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"No Bren, DON'T. He's gone for good." 17 year old Brendon Urie kept repeatedly telling himself. Still, it had no effect. He was still very upset, as shown by his pillow, damp from his tears. He still hadn't gotten over the fact that his (or what he thought was) his soul mate, Ryan Ross. They had been good friends, and had a great band. Panic! At The Disco, it was called. That is, until their second album came out and Ryan turned into more of a dick than usual. Ryan was more hostile and moody, and often high. Brendon had worked up the courage to tell Ryan he loved him a few months ago. But Ryan obviously didn't feel the same way, because he left the band within a week after Brendon's confession. He said "we've just got musical differences, is all." But Brendon knew better. Ryan had left because he was too creeped put by the fact that Brendon was gay, and he was gay for him. So Ryan took his crappy music, their bass player Jon Walker, Brendon's soul, and left without warning. Brendon still had the scars on his wrists from when he found the note on his bed in the morning;
"Dear Bren and Spence,
Jon and I decided to leave and make our own music. Sorry to leave you guys hanging, but after Pretty Odd we both realized that this is the kind of stuff we like, not some circus crap. I mean, the makeup was cool, but the music just isn't my style. And Spence, we've been friends for so long, I hope we can stay that way. Same for you Brendon, I hope we can be just friends.
Sincerely,
Ryan."
Brendon's eyes Welled up with tears and he let out a mournful sob. Brendon brushed off a large teardrop that had run down his nose and dropped onto the note. He steadied his breathing and carefully folded u
p the note. He stared at it for a while, and then reached for his razor blade he kept in his notebook for times like this. His hand hovered over the blade, and he wondered if he should pick it up. Before he could decide, there was a gentle knocking on his bedroom door.
"Bren, it's me." Whispered Spencer Smith, his bandmate/ best friend. As Brendon struggled to make himself look 
presentable, Spencer rapped on the door again. "Bren, I know you're awake. Please let me in." He whispered. Brendon got to his feet and unlocked the door. He swung it open and acted as if nothing has happened. "Hey, why are you up this late?" He asked nonchalantly. Spencer focused  his deep blue eyes intently on Brendon's coffee brown ones. Spencer shook his head.
"Brendon, you can't fool me." He said, stepping into the dark room. Brendon heaved a sigh. "Spence it's just..." Spencer put a finger to his lips. "I don't wanna hear it. It's over and done, there's no going back. Now, lay down." Spencer said sternly, pointing to the bed. Brendon normally wouldn't like being bossed around like that, but coming from Spencer...it's okay. Brendon never told Spencer that he was gay, but he figured now would be a good time to do it. Brendon opened his mouth to tell him, and about how he missed Ryan, but Spencer shushed him. Brendon sighed again and lay down on his pillow. Spencer sighed too, but it was more pity than sorrow. He laid down next to Brendon.
"So, what are we gonna do now? Be don't have a bass player, or a guitar player." Brendon asked, using a lot of willpower not to start sobbing. Spencer shrugged. "I don't know about the band, but we'll figure it out Bren. I know we will. But right now, we need some sleep." Spencer said. He started to get up, but then his eyes stopped on the razor blade on the nightstand. Spencer's brows furrowed as he spun around.
"You are NOT cutting yourself, are you?" He asked, slightly outraged. Brendon cowered back into his pillow a little, taken aback by Spencer's anger. He didn't answer, and tried his hardest not to look into Spencer's furious, but still quite attractive eyes. Seeing Brendon's eyes get ready again, his expression softened as he laid down beside Brendon again. Brendon looked mildly surprised. "You're not going to bed?" He asked. "No, I'm staying right here to make sure you don't Self harm yourself anymore." Spencer replied, tossing the covers over himself. Brendon chuckled as he moved closer to Spencer, and both boys fell asleep instantaneously.