Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fly Away, Dance on the Milky Way
Chapter 55: My chemical reaction
Gia’s life had become boring. Before Gerard got sober and Lindsey came along, Gia was always the one to take care of the house and cook, but now her dad, as well as Lindsey, insisted on doing most of the house chores. So, Gia really had nothing productive to do with her time except school work.
Gia laid on the living room couch, with her plastic baby Edmund in her arms. Growing up, she never had one of those Baby Born dolls that peed if you make them drink, so in a way, this was her first baby doll. Even though Edmund had rude words written on his body, Gia still loved him like any 15 year old girl would love their school assignment.
While she laid there, staring at the doll with an absent look on her face, Gerard and Lindsey had a silent fight going on in the kitchen.
“Just tell her!” Lindsey whispered furiously.
“I can’t! I think it’s best if we wait for a while and –“
“Gerard, we’ve been postponing this enough. At this rate, she will find out when the baby is born, if even then! Now here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to march up there, and just tell her everything, and hope for the best. Okay? It’s not that bad. People do this all the time and it’s never killed anyone!”
“But it MIGHT kill her! You don’t understand!” Gerard sighed. He loved Lindsey to death, but there’s no way she could understand.
“Fine, then why don’t you explain? I promise I will try to understand.”
“Well… You know how things used to be! Ever since she was four, it’s been just me and her. And as soon as things get better, I go and knock up some lady – no offense. It must feel horrible for her! I mean, I couldn’t be happier, but I’m just worried.”
“Gerard, you have to tell her. No, we have to tell her. How would you like it if she was pregnant and kept it a secret for months?” Upon seeing the panicked look on his face, Lindsey smiled. “Okay that was a very bad example. But you get the idea. It’s a big secret to have, and I don’t want to lie anymore. It’s not right.”
Gerard hated the way he was so easily persuaded. He knew he had to tell Gia about the pregnancy, because it was the right thing to do. But he still would’ve much rather chewed off his own arm than tell his daughter something like that.
“Gia? We have something we need to tell you,” Lindsey announced.
Gia sat up on the couch, Edmund still in her arms. “What is it?” she asked, but knew for a fact that she didn’t want to know. Judging by how Gerard avoided looking at her, clearly it was bad news.
Lindsey and Gerard glanced at each other, and she asked him: “Should I or do you want to?”
“I’ll do it,” he said, even though it was obvious how much he didn’t want to do it at all.
Gia got even more concerned when he sat down on one of the armchair opposite of the couch where Gia was still seated, and Lindsey sat on the armrest of the chair.
“Alright, I realize that what we’re about to tell you might be… well, horrible. To you. At first,” Gerard started. “But in time, I at least hope that you’ll learn to accept it, because it is happening. And, I mean I just want you to happy, so if this really is so traumatic for you that you can’t be happy, then we’ll put you in therapy so you can talk about stuff, though I don’t think that’s necessary because this has happened before and other people got through it, but seeing as how things have always been here, your reaction may not be the most accepting one. Anyway, I’m not saying that your reaction should be bad, I’m hoping it’s not, and I’ve been so afraid of your reaction when we tell you about it that I haven’t really even slept in days so I might be kind of insane right now, and –“
“Dad,” Gia interrupted him with a shocked gasp. “You’re doing drugs again?!”
When she asked that question, Gerard realized that he’d been rambling. “No! Of course I’m not doing drugs, what a question. I’m a bit offended that you’d assume right away that I’m doing drugs. Why did you think of that anyway? You’re not doing drugs are you?”
“Of course not! I’m not that stupid! Are you?”
“Well not anymore! And besides, you did once try them!”
“I guess stupidity runs in the family then.”
Lindsey groaned. This conversation was getting seriously side tracked. “Alright!” she shouted before the argument started to get even worse. “Gerard, back to the point.”
“Oh right,” Gerard said. He’d forgotten all about the actual point of the conversation. “So, Gia. Speaking of family.”
“Yes?”
Gerard took a deep breath. “Well… Um… Lindsey’s pregnant. Trust me, we wanted to tell you, but there was never a good time.”
The two held their breaths, waiting for Gia to do something. But the only thing she did was stare at them, for a long while. The first sign of life was when Gia let go of Edmund. She hadn’t even realized how hard she was holding him. The doll let out a wheezing sound when she let go of it.
“Um… How far along?” she asked.
“Four months,” Lindsey answered. Gerard was too busy waiting for the outburst to speak.
“Wow. And you guys just didn’t tell me because…?”
“Well like he said, there was never a good time. And honestly, we wanted to tell you, but we didn’t know how you’d react so we just kept postponing it…”
“I actually don’t even know how to react,” Gia admitted and stood up. “I’m going to go to sleep.”
Gerard and Lindsey looked at each other in surprise when Gia left the room. They had expected her to get angry at them, or start crying. But it was probably just because they had been so afraid of telling her, that they used the excuse of making her upset as a reason not to tell.
Gia hadn’t looked upset. In fact, she hadn’t looked like anything. Like she didn’t know what to feel.
Up in her room, Gia already had her phone in her hand and was impatiently waiting for Lucas to pick up. He had been in the exact same situation when his dad got Tina pregnant, so he’d understand. And most importantly, he could tell her how she was supposed to feel in this situation, because she had no idea whether to be happy or sad or angry.
“Hello?” Lucas said when he finally picked up his phone.
“Hey it’s me,” Gia said. Somehow she hadn’t realized how much she had missed him until she heard his voice. He sounded flustered, like he’d just run a couple of hundred miles.
“Gia! Hi! How are you?”
“I’m fine. What are you doing?” she asked him when she heard a loud banging noise on his side of the line.
“I was cleaning up my room. I know, unbelievable right? It’s raining so I can’t go out. Anyway, the trash bag fell over and everything fell out of it.”
“You? Cleaning up? I thought you didn’t know how to clean.”
“Mom refuses to do it so I have to. She thinks I’m too old to have my mom clean up after me. Stupid, huh? Like I know how to clean! I’m just putting everything under my bed.”
“Lucas, you really are lazy.”
“Anyway, what have you been up to?”
“Well… nothing much. I actually called you because I needed to ask you about something.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“When you were told that Tina was pregnant, how exactly did you feel?”
Lucas was silent for a moment, and Gia waited impatiently for his response. She knew he hadn’t taken the news exactly well, because the pregnancy news were the push for Lucas’ decision to run away, but they hadn’t discussed the details. Gia knew that the subject was kind of difficult for him.
“Well… I felt horrible. I mean, my dad was already ignoring me as it is, and Tina was just unbearable even without the kid. Add the cravings, mood swings, and the new reason to shop excessively to the punch and I wanted to kill her. Trust me, if your dad ever gets someone pregnant, it will ruin your life. It will be the end of the relationship you have with him, because all he will concentrate on is the new kid. That’s what happened to me, at least. But I’m not complaining, I mean, I’m happy living with mom. I got what I wanted, right?”
Somehow Gia got the feeling that he wasn’t exactly happy. Perhaps he had wanted his dad to protest against the move more than he had. But what was done was done.
And Gia had bigger problems now.
“So you’re saying that… hypothetically, if Lindsey was pregnant, then… I’ll never be happy again?”
Lucas must’ve realized that Gia hadn’t just taken up this subject for curiosity, because the tone of his voice got worried. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, and the noise on the background stopped.
“Yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? Umm, how’s school?”
“Boring as usual,” Lucas answered, obviously accepting the fact that she didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering her. “But the people are cool. I got some new friends already. And get this, that guy you were all flirty with over here? Yeah, he’s a junior at my school.”
“I was not flirting!” Gia instantly protested with a laugh. “But hey, you haven’t gone and replaced me already, have you?”
“Of course not! I don’t think I could find someone as prude, nagging and annoying as you are.”
“Thanks, really feeling the love.”
“What about you? Meet new friends?”
“You know me, I prefer being alone. I’m a lone wolf. I didn’t really even talk to anyone. There is this one guy though, we have a baby together.”
“What?! Okay, exactly how long have I been here?”
“It’s just a school project. And the guy is totally scary anyway. I don’t want babies with a scary guy, they might inherit his genes and then I’d be scared for the rest of my life.”
They talked for a long time, and by the time they hung up, it was already dark outside. But despite the fact that she knew she had an early morning, Gia couldn’t fall asleep. She was too worried.
Things had been too good to be true anyway. She had been happy when her dad got rid of the drugs and alcohol and started to act like a real, responsible parent. Now he went and ruined it all.
But the worst part was, that she knew it made him happy, so she couldn’t deny him from him. Not like she could even if she wanted to, but seeing as how much he wanted to be with Lindsey, Gia had no room to complain. If she did, Gerard would have to choose between Gia and Lindsey. And she wasn’t sure at all if he’d choose his daughter. After all, he was getting a new kid. One that he could start fresh with. One that didn’t do stupid things without him knowing.
The skin around her bellybutton piercing started to tingle when she became painfully aware of what it represented. The guilt made her want to cry, and after pulling the duvet over her dead, she groaned and wallowed in self-pity and guilt.
Gia’s life had become boring. Before Gerard got sober and Lindsey came along, Gia was always the one to take care of the house and cook, but now her dad, as well as Lindsey, insisted on doing most of the house chores. So, Gia really had nothing productive to do with her time except school work.
Gia laid on the living room couch, with her plastic baby Edmund in her arms. Growing up, she never had one of those Baby Born dolls that peed if you make them drink, so in a way, this was her first baby doll. Even though Edmund had rude words written on his body, Gia still loved him like any 15 year old girl would love their school assignment.
While she laid there, staring at the doll with an absent look on her face, Gerard and Lindsey had a silent fight going on in the kitchen.
“Just tell her!” Lindsey whispered furiously.
“I can’t! I think it’s best if we wait for a while and –“
“Gerard, we’ve been postponing this enough. At this rate, she will find out when the baby is born, if even then! Now here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to march up there, and just tell her everything, and hope for the best. Okay? It’s not that bad. People do this all the time and it’s never killed anyone!”
“But it MIGHT kill her! You don’t understand!” Gerard sighed. He loved Lindsey to death, but there’s no way she could understand.
“Fine, then why don’t you explain? I promise I will try to understand.”
“Well… You know how things used to be! Ever since she was four, it’s been just me and her. And as soon as things get better, I go and knock up some lady – no offense. It must feel horrible for her! I mean, I couldn’t be happier, but I’m just worried.”
“Gerard, you have to tell her. No, we have to tell her. How would you like it if she was pregnant and kept it a secret for months?” Upon seeing the panicked look on his face, Lindsey smiled. “Okay that was a very bad example. But you get the idea. It’s a big secret to have, and I don’t want to lie anymore. It’s not right.”
Gerard hated the way he was so easily persuaded. He knew he had to tell Gia about the pregnancy, because it was the right thing to do. But he still would’ve much rather chewed off his own arm than tell his daughter something like that.
“Gia? We have something we need to tell you,” Lindsey announced.
Gia sat up on the couch, Edmund still in her arms. “What is it?” she asked, but knew for a fact that she didn’t want to know. Judging by how Gerard avoided looking at her, clearly it was bad news.
Lindsey and Gerard glanced at each other, and she asked him: “Should I or do you want to?”
“I’ll do it,” he said, even though it was obvious how much he didn’t want to do it at all.
Gia got even more concerned when he sat down on one of the armchair opposite of the couch where Gia was still seated, and Lindsey sat on the armrest of the chair.
“Alright, I realize that what we’re about to tell you might be… well, horrible. To you. At first,” Gerard started. “But in time, I at least hope that you’ll learn to accept it, because it is happening. And, I mean I just want you to happy, so if this really is so traumatic for you that you can’t be happy, then we’ll put you in therapy so you can talk about stuff, though I don’t think that’s necessary because this has happened before and other people got through it, but seeing as how things have always been here, your reaction may not be the most accepting one. Anyway, I’m not saying that your reaction should be bad, I’m hoping it’s not, and I’ve been so afraid of your reaction when we tell you about it that I haven’t really even slept in days so I might be kind of insane right now, and –“
“Dad,” Gia interrupted him with a shocked gasp. “You’re doing drugs again?!”
When she asked that question, Gerard realized that he’d been rambling. “No! Of course I’m not doing drugs, what a question. I’m a bit offended that you’d assume right away that I’m doing drugs. Why did you think of that anyway? You’re not doing drugs are you?”
“Of course not! I’m not that stupid! Are you?”
“Well not anymore! And besides, you did once try them!”
“I guess stupidity runs in the family then.”
Lindsey groaned. This conversation was getting seriously side tracked. “Alright!” she shouted before the argument started to get even worse. “Gerard, back to the point.”
“Oh right,” Gerard said. He’d forgotten all about the actual point of the conversation. “So, Gia. Speaking of family.”
“Yes?”
Gerard took a deep breath. “Well… Um… Lindsey’s pregnant. Trust me, we wanted to tell you, but there was never a good time.”
The two held their breaths, waiting for Gia to do something. But the only thing she did was stare at them, for a long while. The first sign of life was when Gia let go of Edmund. She hadn’t even realized how hard she was holding him. The doll let out a wheezing sound when she let go of it.
“Um… How far along?” she asked.
“Four months,” Lindsey answered. Gerard was too busy waiting for the outburst to speak.
“Wow. And you guys just didn’t tell me because…?”
“Well like he said, there was never a good time. And honestly, we wanted to tell you, but we didn’t know how you’d react so we just kept postponing it…”
“I actually don’t even know how to react,” Gia admitted and stood up. “I’m going to go to sleep.”
Gerard and Lindsey looked at each other in surprise when Gia left the room. They had expected her to get angry at them, or start crying. But it was probably just because they had been so afraid of telling her, that they used the excuse of making her upset as a reason not to tell.
Gia hadn’t looked upset. In fact, she hadn’t looked like anything. Like she didn’t know what to feel.
Up in her room, Gia already had her phone in her hand and was impatiently waiting for Lucas to pick up. He had been in the exact same situation when his dad got Tina pregnant, so he’d understand. And most importantly, he could tell her how she was supposed to feel in this situation, because she had no idea whether to be happy or sad or angry.
“Hello?” Lucas said when he finally picked up his phone.
“Hey it’s me,” Gia said. Somehow she hadn’t realized how much she had missed him until she heard his voice. He sounded flustered, like he’d just run a couple of hundred miles.
“Gia! Hi! How are you?”
“I’m fine. What are you doing?” she asked him when she heard a loud banging noise on his side of the line.
“I was cleaning up my room. I know, unbelievable right? It’s raining so I can’t go out. Anyway, the trash bag fell over and everything fell out of it.”
“You? Cleaning up? I thought you didn’t know how to clean.”
“Mom refuses to do it so I have to. She thinks I’m too old to have my mom clean up after me. Stupid, huh? Like I know how to clean! I’m just putting everything under my bed.”
“Lucas, you really are lazy.”
“Anyway, what have you been up to?”
“Well… nothing much. I actually called you because I needed to ask you about something.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“When you were told that Tina was pregnant, how exactly did you feel?”
Lucas was silent for a moment, and Gia waited impatiently for his response. She knew he hadn’t taken the news exactly well, because the pregnancy news were the push for Lucas’ decision to run away, but they hadn’t discussed the details. Gia knew that the subject was kind of difficult for him.
“Well… I felt horrible. I mean, my dad was already ignoring me as it is, and Tina was just unbearable even without the kid. Add the cravings, mood swings, and the new reason to shop excessively to the punch and I wanted to kill her. Trust me, if your dad ever gets someone pregnant, it will ruin your life. It will be the end of the relationship you have with him, because all he will concentrate on is the new kid. That’s what happened to me, at least. But I’m not complaining, I mean, I’m happy living with mom. I got what I wanted, right?”
Somehow Gia got the feeling that he wasn’t exactly happy. Perhaps he had wanted his dad to protest against the move more than he had. But what was done was done.
And Gia had bigger problems now.
“So you’re saying that… hypothetically, if Lindsey was pregnant, then… I’ll never be happy again?”
Lucas must’ve realized that Gia hadn’t just taken up this subject for curiosity, because the tone of his voice got worried. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, and the noise on the background stopped.
“Yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? Umm, how’s school?”
“Boring as usual,” Lucas answered, obviously accepting the fact that she didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering her. “But the people are cool. I got some new friends already. And get this, that guy you were all flirty with over here? Yeah, he’s a junior at my school.”
“I was not flirting!” Gia instantly protested with a laugh. “But hey, you haven’t gone and replaced me already, have you?”
“Of course not! I don’t think I could find someone as prude, nagging and annoying as you are.”
“Thanks, really feeling the love.”
“What about you? Meet new friends?”
“You know me, I prefer being alone. I’m a lone wolf. I didn’t really even talk to anyone. There is this one guy though, we have a baby together.”
“What?! Okay, exactly how long have I been here?”
“It’s just a school project. And the guy is totally scary anyway. I don’t want babies with a scary guy, they might inherit his genes and then I’d be scared for the rest of my life.”
They talked for a long time, and by the time they hung up, it was already dark outside. But despite the fact that she knew she had an early morning, Gia couldn’t fall asleep. She was too worried.
Things had been too good to be true anyway. She had been happy when her dad got rid of the drugs and alcohol and started to act like a real, responsible parent. Now he went and ruined it all.
But the worst part was, that she knew it made him happy, so she couldn’t deny him from him. Not like she could even if she wanted to, but seeing as how much he wanted to be with Lindsey, Gia had no room to complain. If she did, Gerard would have to choose between Gia and Lindsey. And she wasn’t sure at all if he’d choose his daughter. After all, he was getting a new kid. One that he could start fresh with. One that didn’t do stupid things without him knowing.
The skin around her bellybutton piercing started to tingle when she became painfully aware of what it represented. The guilt made her want to cry, and after pulling the duvet over her dead, she groaned and wallowed in self-pity and guilt.
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