Categories > Celebrities > AFI > One False Move.
Chapter 5
The Monster Inside of Me
“Davey? Davey wake up!”
I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying back in Jessica's room. I was stiff, rigid and hurting all over.
“Aarrhh” I groaned, “it feels like I got run over by a freight train.”
A feminine voice giggled near by. As I slowly opened my eyes, I felt a wet cloth being placed onto my forehead. I saw Jessica, sitting next to me and looking as beautiful as ever, even though her face was stricken with worry.
“What happened last night?” she asked me, cleaning my face of all traces of blood and dirt, “I was so scared and worried when the police brought you here.”
I told her all of what I could remember about last night. Although Jessica was upset that I was beaten up like a punching-bag, she seemed more disappointed that I had tried to drink my problems away in the first place.
“Davey, promise me that you won't try and drink 'til you pass out again! Promise me.”
“Okay, I promise Jessica.”
… If you ask anyone, I've never been good at keeping promises.
It was less than 5 days after I got the shit kicked out of me that I was back at the pub. Again I drank until I could hardly tell up from down. Although this time I was careful to keep away from big groups of men that had knuckles the size of small boulders. I was also careful to try and sober up enough so that Jessica couldn't tell that I had been drinking on my “Figure out what to do with my life and not fuck it up again” walks.
I had been on one of my walks, when I yet again, entered the pub. The barman seemed to have something else on his mind that day, as he took my order. Anyways, when I got my 'Silver Bullet' it seemed … different somehow, but still I drowned it in one go. An hour and a half later, I had a small mountain of empty glasses covering the bar. “Okay, something was definitely wrong with those drinks.” I thought as I stumbled all the way to the bathroom and missed the urinal by about 5 inches. I splashed water on my face, trying to sober up enough so Jessica wouldn't suspect. As I crawled out of the bathroom and back into the bar, hardly being able to stand up, I realized that the barman must have put to much vodka in my drink. No wonder I felt so pissed ... and then I heard it. That guitar rift, that drum solo, the bass guitar keeping the beat nicely in the background and then my voice. AFI was playing loudly on the pub jukebox. I wasn't able to find the asshole who put on the song because I had already ran out the door, trying to keep my emotions under control.
I didn't feel sad or upset as I stumbled my way back to Jessica's house. What I did feel was anger. A rage so strong I wanted to punch someone into the pavement at my feet. “Those fuckin' bastards.” I thought as I slowly ambled along, “I bet they're having the best time of their fucking lives without me!!
“Probably picking up girls left, right and center. They probably have enough groupies for the next 5 fucking YEARS!!”
“I HOPE YOU'RE BLOODY HAPPY NOW JADE!” I yelled to the silent night sky. I didn't want to do anything else except hold Jessica close to me and let my emotions slip away.
When I got back to Jessica's house, I opened the door without knocking. “JESSICA! Where are yyoouu?” I yelled into the apparently empty house, calling for her like two children playing hide-and-seek.
“I'm in here Davey. What's going on?” she called from the bedroom. I sped into the room and closed the door behind me. As soon as I heard the door click closed I embraced her, both of us falling back onto the bed. With me trying to kiss every part of her body that I could reach.
“Davey? Davey what are you doing?” Jessica asked me as I tried to strip her of the clothes that she wore. “Davey stop it! Stop it, you're hurting me!” she cried.
“Jessica, I want to make love to you.” I whispered into her ear as I tried to undo my belt buckle. She started to squirm and wriggle out from beneath my body. But I was strong and slid my hands under her waist, picking her up and pinning her against the opposite wall. I kissed her mouth, neck, collarbone. All the time she tried to wriggle out of my grip.
“What's the matter babe?” I asked her when she continued to squirm.
“Davey, I don't want to. Please, just let go!” Jessica pleaded with me. As I looked down into her eyes, I could see that she was crying. “Why was she crying?” I thought as I tried to restrain her. “Why should she be crying? I'm the one with the shit life! Not her. She has no right to be upset.” The anger that was building up inside of me must have been showing on my face because then Jessica seemed extremely frightened.
The look of fear in her eyes seemed to give me the feeling of power. “Get on the bed.” I told her with an all to calm voice.
“No, I … I ddon't … Davey what is going on with you?! Have you been drinking?” Jessica seemed to have gotten some of her fire back. I didn't, couldn't answer her, so I simply stared down into her eyes.
“You have been drinking haven't you? Shit Davey! I thought we had a deal? I thought you promised me that you would stop!” That same fear coming back into her eyes as the same feeling of power came over me.
“Get on the bed.” I told her again with the same all to calm voice. She didn't move. “I SAID GET ON THE FUCKING BED!” I roared at her, hitting her across the face. As she looked back at me, tears in her eyes and a red hand mark appearing on her face, she made a run for it.
Out the bedroom door Jessica flew and down the corridor. But I was quicker and caught up with her as her hand just reached for the door knob of the front door. Slowly she turned around. Her eyes were red from crying and half her face was also red from where I had hit her. I didn't feel sorry, I didn't feel scared of what was going to happen next. All I knew was that I wanted her.
I ran at Jessica, pulled her down and pinned her to the ground. I tried to kiss her again but this time she bit me on the arm. Bit me! I couldn't believe it! The anger growing stronger and stronger inside of me that I thought my head might explode. I drew my hand back, clenched it into a fist and brought it down towards her face. I heard her scream. I was seconds away from shattering her face when I stopped. I steered my hand away from her face and punched the wall next to us, making an impressive hole.
I couldn't believe what I was about to do! I couldn't believe that I was going to hurt Jessica!
“What's wrong with me?” I whispered, looking down at her, now I was the one that felt fearful. She didn't say a word, nor did she move a muscle. All she did was stare into my eyes, her lip trembling, threatening to cry again. I stood up. Opened the front door and walked out onto the porch. I turned back around to the house, Jessica had brought herself into a sitting position. Her knees under her chin and arms wrapped around her legs.
“I won't hurt you any more.” I said to her, my voice barely audible.
I took my phone out of my pocket and rang a cab. I don't think putting myself behind the wheel would be such a good idea tonight.
When the cab arrived I got in and told the cabbie to take me to the hotel that I stayed at with AFI. I don't know why, but that seemed like the right place to go, and I went. I went out of Jessica's life hopefully, for her sake, forever.
The Monster Inside of Me
“Davey? Davey wake up!”
I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying back in Jessica's room. I was stiff, rigid and hurting all over.
“Aarrhh” I groaned, “it feels like I got run over by a freight train.”
A feminine voice giggled near by. As I slowly opened my eyes, I felt a wet cloth being placed onto my forehead. I saw Jessica, sitting next to me and looking as beautiful as ever, even though her face was stricken with worry.
“What happened last night?” she asked me, cleaning my face of all traces of blood and dirt, “I was so scared and worried when the police brought you here.”
I told her all of what I could remember about last night. Although Jessica was upset that I was beaten up like a punching-bag, she seemed more disappointed that I had tried to drink my problems away in the first place.
“Davey, promise me that you won't try and drink 'til you pass out again! Promise me.”
“Okay, I promise Jessica.”
… If you ask anyone, I've never been good at keeping promises.
It was less than 5 days after I got the shit kicked out of me that I was back at the pub. Again I drank until I could hardly tell up from down. Although this time I was careful to keep away from big groups of men that had knuckles the size of small boulders. I was also careful to try and sober up enough so that Jessica couldn't tell that I had been drinking on my “Figure out what to do with my life and not fuck it up again” walks.
I had been on one of my walks, when I yet again, entered the pub. The barman seemed to have something else on his mind that day, as he took my order. Anyways, when I got my 'Silver Bullet' it seemed … different somehow, but still I drowned it in one go. An hour and a half later, I had a small mountain of empty glasses covering the bar. “Okay, something was definitely wrong with those drinks.” I thought as I stumbled all the way to the bathroom and missed the urinal by about 5 inches. I splashed water on my face, trying to sober up enough so Jessica wouldn't suspect. As I crawled out of the bathroom and back into the bar, hardly being able to stand up, I realized that the barman must have put to much vodka in my drink. No wonder I felt so pissed ... and then I heard it. That guitar rift, that drum solo, the bass guitar keeping the beat nicely in the background and then my voice. AFI was playing loudly on the pub jukebox. I wasn't able to find the asshole who put on the song because I had already ran out the door, trying to keep my emotions under control.
I didn't feel sad or upset as I stumbled my way back to Jessica's house. What I did feel was anger. A rage so strong I wanted to punch someone into the pavement at my feet. “Those fuckin' bastards.” I thought as I slowly ambled along, “I bet they're having the best time of their fucking lives without me!!
“Probably picking up girls left, right and center. They probably have enough groupies for the next 5 fucking YEARS!!”
“I HOPE YOU'RE BLOODY HAPPY NOW JADE!” I yelled to the silent night sky. I didn't want to do anything else except hold Jessica close to me and let my emotions slip away.
When I got back to Jessica's house, I opened the door without knocking. “JESSICA! Where are yyoouu?” I yelled into the apparently empty house, calling for her like two children playing hide-and-seek.
“I'm in here Davey. What's going on?” she called from the bedroom. I sped into the room and closed the door behind me. As soon as I heard the door click closed I embraced her, both of us falling back onto the bed. With me trying to kiss every part of her body that I could reach.
“Davey? Davey what are you doing?” Jessica asked me as I tried to strip her of the clothes that she wore. “Davey stop it! Stop it, you're hurting me!” she cried.
“Jessica, I want to make love to you.” I whispered into her ear as I tried to undo my belt buckle. She started to squirm and wriggle out from beneath my body. But I was strong and slid my hands under her waist, picking her up and pinning her against the opposite wall. I kissed her mouth, neck, collarbone. All the time she tried to wriggle out of my grip.
“What's the matter babe?” I asked her when she continued to squirm.
“Davey, I don't want to. Please, just let go!” Jessica pleaded with me. As I looked down into her eyes, I could see that she was crying. “Why was she crying?” I thought as I tried to restrain her. “Why should she be crying? I'm the one with the shit life! Not her. She has no right to be upset.” The anger that was building up inside of me must have been showing on my face because then Jessica seemed extremely frightened.
The look of fear in her eyes seemed to give me the feeling of power. “Get on the bed.” I told her with an all to calm voice.
“No, I … I ddon't … Davey what is going on with you?! Have you been drinking?” Jessica seemed to have gotten some of her fire back. I didn't, couldn't answer her, so I simply stared down into her eyes.
“You have been drinking haven't you? Shit Davey! I thought we had a deal? I thought you promised me that you would stop!” That same fear coming back into her eyes as the same feeling of power came over me.
“Get on the bed.” I told her again with the same all to calm voice. She didn't move. “I SAID GET ON THE FUCKING BED!” I roared at her, hitting her across the face. As she looked back at me, tears in her eyes and a red hand mark appearing on her face, she made a run for it.
Out the bedroom door Jessica flew and down the corridor. But I was quicker and caught up with her as her hand just reached for the door knob of the front door. Slowly she turned around. Her eyes were red from crying and half her face was also red from where I had hit her. I didn't feel sorry, I didn't feel scared of what was going to happen next. All I knew was that I wanted her.
I ran at Jessica, pulled her down and pinned her to the ground. I tried to kiss her again but this time she bit me on the arm. Bit me! I couldn't believe it! The anger growing stronger and stronger inside of me that I thought my head might explode. I drew my hand back, clenched it into a fist and brought it down towards her face. I heard her scream. I was seconds away from shattering her face when I stopped. I steered my hand away from her face and punched the wall next to us, making an impressive hole.
I couldn't believe what I was about to do! I couldn't believe that I was going to hurt Jessica!
“What's wrong with me?” I whispered, looking down at her, now I was the one that felt fearful. She didn't say a word, nor did she move a muscle. All she did was stare into my eyes, her lip trembling, threatening to cry again. I stood up. Opened the front door and walked out onto the porch. I turned back around to the house, Jessica had brought herself into a sitting position. Her knees under her chin and arms wrapped around her legs.
“I won't hurt you any more.” I said to her, my voice barely audible.
I took my phone out of my pocket and rang a cab. I don't think putting myself behind the wheel would be such a good idea tonight.
When the cab arrived I got in and told the cabbie to take me to the hotel that I stayed at with AFI. I don't know why, but that seemed like the right place to go, and I went. I went out of Jessica's life hopefully, for her sake, forever.
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