FicWad

I stood at his door; wanting to knock, but knowing I can't. I have to I brought my hand up to the door to knock. A gleeful Ryan answered. Great the guys are over.
"Alex!" Ryan said hugging me. God he has to make this hard, doesn't he?
"Hey Ryan." I whispered.
"Hey." Brendon, Jon, and Spencer said at the same time. They were all standing playing guitar hero as usual.
"Hey guys." I faked a smile and waved. "Ryan? Can I uhm-" I tried to hold back tears. "C-can we talk in your room or the kitchen or something?"
"My room sounds good." Ryan said winking.
"Not that. I actually need to talk to you." I rolled my eyes. We walked up the stairs and he shut the door.
"So what did you need to talk to me about?" He asked while sitting down on his bed.
"Ryan I uhm- wow this is alot harder than I thought it would be." I said laughing a little.
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked with worry on his face.
"Ryan I think we should breakup." I said bluntly.
"What why?" He stood up.
"Because Ryan." I bit my lip and crossed my arms.
"'Because' isn't an answer Alexis." He nearly screamed.
"Ryan I'm sorry ok? I just-"
"Just what? What's wrong with us? What's changed? We were fine three days ago? What happened?"
"Let me finish!" I screamed. He immediately shut up and sat back down. "As I was saying..." Just do it. "I just" I had to think of a reason. Use your brain. Fame! Use the fame as an excuse.! "I can't keep up this charade anymore Ryan. I only dated you for the publicity!" My voice cracked a little. He shook his head.
"That's a lie." He said laughing. "Your voice cracks when you lie."
I looked at him sternly, making sure my voice was strong. "I don't love you Ryan! I never loved you! It was for the fame!" Ouch. That must've hurt him. I swear I saw his heart stop.
"Your voice didn't crack." He said with tears in his eyes.
"Because it's not a lie." I said shaking my head. It wasn't long until his lips came crashing down on mine, making me fall onto the door. Tears were falling from both our eyes now. I couldn't help but kiss back.
"Now say you don't fucking love me." He looked at me.
"I don't love you." I said walking out of his room. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and my stomach was burning. This was suppose to make me feel better. This was suppose to make us both feel better. I sat in my car outside his house with my head on the steering wheel crying. I wanted to run back in there and tell him I was sorry. Explain to him that everything I said was wrong. Beg for his forgiveness, but I can't. This was for him. He needed to focus on his career, and I as just 'getting in the way' as Brent had pointed out when they started the band. God I fucking hate Brent. I finally started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Leaving him,his house, and his love in my rearview mirror.

So this is maybe just going to stay a one-shot I don't know. If you guys ask I might make this longer. Anyway r&r please!