FicWad

Frank's POV


The smooth edge of the blade pressed against my skin, I just keep telling myself, don't do it, don't do it. But I have nowhere to run to anymore.

It never works; once again I'm staring into the cold glass mirror thinking of nothing but pain. He doesn't love me, he'll never love me.

I know it's stupid and I know I'm a little insane but all I want is to be loved. Every time someone shows interest in me I fall in love just a little bit only to get my heart smashed on the hard ground.

I look down at the tiny Polaroid in my hand, he was my everything, all I wanted and all I needed in life. My beautiful angel.

The picture showed us both hugging on the sofa me almost sitting on his lap both in black jeans and band shirts, a warm brotherly act one that I had taken too far, again.
I really thought he'd love me, I really did.

The scene replayed again and again in my mind, we had been out that day, shopping for Mikey's birthday and we'd only just gotten home, greeted by Ray and exhausted we collapsed onto each other on the sofa where Ray had taken the picture of us laughing, happy.

He'd then decided to busy Mikey so we could hide his gifts leaving us alone.

"Frankie!" Gerard had laughed waving his hand in front of my face. "You gotta move sometime you know"

I'd looked down at him laughing and our eyes had met and in that moment I got caught up and I kissed him.

I kissed him.

The look on his face will always haunt me, a look of shock, horror, disgust . He had pushed me off him.

"How could you?" He had screamed at me. "I would never like you like that Frank. You're my Friend "

The next few days had been the worst of my life. He hadn't told anyone, but he had not said a word to me since the incident. I didn't know what to do, I should have done anything else, anything but this.

Mikey and Ray were completely panicked, nobody knew what to do. I did, I knew what I should do, I should stop this, give up, but I couldn't.

But he still won't love me, he just hates me even more.

I need to give up.

The razor blade clatters on the white tiles splattering blood across the bathroom floor.

I need to give up.

The sirens screech in my head, I can't get them out.

I need to give up

I slowly drag myself to the wardrobe.

I need to give up

The door creaks as it opens.

I need to give up

And there he is, bound with ropes, I had to though or he'd run away.

I need to give up

I place my palm against his face, He struggles against my touch.

I need to give up

"Still don't want me Gee?" I whisper.

I need to give up

He's gagged but his eyes are full of hate.

I need to give up

It just cuts me deeper. "Fine."

I won't give up then.