FicWad

Midnight passed with no appearance from Brendon. I'd gotten a hold of Jon, Ryan and Spencer. None of them had seen Brendon. Worry had passed and turned in to anger which faded in to sadness but as I got tired anger resurfaced and I felt myself hating him for doing this to me. He knew I'd be worried. He knew I was trying to get a hold of him.

I'd made him mad but I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve to feel like this.

I was sitting up in bed, trying to entertain myself with anything. Nothing was working. I'd gone through everything in our bedroom, making a mess of our things. Items were strewn about the room and I'd still be going through things if I hadn't gotten cold and decided to crawl under the blankets. I checked my cell phone every few seconds, hoping for a message from Brendon.

Every time my phone vibrated and it turned out to be someone else I'd get angrier.

I checked the clock again. 4 am. Where the fuck was Brendon?

I heard the door open and then shortly after there was a crash. I jumped out of bed, heading towards the noise. Was it Brendon? It had to be.

I stopped in surprise as I saw Jon and Ryan holding Brendon up. "We found him." Jon said, which was obvious.

"He... what? Is he okay?" I asked, moving out of the way as Jon and Ryan steered Brendon towards the bedroom. Brendon was stumbling along, knocking the guys in to walls.

"He's drunk. We found him at the bar." Jon stated.

"Drunk?" I asked, shocked. He had ignored me for alcohol?

All three boys disappeared in to the bedroom as I stood in the hallway, horrified. Jon reappeared, "Want us to stay over? He's a handful when he's drunk."

Ryan appeared next to him nodding, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind."

I stared at the bedroom door for a few minutes in a daze before responding. "Um, I think I'm gonna pack a bag to go to my mothers tonight." My voice broke. "If, um, if you guys could stay here with him tonight that would be great. Thank you."

I knew they were staring at me as I walked in to the bedroom, shutting the door behind me but i didn't care. I had to do this. If this was how Brendon was going to be then I couldn't stay. It hurt to be alone. It hurt to know he had lied. He wasn't out with friends, he was out drinking away his anger towards me.

Brendon was laying on the bed but he jumped up as I entered. "Kacccyyy." He said, drawling my name out.

"Yeah Brendon?" I asked, feeling my anger subside. Now I just felt numb. I didn't know how to feel.

"Come here baby." He slurred, sitting up a little.

I shook my head, fighting back tears. "I hate seeing you like this." I admitted, knowing he probably wouldn't remember a thing in the morning. Why not let him know how I feel?

"Seeing me how?" Brendon asked loudly.

"Drunk. I hate seeing you drunk Brendon. I'm worth more than this." I told him, my voice quivering.

Brendon slowly stood up, stumbling. "I'm not drunk. I'm just a little tipsy." He defended himself. "You wouldn't tell me the truth. Why couldn't you tell me the truth?"

"Are you trying to justify your actions by blaming me?" I asked, disgusted.

"Just tell me Kacy." Brendon was now standing in front of me, controlling his voice slightly. He was still swaying though. "Why couldn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to stress you out." I said, feeling small and insignificant once again. Was this really all of my fault?

"That's a god damn lie!" Brendon yelled, surprising me. "Don't lie to me." He said in a threatening tone. I had never before felt fear when it came to Brendon but he was starting to scare me now.

"I didn't want you to know!" I yelled back, finding that my fear just drove my anger out. "I didn't want you to know that i was having problems. I didn't want you to try to stop me from going to school. I hate when you try to tell me what I can and cannot do. I'm going back to school." I informed him.

"No, you really aren't." Brendon said, seeming to sober up as he stood without swaying. "You don't like me telling you what to do?" He asked, eyes narrowing. "Then stop being a complete idiot. I'm whats keeping you here." He stated. "I stayed with you in the hospital. I kept you safe. I'm keeping you safe. If you had it your way then you would never make it in this world. You're too damn stupid."

The tears I had been holding back filled my eyes quickly. "Is that really what you think about me?"

"Isn't the truth what you've been aiming for?" Brendon asked, looking at me with hate. "I feel like I need to protect you because you're too fucking stupid to protect yourself." The alcohol was doing stuff to his head. He felt like he should stop. He shouldn't be saying this. But he said it anyway.

I turned away from Brendon, wiping my tears away quickly. "Jon and Ryan are staying here to look after you." I mumbled as I walked to the closet.

As Brendon walked through the clutter of the room he scowled, "What the fuck happened to our bedroom?"

I didn't answer him, grabbing a few pairs of jeans. I felt Brendon's hand on my arm and I tried to shake him off. He just tightened his hold. "What?" I snapped.

"What are you doing?" He asked, stumbling slightly as he tried to stand up straight once again.

"I'm grabbing some clothing so that I can go to my mothers. I'll be back for the rest of my stuff when you're sober." My hands were full as I came out of the closet, Brendon following me closely.

"You aren't leaving." Brendon stated, sounding confused.

"Yes I am. I'm going to my mothers." I told Brendon, trying to keep my tone confident even though I no longer felt confident in Brendon's presence.

"No you aren't." Brendon responded, grabbing my arm. I pulled away from him angrily but he kept holding, pulling me towards him. I dropped everything I had been holding on to the floor as I stumbled and fell against him.

"Let go of me."

Brendon leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. It was the most unromantic moment I had ever shared with him. His breath smelled horribly of alcohol. "Let me go." I said, through gritted teeth.

"I'm tired baby. Can't we just go to sleep?" Brendon begged, grip loosening though he was still holding me against his body.

"I can't stay Brendon." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't get angry. He was drunk though. I had no idea how he would react to anything I said when under the influence of alcohol.

"Please?" Brendon begged, pressing his lips against mine once again. I shoved him away, trying to make it clear that I was in no mood for a make out session.

"Come on Kacy, I just need to be with you tonight. I got angry. Don't take my words to heart. It's the vodka talking babe." Brendon stated, steering me back. I fell against the bed but instantly stood, shoving Brendon away from me. He stumbled but caught himself before falling. I was glad. I didn't want to hurt him. I just wanted him to stop touching me.

"I'm leaving." I whispered. He was making this so hard. He was making me forget why I was angry. I just wanted to be with him. I was mad that he went off and got drunk when I needed him though. I needed him.

"Stop being a bitch and just come to bed." Brendon said, getting angry once again.

"No." I said, trying to recollect the things I had dropped previously.

"Now." Brendon yelled, grabbing my hair to pull me up.

I cried out in pain, surprised by the action. "Let go!" I yelled, whimpering in pain.

Brendon immediately let go and as I glared at him he looked like he didn't understand what had just happened. "I just wanted you to come to bed..." He whispered, stepping away from me.

I shook my head. "I know." I admitted. "But you're drunk and I'm not staying."

The door opened and Jon peaked inside, "Everything okay? I heard a shout." He said, glancing at us both.

"Everything is f-" I started but Brendon cut me off.

"Let me take you to your mothers at least." He offered, sitting on the bed as he started getting dizzy.

"You're drunk Brendon. You aren't driving anywhere." I said.

"I'll drive you to your mothers." Jon offered.

The room fell silent and Brendon stared at the wall behind me. I shrugged and grabbed my things, "Thanks Jon."

As I walked from the room with Jon I heard something that made me glance back. To my horror I noticed that Brendon was sobbing. He looked like a broken man.

"I-" I almost said that I needed to stay but another glance at Brendon made me realize that leaving was what was best. I wasn't leaving forever but tonight, tonight Brendon was drunk. Staying would bring nothing good upon us.

"He will be okay." Jon whispered.



**

(Anyone still following the story? What do you guys think? I'm sorry, my updates have become sporadic. I kind of lost track of this story but I've rewritten the story line and I'm attempting to get back on track... Oh and as a side question, would anyone want smut in this? I was contemplating it but it's really up to readers, it's not severely important to the story line. So smut or no smut? Thanks for feedback!)