FicWad

Kids,this is it;not only the penultimate chapter of this ridiculous story,but also the final story of how I met thy mother.

-Yes!Finally!

-It's about time,dad!

Anyways,it all started november 5th 2011...

It was afternoon in New York,and MacLauren's pub was filled with people.Tedious Mopey was whining as usual to not only his friends Barmy Simpleton and Marshmallow Sony-Ericsson,but also to the Powerpuff girls;Blecch!-om,Boobless and Bittercunt.

-Waaahhh,I will never find a woman!! Ted said.
I will die lonely and without anyone!!

-Awwwww,don't say that,Ted. said Bubbles.
You'll find someone eventually!

-No,I won't! I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (drinks water) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (gasp!) ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever find that perfect girl! ... ... ... Ever!

-Ted,what you need is a prostitute! Barney said.
Or,better yet,I know a wizard that could revive a woman from a graveyard and make her have sex with you.

-No,I don't wanna!

-Hey,girls Butternut said to her sistaz.
Why don't we set Ted up with someone we know?

-That's a FAAAABOOUUULLLLLLOUUUSSSSSSS idea,Butterclop! Blessom said.
Ted,you're going on a date!ž

-Really?ME??????????????????????

-Yah!

-OMFGosh,thanx grlz!

And so,the other night,I was waiting at MacLalala's for this perfect woman the grills set me up with.Then she came.

-Hello,there.You Ted Mosbee?

And then I came!This woman was looking fine as Hell!She had long curly red hair,long beautiful legs,big boobs,a red suit to die for and the best hips ever!Her name was Sara Bellum.

-Yes,that's me,Ted.You're Sara?

-Yes.

-Then let's go in.

Kids,it was the best date ever.We laughed,we talked for hours,we stretched out both of our legs at the same time trip over a fat 10-year old kid.It was like,totally awesome.Then,I walked her over to my apartment...

-So,Sara,wanna come in?

-No thanks,I have an early meeting tomorrow.

-Awwwwwwwwww,but I wanna have sex!

-Sorry,maybe next time.

-No!No next time!I wanna have sex NOW!

-No.

-OKay.

Ted went up to his apartment,but then he came back,and pulled Miss Bellum in the corner of a dark alley.

-NO!Not okay!I haven't had sex in 5 months!

-Wow,Ted!Even zit-faced McDonald's clerks get more action than you do! Miss Bellum replied.

-Yes,well,that's about to change!PREPARE TO BE RAPED!

-OH noes!Not rape!

-Yes,rape!!

Ted pinned Miss Bellum down to the floor,ripped of her clothes and panties,took off his shirt and pants,and put his cock into her va-jay-jay.

-Hnnngh!Urrrrghh!Yaagh! Ted grunted.
Damn,you'd think a woman like you wouldn't be so stinkin' tight!

-That's my belly-button,idiot.

-Oh.

Ted then put his cock into the right place and held down Miss Bellum who was resisting him.

-No,please,not tonight,I have a headache!

-No way,Jose!I'm sexing you up right now,and that's it!

Ted then turned Miss Bellum and started invading her ass like Germany invaded Poland in WW2.

-Oh yes!YEs!That feels good!

-Please,Ted,stop raping me?Pretty please with sugar on top?

-NEVAH!

Ted grunted as he wildly fucked the inside of Miss Bellum's buttocks,then suddenly--

PRRRRRRRRRRR!

-Eeewww,did you fart?!

-Yes!I knew I shouldn't have eaten that burrito!

PRRRRRRR!PRRR!

-Meh,whatevs,I'm still gonna rape you!

-NOOOOOOO!

PRRRRRR!

Ted then pulled up Miss Bellum up to his crotch and thrusted his pulsating cock down her throat.

-Mmmfff!¨Mmmmff! Miss Bellum tried to resist,but failed.

But as she tasted Ted's gigantic cock,she began to enjoy it.

-Mmmff!Mmmmff!Mmmmmmm!!

She grabbed his cock and started sucking on it like crazy.

-Oh,yeah,that's the stuff! Ted said pleasingly.

Soon after he grabbed his cock and came all over Miss Bellum's body.His sperm slowly dripped down her body as Ted put his clothes back on.

-Ted,will you call me? Miss Bellum asked.

-Yeah,sure.

But he never did.



5 weeks later,Miss Bellum came over to Ted and announced she was pregnant with his child.

And,that kids,is the story of how I met your mother.

-Wait,that's it?

-Yep.That's it.That's the whole story.

-Dad,you've been talking for 7 years now promising us how all those stories will eventually lead up to meeting mom,but they didn't!All those stories were irrelevant!

-Yeah,well...

-Well,what?

-Um...wanna hear the story of how I your uncle Marvin?

-Yeah,sure.

-But this time,it better get right to the point!

-Yes,of course!See,it was back in 2005...