FicWad

My given name is Knukales- "Powerful Son of Heaven". And of course, it is befitting. After all, I am most well known for my strength, as it has served me well over the years. My fists have been compared to steel, my punch, to getting hit with a boulder. I can break stone with ease, and as long as I keep my hands safely protected, I hardly notice the pressure that is put upon them.

I have had to be strong: all these years and still, I guard the sacred stone of my species. The shrine that I so dutifully protect is what keeps me and the flora inhabitants alive- it is that powerful. To keep it safe, I must equal it in strength, of course.

Except...

Well, who would believe me if I told them that I am hardly in control of what I do? I don't think they would understand if I told them that the Master is more in control of my fate than I am. For two thousand years, I have guarded this valuable gem with life and limb. And during those two thousand years, the emerald has been shattered uncountable times. But it was that same gem that aided me when I could hunt no more, when confusion and desperation drove me to the brink. My senses were never enough. I always had help. It seems fate has chosen my curse to be thatI am lost without the very thing I must not lose.

This is assuming that I had to be born with this duty. Had I lived in another time, had things in the past not happened as they did, I might never have had to protect this stupid thing.

Then what?

I know what happened all those years ago. It was my grandmother who made me what I am today. And in some ways, I understand her desperation.

She had been barely conceived my father when the war struck full-throttle. Within a week everything was in chaos. Her own husband had died trying to stop the monster of a Water-God that our very species had awakened.

I understand that she had no choice. Though it was a sin among our people to do so, there was no other way she could save the remainders of our species. She stilled her soul within the emerald that I guarded- and with that, the spirit of the monster.

She did not die immediately after the stilling, however. In fact, she survived to the average age exectancy at the time. One can survive without a soul- they simply do not live in the sense that we normally see it.

She gave birth to my father, who was condemned as the son of a soulless- hence, he was a half-soul. This did not stop my mother from falling in love with him, and they brought forth myself. There is no specific name for what I was- putting it as simply as possible, I was condemned, nothing more.

Nowadays, these things about me don't matter. And why should it? From the time that I came from, it was a crime not to live life to its fullest. Only a few in this day and age are not sooty-black with the sins they have committed against themselves and others.

I was not exposed to this for many years, however. I spent all up until the last year and a half on that god forsaken island.

Then I met Sonic and his little helpers.

For quite a while I couldn't get over the fact that one of them might end up stealing the Master. After I got over that, I simply was too anti-social to fit into a crowd.

Then, recently, during one of our little missions, I saw /her/... Truly unlike anyone I had ever met before, she captivated me, held me spellbound and shaking. I had thought so badly of her at first- suspicious, as you might have guessed- since she equaled me in martial skill and rivaled me in passion for the Master.

It was not until later that I realized how much respect I held for her. She was so confident in herself, assured without being prideful. I came to see her beauty on the inside, then finally used my eyes to see beauty that reflected itself on the outside.

And then I let her turn and walk out of my life without a word. Because I was too damn shy and insecure to get myself up, stand there and say simply "I love you". I look back on all the things I wanted to say.

I love you, Rouge.

You're making me, driving me mad.

Please don't ever stop looking at me that way.

Why do you have to be so god damned perfect?

I could say these things to myself a million times over and more and it wouldn't make a difference. She would never have had you anyway, I convince myself. You're such an ignorant, self-absorbed monster- why the hell would she even let you cross her mind?

I used to hate the people I was around. It was my fear, my weaknesses that separated me from ever letting them into my life.

So maybe, just maybe, that means I am finally getting stronger. Maybe I'm finally allowing myself to risk them dying before me. Maybe I'm finally resigning myself to enjoy the life that I have, though it may last for eternity, and the lives of those around me most certainly won't.

My name is Knuckles-The growing son of heaven.


Author's Note: I love Knuckles. Hence, I wanted to write something angsty that didn't have to do with furry aliens.
Instead, I write about furry mutated animals. Glory. T_T'
So I wrote this. And I like it. If I forgot anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.