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Chapter 9:

Previously:

We slowly backed out of the store, and then took off running.

Frank's Point Of View-

Once we were both running out of breath, we stopped. We had ended up by Barnes and Noble. Grabbing my hand, Gerard pulled me into the store with him. He made his way straight to the comic books.

"No I know I may sound nerdy, but I love this shit." he admitted, flipping through a random graphic novel he picked up.

"Really? That's awesome!" I grinned, grabbing one to look at myself.

"Seriously? You don't think it's dumb or nerdy?"

"Not at all. Maybe a little nerdy, but I dig this shit too, dude."

"Oh, my God Frankie! This is awesome." he squealed, making me giggle in agreement.

We sat there for awhile, just looking at different comic books. After a bit, we headed over to the music department. I grabbed a Misfits CD and began listening to to it right away. Gerard seemed pleased with my selection. He too, had a great choice in music it turned out.

"Gerard Arthur Way?" someone shouted. Mikey came stomping into the store with an angry look on his face. Ray followed behind, not seeming to care about what was going on.

"Hide." Gerard said since Mikey hadn't seen us yet. We ran, ending up int the 'Kids' section. We sat behind a bookshelf and giggled. Then Mikey suddenly appeared.

"Fuck you!" he yelled when he saw us smiling up at him. I heard a mother gasp and cover her child's ears.

"Mikey! Language! There are children present." Gerard scolded.

"We're going home." Mikey told us. We all headed to the car. Once we pulled out of the parking lot, Mikey said, "Shopping is depressing when you have no money."

"Wait-how did you buy the garters then?" Ray asked him.

"I stole ten bucks from Gerard." he shrugged.

"What the fuck Mikey!" Gerard said. "You know I'm in between jobs right now. You can't just take the little bit of money I have." So that's why Gerard was always able to be with me. I never really thought about the fact that he had to work.

"I needed money! I needed to buy at least once thing. I was feeling deprived."

"You work! Use your own money." And that's where Mikey and Ray always went. Work.

"No. It's funner when I use yours. Besides, someone has to pay the bills."

"Fuck you, Michael." Gerard said, glaring at his brother briefly in the rier-view mirror before silently turning his attention back to the road.

The rest of the drive was pretty quiet. Thankfully, it was also short. Once we got home, Gerard headed straight to out bedroom, grabbing my hand so that I'd follow.

"Do you realize that in just a little over twenty-four hours, we'll be having hot sex?" Gerard asked as we laid down.

"Yes. I'm excited."

"So am I."

I curled into a little ball and let him wrap his arms around me. It was getting difficult for me to hide my excitement for tomorrow night. Losing my virginity was all that I could think about. It was weird for me to actually care, though. Before now, I didn't care who my first time was with, but now, all I want is for Gerard to be my first and my only.

"Frankie?" Gerard said.

"Yeah?"

"Will you tell me more about yourself?"

"Sure Gee. What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Everything. I want to know all there is to know about you."

"You already know all about me."

"But there must be more. What was your childhood like? Did you have many friends? Any pets? Hobbies? Break any bones?"

"My childhood was... well, it was alright. I guess I'm not in any position to complain. Um-"

"What do you mean?" he asked, cutting me off.

"Well, it wasn't the greatest, but it wasn't the worst either."

"Why wasn't it the greatest?"

"it doesn't matter." I mumbled, not wanting to get into it yet.

"Yes. it does. It matters to me." He used his hand to make me look back up at me. His eyes were filled curiosity and concern. "Please baby? You can trust me."

"Well, it's not really a big deal. My dad was just not the nicest person ever. He'd hit me once in awhile. And my mom had a slight drinking problem. I mean, I was used to it so I really didn't mind. And it wasn't that bad. It really wasn't."

"Baby, that's awful! God, if I would have known you then, I would have never allowed that to happen. I'm so sorry." Was he really apologizing for not being able to help me?

"Gerard Way, don't you ever blame yourself for that. Never. I didn't know you then!"

"But Frank, I could have save you if I met you sooner."

"No, you couldn't. Stop thinking that."

"No. I won't. While I was out drinking and partying, you were getting beaten."

"Stop it."

"No."

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes and listened to him rant about how guilty he felt. He kept saying he could have helped me if he would have known me. But there was really nothing either of us could do about that, so I thought it was possibly the stupidest thing he could ever get upset over. Even after he ended his rant, I remained silent. All I could think about was my mom and dad's partying habits. I could remember waking up for school and finding my mom passed out on the couch with an empty beer can and a bruised eye. Dad would be snoring peacefully in the comfort of his ed. Most of the time, they were both gone when I got home, and I'd be sleeping before came back. It went on like that for years. Eventually though, it got a little better and better. I figured something must have happened because I woke up one day and my mom was making breakfast. It was a Saturday, and she wanted to spend the day with me. it was probably the best day of my life. Well, until I met Gerard, that is.

"Frankie?" Gerard was looking at me with a concerned expression. "Baby, are you okay?"

"What?" I asked, confused for a second. "Oh! Um, yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't seem fine."

"I'm sure. i was just caught up in my thoughts."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No really. Well, not right now. Later, maybe."

"Okay... Well, I'm always here if you need me. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do. And the same goes for you, babe."

Gerard gave me a large grin. "So, anyways, tomorrow night, do you want to do it here, or somewhere else?"

"it doesn't matter to me."

"Okay. Then we'll just do it here. I'll make sure ikey and Ray are gone."

"Okay." I smiled, getting excited again.

"And you're still sure you want to do it? With me?"

"Of course! There is not a single living being I'd rather do it with."

"It doesn't matter to you that's I'm not a virgin?"

"Absolutely not. I mean, it would be cool if I were your first too, but this is good. And at least you'll know what you're doing."

"I guess. I wish you were my first too. But I guess it's too late to care about that now."

"Yeah." I sighed. I really didn't mind that I wasn't Gerard's. All that mattered to me was that he was mine.

"Remember at the cemetery, when you were going to tell me something?" Gerard asked. I froze, and forced myself to nod for him to continue. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Well, is the thing about your parents what you wanted to tell me?"

"Um no. It's not."

"Oh.. Well do you want to tell me now? You don't have to. I was just wondering." I thought about it. And I remember I had said that I forgot what I wanted to tell him.

"Wait- at the cemetery I told you I forgot." Obviously now he knew I hadn't, but he wouldn't have know that until now.

"Do you really think I fell for that? I could tell you didn't forget anything, but I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

"Oh." I said, feeling a little stupid.

"Yeah. You don't have to though. But you can if you want." ha gave me a small, comforting smile. I thought about my secret. Was I ready to have someone else know? It would probably be a good idea for him to know before he fucks me.

"No, I'll tell you." I decided and thought about how to say it. He waited quietly, allowing me to think and prepare myself.

"Okay. I don't do it anymore, but I used to be really into self harm."

Since I hadn't updated right away like I promise last time, I decided I'd try to get as much posted as I can right now. I'm already started on the next chapter too. It'll probably be up tonight or tomorrow. I hope. Don't hate me if it's not 'cause it's about 2 am and I haven't slept much the past couple of days.
Anyways, I know a lot of stories tend to have a self harming character (usually either Gerard or Frank) so I probably just made my story more like several others, but please don't stop reading it, because there will be some smut coming up soon and I'm liking my ending so far. I like to try and keep my stories as original as possible, but this was my first MCR fic, and it's already all written up and I'm in no mood to change it completely. I have more in progress that I hope you will all read once I can get them up here, though. I'll let you all know when I post them in case you want to read them.
Reviews would be lovely. I'd love to know what your thoughts are on the story so far!