Categories > Celebrities > Beatles > Aren't We All?
DISCLAIMER: The only things I own that are anyhow related to the Beatles are books, shirts, and poster. This is all fiction, luvs, thought of by yours truly!
“What took you so long, boys?” Brian Epstein hissed at John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr as they got into the car. They were scheduled to have an interview with Playboy Magazine, and the last thing Brian wanted was for them to be late.
“Oh, you know us, Brian,” John replied with a girly voice. “We’ve been putting on all of our make-up and picking out the right purses!” Brian grumbled.
“Aw, cheer up, Eppy, we were just having some fun,” Ringo told him.
“Yeah, calm down- we didn’t get into any trouble!” George insisted.
“You better not have!” Brian hissed. “If you boys cause anymore brouhaha, then we’re not going to that party later tonight!”
“I don’t think anyone even uses the term “brouhaha” anymore!” John said. They laughed (excluding Brian, of course).
They got to where the interview was scheduled, for Brian’s sake, on time. When they got inside, there were chairs for them to sit in and reporters waiting with questions. They introduced themselves and sat down. Knowing the interview would be boring, the boys decided to have a little fun with it.
PLAYBOY: "Do you stick pretty much together off-stage?"
JOHN: "Well, yes and no. Groups like this are normally not friends, you know. They're just four people out there thrown together to make an act. There may be two of them who sort of go off and are friends, you know, but…"
GEORGE: "Just what do you mean by that?"
JOHN: "Strictly platonic, of course. But we're all rather good friends, as it happens."
PLAYBOY: "Then do you see a good deal of one another when you're not working?"
PAUL: "Well, you know, it depends. We needn't always go to the same places together. In earlier days, of course, when we didn't know London, and we didn't know anybody in London, then we really did stick together, and it would really be just like four fellows down from the north for a coach trip. But nowadays, you know, we've got our own girlfriends… they're in London… so that we each normally go out with our girlfriends on our days off. Except for John, of course, who's married."
PLAYBOY: "Do any of the rest of you have any plans to settle down?"
PAUL: "I haven't got any."
GEORGE: "Ringo and I are getting married."
PLAYBOY: "Oh? To whom?"
GEORGE: "To each other. But that's a thing you'd better keep a secret."
RINGO: "You better not tell anybody."
GEORGE: "I mean, if we said something like that, people'd probably think we're queers. After all, that's not the sort of thing you can put in a reputable magazine like PLAYBOY. And anyway, we don't want to start the rumor going."
PLAYBOY: "To bring up another topic that's shocking to some, how do you feel about the homosexual problem?"
GEORGE: "Oh yeah, well, we're all homosexuals, too."
RINGO: "Yeah, we're all queer."
PAUL: "But don't tell anyone."
PLAYBOY: "Seriously, is there more homosexuality in England than elsewhere?"
JOHN: "Are you saying there's more over here than in America?"
PLAYBOY: "We're just asking."
GEORGE: "It's just that they've got crewcuts in America. You can't spot 'em."
PAUL: "There's probably a million more queers in America than in England. England may have its scandals… like Profumo and all… but at least they're heterosexual."
JOHN: "Still, we do have more than our share of queers, don't you think?"
PAUL: "It just seems that way because there's more printed about them over here."
RINGO: "If they find out somebody is a bit bent, the press will always splash it about."
~~~
Later, the boys were able to stay behaved enough to go to the fun party as Brian had promised. They danced, entertained birds, and talked to other people invited to the party. Even with all the commotion going on, however, George found himself unable to stay awake, and crashed on a couch while some bird babbled on about how she had all of their albums, and loved this and that number, and blah blah blah, and yatta yatta yatta, and so on, so on.
“What took you so long, boys?” Brian Epstein hissed at John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr as they got into the car. They were scheduled to have an interview with Playboy Magazine, and the last thing Brian wanted was for them to be late.
“Oh, you know us, Brian,” John replied with a girly voice. “We’ve been putting on all of our make-up and picking out the right purses!” Brian grumbled.
“Aw, cheer up, Eppy, we were just having some fun,” Ringo told him.
“Yeah, calm down- we didn’t get into any trouble!” George insisted.
“You better not have!” Brian hissed. “If you boys cause anymore brouhaha, then we’re not going to that party later tonight!”
“I don’t think anyone even uses the term “brouhaha” anymore!” John said. They laughed (excluding Brian, of course).
They got to where the interview was scheduled, for Brian’s sake, on time. When they got inside, there were chairs for them to sit in and reporters waiting with questions. They introduced themselves and sat down. Knowing the interview would be boring, the boys decided to have a little fun with it.
PLAYBOY: "Do you stick pretty much together off-stage?"
JOHN: "Well, yes and no. Groups like this are normally not friends, you know. They're just four people out there thrown together to make an act. There may be two of them who sort of go off and are friends, you know, but…"
GEORGE: "Just what do you mean by that?"
JOHN: "Strictly platonic, of course. But we're all rather good friends, as it happens."
PLAYBOY: "Then do you see a good deal of one another when you're not working?"
PAUL: "Well, you know, it depends. We needn't always go to the same places together. In earlier days, of course, when we didn't know London, and we didn't know anybody in London, then we really did stick together, and it would really be just like four fellows down from the north for a coach trip. But nowadays, you know, we've got our own girlfriends… they're in London… so that we each normally go out with our girlfriends on our days off. Except for John, of course, who's married."
PLAYBOY: "Do any of the rest of you have any plans to settle down?"
PAUL: "I haven't got any."
GEORGE: "Ringo and I are getting married."
PLAYBOY: "Oh? To whom?"
GEORGE: "To each other. But that's a thing you'd better keep a secret."
RINGO: "You better not tell anybody."
GEORGE: "I mean, if we said something like that, people'd probably think we're queers. After all, that's not the sort of thing you can put in a reputable magazine like PLAYBOY. And anyway, we don't want to start the rumor going."
PLAYBOY: "To bring up another topic that's shocking to some, how do you feel about the homosexual problem?"
GEORGE: "Oh yeah, well, we're all homosexuals, too."
RINGO: "Yeah, we're all queer."
PAUL: "But don't tell anyone."
PLAYBOY: "Seriously, is there more homosexuality in England than elsewhere?"
JOHN: "Are you saying there's more over here than in America?"
PLAYBOY: "We're just asking."
GEORGE: "It's just that they've got crewcuts in America. You can't spot 'em."
PAUL: "There's probably a million more queers in America than in England. England may have its scandals… like Profumo and all… but at least they're heterosexual."
JOHN: "Still, we do have more than our share of queers, don't you think?"
PAUL: "It just seems that way because there's more printed about them over here."
RINGO: "If they find out somebody is a bit bent, the press will always splash it about."
~~~
Later, the boys were able to stay behaved enough to go to the fun party as Brian had promised. They danced, entertained birds, and talked to other people invited to the party. Even with all the commotion going on, however, George found himself unable to stay awake, and crashed on a couch while some bird babbled on about how she had all of their albums, and loved this and that number, and blah blah blah, and yatta yatta yatta, and so on, so on.
Sign up to rate and review this story