Categories > Original > Drama > What's Another Night All Alone, When You're Spending Every Day On Your Own...
Once again my alarm clock interrupted my few hours of peace. Shakily I reached out from under my covers and hit it repeatedly. Then I sat up and groaned, my body killed, for fucks sake, would the pain ever end?
I felt numb as I walked into the bathroom, not caring what clothes I put on, not giving a shit how I looked, or smelled, or felt. Slowly I walked downstairs, and looked in the fridge for something to eat, nothing, I checked the cupboards too, still nothing. I opened the high up cupboard where mum kept all her alcohol, I don't know why I looked in there, but I saw a bottle of vodka and decided it would wake me up at least. Reaching up, I pulled the bottle off its shelf, unscrewed the lid and took a swig or two, it felt like fire down my throat. I replaced the cap and left the bottle on the work-surface with the cupboard door left open. Fuck putting that away I thought, Mum'll only take it out again. I left the house, crossed the street and walked to school, I was forty minutes early, but at least I was alone.
When I got to school, I had my books hit from my hands, I was shoved into lockers, called various things from faggot, to wrist slitting emo faggy cunt face, ...How original. At break I had food thrown at me, and milkshake tipped on my head, and in third lesson some twats decided to pull my chair away as I was about to sit down. Very funny. I got gum stuck in my hair, and was given after-school detention for tomorrow because I forgot to do the history assignment. At the end of the lesson I was one of the last out the class, and Mr Gomshall kept me back, "Dylan, at the start of the year you seemed so enthusiastic, but now you just look exhausted, is everything okay?" I didn't know what to say, but I knew I couldn't tell him the truth, that I hated myself, I hated home, I hated school and generally wanted to die. "I'm fine." I told him. He didn't look convinced, but let me go anyway.
When I got outside the cold air hit me like a brick, the sun was blindingly bright and I had to close my eyes for a second. When I opened them, I was confronted by two people kissing just a few feet away, I had to double take for a second, the girl was Heather, and she was kissing the douche that beat me up yesterday. It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did, I mean, I just met her yesterday, but still I could feel my insides being ripped to shreds, it was like watching my heart being put into a meat grinder, while I was on the outside helpless. They stopped kissing and the douche looked up, "What the fuck are you looking at, faggot?" He snapped at me, pushing me into a wall. I just shook my head and ran, behind me I could hear Heather calling my name, but I ignored her, Fuck them all I thought Fuck this whole shitty school!! I kept running until I reached home, the curtains in mums room were still drawn, she was still asleep, the lazy cow. I burst through the front door and ran into the kitchen, finally slumping in a corner. I put my head in my hands and cried. Why did nothing ever work for me, why did life have to be such a shitty black hole? I looked up and saw the bottle of vodka and opened cupboard from this morning, getting up, I grabbed the bottle and headed upstairs. I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, rummaging through the contents. At the back there were two boxes of sleeping pills, one was half empty, but I took the pills from both and shoved them in my mouth, three at a time, taking two swigs of vodka with each, half way through my phone rang, through blurred eyes I could see Heather's caller ID "What?" I answered, almost falling over "Dylan, she said, sounding concerned "Are you okay? It's just, you looked really upset earlier and- I interrupted her "I'm f-f-f-fucking fiinnee" I told her, but my tongue felt thick, "Dylan" She said, sounding even more concerned now, "Have you been drinking or something? Are you sure you're okay?" I shut my eyes tight, her voice hurt my head "I'm I'm, I'll be good, it, it'll, it'll all be o-over soon, then it will be g-g-good again..." With that I shut my phone and continued downing pills and vodka.
Eventually the room started spinning even more, the brightly coloured towels hurt my eyes, so I closed them again, and when I opened them I was falling. I hit the hard floor with a thud, and felt my body start to shake uncontrollably, somewhere in the distance I heard a doorbell, and felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but all that was gone to me now. Froth started foaming from my mouth and I felt my eyes roll back into my head. I was still shaking, and could hear and feel everything vaguely, I heard knocking on the door, and shouting from downstairs, and I could hear mum leave her room for the first time in forever to answer the door. I heard footsteps running upstairs, doors opening, mum shouting at this person in the house. Then I heard the bathroom door open, a sharp intake of breath, and sobbing, lots and lots of sobbing.
I felt numb as I walked into the bathroom, not caring what clothes I put on, not giving a shit how I looked, or smelled, or felt. Slowly I walked downstairs, and looked in the fridge for something to eat, nothing, I checked the cupboards too, still nothing. I opened the high up cupboard where mum kept all her alcohol, I don't know why I looked in there, but I saw a bottle of vodka and decided it would wake me up at least. Reaching up, I pulled the bottle off its shelf, unscrewed the lid and took a swig or two, it felt like fire down my throat. I replaced the cap and left the bottle on the work-surface with the cupboard door left open. Fuck putting that away I thought, Mum'll only take it out again. I left the house, crossed the street and walked to school, I was forty minutes early, but at least I was alone.
When I got to school, I had my books hit from my hands, I was shoved into lockers, called various things from faggot, to wrist slitting emo faggy cunt face, ...How original. At break I had food thrown at me, and milkshake tipped on my head, and in third lesson some twats decided to pull my chair away as I was about to sit down. Very funny. I got gum stuck in my hair, and was given after-school detention for tomorrow because I forgot to do the history assignment. At the end of the lesson I was one of the last out the class, and Mr Gomshall kept me back, "Dylan, at the start of the year you seemed so enthusiastic, but now you just look exhausted, is everything okay?" I didn't know what to say, but I knew I couldn't tell him the truth, that I hated myself, I hated home, I hated school and generally wanted to die. "I'm fine." I told him. He didn't look convinced, but let me go anyway.
When I got outside the cold air hit me like a brick, the sun was blindingly bright and I had to close my eyes for a second. When I opened them, I was confronted by two people kissing just a few feet away, I had to double take for a second, the girl was Heather, and she was kissing the douche that beat me up yesterday. It shouldn't have affected me as much as it did, I mean, I just met her yesterday, but still I could feel my insides being ripped to shreds, it was like watching my heart being put into a meat grinder, while I was on the outside helpless. They stopped kissing and the douche looked up, "What the fuck are you looking at, faggot?" He snapped at me, pushing me into a wall. I just shook my head and ran, behind me I could hear Heather calling my name, but I ignored her, Fuck them all I thought Fuck this whole shitty school!! I kept running until I reached home, the curtains in mums room were still drawn, she was still asleep, the lazy cow. I burst through the front door and ran into the kitchen, finally slumping in a corner. I put my head in my hands and cried. Why did nothing ever work for me, why did life have to be such a shitty black hole? I looked up and saw the bottle of vodka and opened cupboard from this morning, getting up, I grabbed the bottle and headed upstairs. I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, rummaging through the contents. At the back there were two boxes of sleeping pills, one was half empty, but I took the pills from both and shoved them in my mouth, three at a time, taking two swigs of vodka with each, half way through my phone rang, through blurred eyes I could see Heather's caller ID "What?" I answered, almost falling over "Dylan, she said, sounding concerned "Are you okay? It's just, you looked really upset earlier and- I interrupted her "I'm f-f-f-fucking fiinnee" I told her, but my tongue felt thick, "Dylan" She said, sounding even more concerned now, "Have you been drinking or something? Are you sure you're okay?" I shut my eyes tight, her voice hurt my head "I'm I'm, I'll be good, it, it'll, it'll all be o-over soon, then it will be g-g-good again..." With that I shut my phone and continued downing pills and vodka.
Eventually the room started spinning even more, the brightly coloured towels hurt my eyes, so I closed them again, and when I opened them I was falling. I hit the hard floor with a thud, and felt my body start to shake uncontrollably, somewhere in the distance I heard a doorbell, and felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but all that was gone to me now. Froth started foaming from my mouth and I felt my eyes roll back into my head. I was still shaking, and could hear and feel everything vaguely, I heard knocking on the door, and shouting from downstairs, and I could hear mum leave her room for the first time in forever to answer the door. I heard footsteps running upstairs, doors opening, mum shouting at this person in the house. Then I heard the bathroom door open, a sharp intake of breath, and sobbing, lots and lots of sobbing.
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