FicWad

2. Winter

Gerard had told his brother Mikey the next day, just as he had said he would. Mikey had been ecstatic, and had told the rest of the guys despite the fact that Gerard had told him not to. They all flew in, and a celebration was thrown.

"Adda boy! Adda boy!" Frank continuously repeated as he punched Gerard in the arm a bit harder than intended.

It was not long before Lindsey began to show, and their new child became more of a reality each and every day. They paid many visits to the doctor, and were ecstatic to eventually discover that they were to have a boy. What wonderful news! They would have a boy, which would contrast excellently with their current baby girl. Gerard was particularly ecstatic about the discovery of its gender, not necessarily because he did not want another girl, but it was no secret that every man desires a son of their own.

Lindsey's friends were already calling in for ideas for a baby shower. Gerard bought new things for their upcoming child every day, including toys and books for learning. Bandit of course, could not do much to help prepare --- but Gerard would take the time to help prepare her.

"You're going to have a new brother soon." he would tell her; as she sat on his lap. "Just like me and Mikey. You're going to be the older sibling like me, so you have to take good care of the younger one, okay?"

Bandit would clap her hands in agreement, and by the gleeful look on her face, Gerard could tell she was just as excited as they were. Gerard did hope to teach Bandit to have a similar relationship to her new sibling, as he did with Mikey. Although he had to admit --- despite being older, it was Mikey who ended up taking care of him most of the time.

Luckily, the press never got a hold of the juicy piece of news. Gerard was never sure why he was so intent on keeping this on the down low, but he had preferred to keep this as an intimate affair, even if he knew it would get out eventually.

However, soon Gerard found himself glad that it never got out for a different reason.

It had just been any other day. Gerard had been over to Ray's house to talk about guitar parts for the new album. He had even come home earlier, as he had been doing so often at the time.

He went upstairs and saw that Lindsey was asleep in bed. He only noticed something was out of place when he came a bit closer. Till this day, he did not know why it took him so long to notice -- yet it took him a few steps closer to notice that an area of the blanket, as pale and white as Lindsey's porcelain skin, was soaked in scarlet red blood.

"Lindsey! Lindsey!" Gerard dropped the papers he had been holding, dashing to wake Lindsey up.

He reached over and shook her rather violently, his hands shaking. She awoke, her eyes unfocused and confused. She looked up at his frantic state before looking down at her own bloody mess. Immediately, she began to scream.

Gerard realized he was going to get no explanation from her. He hastily got out his cellphone and dialed 911. He barely even heard the person on the other line over his own yelling at them for help before he hung up.

Lindsey pushed the blanket off of herself, revealing that the blood was pouring out of her cunt. She looked at her husband with wide and fearful eyes.

Gerard bent down and lifted her off of the bed, proceeding to carry her down the stairs so that the ambulance might be able to carry her out easier. When he reached the platform, he saw a little eye peering up at them from the crack of a bedroom door, curious at all the commotion.

"Go back in your room baby, I'll come get you in a few minutes!" he called after her.

The ambulance arrived almost right after they reached the couch in the living room. Gerard looked down at Lindsey for the first time since they had left the bedroom. She had stopped screaming, but she seemed in shock. She let out small whimpers, and her whole being trembled.

The EMTs came through the door, and brought in a stretcher. Gerard placed a tender kiss on her forehead, before wordlessly handing her over to the EMTs. He then found himself pulled aside as one of the EMTs asked him questions about her medical history. Gerard watched Lindsey as she was packed away into the ambulance.

"Are you going to ride in the ambulance with her?" asked one EMT.

"No." said Gerard, "I have to drop my daughter off to someone who can watch her. I'll meet you guys there soon though, what hospital are you taking her to?"

"Intercommunity Hospital." the EMT told him.

"I know where that is." Gerard nodded.

"Alright, we'll be off then." the EMT muttered as he began to turn around. Gerard put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Please take good care of her." he pleaded.

"Of course, sir." the EMT smiled.

The EMT left with the rest of his team. Finally, the ambulance drove off. Gerard sighed and went to go gather Bandit. He passed by their room, averting his eyes from the large puddle of blood that now covered their bed.

~

"Noka!" Bandit yelled in her baby seat, as Gerard pulled up the Toro household's driveway. He wasn't sure what she meant by that, but he figured now was as good a time as any to explain to Bandit as much as he could.

"You have to stay with Uncle Ray and Aunt Christa for a little while, okay? I'll be back tonight." he told her, forcing an encouraging smile.

Gerard got out of the driver’s seat and retrieved Bandit from hers. He walked up to the front door, realizing he probably should have called first. In his panic, he had forgotten to. However, from the usual multitude of cars in the driveway, he had nothing to worry about. He rang the doorbell, feeling incredibly restless.

After what felt to be an eternity, Ray answered the door in an attire of matching orange pajamas. His eyes grew wide at the sight of his pale faced friend. He unlocked the door and allowed Gerard inside.

"Gerard, what's wrong?" Ray asked, immediately detecting that something was amiss.

"Lindsey's in the hospital." Gerard spoke in a raspy voice, not quite able to bring himself to say exactly why. "Can you please watch B for me? Just until I get back?"

"Oh -- of course." said Ray, seeming taken aback. He watched as Gerard set Bandit down on their carpet floor. "Gee, what happened?"

Gerard stared at Ray, trying to explain. Yet every time the words came close to his mouth, he felt a horrible sinking in his stomach. Tears arose in their place, and he shook his head. Ray asked no more. He came forward and took Gerard into his arms, pressing Gerard's head to his shoulder.

"It's okay Gee, it's okay." Ray consoled him, "Just go on. We'll take good care of B."

"I'll call all of you later." Gerard said simply before he turned around and left.

~

When Gerard arrived at her hospital room, she was awake. She looked at him as he walked in, her eyes puffy and red.

"We lost him." she whispered. Gerard did not need any more explanation. He sat by her bedside and stroked her hair.

"It's going to be okay." he whispered back as he held her to him, rocking them both back and forth gently. She was silent, but bathed in his affection. The arms that held her gave her the first spark of strength that she had felt since she had awoken.

Still, it could do nothing to help fill the gaping hole that was now in her heart.
Gerard released her. He stooped down and kissed her lips softly. "It’s going to be okay. I love you." he repeated.

Lindsey looked into the misty hazel eyes of her husband. She wanted so desperately to say the same thing, to return his sentiments. Yet she could not utter any sort of word at the moment, for every single thing in the entire world suddenly felt like a lie.

Medically, there was nothing more to be done. The doctors observed her for a while, offered her empty words of sympathy. They cleaned out her womb of what was once going to be their child, and Gerard took her home the next day.

Gerard knew he had said he would call his friends. Still once he had gotten home, he did nothing but lay in bed with her. His phone began to ring non-stop --- he got frantic phone calls from Mikey, Ray, and Frank. He had figured it would not be long until Ray would have told them. Nothing is kept secret between the four brothers. Still, he ignored them all, as all he could focus on was the distraught woman he held in his arms.

She was silent, and he understood as to why. Yet her quiet state bothered him so. He began to sing to her, a song titled Superstar by The Carpenters. A song she loved, and always appreciated when her spirits were down.

It had no effect. She stared up at the ceiling, unmoving and sorrowful. After a few more moments, it was his turn to cry as well.

In the weeks to come, their sadness let to something else --- frustration. The air of depression had become one of stiffness, annoyance, and irritability. Both Gerard and Lindsey tried to put on happy faces in front of Bandit, but they would instantly fade away the minute she wandered off.

Lindsey became especially distant. She inched away from Gerard’s touch, and gave only one worded answers when spoken to. Gerard shied away from her often, afraid of agitating her even more. Instead, he allowed himself to fall back into another state of depression.

It was obvious to anyone viewing the picture that their relationship seemed to be at breaking point. As though they were both walking through a field of ice, and it would be soon enough that the weight would be too much – the ice would crack, and they would plunge into the depths of freezing water, drowning in the cold.

It was the first day of December when Gerard awoke, finding his wife absent from their bed. He stared at the empty spot curiously, before forcing himself to get up.

He wandered down into the kitchen, presuming she would be there perhaps feeding little Bandit. Instead of her presence, however, he found her writing upon a small note on the kitchen counter. He picked it up, and felt his heart crack as he read it’s two worded message:

I’m sorry.

He went back into their room, and saw that all her things were absent from their place. He checked the bathroom, where it was the same situation. Finally, he checked Bandit’s room and saw that she had at least left her. Yet everything of Lindsey Way’s, including herself, was suddenly gone.

And at last, the ice had broken.