brendon comforted as he always did when Ryan got frustrated with himself. His genius, beautiful, over-sensitive boyfriend always gave him a reason to be optimistic. He had to be, otherwise they’d both go insane.
“I hope so.” Ryan couldn’t pry his eyes from the notebook, and Brendon would have none of that. He slapped the pages off of Ryan’s lap and onto the floor. Ryan glanced up at him with confusion, as Brendon straddled him, and placed both hands on either side of his face. Ryan couldn’t help but sigh at Brendon’s ridiculousness, he thought he was the solution to all of Ryan’s problems.
And push comes to shove, that was pretty much true.
“Hey,” Brendon smiled a big, adorable grin. Ryan rolled his eyes, but smiled in automatic response.
“Hey.”
“You know I love you, right?”
Ryan’s cheeks flushed, “Yes.”
“And you know that no matter what I’m always going to love you, right?” Brendon raised his eyebrows. Ryan looked down at his hands resting on Brendon’s thighs. It didn’t matter that they had been together for years, totally in love, and not ashamed of it. Something about Brendon saying exactly how he felt out loud, turned Ryan into a shy little school girl. He could feel the heat radiating in his cheeks, and bit down on his lip.
“Hey,” Brendon put his hand under Ryan’s chin and tilted his head upwards, “You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Ryan couldn’t help but smile.
“Good. Well then know that no matter how long it takes, or how many notebooks you go through, or how many lyrics you write, I’m still going to love you. You always have me if you’re feeling unsettled about writing. I’ll always be on your side. No matter what.” Brendon looked into Ryan’s eyes as he spoke, making sure he heard every word he had said.
Ryan nodded slightly, feeling silly for ever doubting his relationship with Brendon. Even if that was years ago…
Brendon leaned in and pressed his lips to Ryan’s. The touch was warm, soft, and all around perfect.
“You know I love you too, right?” Ryan asked before kissing him again, “So much that it’s probably unhealthy.”
“I had a hunch, but you can just never know for sure,” Brendon joked, a playful smirk on his face. Ryan shook his head and pressed his lips back to Brendon’s with more force. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him in closer.
All this writing business would clear itself up. As long as he had Brendon, he didn’t care how long it took.
“Good morning to you guys too.” Jon’s voice forced their lips apart, but Brendon didn’t stop long, relocating his lips to Ryan’s jawline and neck.
“Hey, tell me what you think of these,” Ryan said, kicking the notebook across the bus over to Jon’s feet. Jon picked it up, always happy when Ryan wanted to share his work with him. He never showed it to anyone but Brendon.
Suddenly, Brendon was pushing back on Ryan, tilting them sideways onto the couch. He continued to kiss Ryan all over, not caring that Jon was in the room.
“Jeez, Bren, keep your pants on.” Ryan joked, placing another kiss on Brendon’s lips.
“I don’t wanna,” Brendon mock whined, pulling on Ryan’s belt loop.
“I’ll just go look at these.” Jon dismissed himself, trying not to watch the display in front of him, as he turned and walked back to his bunk. One would think that he’d be used to them by now, Brendon and Ryan. After all what happened between Ryan and Jon was years ago, and he and Brendon had put their unfortunate past behind them.
But part of him couldn’t help hoping. And he knew Brendon could tell. In fact, He was pretty sure Brendon did all that PDA stuff on purpose. It was his way of saying ‘Haha, I won, and you can’t have him.’ But Jon still held onto one fleeting hope.
The music.
The band was losing the music, and if there was one thing that he and Ryan agreed on, it was what the new stuff should sound like. Here they were, still touring on Pretty. Odd., reaping the benefits of an album that was almost painful to write. The process has been slow, and beyond stressful, pushing their friendships to new limits.
They wouldn’t survive that again. Jon knew that for sure. And no matter what Ryan’s opinion was, Jon would side with him. Jon would always put himself on Ryan’s side. That was his plan.
He read over the lyrics, scribbled in Ryan’s handwriting, as he climbed back into his bunk.
She was acting pretty, thought she owned the city, someone should have told her that pretty ain’t a job.
Jon laughed to himself, that sounds like Brendon.
He continued to read the page, trying to absorb Ryan’s work. It wasn’t spectacular, but if Ryan liked it, then he would too.