Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Life Is Full of False Hopes
The first thing I noticed at lunch was that Ryan was not present. Spencer seemed frustrated, and Jon just looked tired. Jack was trying his best to lighten the mood. "Alex is getting back tomorrow." There wasn't much of a response from those around us. Spencer still looked pissed, and Jon seemed just as tired as he was before. There was no smiling, no happy mummers, nothing. Just silence. Finally Jack sighed. "Fine fuckers, you don't want to lighten the mood then be that way. You can all be depressed together." He stood, though not one of us were sure where he would go off to. He walked down the fence, the expression on his face showing that he didn't want to cross it, but still knew he was going to have to eventually. Spencer whispered something in Jon's ear, and the tired boy rose, wandering after Jack.
It was quite for a minute, but once Spencer had decided it had been quite enough he spoke. "Brendon, did you see my back?" I looked at him and then nodded. "You never asked about my scars."
"Everyone has their secrets. I figured if you wanted me to know then you would tell me." Spencer seemed to be thinking about this for the next few seconds, and we were in complete silence. There was the sound of laugh coming from the tables that other kids were sitting at, though it was faint and too close to the school. I could see Jon talking to Jack in the distance, their mouths curling into smiles as they talked.
"You just can't fucking trust people. You try and try and try, but in the end you will always get hurt." He paused for a moment. "I used to think I could believe in people, that they wouldn't hurt me. And then I met this perfect boy, with the most brilliant green eyes. It was a few years back, when Ryan was willing to go to clubs with me. He would drink like his father and I would try and pick up women. But this night, was after I had decided on my sexuality, and it was the first night I ended up looking for men.
"And I found one; a charming smile and a few cheesy lines. It wasn't a one night thing, no, he had it planned to be all summer long. It started out sweet enough, the boy was kind and caring, his moss colored eyes always scanning mine for any traces of a bad emotion. It wasn't long until he started keeping me from Ryan. He thought every person I talked to was a threat. I started to lose all connection to the outside world, and when I tried to leave, he would lock me in his room. Then came the lashings.
"Every time he thought I was speaking out of term he would take me, slashing at my back with whatever sharp object he had. The more I screamed the more he would do it. When I protested and tried to leave it meant it would just be worse for me later that night."
"But it stopped." I said as I stared at him. He nodded, tilting his head.
"I spent a month locked in his room, and by that time, Ryan had met Jon. He was sure there was something wrong with me, and did everything he could to try and save me in previous weeks. Once he had Jon to help, well, it made it perfect. They got me away from him.
"The point in this story isn't simply to explain how I got my scars, it was to teach you a lesson. You can't trust everyone in this world. No matter what you do."
After school I went back to the music shop to visit Comet. She was there, sitting in the back of the store like always, smiling as she listened to the music that was playing. I made my way past the rows and over to her, sitting at the table. "Hey star-shine, haven't seen you in a while." She said with a small smirk. I couldn't help but feel that she was the grandma everyone wanted to have.
"I've been...busy." I ran a hand through my hair, giving a frustrated sigh.
"Well I'm glad you decided to show up today. As it turns out, today is my last day out in the free world. Tomorrow I'm going to be sent to a retirement home." I stared at her for a few minutes and she shrugged. "I'm old. Can't take care of myself as well as I used to. At least, that's what my children say."
"I'll visit you." We continued to talk, spending what was probably over an hour chatting before I left for home.
It was there that I found the mother like figure of the house rushing out the door with suitcases in her hands, the twins trailing behind. Inside, the father and other two kids stood by the door, waving by as she got in her car and drove off.
"Her mum is dying, so she took her and her real kids to say good bye." Jake said as he noticed the confused look on my face. As soon as the car was completely out of view, the father slammed the door shut, an angry look on his face. I recognized it as one of pure hatred and quickly pushed the two younger boys behind me. He walked over to us, his eyes set in a horrible glare.
"You think you can just come in and ruin this family?" I shook my head, trying to get the sense of dread out of my head.
"No sir." Skin against skin followed by the echoes of a slap. My face stung and I closed my eyes.
"You must think you're so fucking special. Because you don't have your own family, so you can just waltz in and try to destroy something I've worked hard to keep intact?" I stayed silent. "You're a worthless piece of shit, and you need to be taught a lesson." He grabbed onto my hair, pulling me up the stairs. I could feel the other two boy's eyes on me the whole way there, and was thankful when I heard him shut and lock the door to his room after tossing me onto the floor.
He picked me back up again, throwing me onto the bed like a rag-doll. I held still and closed my eyes, biting my lips as I braced myself for what was going to come next. I tried to keep from screaming, my back instantly burning at the sensation. Whenever I let out the slightest of whimper I was pushed 'back in line' and forced to go through even more pain. In more ways then one it reminded me of the story that Spencer had told me earlier in the day.
When he was finished he left the house, presumably so he could go to a bar and drink until he could hardly walk. I stayed on the bed, shaking and crying from the combination of pain and disbelief of what had just happened. It wasn't something that was supposed to happen, but I knew that it was going to happen more than once. With what little strength I had, I moved myself from the bed to the washroom where I locked the door and collapsed onto the cool tiles. I felt sick, and forced myself to sit up so that everything that wanted to exist my body could in a way that would involve hardly any clean up.
My body was burning inside and out, and I forced myself to lose the last of my clothing before crawling into the shower, where I let the burning hot water scold my skin in an attempt to clean it. I stayed curled into myself crying for the next hour, only getting ready to move when the water went cold. I forced myself to get up, drying off and cleaning myself up before getting dressed and walking down to where the other two boys were. They were sitting on the couch, watching cartoons perfectly unscathed. I gave a sigh of relief, sitting next to them. Jerry climbed onto my lap.
"We could hear you crying." He spoke in his child like voice, and I sighed a little.
"Has he ever done anything to either of you?" They both shook their heads no. "Good. The next time he's that angry, I want you to run up to your rooms and keep the door shut. Okay?" They both muttered yeses. I stayed with them as they continued to watch cartoons, deciding that I would keep him as far away from the kids as I could.
No matter what it meant for me.
~~~~~
Awh, and we were all thinking it would get better for him. Frowny face. Anyway, thank you all for the lovely reviews last chapter, I'm hoping this chapter wasn't that much of a disappointment. I realize there's a lot of stuff going on, and it'll all work it's way into the story later on.
There's a method to my madness, I swear!
On another note, I decided not to do my 'One in Seven Billion' oneshot, because there is no way I would have enough time to get it updated when I really want it out, and if it's not out on a certain day then it just won't have the same affect. I will, however, be putting out a few Halloween oneshots soon. Even if their a little late.
On top of that, I have a few surprise stories I'm getting ready to unleash for all to read. Let's hope that no one will decided to do some of the one's I'm thinking before I put them out. (It's happened a few times before.)
I guess, be excited for the things that will hopefully be up soon? And, I've gotten a little more time to write, so that's another bonus.
-xoxo Pansy.
It was quite for a minute, but once Spencer had decided it had been quite enough he spoke. "Brendon, did you see my back?" I looked at him and then nodded. "You never asked about my scars."
"Everyone has their secrets. I figured if you wanted me to know then you would tell me." Spencer seemed to be thinking about this for the next few seconds, and we were in complete silence. There was the sound of laugh coming from the tables that other kids were sitting at, though it was faint and too close to the school. I could see Jon talking to Jack in the distance, their mouths curling into smiles as they talked.
"You just can't fucking trust people. You try and try and try, but in the end you will always get hurt." He paused for a moment. "I used to think I could believe in people, that they wouldn't hurt me. And then I met this perfect boy, with the most brilliant green eyes. It was a few years back, when Ryan was willing to go to clubs with me. He would drink like his father and I would try and pick up women. But this night, was after I had decided on my sexuality, and it was the first night I ended up looking for men.
"And I found one; a charming smile and a few cheesy lines. It wasn't a one night thing, no, he had it planned to be all summer long. It started out sweet enough, the boy was kind and caring, his moss colored eyes always scanning mine for any traces of a bad emotion. It wasn't long until he started keeping me from Ryan. He thought every person I talked to was a threat. I started to lose all connection to the outside world, and when I tried to leave, he would lock me in his room. Then came the lashings.
"Every time he thought I was speaking out of term he would take me, slashing at my back with whatever sharp object he had. The more I screamed the more he would do it. When I protested and tried to leave it meant it would just be worse for me later that night."
"But it stopped." I said as I stared at him. He nodded, tilting his head.
"I spent a month locked in his room, and by that time, Ryan had met Jon. He was sure there was something wrong with me, and did everything he could to try and save me in previous weeks. Once he had Jon to help, well, it made it perfect. They got me away from him.
"The point in this story isn't simply to explain how I got my scars, it was to teach you a lesson. You can't trust everyone in this world. No matter what you do."
After school I went back to the music shop to visit Comet. She was there, sitting in the back of the store like always, smiling as she listened to the music that was playing. I made my way past the rows and over to her, sitting at the table. "Hey star-shine, haven't seen you in a while." She said with a small smirk. I couldn't help but feel that she was the grandma everyone wanted to have.
"I've been...busy." I ran a hand through my hair, giving a frustrated sigh.
"Well I'm glad you decided to show up today. As it turns out, today is my last day out in the free world. Tomorrow I'm going to be sent to a retirement home." I stared at her for a few minutes and she shrugged. "I'm old. Can't take care of myself as well as I used to. At least, that's what my children say."
"I'll visit you." We continued to talk, spending what was probably over an hour chatting before I left for home.
It was there that I found the mother like figure of the house rushing out the door with suitcases in her hands, the twins trailing behind. Inside, the father and other two kids stood by the door, waving by as she got in her car and drove off.
"Her mum is dying, so she took her and her real kids to say good bye." Jake said as he noticed the confused look on my face. As soon as the car was completely out of view, the father slammed the door shut, an angry look on his face. I recognized it as one of pure hatred and quickly pushed the two younger boys behind me. He walked over to us, his eyes set in a horrible glare.
"You think you can just come in and ruin this family?" I shook my head, trying to get the sense of dread out of my head.
"No sir." Skin against skin followed by the echoes of a slap. My face stung and I closed my eyes.
"You must think you're so fucking special. Because you don't have your own family, so you can just waltz in and try to destroy something I've worked hard to keep intact?" I stayed silent. "You're a worthless piece of shit, and you need to be taught a lesson." He grabbed onto my hair, pulling me up the stairs. I could feel the other two boy's eyes on me the whole way there, and was thankful when I heard him shut and lock the door to his room after tossing me onto the floor.
He picked me back up again, throwing me onto the bed like a rag-doll. I held still and closed my eyes, biting my lips as I braced myself for what was going to come next. I tried to keep from screaming, my back instantly burning at the sensation. Whenever I let out the slightest of whimper I was pushed 'back in line' and forced to go through even more pain. In more ways then one it reminded me of the story that Spencer had told me earlier in the day.
When he was finished he left the house, presumably so he could go to a bar and drink until he could hardly walk. I stayed on the bed, shaking and crying from the combination of pain and disbelief of what had just happened. It wasn't something that was supposed to happen, but I knew that it was going to happen more than once. With what little strength I had, I moved myself from the bed to the washroom where I locked the door and collapsed onto the cool tiles. I felt sick, and forced myself to sit up so that everything that wanted to exist my body could in a way that would involve hardly any clean up.
My body was burning inside and out, and I forced myself to lose the last of my clothing before crawling into the shower, where I let the burning hot water scold my skin in an attempt to clean it. I stayed curled into myself crying for the next hour, only getting ready to move when the water went cold. I forced myself to get up, drying off and cleaning myself up before getting dressed and walking down to where the other two boys were. They were sitting on the couch, watching cartoons perfectly unscathed. I gave a sigh of relief, sitting next to them. Jerry climbed onto my lap.
"We could hear you crying." He spoke in his child like voice, and I sighed a little.
"Has he ever done anything to either of you?" They both shook their heads no. "Good. The next time he's that angry, I want you to run up to your rooms and keep the door shut. Okay?" They both muttered yeses. I stayed with them as they continued to watch cartoons, deciding that I would keep him as far away from the kids as I could.
No matter what it meant for me.
~~~~~
Awh, and we were all thinking it would get better for him. Frowny face. Anyway, thank you all for the lovely reviews last chapter, I'm hoping this chapter wasn't that much of a disappointment. I realize there's a lot of stuff going on, and it'll all work it's way into the story later on.
There's a method to my madness, I swear!
On another note, I decided not to do my 'One in Seven Billion' oneshot, because there is no way I would have enough time to get it updated when I really want it out, and if it's not out on a certain day then it just won't have the same affect. I will, however, be putting out a few Halloween oneshots soon. Even if their a little late.
On top of that, I have a few surprise stories I'm getting ready to unleash for all to read. Let's hope that no one will decided to do some of the one's I'm thinking before I put them out. (It's happened a few times before.)
I guess, be excited for the things that will hopefully be up soon? And, I've gotten a little more time to write, so that's another bonus.
-xoxo Pansy.
Sign up to rate and review this story