Categories > Original > Humor > A Zacky Movie
Zacky:
Gosh!
Max notices the waterbeds with goldfish.
Max:
Woah ho ho! Check out the bed!
Zacky:
Check out the dresser--coral!
Max turns a mermaid lamp off and on.
Max:
Nice lamp!
Zacky:
Classy choice, there, navigator!
There is a pounding on the door.
Voice:
This is the police! We've got the place surrounded, see! You Vengence's come out with your hands up!
Zacky slightly opens the door. Syn kicks it in and pretends to shoot Zacky and Max. He then starts laughing.
Syn:
You should have seen the look on your face!
Zacky:
You really had him fooled, Syn!
Max:
Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Zacky:
Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max:
Oh, right! Sure!
Zacky:
Did to!
Max:
Did not!
Syn:
Oh, ain't this sweet! (aside to Zacky) Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb!
Syn thumbs Zacky's nose.
Syn:
So, since we're all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Zacky:
Well...
Syn:
Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.
Zacky:
Okay.
Syn:
Great! Sin!
Sin comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables. Syn points into the room. Sin hauls it all in.
Syn:
Hey, Zack. Why don't you order us some pizza? This might take a while.
Zacky gets the pizza, then brings it in to Sin and Max.
Sin:
...no I mean it, they...
Zacky:
Here you go, kids. I'm gonna go check out the hot tub.
Sin:
Oh, okay, sir!
Max:
All right.
Sin:
(to Max) I can't believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Max:
It wasn't stupid!
Sin:
Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?
Syn was just about to enter when he hears Sin. He decides to listen.
Max:
Look, I didn't know what I was doing, all right? I...I was... I was panicked!...
Zacky gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Syn.
Syn:
Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Heh, heh. Can't say as I blame you.
Syn gets into the hot tub and a lot of water spills out due to Syn's size.
Syn:
People are always putting too much water in these things.
Syn settles into the pool.
Syn:
So, um, you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky dory, huh?
Zacky:
Yeah, it's been great! You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Syn:
Oh, that's swell! So, uh, no problems then, huh?
Zacky:
Not a one!
Syn fakes reluctance to tell Zacky what he heard.
Syn:
I...I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh,...
Zacky:
What is it, Syn?
Syn:
Your kid's duping you!
Zacky:
What do you mean?
Syn:
Well, I heard the little mutant telling Sin that he changed the map
so...you're heading straight to L.A., pal!
Zacky:
(Stunned) What?
Syn:
Oh, you tried, Zack. He's just a bad kid, that's all!
Zacky:
I don't believe you.
Syn:
What?
Zacky:
I don't believe you, Syn.
Syn:
Well, hey! Don't take my word for it. Check your map!
Zacky gets out of the hot tub.
Zacky:
I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but, he loves me.
Syn:
Hey! My son respects me!
Zacky:
Yeah...
Zacky leaves. Syn calls after him.
Syn:
Check the map, Goof!
Zacky walks back to the room, but decides to get in the car instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stop. He thinks, gets upset and pounds the steering wheel and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops opens and the map spills out. Cut to an aerial shot of the motel with Zacky's car centered. Zacky goes back to the room.
Max:
Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up.
Zacky looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light.
Sin:
(whispering) I think I better go.
Max:
(whispering) See ya, Peej.
Sin:
(whispering) Don't forget: Powerline!
Max:
Shhhhhh!
Zacky still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed. The shot twists and fades to the next morning as Zacky is driving with the same look. He looks over at Max who nervously grins. A sign comes up showing a junction with only left and right turns. Zacky grabs the map and gives it to Max.
Zacky:
Well, here you go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.
Max:
Okay.
They pass another sign pointing right to Idaho and left to California.
Zacky:
Here comes our junction.
Max looks at the map from Lake Destiny to L.A., torn.
Zacky:
Okay, Max, now this is it: left or right?
Max still can't decide.
Zacky:
Come on, Max!
Finally, Max at the last minute makes his decision.
Max:
Left!!!
The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. Max looks back, then sighs. Zacky look honestly angry. Max nervously smiles.
Max:
How about a song, Dad?
Zacky gets angrier.
Max:
A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! Okay! Uh, man or woman?
Zacky gets even angrier.
Max:
Man? Man! Okay! Uh, Walt Disney!
Zacky swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the car. He fumbles with the seat beat, gets out and stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming. Max sighs, realizing that his dad is on to him and resolves to tell him what's going on. He gets out of the car and goes over to him.
Gosh!
Max notices the waterbeds with goldfish.
Max:
Woah ho ho! Check out the bed!
Zacky:
Check out the dresser--coral!
Max turns a mermaid lamp off and on.
Max:
Nice lamp!
Zacky:
Classy choice, there, navigator!
There is a pounding on the door.
Voice:
This is the police! We've got the place surrounded, see! You Vengence's come out with your hands up!
Zacky slightly opens the door. Syn kicks it in and pretends to shoot Zacky and Max. He then starts laughing.
Syn:
You should have seen the look on your face!
Zacky:
You really had him fooled, Syn!
Max:
Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Zacky:
Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max:
Oh, right! Sure!
Zacky:
Did to!
Max:
Did not!
Syn:
Oh, ain't this sweet! (aside to Zacky) Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb!
Syn thumbs Zacky's nose.
Syn:
So, since we're all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Zacky:
Well...
Syn:
Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.
Zacky:
Okay.
Syn:
Great! Sin!
Sin comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables. Syn points into the room. Sin hauls it all in.
Syn:
Hey, Zack. Why don't you order us some pizza? This might take a while.
Zacky gets the pizza, then brings it in to Sin and Max.
Sin:
...no I mean it, they...
Zacky:
Here you go, kids. I'm gonna go check out the hot tub.
Sin:
Oh, okay, sir!
Max:
All right.
Sin:
(to Max) I can't believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Max:
It wasn't stupid!
Sin:
Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?
Syn was just about to enter when he hears Sin. He decides to listen.
Max:
Look, I didn't know what I was doing, all right? I...I was... I was panicked!...
Zacky gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Syn.
Syn:
Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Heh, heh. Can't say as I blame you.
Syn gets into the hot tub and a lot of water spills out due to Syn's size.
Syn:
People are always putting too much water in these things.
Syn settles into the pool.
Syn:
So, um, you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky dory, huh?
Zacky:
Yeah, it's been great! You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Syn:
Oh, that's swell! So, uh, no problems then, huh?
Zacky:
Not a one!
Syn fakes reluctance to tell Zacky what he heard.
Syn:
I...I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh,...
Zacky:
What is it, Syn?
Syn:
Your kid's duping you!
Zacky:
What do you mean?
Syn:
Well, I heard the little mutant telling Sin that he changed the map
so...you're heading straight to L.A., pal!
Zacky:
(Stunned) What?
Syn:
Oh, you tried, Zack. He's just a bad kid, that's all!
Zacky:
I don't believe you.
Syn:
What?
Zacky:
I don't believe you, Syn.
Syn:
Well, hey! Don't take my word for it. Check your map!
Zacky gets out of the hot tub.
Zacky:
I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but, he loves me.
Syn:
Hey! My son respects me!
Zacky:
Yeah...
Zacky leaves. Syn calls after him.
Syn:
Check the map, Goof!
Zacky walks back to the room, but decides to get in the car instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stop. He thinks, gets upset and pounds the steering wheel and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops opens and the map spills out. Cut to an aerial shot of the motel with Zacky's car centered. Zacky goes back to the room.
Max:
Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up.
Zacky looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light.
Sin:
(whispering) I think I better go.
Max:
(whispering) See ya, Peej.
Sin:
(whispering) Don't forget: Powerline!
Max:
Shhhhhh!
Zacky still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed. The shot twists and fades to the next morning as Zacky is driving with the same look. He looks over at Max who nervously grins. A sign comes up showing a junction with only left and right turns. Zacky grabs the map and gives it to Max.
Zacky:
Well, here you go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.
Max:
Okay.
They pass another sign pointing right to Idaho and left to California.
Zacky:
Here comes our junction.
Max looks at the map from Lake Destiny to L.A., torn.
Zacky:
Okay, Max, now this is it: left or right?
Max still can't decide.
Zacky:
Come on, Max!
Finally, Max at the last minute makes his decision.
Max:
Left!!!
The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. Max looks back, then sighs. Zacky look honestly angry. Max nervously smiles.
Max:
How about a song, Dad?
Zacky gets angrier.
Max:
A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! Okay! Uh, man or woman?
Zacky gets even angrier.
Max:
Man? Man! Okay! Uh, Walt Disney!
Zacky swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the car. He fumbles with the seat beat, gets out and stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming. Max sighs, realizing that his dad is on to him and resolves to tell him what's going on. He gets out of the car and goes over to him.
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