Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Celebrated Man Amongst The Gurneys
I Hate You Kill Everybody (chapter 6)
1 reviewSome bad langauge in this, sorry guys! So I've changed chapter 6 to this name because it suits better, I'm sorry if I cause any confusion! Thank you all so much for the amazing feedback, rate and r...
1Moving
Frank's POV.
The transition from Autumn to Winter was fast and harsh. The soft, colourful leaves fell quickly to the ground, only to be swallowed up by a sharp biting frost which blackened the trees and left them, bare and drooping, to face the Winter chill without their blanket. The ground crunched beneath his feet as Frank and Gerard walked in silence through the grounds. He wondered if this would be the last time they would do this - the change in weather seemed to have dampened the mens spirits as they trudged, disheartened and unusually quiet through the frost. Gerard was tight lipped and was walking slighty ahead of Frank; this was the way they normally walked, Gerard's long legs covering ground more quickly than Frank's; but today it felt uncomfortable and hostile. Looking back, Frank should have realised then that something was going to go wrong.
Gerard sat down heavily on the bench, crossing his legs and running his fingers through his hair in an almost nervous reflex. Frank sat next to him, wondering what had brought about this sudden change in countenance. 'Spit it out.' The tone of the sentence was so sharp that Frank was slightly taken aback. 'What?'
'Whatever your thinking. You're staring at me like I'm some fucking science experiment, either tell me whats wrong or fuck off.'
Frank blinked. This was not like Gerard at all - any pretence of politeness had completely melted and his tone was as wintry as the air around them. Trying not to sound hurt, he replied 'You just seem a bit off. I was going to ask what was wrong.'
'You better bring out a notepad then, Iero. Take a few notes.' Gerard scoffed. 'I could fill a whole book with the shit wrong with me.'
Frank sat in an uncomfortable silence as he tried to think of a reply. If it had been another one of his patients Frank would have had a snappy retort ready. His brain, however, did not function the usual way when he was with Gerard. There it was again - rogue thoughts. Dammit.
'That was the whole reason you did this, wasn't it?'
'Did what?' Frank snapped back to reailty and wondered if he had missed something.
'All this.' Gerard waved his hand. 'Taking me outside. Talking to me, whatever. So you could make notes about me in your damn book. I bet you have one, don't you? Do I get to see it or is that something else I don't have a say in?'
Gerard's POV.
Gerard could see the effect his words were having on the younger man, but he couldn't stop himself. He just felt so - angry? Was angry the word, he wondered? He was shaking and his head felt muzzy and sore, but angry at who? Yourself, a voice said inside his head. You're hurting Frak because your angry at yourself, for not being good enough, because your a freak. Gerard drowned out the voice by shouting over it, shouting at Frank until his voice was hoarse. 'I bet you'd like to know what I dream about, wouldn't you? You'd like to know what goes on when that doctor turns the light off and I fall asleep?'
'Gerard, please, I...'
'I scratch at myself when I do sleep, you know that? And sometimes I'm on top of the world and some days I want to kill every fucker I set eyes upon. And thats because I'm fucked in the head.' Gerard whirled round to face Frank, angry tears brimming in his eyes. 'I hate myself. You hate me, too. And as much as I'd like to convince myself otherwise, its true. You've met a million other people like me, and you'll meet another million after.' Gerard was crying now, choking back sobs as he screamed into the cold air. Then he felt himself sway on the spot, and he was holding the bench for support, and Frank had stood up and was looking down at him... and then he was on his back, and someone was talking about 'missing his medication', and then somebody switched the lights off.
The transition from Autumn to Winter was fast and harsh. The soft, colourful leaves fell quickly to the ground, only to be swallowed up by a sharp biting frost which blackened the trees and left them, bare and drooping, to face the Winter chill without their blanket. The ground crunched beneath his feet as Frank and Gerard walked in silence through the grounds. He wondered if this would be the last time they would do this - the change in weather seemed to have dampened the mens spirits as they trudged, disheartened and unusually quiet through the frost. Gerard was tight lipped and was walking slighty ahead of Frank; this was the way they normally walked, Gerard's long legs covering ground more quickly than Frank's; but today it felt uncomfortable and hostile. Looking back, Frank should have realised then that something was going to go wrong.
Gerard sat down heavily on the bench, crossing his legs and running his fingers through his hair in an almost nervous reflex. Frank sat next to him, wondering what had brought about this sudden change in countenance. 'Spit it out.' The tone of the sentence was so sharp that Frank was slightly taken aback. 'What?'
'Whatever your thinking. You're staring at me like I'm some fucking science experiment, either tell me whats wrong or fuck off.'
Frank blinked. This was not like Gerard at all - any pretence of politeness had completely melted and his tone was as wintry as the air around them. Trying not to sound hurt, he replied 'You just seem a bit off. I was going to ask what was wrong.'
'You better bring out a notepad then, Iero. Take a few notes.' Gerard scoffed. 'I could fill a whole book with the shit wrong with me.'
Frank sat in an uncomfortable silence as he tried to think of a reply. If it had been another one of his patients Frank would have had a snappy retort ready. His brain, however, did not function the usual way when he was with Gerard. There it was again - rogue thoughts. Dammit.
'That was the whole reason you did this, wasn't it?'
'Did what?' Frank snapped back to reailty and wondered if he had missed something.
'All this.' Gerard waved his hand. 'Taking me outside. Talking to me, whatever. So you could make notes about me in your damn book. I bet you have one, don't you? Do I get to see it or is that something else I don't have a say in?'
Gerard's POV.
Gerard could see the effect his words were having on the younger man, but he couldn't stop himself. He just felt so - angry? Was angry the word, he wondered? He was shaking and his head felt muzzy and sore, but angry at who? Yourself, a voice said inside his head. You're hurting Frak because your angry at yourself, for not being good enough, because your a freak. Gerard drowned out the voice by shouting over it, shouting at Frank until his voice was hoarse. 'I bet you'd like to know what I dream about, wouldn't you? You'd like to know what goes on when that doctor turns the light off and I fall asleep?'
'Gerard, please, I...'
'I scratch at myself when I do sleep, you know that? And sometimes I'm on top of the world and some days I want to kill every fucker I set eyes upon. And thats because I'm fucked in the head.' Gerard whirled round to face Frank, angry tears brimming in his eyes. 'I hate myself. You hate me, too. And as much as I'd like to convince myself otherwise, its true. You've met a million other people like me, and you'll meet another million after.' Gerard was crying now, choking back sobs as he screamed into the cold air. Then he felt himself sway on the spot, and he was holding the bench for support, and Frank had stood up and was looking down at him... and then he was on his back, and someone was talking about 'missing his medication', and then somebody switched the lights off.
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