Categories > Original > Humor > A Zacky Movie
Cut to Zacky answering the phone at the Discount Store.
Zacky:
Hello.
Mazur:
Yes, Mr. Vengence. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Zacky:
Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?
Mazur:
No, Mr. V. He's in trouble!
Zacky:
Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Mazur:
Dressed like a gang member..
Zacky:
Gang member?
Mazur:
...your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Zacky:
Riot? It couldn't be my...
Mazur:
If I were you, Mr. V, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up in the electric chair!!
Zacky:
The electric chair? [He lets the phone drop.] What am I gonna do?
Zacky is suddenly bathed in a beam of blue light.
PA:
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
Following the light, Zacky is drawn to a display of small ceramic figures of a punk fishing. Zacky bobs the head of one of the figures which bounces around a while.
Zacky:
Lake Destiny!
Cut back to the photo studio. Syn is about to get a picture of the little girl who is still velcoed to the set.
Syn:
Okay, kiddo, now smile!
She gives a big smile, but suddenly, Zacky's face is in the viewfinder.
Zacky:
Lake Destiny, Idaho!!
Syn:
Lake Whodawhata...
Zacky:
You were right, Syn. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Syn:
Well, yeah, but, ah...
Zacky dances away.
Zacky:
I'm going fishing! I'm going fishing with my boy!
Syn:
Yah! Okay, precious, give me a big smi...
Only the diaper remains on the set. The little girl giggles as she runs after Zacky.
Girl:
Fishy! Fishy!
Cut to front of high school. The final bell rings and students come dashing out. Max walks out with a smile on his face and a vacant look.
Boy:
(to Max) Cool concert, lad!
Max:
What?
Another Boy:
Wellll, bud!
Girl (same as with credit cards):
Hey, Max. Wicked dance!
Max:
Thanks!
Stacey comes by and pushes the girl away.
Stacey:
Forget it, girl. He's Roxanne's.
Sin:
Way to go, man! [he jumps on Max's shoulders] I just heard about you and Roxanne!
Max:
Oh, Peej!
Sin starts giving Max noogies. Max dumps Sin off.
Sin:
See? See? I told you our plan would work! (chanting) Max! Max!
Max:
Peej, knock it off!
Bobby:
Maximum! Maximum!
Cheerleaders:
Max! Max! Max!
More and more students join in the chant until the entire student body is chanting "Max! Max!" Max is pleasantly shocked. He dances his way home.
Music:
All I need is half a chance
A second thought, a second glance
Will prove I got whatever it takes.
Max: (lip synching)
It's a piece of cake.
Music:
To stand out above the crowd.
Even if I gotta shout out loud.
'Til mine is the only face you'll see.
Gonna stand out.
Stand out.
Stand Out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Stand Out.
'Til mine is the only face you'll see.
Gonna stand out so you notice me.
Max kicks the gate of his home open and walks through. Zacky is loading the car with a lot of stuff.
Max:
Going somewhere, Pop?
Zacky:
Sure are, Pal-a-roony!
Max:
Cool! Well, have a good time, Dad! If you're gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line!
Zacky:
But, Max, this isn't just my vacation. It's a vacation with me and my best buddy!
Max:
Oh, Gerard?
Zacky:
No, silly! With you!
Spin shot to Max with a shocked expression. Max faints.
Zacky:
Are you okay, Maxie?
Max comes to.
Max:
Wha..What did you say?
Zacky:
That's right! A vacation, son! We'll spend some real quality time together!
Max:
I think I'm gonna be sick!
Zacky:
Hey! Got a present for you!
Zacky grabs Max and proceeds to change his clothes to Max's protests. Max is shown with a complete fishing outfit on, with an inflatable life vest. Zacky pulls a cord and the vest inflates, making Max look like a rolly polly.
Zacky:
You look just like I did at your age!
Max:
Please don't say that, Dad!
Zacky:
Wait! I saved the best for last!
Zacky removes a case from behind his back and blows the dust off it.
Zacky:
It's been handed down from Vengence to Vengence toVengence! And now, it's yours, son!
Zacky opens it to reveal a fly casting rod.
Max:
A stick?
Zacky:
No, silly! A fishing pole!
Max:
Fishing? We're going fishing?!
Zacky:
Yup! Just like my dad and me did! Two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny, away from it all!
Max:
I don't want to be away from it all, Dad! I like it all!
Zacky:
Hey, look, Maxie! We're using the same map me and my dad used! We'll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights...
Max:
But that trip would take weeks, Dad!
Zacky:
Exactly! Getting there is half the fun!
Max pushes the map away.
Max:
Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen, I'm telling you, it's not...
Zacky:
Careful, son. You'll wrinkle my past. And our future! What the map says, Max, we will follow!
Max:
That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh, seriously, there's this party I have to go to...
Zacky:
Oh, there'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age I'd never even been invited to a party! And look at me now!
Max:
Great, Dad!
Zacky:
[opens car door] Hop in, Maxie!
Max:
[closes car door] No.
Zacky:
[tries using sympathy] All right, then. Guess I'll just have to go...all alone. That's all. Just sit in the boat...all alone. And talk to myself...all alone.
Max:
(brightly) I guess so!
Zacky:
[opens car door] Aw, come on, hop in!
Max:
[shuts it] No, Dad!
Zacky:
[opens it] Just hop right in there!
Max:
[shuts it] No!
Zacky:
[opens it and stuffs Max in] Come on, Maxie, go for it!
Zacky:
We're ready for take off!
Zacky goes around to his door and gets in.
Zacky:
Set for adventure, Maxie?
Max:
Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Zacky:
'Cause I don't want you to end up in the electric chair!
He hugs Max which deflates the life vest.
Max:
The electric chair? What are you...
Zacky:
I'm not giving up on you, son. Together, we're gonna work this out.
Max:
Work this out? But, Dad...
Zacky:
No buts about it, Maxie Boy! Your ol' pop knows best!
Zacky starts the car and back out.
Zacky:
Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox!
Zacky runs over his fence while turning into the street.
Zacky:
Goodbye, pile of broken wood!
Max:
Goodbye, hopes. Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, Roxanne. Roxanne! Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first! I have to talk to someone!
Zacky:
Well...
Zacky:
Hello.
Mazur:
Yes, Mr. Vengence. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Zacky:
Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?
Mazur:
No, Mr. V. He's in trouble!
Zacky:
Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Mazur:
Dressed like a gang member..
Zacky:
Gang member?
Mazur:
...your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Zacky:
Riot? It couldn't be my...
Mazur:
If I were you, Mr. V, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up in the electric chair!!
Zacky:
The electric chair? [He lets the phone drop.] What am I gonna do?
Zacky is suddenly bathed in a beam of blue light.
PA:
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
Following the light, Zacky is drawn to a display of small ceramic figures of a punk fishing. Zacky bobs the head of one of the figures which bounces around a while.
Zacky:
Lake Destiny!
Cut back to the photo studio. Syn is about to get a picture of the little girl who is still velcoed to the set.
Syn:
Okay, kiddo, now smile!
She gives a big smile, but suddenly, Zacky's face is in the viewfinder.
Zacky:
Lake Destiny, Idaho!!
Syn:
Lake Whodawhata...
Zacky:
You were right, Syn. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Syn:
Well, yeah, but, ah...
Zacky dances away.
Zacky:
I'm going fishing! I'm going fishing with my boy!
Syn:
Yah! Okay, precious, give me a big smi...
Only the diaper remains on the set. The little girl giggles as she runs after Zacky.
Girl:
Fishy! Fishy!
Cut to front of high school. The final bell rings and students come dashing out. Max walks out with a smile on his face and a vacant look.
Boy:
(to Max) Cool concert, lad!
Max:
What?
Another Boy:
Wellll, bud!
Girl (same as with credit cards):
Hey, Max. Wicked dance!
Max:
Thanks!
Stacey comes by and pushes the girl away.
Stacey:
Forget it, girl. He's Roxanne's.
Sin:
Way to go, man! [he jumps on Max's shoulders] I just heard about you and Roxanne!
Max:
Oh, Peej!
Sin starts giving Max noogies. Max dumps Sin off.
Sin:
See? See? I told you our plan would work! (chanting) Max! Max!
Max:
Peej, knock it off!
Bobby:
Maximum! Maximum!
Cheerleaders:
Max! Max! Max!
More and more students join in the chant until the entire student body is chanting "Max! Max!" Max is pleasantly shocked. He dances his way home.
Music:
All I need is half a chance
A second thought, a second glance
Will prove I got whatever it takes.
Max: (lip synching)
It's a piece of cake.
Music:
To stand out above the crowd.
Even if I gotta shout out loud.
'Til mine is the only face you'll see.
Gonna stand out.
Stand out.
Stand Out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Stand Out.
'Til mine is the only face you'll see.
Gonna stand out so you notice me.
Max kicks the gate of his home open and walks through. Zacky is loading the car with a lot of stuff.
Max:
Going somewhere, Pop?
Zacky:
Sure are, Pal-a-roony!
Max:
Cool! Well, have a good time, Dad! If you're gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line!
Zacky:
But, Max, this isn't just my vacation. It's a vacation with me and my best buddy!
Max:
Oh, Gerard?
Zacky:
No, silly! With you!
Spin shot to Max with a shocked expression. Max faints.
Zacky:
Are you okay, Maxie?
Max comes to.
Max:
Wha..What did you say?
Zacky:
That's right! A vacation, son! We'll spend some real quality time together!
Max:
I think I'm gonna be sick!
Zacky:
Hey! Got a present for you!
Zacky grabs Max and proceeds to change his clothes to Max's protests. Max is shown with a complete fishing outfit on, with an inflatable life vest. Zacky pulls a cord and the vest inflates, making Max look like a rolly polly.
Zacky:
You look just like I did at your age!
Max:
Please don't say that, Dad!
Zacky:
Wait! I saved the best for last!
Zacky removes a case from behind his back and blows the dust off it.
Zacky:
It's been handed down from Vengence to Vengence toVengence! And now, it's yours, son!
Zacky opens it to reveal a fly casting rod.
Max:
A stick?
Zacky:
No, silly! A fishing pole!
Max:
Fishing? We're going fishing?!
Zacky:
Yup! Just like my dad and me did! Two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny, away from it all!
Max:
I don't want to be away from it all, Dad! I like it all!
Zacky:
Hey, look, Maxie! We're using the same map me and my dad used! We'll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights...
Max:
But that trip would take weeks, Dad!
Zacky:
Exactly! Getting there is half the fun!
Max pushes the map away.
Max:
Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen, I'm telling you, it's not...
Zacky:
Careful, son. You'll wrinkle my past. And our future! What the map says, Max, we will follow!
Max:
That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh, seriously, there's this party I have to go to...
Zacky:
Oh, there'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age I'd never even been invited to a party! And look at me now!
Max:
Great, Dad!
Zacky:
[opens car door] Hop in, Maxie!
Max:
[closes car door] No.
Zacky:
[tries using sympathy] All right, then. Guess I'll just have to go...all alone. That's all. Just sit in the boat...all alone. And talk to myself...all alone.
Max:
(brightly) I guess so!
Zacky:
[opens car door] Aw, come on, hop in!
Max:
[shuts it] No, Dad!
Zacky:
[opens it] Just hop right in there!
Max:
[shuts it] No!
Zacky:
[opens it and stuffs Max in] Come on, Maxie, go for it!
Zacky:
We're ready for take off!
Zacky goes around to his door and gets in.
Zacky:
Set for adventure, Maxie?
Max:
Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Zacky:
'Cause I don't want you to end up in the electric chair!
He hugs Max which deflates the life vest.
Max:
The electric chair? What are you...
Zacky:
I'm not giving up on you, son. Together, we're gonna work this out.
Max:
Work this out? But, Dad...
Zacky:
No buts about it, Maxie Boy! Your ol' pop knows best!
Zacky starts the car and back out.
Zacky:
Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox!
Zacky runs over his fence while turning into the street.
Zacky:
Goodbye, pile of broken wood!
Max:
Goodbye, hopes. Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, Roxanne. Roxanne! Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first! I have to talk to someone!
Zacky:
Well...
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