Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fixing the Un-Fixable
Disinfectant
1 review"I saw Gee’s grip on him fasten like a seatbelt, as though I was a danger that he had to protect Mikey from." FRIKEY
0Unrated
Chapter Seven - Disinfectant
A/N: I would just like to say that I’m extremely, excruciatingly sorry to anyone who reads this (if anyone at all), that this has taken longer than the other chapters. As much as I’d love to be able to say that it’s down to me sweating blood over this chapter I can’t; it’s mainly down to the fact that, at times, being a fourteen-year-old girl sucks, especially when your first boyfriend dumps you. Anyway, before this turns into an X-Factor worthy sob-story, on with the show!
Frank’s POV
No. He couldn’t really think that. He couldn’t really think that I feel anything less than love for him. Could he? Wait. Hold up a second. He wants me to love him? My perfect, fragile, beautiful angel actually wants to be mine? Before an overjoyed, school-girl grin could infect my lips and a cringe worthy giggle could flutter from my throat, I realised the circumstances under which I had learnt of his welcomed feelings towards my unworthy self. I think that I can sum up the situation in a single sentence; Mikey was upset because of me and Gerard was furious because of Mikey, therefore my life expectancy had just dramatically decreased.
Mikey’s inconsolable cries shot through my heavy heart like poisoned spears seeking out a hated enemy and his eyes made the knot in my throat tighten until it felt as though I was about to meet my maker at the hands of a merciless hangman. Yet at the same time his eyes were beautiful. The kind of beautiful that you sometimes get in a song or poem; it pains you but you can’t get enough of it. His tears adorned his eyes like blood diamonds; stunning yet undeniably hideous and deadly. I vowed there and then that one day I would make them tears of joys, into perfect diamonds of the highest quality, then he really would be perfect; my perfect angel with the diamond eyes. But before I could transform his cyanide to honey, I had to get his sorrow to stop and persuade his brother that I’m not ready to die just yet.
I practically flew to the bed where Gerard was rocking his baby brother in a failing attempt at stunting the tears that agonized both myself and Gerard. That’s the thing with Gee, he never thinks things through before he plunges the knife in where Mikey’s concerned. I’m not saying that I blame him or resent him for it, if anything I’m grateful that Mikes has such an effective protector, but Gerard can get so blinded by his love for Mikey and hatred of aforementioned Way’s pain that he’ll try to fix the problem before he even knows what the problem actually is. The dangerous, calculating look in Gerard’s flint-like eyes told me in no uncertain terms that, unless someone did something and did it quick, I was about to fall victim to his blindness. I knew that I’d have to be that someone, if not for my own sake, then for Mikey’s; I didn’t think that he’d be able to cope seeing his parent-like big brother in one of his rages, especially if he did enjoy our kiss more than I believed he would.
“I don’t hate you, Mikes! I could never even think of hating you!” My solid statement of fact came out as a strangled plea at both of the Way’s nestled together dependently on the bed. I can’t possibly put into words how much I longed to be in Gerard’s position; supporting and soothing my Mikey, clutching him tightly to my chest with my body cushioning the tears that were bound to stop just because my presence was enough to cheer him up. But I can’t even kiss him without causing a lifetime’s worth of anguish and agony, so how the hell am I meant to help him?
I saw him peek up at me weakly, like a baby rabbit sticking it’s innocent head out of it’s safe haven of a burrow and searching for foxes, finally daring to separate his face from Gee’s sodden t-shirt. I saw Gee’s grip on him fasten like a seatbelt, as though I was a danger that he had to protect Mikey from. I felt my heart force my lips into a reassuring smile, my head telling my heart that it was what Mikes needed to see, but Gerard just looked fiercely appalled that my heavy heart was light enough for my mouth to pick up in a smile.
“Get. The fuck. Out.” If there wasn’t so much resting on the outcome of this, then maybe I would have obeyed Gerard’s voice which was strained by the fact that, due to Mikey’s placement, he couldn’t get up and give me the physical beating I deserved. Ignoring the raw, unbridled fear that roller-coastered through my body, I firmly shook my head. “Get the fuck out Iero and stay the hell away from my brother!”
“Gee, stop it!” Mikey’s desperate voice yelled in tones of such forcefulness and certainty that all three of us paused in a stunned silence. Mikes was notorious for being quiet and for not saying when something bothered him until too late; so the fact that I had made him speak out made every atom of my being bristle with both pride and pleasure, but also sorrow that we had caused him even more distress. “Please. Just stop it. Leave Frankie alone.” This time his tone, although a lot quieter than his earlier dominant yell, had taken on an almost threatening quality, much like Gerard’s.
I looked to Gerard to see him fighting off his own shock and pleasure at his little brother finding the voice that he had had to be for him, our eyes caught to flash with some sort of agreement of a truce. Gee would do anything for Mikes, even forgive the fucker that had caused his little brother pain.
“Okay, Mikes.” He consented softly, squeezing Mikey’s shoulder twice as he started retracting into himself once more in the form of sobbing.
“I don’t hate you, Mikes.” I saw him gaze up at me, his gorgeous portals of vision filled with hope and some sort of longing to trust my honest words. Fuck. Was it really that bad? I knew that Mikey had a hard time finding trust, but had he truly lost his, what I believed to be, strong and vital trust in me? Had I really fucked up badly enough to let him believe that he was more hated than he actually was; that I hated him?
Gerard cautiously pulled away from his slightly, so that they Mikey was sat next to him on the covers instead of on him and I knew what Gerard was, pleasantly surprisingly, telling me to do. Slowly and gently I placed a loving hand onto Mikey’s quivering shoulder, my small palm easily covering his whole shoulder and overlapping well over both sides; more sickeningly still, I could feel the intricate details of each precious bone that my fingers dusted over. How had I not noticed him getting so skinny? I mean, sure he’s naturally slim but, looking at him them I was sure that if he bent over he would just snap in half like twig under a dog’s huge paw. I gently ran a helplessly curious hand down his back, ever mindful of Gerard’s icy iron stare; it was as though he expected me to smash Mikey’s face in at any given moment. Not that I’d have been able to, Gee would’ve torn out my jugular with his bare hands the nanosecond my foolish fingers formed a fist. I started to feel physically sick. The inquisitive tips of my probing fingers brushed gently over every delicate bone in his paper-thin back. Fuck, I loved him so much and to see him in such a pitiful state made me feel like I was in his situation. And the fact that I hadn’t even noticed his dramatic decrease in size made me feel like I wanted to burn in hell just to escape the searing emotional pain of such an inexcusable failure.
I saw his deep, meaningful and lost eyes searching my face for some kind of sign and realised that I’d been in a state of deep contemplation, whilst slowly stroking him, for several broken minutes. He looked desperate for me to say something to take his pain away, yet petrified of rejection. The result of which was a very innocent, very cute and very heart-smashing facial expression that caused my eyes to melt into tears. I blinked them quickly away and offered him a small, caring smile.
“I don’t hate you, Mikey. I could never hate someone so perfect, so kind, so wonderful, so sexy.” I purred in a tone I had never used with such sincerity; yeah, I’d been seductive before, but never had I truly meant the things I’d said to get what I wanted. My statement was met with confused (and in Mikey’s case, awestruck) stares from the Way brothers.
Well, if I had nothing else, at least I had the Iero charm. Ha.
I motion for Mikey to stand up, a genuine look of hopeful reassurance super-glued to my face, his own face reflecting an uncertainty that made me regret my last few words of cheeky flirtyness. I saw him look to Gee for guidance, but he was just staring emotionlessly and trying to decide if I was being serious or not. Fuck. Had my actions that day really cost me the trust of both Way brothers? Yeah, I had a reputation as a joker, but did they really think that I was capable of messing around in a situation like this; mere hours after someone that I love with all of my black heart had tried to rob the world of himself?
I nervously leant over to Gee so that my dry mouth was right by his ear.
“Trust me.” I whispered beseechingly, quiet enough for Mikey to deaf to my words.
Gee tilted his head up so that his reply would have immediate passage into my anxious mind and not into his confused little brother’s
“Hurt him and I will rip your balls off.”
I nodded hurriedly, not for a split second doubting that he actually would/could make good of his deadly serious threat. I knew then that I’d have to tread carefully and absolutely not let myself fuck up again; for both Mikey’s sake and for the sake of my balls. I backed up into the centre of the cell-like room, all the while holding Mikey’s intense gaze with my own, encouraging eyes.
“Mikes, c’mere.” I mumbled in a way that made it perfectly clear that he was in control of the situation and that I wasn’t fucking around with his precious, bleeding heart. He broke our eye-locked state to turn back to his big brother, but he had already started to stand despite the shakiness and uncertainty of his movements.
“Go on, Mikes. I won’t let him hurt you.” As much as it stung like antiseptic on my eyeballs, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I had Gee’s hard-to-gain blessing. Not to mention that my beloved balls were no longer an immediate risk from a certain over-protective big brother’s surprisingly strong hands.
He stepped tentatively to be opposite me, his tears shining on the edge of his eyelashes like viciously sharp daggers, ready to obliterate every part of my being at any given moment. We looked at each other for an eternity of short seconds, taking in each other’s stance and facial expression. I reached my persuading arms out and looked firmly into his hopeful, yet cutely disbelieving, eyes. It was obvious that he needed some encouragement to do what we both so urgently wanted and needed. So I stepped forward and embraced him in a hug that was brimming with love, but was also possible to break apart from if he so wished. I leaned my face towards his own, invaluable masterpiece.
And that was all he needed.
He wrapped his arms tightly, almost lustfully, around my neck and before I even knew what he was doing, our lips were crashing together like two puzzle pieces that looked right but didn’t quite fit. Before I could begin to process where may hands were going (and judging by Mikey’s pleasurable moan and Gerard’s swift exit from the room, they were in far from innocent places) I had pulled him down onto the bed, me laying carefully on top of him. His hands pulled excitedly on my hair and our tongues were becoming almost as intertwined as we were. I was starting to see a surprisingly forceful and lusty side of Mikes that I could never have guessed existed beneath his shy personality; and it was a side to him that I liked, that turned me on beyond belief, that made me feel truly blessed that I was the first to be seeing it.
Our harmonic ecstasy was too quickly stomped out when we heard a car pull up outside; his parents were home. I sat up, as did he, collecting the memory of how my shirt had gotten torn by Mikey’s eager hands and how I was going to explain it to my mother. Oh well, at least I wouldn’t have to explain why my jean zip had been ripped from it’s placement like Mikey would have to.
He collapsed into me and I cradled him, looking down to see a sight that I had almost forgotten; Mikey was smiling. Not a fake smile plastered onto his face to please others, nor was it a smile of momentary well-being. It was a smile that screamed happiness, a smile that I would be seeing a lot more of.
“I love you, Frank Iero.” There was no uncertainty, no anguish, no pain; just rampant tenderness and adoration. It was enough to mend the scars that the day had caused and even started to disinfect the wounds on my soul that living life without a happy Mikey had inflicted upon me.
“I love you too, Michael Way.”
A/N; Thanks for reading, please review. :)
A/N: I would just like to say that I’m extremely, excruciatingly sorry to anyone who reads this (if anyone at all), that this has taken longer than the other chapters. As much as I’d love to be able to say that it’s down to me sweating blood over this chapter I can’t; it’s mainly down to the fact that, at times, being a fourteen-year-old girl sucks, especially when your first boyfriend dumps you. Anyway, before this turns into an X-Factor worthy sob-story, on with the show!
Frank’s POV
No. He couldn’t really think that. He couldn’t really think that I feel anything less than love for him. Could he? Wait. Hold up a second. He wants me to love him? My perfect, fragile, beautiful angel actually wants to be mine? Before an overjoyed, school-girl grin could infect my lips and a cringe worthy giggle could flutter from my throat, I realised the circumstances under which I had learnt of his welcomed feelings towards my unworthy self. I think that I can sum up the situation in a single sentence; Mikey was upset because of me and Gerard was furious because of Mikey, therefore my life expectancy had just dramatically decreased.
Mikey’s inconsolable cries shot through my heavy heart like poisoned spears seeking out a hated enemy and his eyes made the knot in my throat tighten until it felt as though I was about to meet my maker at the hands of a merciless hangman. Yet at the same time his eyes were beautiful. The kind of beautiful that you sometimes get in a song or poem; it pains you but you can’t get enough of it. His tears adorned his eyes like blood diamonds; stunning yet undeniably hideous and deadly. I vowed there and then that one day I would make them tears of joys, into perfect diamonds of the highest quality, then he really would be perfect; my perfect angel with the diamond eyes. But before I could transform his cyanide to honey, I had to get his sorrow to stop and persuade his brother that I’m not ready to die just yet.
I practically flew to the bed where Gerard was rocking his baby brother in a failing attempt at stunting the tears that agonized both myself and Gerard. That’s the thing with Gee, he never thinks things through before he plunges the knife in where Mikey’s concerned. I’m not saying that I blame him or resent him for it, if anything I’m grateful that Mikes has such an effective protector, but Gerard can get so blinded by his love for Mikey and hatred of aforementioned Way’s pain that he’ll try to fix the problem before he even knows what the problem actually is. The dangerous, calculating look in Gerard’s flint-like eyes told me in no uncertain terms that, unless someone did something and did it quick, I was about to fall victim to his blindness. I knew that I’d have to be that someone, if not for my own sake, then for Mikey’s; I didn’t think that he’d be able to cope seeing his parent-like big brother in one of his rages, especially if he did enjoy our kiss more than I believed he would.
“I don’t hate you, Mikes! I could never even think of hating you!” My solid statement of fact came out as a strangled plea at both of the Way’s nestled together dependently on the bed. I can’t possibly put into words how much I longed to be in Gerard’s position; supporting and soothing my Mikey, clutching him tightly to my chest with my body cushioning the tears that were bound to stop just because my presence was enough to cheer him up. But I can’t even kiss him without causing a lifetime’s worth of anguish and agony, so how the hell am I meant to help him?
I saw him peek up at me weakly, like a baby rabbit sticking it’s innocent head out of it’s safe haven of a burrow and searching for foxes, finally daring to separate his face from Gee’s sodden t-shirt. I saw Gee’s grip on him fasten like a seatbelt, as though I was a danger that he had to protect Mikey from. I felt my heart force my lips into a reassuring smile, my head telling my heart that it was what Mikes needed to see, but Gerard just looked fiercely appalled that my heavy heart was light enough for my mouth to pick up in a smile.
“Get. The fuck. Out.” If there wasn’t so much resting on the outcome of this, then maybe I would have obeyed Gerard’s voice which was strained by the fact that, due to Mikey’s placement, he couldn’t get up and give me the physical beating I deserved. Ignoring the raw, unbridled fear that roller-coastered through my body, I firmly shook my head. “Get the fuck out Iero and stay the hell away from my brother!”
“Gee, stop it!” Mikey’s desperate voice yelled in tones of such forcefulness and certainty that all three of us paused in a stunned silence. Mikes was notorious for being quiet and for not saying when something bothered him until too late; so the fact that I had made him speak out made every atom of my being bristle with both pride and pleasure, but also sorrow that we had caused him even more distress. “Please. Just stop it. Leave Frankie alone.” This time his tone, although a lot quieter than his earlier dominant yell, had taken on an almost threatening quality, much like Gerard’s.
I looked to Gerard to see him fighting off his own shock and pleasure at his little brother finding the voice that he had had to be for him, our eyes caught to flash with some sort of agreement of a truce. Gee would do anything for Mikes, even forgive the fucker that had caused his little brother pain.
“Okay, Mikes.” He consented softly, squeezing Mikey’s shoulder twice as he started retracting into himself once more in the form of sobbing.
“I don’t hate you, Mikes.” I saw him gaze up at me, his gorgeous portals of vision filled with hope and some sort of longing to trust my honest words. Fuck. Was it really that bad? I knew that Mikey had a hard time finding trust, but had he truly lost his, what I believed to be, strong and vital trust in me? Had I really fucked up badly enough to let him believe that he was more hated than he actually was; that I hated him?
Gerard cautiously pulled away from his slightly, so that they Mikey was sat next to him on the covers instead of on him and I knew what Gerard was, pleasantly surprisingly, telling me to do. Slowly and gently I placed a loving hand onto Mikey’s quivering shoulder, my small palm easily covering his whole shoulder and overlapping well over both sides; more sickeningly still, I could feel the intricate details of each precious bone that my fingers dusted over. How had I not noticed him getting so skinny? I mean, sure he’s naturally slim but, looking at him them I was sure that if he bent over he would just snap in half like twig under a dog’s huge paw. I gently ran a helplessly curious hand down his back, ever mindful of Gerard’s icy iron stare; it was as though he expected me to smash Mikey’s face in at any given moment. Not that I’d have been able to, Gee would’ve torn out my jugular with his bare hands the nanosecond my foolish fingers formed a fist. I started to feel physically sick. The inquisitive tips of my probing fingers brushed gently over every delicate bone in his paper-thin back. Fuck, I loved him so much and to see him in such a pitiful state made me feel like I was in his situation. And the fact that I hadn’t even noticed his dramatic decrease in size made me feel like I wanted to burn in hell just to escape the searing emotional pain of such an inexcusable failure.
I saw his deep, meaningful and lost eyes searching my face for some kind of sign and realised that I’d been in a state of deep contemplation, whilst slowly stroking him, for several broken minutes. He looked desperate for me to say something to take his pain away, yet petrified of rejection. The result of which was a very innocent, very cute and very heart-smashing facial expression that caused my eyes to melt into tears. I blinked them quickly away and offered him a small, caring smile.
“I don’t hate you, Mikey. I could never hate someone so perfect, so kind, so wonderful, so sexy.” I purred in a tone I had never used with such sincerity; yeah, I’d been seductive before, but never had I truly meant the things I’d said to get what I wanted. My statement was met with confused (and in Mikey’s case, awestruck) stares from the Way brothers.
Well, if I had nothing else, at least I had the Iero charm. Ha.
I motion for Mikey to stand up, a genuine look of hopeful reassurance super-glued to my face, his own face reflecting an uncertainty that made me regret my last few words of cheeky flirtyness. I saw him look to Gee for guidance, but he was just staring emotionlessly and trying to decide if I was being serious or not. Fuck. Had my actions that day really cost me the trust of both Way brothers? Yeah, I had a reputation as a joker, but did they really think that I was capable of messing around in a situation like this; mere hours after someone that I love with all of my black heart had tried to rob the world of himself?
I nervously leant over to Gee so that my dry mouth was right by his ear.
“Trust me.” I whispered beseechingly, quiet enough for Mikey to deaf to my words.
Gee tilted his head up so that his reply would have immediate passage into my anxious mind and not into his confused little brother’s
“Hurt him and I will rip your balls off.”
I nodded hurriedly, not for a split second doubting that he actually would/could make good of his deadly serious threat. I knew then that I’d have to tread carefully and absolutely not let myself fuck up again; for both Mikey’s sake and for the sake of my balls. I backed up into the centre of the cell-like room, all the while holding Mikey’s intense gaze with my own, encouraging eyes.
“Mikes, c’mere.” I mumbled in a way that made it perfectly clear that he was in control of the situation and that I wasn’t fucking around with his precious, bleeding heart. He broke our eye-locked state to turn back to his big brother, but he had already started to stand despite the shakiness and uncertainty of his movements.
“Go on, Mikes. I won’t let him hurt you.” As much as it stung like antiseptic on my eyeballs, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I had Gee’s hard-to-gain blessing. Not to mention that my beloved balls were no longer an immediate risk from a certain over-protective big brother’s surprisingly strong hands.
He stepped tentatively to be opposite me, his tears shining on the edge of his eyelashes like viciously sharp daggers, ready to obliterate every part of my being at any given moment. We looked at each other for an eternity of short seconds, taking in each other’s stance and facial expression. I reached my persuading arms out and looked firmly into his hopeful, yet cutely disbelieving, eyes. It was obvious that he needed some encouragement to do what we both so urgently wanted and needed. So I stepped forward and embraced him in a hug that was brimming with love, but was also possible to break apart from if he so wished. I leaned my face towards his own, invaluable masterpiece.
And that was all he needed.
He wrapped his arms tightly, almost lustfully, around my neck and before I even knew what he was doing, our lips were crashing together like two puzzle pieces that looked right but didn’t quite fit. Before I could begin to process where may hands were going (and judging by Mikey’s pleasurable moan and Gerard’s swift exit from the room, they were in far from innocent places) I had pulled him down onto the bed, me laying carefully on top of him. His hands pulled excitedly on my hair and our tongues were becoming almost as intertwined as we were. I was starting to see a surprisingly forceful and lusty side of Mikes that I could never have guessed existed beneath his shy personality; and it was a side to him that I liked, that turned me on beyond belief, that made me feel truly blessed that I was the first to be seeing it.
Our harmonic ecstasy was too quickly stomped out when we heard a car pull up outside; his parents were home. I sat up, as did he, collecting the memory of how my shirt had gotten torn by Mikey’s eager hands and how I was going to explain it to my mother. Oh well, at least I wouldn’t have to explain why my jean zip had been ripped from it’s placement like Mikey would have to.
He collapsed into me and I cradled him, looking down to see a sight that I had almost forgotten; Mikey was smiling. Not a fake smile plastered onto his face to please others, nor was it a smile of momentary well-being. It was a smile that screamed happiness, a smile that I would be seeing a lot more of.
“I love you, Frank Iero.” There was no uncertainty, no anguish, no pain; just rampant tenderness and adoration. It was enough to mend the scars that the day had caused and even started to disinfect the wounds on my soul that living life without a happy Mikey had inflicted upon me.
“I love you too, Michael Way.”
A/N; Thanks for reading, please review. :)
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